“Then let’s cash in,” Bartold heard Miriam say next to him as they approached the gate.

  “Assuming they don’t do anything stupid,” Martin remarked, slightly nervous.

  “Oh, it’ll be fine, they’ve never given us any trouble before, and they won’t start now when we’re standing here with our entire band in front of their gate,” Bartold reassured him.

  Now just keep calm and I’ll soon be rid of you all and as rich as a, well, as a dragon, I suppose, he thought with a grin.

  Finally, he and his companions stopped just outside the north gate and when he saw Albert and Ivar standing on top of the palisade, he called up to them, enhancing his voice while doing so.

  “And is everything ready? I expect this gate to open any moment now and then I’ll better see a cart full of valuables, or two if one wasn’t enough”, he boomed up to them.

  There were a few moments of silence, during which they saw the two men on the gate whispering to each other so that he couldn't understand what was being said.

  Finally, the silence was broken by Albert speaking, his voice coming down from the gate to them so loudly and clearly that Bartold felt like the man was standing right in front of him.

  "We need to talk to you again about that. I'm afraid there was a small misunderstanding between us that caused some confusion," Albert said to them.

  "Does that count as something stupid?" Martin asked quietly.

  "I think it's definitely in that direction," Miriam replied.

  Stay calm, Bartold admonished himself before addressing Albert.

  "Well, I think my instructions were actually more than clear, weren't they? eight thousand sterling, a clear whole number, and if you don't have that, then you can payoff the rest with other wares. I'm sure someone like you wouldn't be confused by such large numbers, would you?" Bartold asked mockingly, accompanied by the laughter of his companions.

  "Oh, don't worry, I can still mentally process up to six zeros, thank you for asking. What confused us more is whose idea this... well, special tax is. This morning you came here and said that you were here on behalf of Aodhan to collect money, because he apparently demolished your base in a fit of rage, for which Mr. Lind and his companion were supposed to be responsible, and because you and your master believe that we sent them, we should now pay for the damage, right?" Albert replied, without further addressing the insult.

  Mr. Lind? Who the hell is Mr... ah, how awfully creative of you Bartold thought briefly, confused, before he answered.

  "You've already answered the question yourself. Aodhan sent us and believe me, he's angry enough that he doesn't really care whether you are in cahoots with this Lind or not, I can only advise you to pay us off as quickly as possible before you find out exactly how angry he is," he replied annoyed, trying desperately to figure out what Albert was getting at.

  "Well, I just find it a bit strange that Aodhan hasn't come personally to collect this tax, precisely because he's so angry. On top of that, just a few moments ago you were talking about your instructions and not Aodhan's. That begs the question, are you here on Aodhan's orders or are you acting on your own?" Albert said in an accusatory tone.

  What kind of nonsense has that cowardly little lizard put into their heads? I should have just stabbed him in his cell and made up some bullshit excuse, like he attacked me or something, damn it, you're not ruining my retirement, you idiots! he mentally raged, but still managed to answer with a mocking laugh.

  "Haha, that would be nice but no. You know that they're called the Dragon's Men and not Bartold's Men. Aodhan is only not here because he overexerted himself during his tantrum and is currently taking a nap. He also made it clear to us that he expects a proper present from you when he wakes up," Bartold replied, trying to sound as threatening and confident as possible.

  "If he's currently taking a nap, why are you already here? Aodhan has been dozing for weeks, if not months, and you'd think that there's a lot of chaos going on at your place because of these supposed burglars. And instead of asking you how this could have happened, you marched right down here to rob us? This all seems pretty hectic to me, so let's just take our chances. Aodhan is not a wild animal, he knows that he won't get anything if he destroys our City and you won't get anything from us until Aodhan himself is at our gates to collect his tax," Albert shouted at him.

  This is a nightmare, he thought, fighting for every bit of color on his face after hearing Albert's words.

  His companions, on the other hand, he noted with relief, didn't seem to be too impressed.

  "That's new, I think this is the first time they've refused to pay the dragon tax," Martin murmured, tilting his head slightly.

  "Oh, this is going to be really funny," Miriam said excitedly, looking curiously at Albert.

  “So, you seriously expect me to march up the mountain again, wake Aodhan and tell him that he has to fly over here personally because you think that I am secretly carrying out this operation under his nose?” he asked, in what he hoped was an indignant rather than panicked voice.

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  “You can remind him that it is one of the duties of a good lord to show his face to the peasants every now and then, even if it is just to remind them that he is still there. By the way, we do not believe that you are secretly carrying out the whole thing under his nose, we believe that Aodhan is dead,” Ivar spoke now, his voice coming from the gate in an unpleasantly roaring manner rather than loud and clear like Albert's, so that Bartold was unfortunately pretty sure that the rest of his people further back had heard it too.

  Damm, you shouting bastard and damned by all the gods Aodhan, you are not going to sabotage my retirement here, it flashed through his mind angrily.

  He quickly looked left and right, hoping as inconspicuously as possible, to check the reaction of his two partners.

  As expected, Martin seemed more confused than anything else and scratched his head, apparently lost in thought, while Miriam had started giggling and talked about how they would probably see some fireworks after all.

  "Aodhan dead?" I must say Ivar, I wouldn't have thought you were the type to be delusional, but one can be wrong, I guess. I hope you are aware of the consequences this will have for you and your city, right?" Bartold asked now, using a bit of magic to make his voice sound deeper and hopefully more threatening, a trick that had already proven itself in many robberies.

  As far as he could see, Ivar had turned to the side and was apparently having a coughing fit, so it was Albert again who answered in what he now found to be an extremely annoying, calm tone.

  "Of course, we know what that means. It means that you're going to march over to the rest of your accomplices and tell them some story about why you can't call Aodhan, but I hope you know that Schlucht will fight bitterly against any attempt by you to get through these gates as long as the dragon's men don't have a dragon behind them," Albert explained to him dryly.

  "Now for my own conscience, let me explain to you again exactly what the consequences of all this will be. The way Aodhan is feeling right now, I'd be reluctant to bother him with this peasant uprising. You should be aware that we can get through the gate without a dragon and if we do, well, unfortunately not all of us have as much control over ourselves as I do and once we have walked through your gate, there will be no more holding back. Then there will be hardly a ruin left of Schlucht. Either way, we will take what we came for, how much of your city is left after that is up to you,” said Bartold, using magic to distort his voice so that it resembled Aodhan's draconic growling.

  It wasn't a perfect imitation, but judging by the silence that followed his speech, it had served its purpose, nonetheless.

  At least he thought so, before the silence was broken by Ivar, who roared down at them again in a booming voice.

  “Impressive speech and successful dragon imitation, but as I said, we know that Aodhan is dead. As for you Martin and Miriam, I hope you noticed how he immediately made up an excuse when it came to bringing your real leader here. As for you, this gate and the adjacent palisades were built to withstand monster attacks, good luck walking through them like that,” Ivar yelled down at them, knocking on the palisade.

  “Are you crazy? You really want to take the risk, you're not soldiers, in case you missed that,” he shouted at the captain of the guard from Schlucht, trying to sound as mocking and superior as he could.

  “Well, neither are you,” Ivar yelled back.

  “We have better weapons,” he replied angrily.

  “As long as you can't pull a battering ram out of your ass, I don't really care,” Ivar replied nonchalantly.

  He noticed how his companions looked back and forth between him and Ivar, slightly confused but also amused, as they exchanged blows, and finally decided that he had had enough.

  Stay calm, Bartold, you shouldn't have taken his bait in the first place he tried to calm himself before turning to Albert, who stayed silent during the whole exchange.

  "Albert, you're the mayor of Schlucht, so I hope for your sake and that of your city that you don't share the opinion of that crazy wannabe guard," he said urgently to Albert.

  After a few moments of silence, Albert finally answered, just as Bartold was about to speak again.

  "And I hope we can end this conversation now. Our guard captain has said everything there is to say. Without Aodhan, we don't have to be afraid of a megalomaniac wannabe tax collector and his thugs. And should you try to attack us and then actually manage to break through our gates, I must warn you that I will probably not be able to hold my people back if the thieves who have been harassing them for decades run in front of their pitchforks and now go, I assume you still have to put on a play called Where is our Dragon,” Albert concluded his speech in an almost bored tone.

  I'll rip your head off and find some craftsman who will carve a chamber pot out of your skull for me , he raged internally, clutching his sword scabbard so tightly that his hands turned white.

  “Oh, if that's the case, you'll get your dragon yet, count on it,” he snapped back angrily and turned abruptly around with his two companions in tow.

  Time to improvise, he thought to himself as he approached a group of bandits who were becoming increasingly restless.

  "I have to say Albert great performance. I think I heard Bartold's inner screams all the way up here," said Ivar, after he could speak somewhat again.

  "Thanks, I crossed my arms behind my back so he wouldn't notice the shaking. Do you think, he saw my eye twitch?" Albert asked worried.

  "No, I think he was too far away for that," he answered after thinking for a moment.

  "Let's hope that he can't somehow improve his eyesight, unfortunately that always happens to me with my eyes when I get too nervous. Hopefully we've put Bartold in a difficult position to explain himself," said Albert massaging his wrists that he had intertwined behind his back like some iron chains while he spoke to Bartold.

  "Yes, he's probably telling them some nonsense and scaring them of the big, bad dragon. Let's hope they're not stupid enough to fall for something like that," he said with a chuckle.

  The two men sat quietly next to each other for a while, thinking about their experiences with the other dragon men so far.

  They thought about Martin, who when he first arrived in Schlucht was afraid of the huge water-spouting monster pig that overlooked the market square, and about Miriam, who had almost managed to set herself and the Happy Dwarf's Inn on fire while drunk.

  With memories like these surfacing, it didn't take long for the two men to come to a terrible realization.

  Finally, it was Albert who first dared to say what they both had in mind.

  "Ivar, I'm afraid our plan has a crucial weakness," he finally said tonelessly.

  "Damn, yes, I think we didn't take all the factors into account, we were just too euphoric about the thing with Aodhan. I... I'm afraid we should probably prepare ourselves to take our bluff a little further, if necessary," he admitted, gritting his teeth.

  “Don’t lose the gate under any circumstances,” he heard Albert mutter as they began to descend the palisade together to warn the residents of Schlucht of the impending scenario.