That’s… that’s awful. What do I say to that? What on earth do I say to that? I want to say something… I need to say something… I need to comfort him… somehow… I need to comfort him. But how? There are literally no words, that I can think of, that will in any way suffice. I can’t… I can’t fix this. Words aren’t enough… words will never be enough.

  I reached out to him with my hand… and simply held his hand. I didn’t speak. Nothing I could say would help… I just needed him to know that I was there. He gripped my hand back and slowly turned to look at me. There was such sadness in his eyes. Such pain. Telling me that had almost killed him inside… he looked as though he expected me to run… he expected me to abandon him. I could see that being there… simply still being there… meant the world to him.

  Kiyui slowly walked into the room. He had composed himself and you would never even know he had been crying. He walked across to the side of the bed and knelt down. He reached over and placed a hand on Svampe’s shoulder.

  Kiyui: “I’m sorry, Svampe. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I… I love you… and the thought of losing you… it made me lose my head a bit. I heard the end of what you said to Dwyn. I won’t ask you to go through all of that again. I can see how much it hurts for you to talk about. But I need you to hear me when I say this…”

  Svampe turned to look at Kiyui. His eyes glistening from the tears. Kiyui looked him straight in the eyes.

  Kiyui: “What happened… was not your fault.”

  Svampe: “Yes it was… if I had just let him run… if I had let him leave… he could have warned the castle… he could have got out… he could still be alive.”

  Kiyui: “It… was… not… your… fault.”

  Svampe: “It was me! I didn’t let him leave! I smashed his head in! Me!”

  Svampe fell to pieces. The tears began to stream down his face… he was just screaming “Me!” over and over again. Kiyui pulled Svampe’s head to his chest and started stroking his head.

  Kiyui: “It wasn’t your fault. You were infected with a parasite. From the second that transformation started, nothing that happened was your fault.”

  Agaroth: “He’s right, kid. You’re tae blame for absolutely fuck all.”

  I turned to see Agaroth stood in the doorway. They must have went to come back in at some point during Svampe’s story and waited outside until he finished. Even Agaroth looked perturbed by what he heard.

  I’m not sure how long the four of us stayed in that room. It was my mum entering the kitchen downstairs and shouting up to ask if any of us wanted some tea that eventually caused us to move.

  Agaroth and I went downstairs to fill my mum in. Kiyui then brought Svampe down and we all had a long talk about how to move forward. We are all well aware that we cannot watch him every second of every day for the rest of his life. So, we proposed that when the feelings get that intense again, he will seek one of us out. He doesn’t need to talk to us about it if he doesn’t want to. But if he requests that we spend time with him… then we will… no matter what else is happening. Svampe agreed.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  Kiyui had another suggestion that Svampe has also agreed to… and that is that he will start going out with us to town. Kiyui wants him to see the beauty of the world… to see that there are other people out there… people that won’t fear him… people that could grow to be his friends. He wants to show Svampe that he is not alone and that his world is not as small as he thinks.

  I think it is a lovely idea and a beautiful sentiment. But I think it is something that we will need to do slowly. I know that he looks predominantly human. The scars are unsettling enough… but the tendrils and flower will likely unnerve a lot of people. Especially if we bump into anybody like Asmodeus. The people are certainly more tolerant than they used to be. Nobody bats an eye at me, Damecus, Nomius, or the Bracken now. But they have had four years to get used to us.

  Add to that, the fact that Svampe has not left the farm in four years. I know that he used to be an avid explorer when he was a child… but for four years he has been so terrified of people seeing him that he hasn’t even considered leaving the farm. It took months just to get him to leave his bedroom. I know that he agreed to Kiyui’s plan. Which is a good sign. But I can’t help but worry.

  What if he gets to town and has some kind of anxiety attack? What if we get there and somebody runs from him screaming. What if some insane twat like Asmodeus shows up and starts accusing him of being a “vile creature” and attempts to attack him or something? What if being around that many people simply overwhelms him? There are so many what ifs that it makes me feel anxious. What if this whole thing backfires and he ends up even more depressed?

  I know we need to do something. We need to try to get him to be more open to the world around him. We need to try to get him to find positives in this life for him to focus on. I know this… but I just worry that this may be pushing him too hard.

  After Svampe went outside to help Nomius and the boys mend a fence, I did express these concerns. Kiyui and my mum both shared my concerns but came to the conclusion that it was the best option available to us. If it shows any signs of making him worse, then we stop it immediately and have a rethink.

  Agaroth… being characteristically crass said he just needs to get laid… apparently that will distract his mind and give him something to live for. He was so sincere when Svampe was with us… now… I genuinely can’t tell if he is joking or not. It may have been an attempt to lighten the mood. But Kiyui took it seriously and was trying to think about which of his prostitute friends would be a good choice.

  Fortunately, the matter was dropped when I asked if there were any jobs that he could help with at our vegetable stall. Maybe giving him a job will make a better distraction. Especially if it is a job that will cause him to interact with people. Maybe he could be in charge of the lockbox with the money in? Or helping people pack their vegetables or something. I don’t know… I guess this is something that we are going to need to work out as we go along.