The journey back went pretty swimmingly really. We didn’t get attacked by anything or anyone… which is a first.

  Damecus has Alterius’ skull hanging from his belt… it is so polished that it almost shines. He is still smiling nearly all the time. Pretty sure I even caught him singing to Verity at one point… he doesn’t sing… it is nice to see him so happy… but at the same time, I find it unnerving.

  Oh… yeah… Agaroth talked Cathy into coming back to Kataravonia with Verity. Old Uddin port is overflowing with refugees. There aren’t enough jobs to go around, so moving to a larger town with fewer people makes sense.

  Travelling with Verity has not been smooth sailing however. She seems to get very upset out of nowhere, I’m not sure what causes it… but she suddenly starts crying… like really extreme crying… but she doesn’t make a sound… her face contorts and the tears flow… but no sound happens at all. It is odd… because most children make more noise than tears when they get upset… so I find the silent cry very unnerving.

  I have no idea what to do with her when she gets upset… I tried all the things that I do with Tadwick… give her a hug… tell her it’ll be alright and stuff… but it doesn’t seem to have any effect… I end up bitten and clawed.

  She seems to calm down better for Agaroth… she sits on his knee, he holds his hands out with his palms up, she places her hands on his hands and the two of them rock forwards and backwards together. Sometimes at quite a speed. Sometimes for hours at a time. And she isn’t a tiny little two-year-old… she’s eight… she has some force to her. How he hasn’t done his back in is beyond me. It does seem to calm her down though.

  Cathy says that it is because they have never left the Uddin Empire before. She says Verity does not handle change well, and this entire situation is new to her. Which makes sense, I suppose, as the trip went on, she got much more used to what was going on and the crying happened less and less. Now, if we could just get her not to randomly run off then things would be basically perfect.

  In other news… we swung by Purresia on the way back. The slavers haven’t returned, whatever damage had occurred has been repaired and things seem to have returned to normality there. Which is good. They also seem to be a bit more trusting towards non-felines now. We didn’t need to rely on Kiyui, Shu, and Shai to do all of the talking this time. They are still a bit weary, but at least they are willing to talk to us directly.

  It was almost evening by the time we got back to my mum’s. Agaroth, Cathy and Verity stayed on the cart with Phoenix and made their way straight to town. Agaroth said that it would probably take a while to get Cathy and Verity sorted, so he wanted to get a move on with it. Phoenix was just in a hurry to get back in time for Rosario’s birthday.

  The knights also made their way back to town. I imagine they are probably in a hurry to see their loved ones. They don’t normally travel so far from the city, so I imagine they will be eager to see their families again.

  The rest of us made our way inside… and now for the tricky bit…

  Dwynfel: “Hi mum… we’re home!”

  My mum came bursting out of her bedroom.

  Indira: “Dwyn, I’m so glad to see you!

  She rushed over to me, picked me up and gave me a huge cuddle… almost crushing me in the process. When she eventually put me down and I caught my breath, Tadwick ran in from outside and wrapped himself around me. Fuck, this child just keeps growing… he’s up to my eyes now… we’ve been gone just under two months and he’s grown this much… bloody hell.

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  Tadwick: “Yay! You’re back!”

  Dwynfel: “Glad to see you too, Tadwick.”

  He let go of me and dived towards Kiyui.

  Tadwick: “Kitty!”

  Kiyui bent his head forwards and kissed Tadwick’s head.

  Kiyui: “Hey Tadpole, have you been good while we’ve been away?

  Tadwick let go and nodded vigorously.

  Tadwick: “I’ve been learning how to milk the cows, and I went to market with Grandma, and Lucas has been giving me electwocution lessons, and….”

  Indira: “Elocution.”

  Tadwick: “Yeah, that.”

  Kiyui: “Wow, it certainly sounds like you’ve been busy.”

  Tadwick: “I have, I have…”

  Nomius emerged through the door and walked his way over to Tadwick… with his back bent so as to not bang hid head off the ceiling.

  Nomius: [Signing] Bath now… you smell… talk later…”

  Tadwick: “Urgh, fine.”

  Nomius has a point… the boy does stink of manure… working on a farm will do that to you. Tadwick went to walk to the bathroom but Kiyui stopped him.

  Kiyui: “Before you go, I’d like you to meet somebody.”

  Kiyui gestured towards Alexi, who was stood very prim and proper in his butler outfit to the side of us all.

  Kiyui: “This is Alexi. I have no doubt that he will be tired after the long journey. Could you show him to the bathroom and help him get all clean while we try to find him some clean clothes to wear, please?”

  Tadwick: “Yup, yup, yup!”

  Tadwick rushed over to Alexi and gave him a hug. Alexi looked confused. Tadwick started to lead him towards the bathroom.

  Tadwick: “Hi, I’m Tadwick. Don’t worry, I’ll look after you. Are you going to be here long? I’ve been here a couple of months. I love it here, there are loads of animals, the food is amazing and…”

  They disappeared into the bathroom. Indira looked at Nomius.

  Indira: “Nomius, my dear, could you pop upstairs, please? In one of the rooms is an old chest with some clothes from when Dwynfel was little. Something from there should fit the boy.”

  Nomius: [Signing] “Yes.”

  Nomius disappeared upstairs. My mum started heating the kettle over the fire before sitting down at the table.

  Indria: “I see your rescue went well. Perhaps now you can tell me exactly what you plan to do with this boy? And what is with that strange flower that you seem to have with you?”

  Dwynfel: “Well… you see… that’s the thing… we aren’t really sure.”

  My mum rolled her eyes.

  Indira: “Here we go again, just like your father.”

  Dwynfel: “What do you mean?”

  Indira: “Doing these big heroic acts, never thinking about what to do afterwards. The whole “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” approach. The amount of times your father said that. So go on then, first thing’s first, what’s with the huge flower?”

  Damecus: “It is a cocoon.”

  Indira: “Oh, well that explains everything.”

  Dwynfel: “The prince of the Uddin Empire is in it.”

  My mother put her face in her hands with a look of despair. Suddenly Tadwick came bursting out of the bathroom… completely naked and incredibly excited about something.

  Tadwick: “Grandma… Grandma! Lexi… Lexi got a giny!”

  Indira: “What?”

  Tadwick: “Lexi… the boy in there. He got a baginy! He got a willy too, only one ball, but he got a baginy. He’s covered in all these weird marks and stuff too… like, everywhere. He’s so cool, he's got all the things!”

  Indira: “That’s nice dear. But you’ve just left our guest standing naked in a cold bathroom. Could you go back and help him, please?”

  Tadwick: “Sowwy…”

  Tadwick rushed back to the bathroom. My mum looked back at us, laughing slightly to herself.

  Indira: “Hermaphrodite?”

  Kiyui: “Hermaphrodite.”

  Indira: “Fair enough, anyway…”

  The smile left her face. She looked as if she was charging herself up for the rest of the conversation. She looked at me again… this time with a look of general exhaustion.

  Indira: “Now… could you please tell me what the prince of the Uddin Empire is doing in a cocoon in my kitchen?”