After we had cleaned the blood off ourselves. We washed the blood out of our clothes and hung them up to dry whilst we ate. Alexi was incredibly confused when Damecus served him his food first. He kept trying to give it back… he only started eating it when I ordered him to.

  Fortunately, Damecus had also set up the tent while we were cleaning our clothes… which meant that we could get some rest straight after eating.

  Dwynfel: “Alexi… you go get yourself to bed and we’ll finish cleaning up.”

  Alexi: “As you wish. How do you wish me to wait?”

  Dwynfel: “Huh? What do you mean wait?”

  Alexi: “For you, master Dwynfel. So, I may service you.”

  What the fuck is he talking about? What kind of service… hang on… oh… oh gods no… I think I’m going to be sick.

  Dwynfel: “No, no, no, absolutely not… you will not be servicing me… at all… ever. Do you understand?”

  Alexi: “Apologies, master Dwynfel. Have I misunderstood the situation?”

  Dwynfel: “Yes!”

  Alexi: “Are we both to service the large one? I observe that he has two…”

  Dwynfel: “No! Nobody is servicing anyone!”

  By the gods… at this point I want to resurrect Petri just so that I can kill him again.

  Alexi: “Apologies, master Dwynfel. Do I displease you?”

  Dwynfel: “No, you do not displease me. I just need to make some things very clear to you. You are five… you should not be servicing anybody… at all. You should not be touching anybody in that way… and nobody should be touching you in that way… and if anybody ever tries to make you, then I want you to tell me immediately, so that I can stab them in the face… do you understand?”

  Alexi: “Understood. It is simply that my previous master…”

  Dwynfel: “Your previous master was a psychopathic pervert and I smashed his face in with an axe because of it. Never look back on anything that man did and think that it was normal… and I don’t just mean the servicing stuff… the violence… the aggression… every time he hit you, cut you, burned you… every time he hurt you in any way… never think you deserved any of it and never think you brought it on yourself!”

  The boy looked down at the floor… I think he’s confused. Fuck… I think I’ve upset him. Was I too blunt? I couldn’t let him keep thinking that he needed to do those things… I can’t let him ever think he needs to do those things.

  But what if I’m not present… what if he ends up somewhere with somebody who would take advantage of him… he’d do anything somebody ordered him to. I’ve barely known the kid five minutes and already I can tell he has absolutely no self-worth.

  Dwynfel: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so… blunt with you. I just… I really need you to understand this.”

  Alexi: “I apologize, master Dwynfel. For I do not understand. If you do not wish these things of me, then why kill my master? Why take me?”

  Dwynfel: “For YOU. To protect YOU… to keep YOU safe… to make sure that these things could never happen to you again.”

  Alexi: “But, you did not know me prior to killing my master.”

  Dwynfel: “Your father told us about you. He asked us to help you.”

  Alexi: “I have no father. I am but a creature. Born to serve and nothing else.”

  By the gods… what kind of horrific brainwashing do they do over there. I’ve barely known the kid five minutes and I already want to burn that entire empire to the ground.

  Dwynfel: “That is not true. You were raised to believe that… but you had a father… who was forced to give you to that creep… you are a person… you have the same rights as everyone else… and nobody has the right to do what was done to you. You have the right to be a child… to play… to explore… to live the life that you choose.”

  Alexi: “I do not understand the concepts of which you speak.”

  Dwynfel: “Listen… Alexi… I don’t think that I am very good at explaining this. I think it would be best for you to see… to see the life you should be leading. We have something important to do… but afterwards… we will take you back to my farm… there is a boy there… observing him will hopefully help you to understand.”

  Alexi: “As you wish. I shall endeavour to understand.”

  Dwynfel: “Thank you. Now please, go to the tent and sleep however you feel most comfortable.”

  Alexi: “My comfort is not a priority, master Dwynfel.”

  Dwynfel: “If I order it to be… then it is… now go and sleep comfortably, please.”

  Fucking hell. I know that it isn’t his fault… but he is more exhausting than Tadwick. I feel like everything that I say is wrong. I think I’m being too blunt… but anything but blunt and he doesn’t understand. I want him to be happy and do what makes him comfortable but his self-worth is so abysmal that he refuses and concerns himself with me all the time. I don’t want to be firm and order him to do things… but it is the only way that he will listen. Fuck… how the fuck do I deal with this going forward?

  It took us most of the next day to get to the small village of Cynte, the others had beat us there. Which is hardly surprising… they did have the cart… and they didn’t have a child. Not that Alexi complained at all, he kept up with whatever pace was set. I am very aware that Damecus was purposely setting the pace significantly slower than normal. He was clearly conscious of how little Alexi’s legs are.

  The slaver assault ended fairly quickly by all accounts. Apparently, after they set off a few traps and began to be take several arrows and fireballs from the trees they soon turned tail and ran.

  Kiyui took over the childminding duties after we met up. Which I was incredibly glad about. Many would probably consider Alexi a pretty easy child… he does what he is ordered to do… he never steps out of line… he never argues. He is articulate and has an extensive vocabulary… which is highly abnormal for a five-year-old… and that scares me… as I doubt that this is the result him simply being well-educated… I suspect he was likely beaten to a horrific extend if he didn’t speak properly or failed to understand an instruction.

  The more time I spend with him the more glad I am that I killed that sick fuck… and the more angry I get that somebody could do such things… like… seriously angry. The incubus I at least vaguely understood… that was a survival thing… it was fucked up… massively fucked up… but it was doing it to survive. Petri… he didn’t need to do that stuff… any of it… he did it for his own amusement… and that… that makes me want to find his corpse, bring him back to life and kill him again… slower… much slower… and with so much more pain.

  Unfortunately, since Alexi considers me his master, he still seeks me out for instruction frequently. Which I am trying to discourage. I could order him to get his instructions from Kiyui and I’m sure he would. But that isn’t fixing the problem… that is simply shifting it onto somebody else.

  I am trying to tread carefully here and do what is best for him, but, in all honesty, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. You know how I was saying that I wanted there to be clear rules and things earlier… well yeah… I want clear rules for this as well… how the fuck am I meant to help him?

  I have tried asking the others and none of them have the slightest idea either. Most of them just keep giving me generic answers, like “make sure he knows that you are there for him.”

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  How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Kiyui keeps telling the kid that we are here for him… but he’s never had anybody be there for him before… I don’t even think he knows what it means… he genuinely doesn’t understand the concept. We’ve tried explaining it to him… but we can’t seem to find a way for it to sink in… especially since the child does not seem to express his emotions… like… ever. We tell him to come to us if he’s ever upset… but he is so shut off from his emotions that I don’t think he’s even aware when he is upset… and if he is, he certainly doesn’t show it.

  Honestly, we’ve been travelling east for about two weeks and this is stressing me out so much. I’m struggling to sleep. He’s sleeping in the tent with Kiyui and I… but it isn’t like sleeping with Tadwick. Tadwick will strip off… put his head on the pillow and fall asleep within seconds, he'll roll all over the place, somehow end up upside down, occasionally waking up for a wee, but mostly he’s dead to the world. Alexi however… he lies on his back, with his hands by his side. He doesn’t move… he doesn’t make a noise… I can’t even hear him breathing… a couple of times he was so still and quiet that I had to check he wasn’t dead.

  He can somehow block out all noise from outside the tent, the wind, the rain, etc… but if Kiyui or I make a single noise, his eyes instantly open and he sits up to see if we need anything. How can you be a light sleeper for some noises but not respond at all to others? Needless to say, Kiyui and I have not been having any kind of sexy times with this kid nearby. In all honesty… given how stressed I am at the moment I doubt I could get it up even if we tried.

  Like… what the hell do we do with this kid? If we give him to some orphanage then some dodgy fucker will probably end up taking advantage of him somewhere down the line. I’m sure if we brought him back to the farm then he would be a good obedient little worker. But can we really impose another child on my mum? I know she has been very accommodating with Tadwick and she is treating him like the grandson that I can never provide her with. But another one will be too much… surely. But at the same time… what other option do we really have?

  I need to try and put this out of my head for now… we have almost reached old Uddin port and… what the fuck is going on in the town? It’s insanely busy… there are hundreds more people than there were last time.

  We made our way through the hordes to the port. Fortunately, we saw captain Vance and her ship at the far side of the dock. We headed over to her. Despite the fact that she was busy instructing her crew to load some supplies onto the ship, she still managed to see us approaching through the crowd.

  Vance: “Ah, Dwynfel, my little green friend. What brings you back here? Did you get lost?”

  Dwynfel: “We made it home, thanks. But we need to return to the Uddin Empire. We need to give something to Prince Svampe.”

  Vance: “Oh, I wouldn’t go back there if I were you. Whole place is overrun. Spent weeks evacuating as many citizens here as we could. We were never able to get to the castle though. Fuck knows if anybody is still alive in there, but I’m certainly not going to try and find out.”

  Agaroth: “Oh for fuck’s sake. We come all this way and the entire fucking place has gone tae shit. That’s just fuckin’ typical that is!”

  Vance: “And who would you be, strange angry man?”

  Agaroth: “Agaroth, pleased tae meet ya. Who’s that lassie over there?”

  Agaroth pointed to a woman who was stood at the end of the pier crying… she had a girl with her… the girl was stood at the absolute edge of the pier… stepping forwards and backwards with her hands in the air, in what was a rather strange rocking motion.

  Vance: “That’s Cathy, terrible business, husband’s missing, not seen him on any of the evacuation ships or during any of the supply runs.”

  Agaroth: “Right, well. Don’t leave wi’ out me”

  Agaroth walked off towards the end of the pier. He started talking to the woman… she flung her arms round him and her crying became more of an uncontrollable sob… what the hell did he say to her? Fuck’s sake.

  Vance: “Your party has somewhat changed since our last encounter. Wasn’t there a second lizardman? And a disturbing, tall woman in an odd mask? The child was different too. This one is a different race entirely, and clearly smaller, and actually wearing clothes. Loving the tiny butler outfit he’s wearing by the way. He’s adorable.”

  She turned to Alexi and gave him a large smile. He simply looked at her… with his usual emotionless expression.

  Vance: “Not much of a smiler, is he? Anyway, you have knights with you. Official ones too. You gone up in the world?”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… kind of…”

  Vance: “Excellent, that means you can pay me yourselves? Doubt you can rely on the prince to pay this time, what with his kingdom being totally fucked.”

  Phoenix: “I’ll be paying.”

  Vance: “Fantastic. Hop on then. We can discuss prices later, I trust you’ll be good for it. I’m only dropping you at the port, mind. I’m heading to Port Thalassic, trading whatever we can for food supplies to bring back here. More people than the farms can provide for at the moment. I’ll swing by the port to pick you up on my way back. I suggest you be ready when I get there though, because I’m not coming inland to get you, no chance. Anyway, onwards…”

  Dwynfel: “Hang on… you said the empire was overrun… with what?”

  Vance: “Survivors said massive spiders. So, I’d have my weapons ready if I were you.”

  She walked away to correct one of her sailors who was loading a crate incorrectly. I looked at Damecus… he looked concerned.

  Dwynfel: “Think those spiders survived the forest fire?”

  Damecus: “If they hid underground during the fire, then it is plausible. The only thing keeping them in check was Flora. With her gone they may have lashed out at the empire. In the absence of the forest, they would have needed a new food source.”

  Kiyui: “Umm, guys, mind if I sit this one out?”

  Dwynfel: “Huh?”

  Kiyui: “Well, I didn’t do too well with the whole… boat situation last time. I have absolutely no desire to travel by boat ever again. And somebody needs to look after Alexi. So, can me and Alexi stay here? We can help with the refugees and stuff, make ourselves useful.”

  Everybody looked at me as they waited for an answer. Why does everybody look at me? Damecus has effectively been our leader since we met him… I help out with strategies and stuff, but things are mostly down to him… and I have been fine with that.

  Maybe it’s because Kiyui’s my boyfriend… fuck, it still feels weird referring to him as that… Phoenix is glaring at me now…

  Phoenix: “If they come then he will simply have to babysit the child in a significantly more dangerous location.”

  Dwynfel: “Yes… good point… yes… definitely… that. We shouldn’t be gone long. I just hope Svampe is still alive.”

  Kiyui handed me Flora’s mask, kissed me, and hugged me farewell… and I am definitely not used to the public displays of affection. I am beyond happy that he feels comfortable showing me such affection in a public forum… but I’m just not used to it and I blush terribly.

  Sorry… sidetracked… anyway, the rest of us climbed aboard Vance’s ship and got ourselves comfortable. The three knights made themselves useful… assisting with the various ship’s duties. Which Vance was very grateful for.

  Agaroth jumped aboard just before we set off and proceeded to stay below deck… getting drunk… obviously.

  Phoenix took the opportunity to meditate… and Damecus… well… Damecus just keeps looking over the side of the boat… towards the empire… it is a lovely view… but I doubt very much that that is what he’s thinking about… I can’t tell if he’s sad… or angry… or both. It must be to do with that Alterius guy… neither Damecus nor Nomius were pleased to see him. I think I need to say something…

  Dwynfel: “Umm… Damecus… last time we were here… I know… umm… I know you had some issues… with… ya know… that white lizardman… and umm… we may come across him when we get over there… and umm… I think…”

  Damecus: “If I see him again, I will kill him.”

  Dwynfel: “Right… yes… okay… understood… and that is totally fine… but… umm… that may cause some difficulties later on… so umm… I guess… I just… umm…

  Damecus: “You want to know why.”

  Dwynfel: “Basically… yes.”