After the speeches, was the next course… and fuck me, it was over the top. The centrepiece was two swans that had their necks shaped to form a heart. Surrounded by a circle of roasted peacocks which had had their tailfeathers reinserted for presentation purposes. It looks spectacular… but it does seem like a lot of unnecessary effort for something that is simply going to be eaten.

  While the servants were cutting various slices of meat from the elaborate display and distributing it around the room, Chlamydia came over to our table. She tapped Damecus on the shoulder and presented her hand for him to shake. Damecus looked back at her, slightly confused.

  Chlamydia: “Greetings Damecus. I don’t believe we have met yet. I am the lady Chlamydia Vermillion.”

  Damecus smiled. A look of realisation flooded his face and he grasped her hand to shake it. I could tell that he was being purposely gentle with his grip.

  Damecus: “Greetings, Lady Vermillion.”

  Chlamydia: “I was just wondering if you had had a chance to consider my offer?”

  Oh gods… please tell me this isn’t another rich woman with weird sexual proclivities.

  Damecus: “Your offer is certainly of interest to me. Agaroth filled me in on all of the details… apart from when exactly you wish me to start?”

  Chlamydia: “That is good news. Mister Tinthalin told me that your knowledge of plant life is extraordinary. I have no doubt that we shall make some fantastic progress together. As for when you can start. As soon as possible. I would say tomorrow, but I fear I may be in no fit state in the morning. Mayhaps the day after?”

  Thank fuck for that… its botany related.

  Damecus: “In that case we shall start the day after tomorrow. I look forward to having such a project, Lady Vermillion.”

  Chlamydia: “Excellent. I shall look forward to it. And if we are going to be working together, then please, do call me Chlamydia.”

  She turned to the rest of us.

  Chlamydia: “Lovely to see you all again. And don’t you young lads look handsome. We shall have to have a dance later.”

  And with that, she sauntered off to another table and started chatting with some other guests that I did not recognise.

  Kiyui: “This sounds interesting Damecus. What’s going on?”

  Damecus: “She wishes to research the application of plant life for the purposes of curing and preventing various illnesses, diseases, and conditions. She owns a large botanical garden in the noble quarter. She wishes for me to take over the running of the garden and assist in the research.”

  Dwynfel: “That does sound like the perfect job for you. My only question is… what does Agaroth have to do with this? This isn’t exactly his area.”

  Damecus: The head of the garden and his family are provided with accommodation within the garden itself. Quite a reasonably sized accommodation, apparently.”

  Kiyui: “Does this mean you and Nomius will be leaving the farm?”

  Tadwick’s ears suddenly pricked up and he looked genuinely upset at that suggestion. Damecus looked at Tadwick.

  Damecus: “Fear not, little one. Nomius would not leave you, even if I asked him to.”

  Tadwick sighed with relief.

  Damecus: “Agaroth has been struggling to find a job for Cathy that she is able to do whilst keeping Verity safe. The only jobs going at the moment are the new farm jobs being created at Fort Bracken. Which she would not be able to do on her own. Agaroth has arranged for them to live with me in my new accommodation within the garden as my… family. Cathy will assist me with the garden’s upkeep and Verity will be safe within the garden as it is enclosed and contains naught that could do her harm.”

  Wow… he did say he was going to be busy sorting Cathy out… but I certainly didn’t expect him to arrange something like this. I thought he’d put them up at his house or something… does Agaroth even have a house? I’ve never actually seen him go home… he normally just heads to Madame Laurent’s.

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  Dwynfel: “Is Cathy aware of this plan?”

  Damecus: “I would assume so. It would be rather questionable of Agaroth to arrange all of this without consulting her.”

  Dwynfel: “Yeah… probably best to check that… I definitely wouldn’t put it past Agaroth to forget to inform her of any of this.”

  Kiyui: “Oh come now, Dwyn. I’m sure Cathy will be totally fine with it.”

  Urgh… sometimes I think he misses my point on purpose.

  Dwynfel: “Not a lot of women would want to play happy families with a lizardman.”

  Kiyui: “Cathy knows Damecus, as does Verity. It isn’t like he’s a stranger. Cathy will do anything to keep Verity safe. They are just sharing a house. You make it sounds like she is being sold into slavery.”

  Dwynfel: “I never said that.”

  Kiyui: “I know you didn’t, but you are acting like that’s the case. She gets on with Damecus, she’ll be fine. Plus, it means there will be somebody to keep Damecus company in his big house.”

  Damecus: “I would be comfortable with solitude.”

  Kiyui: “You are a terrible liar, Damecus. I know full well that you enjoy having people around.”

  Damecus gave Kiyui a disapproving glare. But he was soon placated when one of the servants placed a plate full of meat in front of him. The table fell relatively silent as everyone tucked into the swan and peacock course.

  I have never had either of these meats before… the swan meat is particularly succulent. It tastes kind of like duck. We got more peacock meat than swan… since obviously there were only two swans cooked for the entire room. The peacock was reasonable… its taste lies somewhere in-between chicken and turkey. I often find turkey to be quite dry, but this has held its moisture well. Whether that is due to the fact that it is peacock or due to the work of the chef, I don’t know, but I enjoyed it either way.

  After the main course, the bards emerged again to sing more romantic songs until the desert was ready. Which was custard tart topped with pears cooked in red wine. Tadwick didn’t like the pears… probably because of the wine… he normally loves pears. Alexi keeps trying to clear away the plates when everyone is finished, bless him. We keep telling him to leave them, that he is not only a guest, but a child, and doesn’t need to. I feel bad because he’s just trying to be helpful. I just wish he would behave more like… well… you know… a child.

  After we had finished the deserts, the servants started clearing away the large table from the centre of the room. The one where the elaborate swan display had been. As they were doing that, Smutisha swooped over to our table.

  Smutisha: “Hello, darlings. Thank you all for coming. Really, it means the world to me. Sorry that I couldn’t pop by sooner. Unfortunately, I need to visit people in a particular order to avoid offence… politics and all that, you know how it is. Rosario darling, looking forward to your birthday? Soon, isn’t it?”

  Rosario: “It is next week. I believe that you are invited to the festivities.”

  Smutisha: “Don’t you worry, darling. I won’t miss it. And thank you again for your wedding present. I’m sure that will come in very handy. Did everybody enjoy the food?”

  Tadwick: “The pears were yucky!”

  Kiyui: “Tadwick, focus on something you liked, please.”

  Tadwick: “The boar was yummy.”

  Smutisha: “Glad to hear that. Don’t blame you for the pears. That vintage of wine is a tad bitter. I hope to see you all on the dancefloor later. I have yet to see your dance moves, Dwynfel. I believe you refrained the last time.”

  Dwynfel: “Dancing is not a skill that I possess.”

  Smutisha: “You’ll be fine, darling. You’re a rogue aren’t you, nimble feet come with the territory. Anyway, I’d best be off…”

  She turned and started waving at one of the other tables before saying something to us through gritted teeth.

  Smutisha: “I have already upset Gentle by visiting your table before hers. I had best go and smooth things over.”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… Lady Smythe… before you go…”

  She turned round and bent down next to me… getting uncomfortably close to my face.

  Smutisha: “Yes, darling?”

  Dwynfel: “Tonight… during the whole… ceremony thing… I think you may wish to be gentle with Thomas… I think he is rather nervous about the whole thing.”

  Smutisha: “Oh don’t worry, darling. I’ll be as timid as a mouse tonight. We have an audience after all. The real fun starts tomorrow when the prying eyes are gone. Ta-tah.”

  And with that she swung round and bounced off to Gentle’s table. I looked over at Thomas, who was still sat at the top table. He doesn’t seem to be aware that he is allowed to move from his seat. He still looks terribly nervous, despite his rather well-done speech. I hope his nerves steady themselves before tonight.