HE SKIPPED THE regular formalities of a hello; formal greetings of how are you? Or how have you been for the passed twenty two hours since I've been gone? sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving for Las Vegas and you had to hear it from that loud mouth assistant of mine a reason to why he was here hours ahead of his trip schedule or if he could cancel the rest of his trip this entire time why not come to school first and have that talk with the Principal. Nope, he chose to make some ending scene entrance, and disrupt my minimum amount of peace.

  I wondered why this urgency couldn't wait till the morning, I really wasn't going anywhere, what was the rush? Couldn't he simply hold his words, no for him, my time was nothing he called anytime the perfect time.

  He stepped out of the doorway, his body motioned me to pass, my gaze was tugged to the floor, as I swirled quickly out, he remained still. I had wisely decided to keep enough distance from him, carefully keeping my head focused forward, in spite of him being no way on my track, my footsteps solely were the only ones I could hear. Which wasn't so bad.

  I gulped down a sharp breath, fear and intense wonder trapped in every corner of my head. My steps embodied this sort of fazed coordination verged with unmeasured and even wobbly footsteps. The hallway this unusual length casted with dimness and pin drop quietness. Clenching and unclenching the fists at the sides of my frame, whilst brushing the intrusion to dig my fingernails into my flesh, beats of sweat glistened on my forehead and my skin felt all tightened and clammy, wondering what was going through his head.

  Ultimately, I got to the living room, it was as if I had just walked into my very own execution, the lights still on, spun like those eerie bulbs hooked on those old films torture chairs, a fidgety wave jolted down my spine, which rendered me momentarily dizzy. Our matching furniture of oyster bay grey and deep black, seemed to only unnerve me more. I swallowed the immense lump in my throat, quickly whirling myself to the edge of the L- shaped sofa, the one that was twenty five feet from the floor length colossal smokey windows, I didn't notice him walk in only after I sat down, directly facing toward him, but I guess getting comfortable for a reprimanding was a stupid idea.

  ''No. Get up, I want you standing.'' He's stocky figure stood next to the long rectangle black glass table, his arms in a tight lock on his chest, his jaw hardened, his voice practically hummed with arctic notes, his gaze mirroring it all.

  I sighed agitatedly beneath my breath, I had a blank gaze on, although playing innocence and letting a remorseful plaster started to look like a better strategy for my situation, I stood up. He lowered his eyes at me, a strong calculating pinch developed, as he decided to sit on the sofa's armrest adjacent to mine, I was still thankful for the lengthy distance between us.

  Although, He's eyes should have faced anywhere but my face. They should have been closed. They should have been empty but no favor there, they watched me with disappointment, those neon billboards signs of distaste and intense irk. I was screwed, I knew it, and that frightened me for him to look at me like but I played obedient and tried my hardest to not look away from him, he found that exasperating and disrespectful.

  I'll be bluntly truthful, he hated when I did that, he once pinned me to a wall for that, shying seconds away from breaking my nose with his hard fist for being what, apparently he didn't like it when I asked the questions, however my days of being were like a distant memory, it all happened three years ago. After that last atrocity, he dumped me off at his mom's home in London, by the time he got back, five percent character development had been achieved.

  He must have gotten the worst therapy ever, he was more than wafted on at being stern and inflections of aloof, sometimes he was Dad but a wide range of our time a total stranger, a confused cold shadow.

  ''It has not Even been a month yet and I'm hearing you were almost suspended?'' Yep, I couldn't believe it either I was just as appalled as he was, but his words grounded indefinite outraged, betraying his will to keep calm. This place, particularly this room was supposed to conveniently convey a sense of or the least bit of amicable depth, but of course I couldn't be more wrong at that, it only seemed to define the opposite, fear and anticipation jutted through my stomach and I responsively flinched comparatively at the hearing of his bitter tone, my mouth was bone dry, inadvertently outlining a turmoil frown.

  It stroke eerie quietness and time felt unfairly halted, margining cruel coldness, in both the current nature of this room and the reflection of his stance. How he could convert it all into one stare, buggled me. His eyes were like the depth of an ocean, too dark to witness whilst being too hard to continue lingering under, I had never seen them this dark, somehow steering with absolute pitch darkness, just exploding with pure irate, His gaze only seemed to mediate that livid range minutely, as if settling then getting angered all over again, my sight might have been the root of that problem, .

  I cut the silence, pondering Dad knew how a conversation worked, it was my turn to explain myself and my tongue proceeded to click start. ''Dad it wasn't my fault-"

  ''Of course it wasn't.'' He interrupted bitter notes rubbed at his choice of words, flexing his calloused toned arms slightly underneath his chest, as if scalded he tore away partially, strategizing, putting up reasons to deflate my defense and fix me in the wrong.

  ''It was mine for thinking You could actually take this seriously. '' He's fingers now rubbed at his forehead crowned with thin traces of frowns, his gaze flared at the pewter green marble floors. ''You are a selfish unappreciating child.'' He scolded, as quick shot as they got out was not how my ears received them, he's entreated words were like blows to my stomach, he treated me like a child, dictated my life for me and still expected me to style in otherwise, he really failed to realize he was definitively wrong, for like all of the decisions made for half of my life, and above all he hadn't even let me speak or justify my own actions. It sheltered in more sadness than anger.

  My gaze met the floor, how could I look him straight in the eye when he had never put my interests in consideration. I found it astounding as an overall feeling threading throughout the years, or how I could never hate him at all but only myself, an ire assortment of knots kneaded me in the chest of how regardless of our dispute, I still carried in thoughts of wanting to get a reason of his sudden arrival, make an inquiry about what exactly did his loyal assistant tell him, or perhaps did he really choose to come back for me? But I buried those thoughts adding a layer of reimagining my day, thinking what if he was right, what if I could have avoided this- that stupid fight, what if I could have tried alittle more to stay out of trouble. But reality was I didn't I walked straight into it. And it was round two of accepting consequences.

  ''I know you did this to get back at me for giving you a second option. A Chance to leave some normal life and go to school, Like Everbody else. A chance away from all the media. That's what I wanted for you, that's why I chose to come back here, to give you that, but do you even consider that? No. What you want is to cause trouble with your derogatory behavior, provoke me, make it seem subtle but making sure I know that you're blaming me for supposedly making your life a living hell-"

  Stolen novel; please report.

  ''That's Not even true.'' I shot an immediate squint accompanied by a glare at the tasteless words, all of those false accusations, were so ludicrous and exaggerated. ''I did behave this entire time! Don't you think that for a second maybe just MAYBE it wasn't my fault! Why would I want that? I've been trying my whole to adjust to that school! Fence, My grades- Everything Dad!'' My voice was well informed with incredulous, infuriation and impassioned, it was with every syllable jarred out of me, which stood with strength and resistance to cave in, almost insulting for him, I was afraid that might be so. Here I stood with a heavy heart and promises of relentless in my speaking, he was going to listen to whatever I said whether he liked it or not.

  ''I got the vice captain position in basketball did you even think of considering that. . Perhaps I deserved some little bit of acknowledgement? You don't even know what happened that day, Some- some student.'' I felt like I could hardly breathe with flooding edgy after thoughts, perpetuating priorly, fluster and finality. ''Did Diane forget to tell you what happened to my leg? No, I don't think so? She did, didn't she? But you don't care! How's this a better life if it's hurting me?! You could atleast be fair and ask the story behind what happened! Have you ever asked how a single day in school's been going?! One screw up and everything else is overshadowed!''

  For the first time in my life, I had poured out my heart to Dad, and he listened, he, actually listened painting no overshadowing addresses or cutting me short, he was actually listening. Sadly Transiently.

  In such a shift of unfair time, slow intonation of mockery molded out of him. ''Do you know what I hear-'' They was a sudden quick pause that birthed a tight lowering glare. ''A bratty querulous kid talking- who hasn't gone through a tough time, Alwyn? Do you know what I think? I've been too lenient with you. You don't know what the real world feels like, a little sprain on your leg and your crying about it, it's evident our circumstances are different but school wasn't that easy for me either, it was tough, tougher than Anything you'll ever go through and Do you want to know what topped it all, Junior? I didn't have a Dad to do anything for me, he was never there, he took off to Who knew where when I was barely three! I give you all of this and All you care is how fairly they treat you, I mean look at that leg.'' Traces of hurt along side pockets of disbelief lining in with a- print constricted in his last utterance.

  I infact standing firmly on it, which of course made my story hard to believe. He therefore got up in a thunderous manner, leaving snippets of leather to leave the sofa's edge, as he towered infront of me, like a fleeting murky storm, I succumbed to the action, a tensing shiver ran down my figure as I recoiled, drastically but not enough.

  Habitually, pondering I could never match his tastes, or just my behavior, stop my words, fix myself right or be the opposite of a cowardly succumb. I felt all the narrow tension between us, not just literal but figuratively as well, it was so cold, hostile and fazed. He caught a fistful of my shirt collar, his fingernails grazing scratches on my collarbone, leaving soft pain aching within each scratch but I hardly cared, he grimly met my face. Too tight. Too locked. Too crashed and baked with blunt force featured on his handsome face, a heavy riot of silky dark ash blond neat locks ruined at the whirl pressure of his brutal actions.

  ''Think TWICE next time before yelling at me, understood. '' I had looked into impassive, melancholic, bored, fatigued, feebly ire, blinking bliss, kind eyes before maybe even affectionate but fixated into these was my very first, impossible ruthlessness matted with unadulterated distaste, tasted with glittering murk at the depth characterized with one focus, I would have preferred disappointment instead of hatred in his sworn midnight blue eyes. Maybe then, I could forget that agonizing pain it blazed within me, it made everything in me shatter and collapse into nothing but glassy eyes.

  He was ahead of the spruce chandelier, which administered glorious rays of soft bright light; in the half light his features outlined faintly, sketched with shadowy and lethal betrayal. I was batedly, torn and exposed to this new side of him stood there like a pile of nothing, I knew he could see the fear introduced into my eyes, the white sheet folds of shock, the tightness of my face but he chose to ignore and ignite his ill temper, a menace to a next time. ''If I'm to hear another report from your school Alwyn, you'll see what Real hell is.'' He's voice was low, hoarse and yet it was the soft delivery that frightened me. He finally left me, but not without a last threat. He bluntly pushed me to the very coach I sat on priorly, almost unbalancing me off it.

  He walked away without a care in the world. I watched his back with respite, after he was long gone and I heard him slam his door up stairs. I shut my eyes and rubbed my furrowed forehead, fuming at that moment, acknowledging it, wielding myself not to shed a single tear, ! He had promised to never be this rigorous but obviously that was a lie,

  I inhaled hazily, before picking myself up and heading back to my room. I could kick myself, it was real daft- hypothetic! To think that for , once I swear, he could listen- and I yelled at him, I don't even know who I was. ? I kicked off everything and actually thought I could reason with him.

  When I opened my door, I got this weird feeling recalling when I firstly opened my door my mood was better, I wasn't so ticked off and disquiet, but nope now that felt just like a memory that didn't ever exist, I closed it. As I just stood there remembering every Name he called me.

  My mind traced the words, crossing Every part, wondering did he really think that- that I was just some bratty, selfish, unappreciating child? He never considered that maybe it was hard to adjust with everything, start a new life, go to a high school for the first time, make sure you're great in everything, make friends- , he knew nothing of how being new felt like, he had never had that string played, no chance to feel like that, for your Name to be overshadowed by another, to have people around who pretended to care, all because they want something from you, to be hated for doing absolutely nothing, for most of everyone against you for an opinion that didn't even concern any of them, to win something and actually get hurt for it, he knew Nothing and just like Everybody else he expected it to be all just fine, I'd get it.

  Then they was the alternative side of him being. . . . All his words in fact described me better that anything ever did, I was just some undeserving son. All he did just ask from me was to go to school, and do just that, it didn't matter if I didn't have any friends I was better off on my own, embracing the solitude and whether or not students hated me, so much to a point even when they tried to hurt me I should have just been immune to the pain, and carried on, Maybe that's what his definition of Normal school attendancy meant to him.

  I was so confused. If that's what it was I had been doing it all wrong then, screwing it up. I could feel pressure build up in my lungs, I felt like I couldn't breathe my head was spinning, I felt so lost, anxious, flustered and most of all hurt. Then it was as if the sound around me vanished, completely obliterated, the only thing I could hear, was my heavy breathing.

  I did what I thought would if not cease the pain then manage it I was pleading ever so pathetic, grabbed my bed covers and threw them off my bed. I pushed everything down on my desk, I threw my pillows, sofa cushions at the wall, and since that didn't amount to anything thing I immediately switched strategy, I banged my arms on my balcony doors, feeling like I deserved everything coming to me, perhaps that was why my luck was so scarce, I had completely lost it.

  Until I just stopped.

  I embitteredly, fell back on the floor, leaned next to my bed. None of all that helped, the pain never subdued, it was like I was still trapped in its bottomless pit, while the monsters in it, slowly consumed me bit by bit.

  I wanted it to go away, I wanted those taunting voices to stop getting louder, I wanted to make it go away- to make myself feel- nothing, Nothing at all. My emotions they felt so louder, so strong, hailing down on me. I didn't know how to send that cursed emotion of distress- I knew that was not true, it was more than that, I just couldn't put it into fixed words, I didn't think anyone could.

  All those raw emotions spiralling around and around my clogged head. I just sat there, whimpering like stupid kid. Eyes lifelessly staring at my childish~fit mess.

  ''He's not listening. . . He doesn't understand.'' Words left my lips, the pain I felt was unbearable, I couldn't breathe. It stabbed at me that he couldn't even consider my trying efforts, to him in one word I was , and that destroyed me inside.