I yanwed. Looking around, I noticed that Alexandra was out of bed, jittering near the corner. She seemed to be mumbling to herself. “Come on. Darn it!”

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  “Yes, quite all alright,” she said, but continued to move in a flustered way as she bounced on the cold stone.

  “Aren’t we still alone? I don’t see the point in lying.”

  She turned to look at me. “I can’t…. Aaaa. I can’t get it to work. And, I’d much rather avoid….” She paused and pointed to the pot.

  “Oh, Zureinigen?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  Did distance matter? I can’t imagine it did. It wasn’t like I touched the tea-stained rag when I practiced. I closed my eyes and found that familiar heat source in the pit of my stomach. Pulling on it, I touched my finger to my stomach. I focused my mind on her and pointed.

  “Zureinigen.”

  She stopped bouncing and let out a sigh. “So much better.” She sat back down on the bed and shivered a bit. “I can’t believe you can already move your mana so well. How do you get it to curve around your shoulder?”

  “No clue,” I said. I hadn’t even tried to do that yet.

  “I thought we were going to lean on each other. As you said, what is the point of secret right now?” she asked.

  “What secret? I can’t do that. So, I don’t know how to do it.”

  “But… you cast the spell, and from such a distance no less? How?”

  I smirked. “I pulled it directly out of my stomach. And rubbed my hand against the mana.”

  “That’s cheating!” she shouted.

  I just smiled at her. Like, why? What did it matter?

  “Hmph, if nothing else, I suppose it explains how you beat me,” she paused and looked at me. “Don’t you need to use the spell on yourself?”

  “Nah. I’ll use the pot once I warm up a bit,” I said. Not my first time holding it because it was too cold.

  “Utterly nonsensical,” Alexandra added. “Why would you use the pot when you can use magic?”

  How to put it? I mean, I didn’t know anything about magic before. Well, I guess the priest used some healing magic. I heard some farmers used magic for farming, too. Mom and the village wives didn’t use any magic, so it never really felt like something that applied to me. And I wasn’t happy to have some noble woman reaching up in me with magic.

  “I guess it is unnecessary?” I said. Not even I thought my argument was very convincing.

  “How unbelievably rude of you. Is this how Hatula raises its children? To be so unkind to those beneath them.”

  I sat up, scratching my head. “How is my using the toilet rude? I’m not following.”

  “Just who is going to clean said mess?” she asked.

  “I can clean… oh.”

  She simply nodded. There wasn’t any chance of their letting me carry my own bucket of mess to dispose of. Or to fetch my own water to clean it. So Emilia or the other maids would be cleaning up after me. Ugh.

  “Zureinigen,” Alexandra said, and once again I felt that familiar relief wash over me. I shuddered a bit.

  “Hey! Can you at least ask first?” I said.

  “You didn’t ask me!” she said back.

  “You were struggling!”

  She leaned in close to me. Her cold body caused me to shudder a bit. “One shouldn’t need to wait to see another in pain. Why are you resistant to it? Does Hatula have some dislike of magic? I can see magic seems to distress you.”

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  “Am I that easy to read?” I asked.

  She simply nodded. I couldn’t just take her word for it, honestly. It wasn’t as if everyone in Hatula could read my mind or understand my general thought process with just a glance. It was like a special, noble thing. It was rather annoying if I was being honest. It made me worried thinking about it. Is this a skill I too, will need? Will I even be Julia if I learn it?

  I saw her eyes waiting for an answer. “Hatula has some magic. I never really involved myself with it before. So I can’t say I found it distressing before. But, well. This entire situation has been a lot. I can’t imagine you’d enjoy losing your name?”

  She laughed. Not a subtle laugh either, like falling onto her back laughing with all she had.

  I just fell back in bed. “Glad to find my situation makes you laugh.”

  She eventually rubbed a tear from her eye as she contained her laughter. “I… I really don’t mean it badly, just. I have never imagined someone like you would exist. Your perspective is so different than any I have ever seen. For us nobles, losing our name is, in a sense, the goal.”

  “Huh? I… what?”

  She sat up and wrapped the blanket around herself. “Let me explain. When my Mother is in the capital, they never call her Elise. She is Baroness Malatise. Only someone who hated her would call her Baroness Elise without permission. This place is known as the Malatise Barony. And losing her name to become its Baronness was her goal.”

  “Why?” I asked without thinking. Why was that a goal?

  “Because it was a step up. My Mother came from a poor family. In fact, after I was born, they lost their noble rank. But my Mother managed to keep hers because she married my Father. It wasn’t as if she were the only suitor. Some could say that she was the least fit, given her family's situation. Malatise is a badge of honor. A proof of how much better she was. Surely even Hatula does something similar? How do things resolve when multiple people seek the same partner?”

  A badge of honor. Like a mark of pride? That is what my Mom called, which I think she meant. When my Mom married Dad, she started sewing a blanket. At the base of it, she engraved the Wind God’s sigil. The same one on my ring. She said she felt blessed by the gods. My Dad was a handsome man, she told me. All the girls wanted him if she told the truth.

  Kevin was the same for me. Perhaps not all the girls, but I knew of three others, baking for him and offering him clothes. I did the same, I made him a shirt when I was thirteen. I remember how my heart stopped the first time I saw him smile at me while wearing it. I remember the day when I was fifteen that he told me. “I want to marry you.” I ended up crying without understanding why. Mom said it was normal. She was going to help me start my own blanket. So many things… that would never be.

  “My Mom called it a mark of pride,” I said.

  “Strange. Noble men use that term. I suppose Hatula didn’t realize there was a feminine version. But yes. Presumably in your life, you earned a few of them?”

  I nodded. Tears welled up in my eyes. “Kevin. I was the one who convinced him to pick me. That was my mark of pride.”

  “Well, when you two wed, do you expect others to call you by your given name still? Wouldn’t you take his last name?” she asked.

  I just buried my head in the pillow, crying. I know she didn’t know, but… it hurt too much to think about.

  “Are you okay? What did I say? I… I’m sorry.” She held my shoulder softly. Her skin was so soft, softer than a baby's, I swear.

  I tried to lean my face towards her. “Julia. My name is Julia, and we don’t have last names in Hatula. Actually, your mother is the only person I have ever heard with more than one name. So, if I married Kevin, people still would have called me Julia.”

  “My Father’s name is long too. Christopher Edgar Malatise. I am Alexandra Philine Malatise. Wait, if? I thought you had gained Kevin’s hand in marriage?”

  I just clenched my face, trying not to cry more. I took a deep breath. I don’t know how long it will be until they fetch us, but this was a prime chance to explain it to her better. “The gods shunned our wedding. That was when I became the Wind Maiden. Apparently, as part of my duty, I can only marry the Wind Hero. And… Kevin didn’t qualify.”

  She looked at me, and for the first time since my parents. I felt seen. I felt eyes that weren’t trying to pity me or tell me this was an honor. Just eyes that understood what I was feeling. “The gods are unfair sometimes, aren’t they?”

  I nodded.

  “If I can ask, how do you tell families apart? Malatise is my family name. Anyone with that name is my family. When I get married, I will take his last name in exchange for my own. That is how nobles remember family lines. So, that is why losing a name was such an honor for my Mother. It was proof of her, well, mark of pride.”

  “We don’t do anything like that. Remembering the families isn’t hard. There are only about fifteen different families.”

  It was a strange thought to imagine changing a name when you get married. But maybe it was a concept that should be more widespread. Perhaps it made something like losing your name easier to handle. At least, the idea that I would have known from the start that we are supposed to lose names.

  “Wow. So few? There are way more noble families than that. It was such a pain to learn them before my debut,” she said with a smile. I could tell she was trying to get me to laugh.

  “So, you see. Wind Maiden isn’t a mark of pride. It is a mark of despair. One that forbade me from keeping my name, marrying Kevin, and has taken me from Hatula,” I said. “I hate being called it. My name is Julia.”

  “I… uhm. Mother was very clear that I was never to call you anything but Wind Maiden. Not even in private or when I was alone. She didn’t even mention the name you used. I’m sorry.”

  It felt like a jab. A light jab, but just one more onto my aching heart. “It is okay. I’m over it.”

  We heard a tapping at the door. “Emilia here. May I come in?”

  “One moment,” Alexandra said before leaning really close to my ear and whispering. “Thank you very much, Lady Julia.”

  I… I couldn’t find any words. I just smiled. I didn’t even notice the sound of the door opening as Emilia came in with another maid and our dresses. Gods, why did the punishment ending feel worse than its beginning?