Play “Your Song" by Ren Crieve

  

  PEYDRAN

  “Your Song"

  I’ll be a song

  A song so beautiful

  you weep.

  From every teardrop

  something new is born.

  Will I be a song?

  And stay with you?

  A breeze,

  The hum of bees,

  The morning bird?

  I’ll be a song.

  And kiss your skin.

  And fill you.

  And flow with you.

  For always.

  I’ll be a song

  A song so beautiful

  you weep.

  From every teardrop

  something new is born.

  I’ll be a song.

  I am your song.

  Collected Unpublished Lyrics

  - Sibsil Creed, Stories of Shurwinn, (2859)

  “Ren, do you want our first kiss to be in my porter?”

  He chuckled throatily against my neck. “I’m thinking about it."

  We were on our way to Centre Oasis, and we still had forty minutes left of the trip. Whose great idea had it been to find a secluded cabin in the woods? Mine. Brilliant.

  Ren’s right hand was on my left thigh, and his left hand was around my neck, holding me to him like he was a suckling vampire, thumb slowly tracing my skin, softly humming. He was working his way from my collar bone up the left side of my neck, kissing skin, and lapping at it with his tongue.

  It was obscene, and I was about to explode all over the porter.

  My right hand was on his right thigh, just resting there, but my metal hand wrapped around the back of his head, cradling him against me.

  If he didn’t quit, we would either have to stop right there and finish it, or we’d keep going and break the laws prohibiting sex in moving porters. We were supposed to at least attempt to be ready for manual flight in case the autonav went down.

  Ren backed away, and I let him. “Yeah, let’s not do this like kids sneaking off in the parent’s porter for a secret snog. Surely, we can make it another thirty minutes. I know it’s been eight years that you’ve been dying to get me in your bed, but you’ll have to wait. I’ll make it worth the wait. I’m gonna live up to every fantasy you’ve ever had about me, Peydran Madrano.”

  My whole being rocked with laughter. “Sands, Ren. You’ve already made my every fantasy seem like a ridiculous mockery of the real thing. Alright, alright. So, first kiss? Where’s it gonna be?”

  We had to talk about something, focus on something, or we’d never make it to the cabin. I floated my pad in front of us, and looked at the rental.

  “I’m liking the front porch. That's romantic, right? It's gotta be better than porter snogging. We can remember it that way when we’re old and grey.” He said it lyrically like it was a song he’d sing for years to come.

  My heart melted. All of me melted. “Front porch, then, Ren. What song are you hearing right now?”

  Patting a quick rhythm against his chest with the palms of his hands, Ren began to sing, “Bam, bah, bah." There were no words exactly, but his face was alight with laughter, and the song was jolly like something you’d dance to in a pub.

  It was a song of happy times and even happier late nights. And before I knew it, we were on the front porch of the cabin.

  Ren was taller than me by two inches and wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands against my bare back. My arms were around his shoulders, metal hand on the back of his head, human hand on the back of his neck as I paused, smiling, just a breath away from his lips.

  He smiled back and closed his mouth over mine. It was just like the porter, only his tongue lapped my upper lip, stroking it, then sucking it and stoking me into an inferno. The kiss deepened and deepened, tongues sliding against tongues, and Ren pulled back, “Peydran, door.”

  Then we were inside; the door closed on the rest of the world. Ren pushed my back against the door and smashed into me with all of himself. It was lips and beard and hands everywhere; madness, passion, lust and longing.

  I held him against me, and he pushed harder. I wondered if we should undress or go to the bedroom.

  He must’ve felt me pause because he started to pull back, but I pulled him to me me. “Pey’o, you okay like this?”

  I kissed him in reply, and he didn’t stop again. It didn’t take much, him pushing me up against the door. I held him to me, and we both broke. And it was relief, and it was joy, and it was—

  Blue light shot through my brain in an ecstasy so intense I’d never felt anything like it. But that was interrupted by terror.

  The relay? Had it exploded? I was holding Ren! Dear gods, Ren’s head was in my augment, and he was gasping.

  I let go my metal hand, but I couldn’t see. My eyes filled with blue light. I lifted my left shoulder, and put my metal hand to my own head, testing it.

  Yes, it worked. I could feel it on my own head. I blinked, trying to clear my eyes.

  “Peydran! What is this? All these colors! The colors, Pey’o,” Ren gasped.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  “Ren, I thought the relay in my brain exploded. But everything’s working fine. Is always what it’s like being with you?”

  He let out a delighted laugh, “What? Peydran, I don’t even know what this is. I mean, this is music beyond. So far beyond. No sound like this exists in the Cosmos!”

  And it was part song and part laughter and all pure joy. I buried my face in his hair and breathed in the moment.

  "Let’s go get in bed, Pey’o."

  I kissed him in reply. Down his cheek, over to his mouth. I didn’t want to stop, and neither did he. When we were both ready, we moved to the bed.

  We took our time. Metal on naked skin. I wasn’t afraid with Ren. And he wasn’t nervous about my augment.

  Our clothes came off. There was skin on skin. It wasn’t ferocious and desperate. It was tender, and something deeper awoke within me. Something beyond passion. Something I’d felt before and had hoped I’d never feel again.

  We were naked, and both hard, and I was on top of Ren, kissing his mouth with gentleness as his fingers traced lightly up my back.

  Longing, deep longing filled all of my being. Then I groaned, and it wasn’t the good kind; it was years of loneliness, all coming out at once.

  I pressed my face into Ren’s neck, and he held me. His left hand was against my neck, holding my head to him as his right fingers pressed into my spine at my waistline.

  Ren started singing, “I'll be a song. . ."

  He held me, and my inner guts held onto his song and the feeling of his fingers on my spine. I let all of the anguish out— every single drop. There weren’t tears; it was just old loneliness that wanted to come up and out and be washed away for good.

  Ren pushed me back on the bed and sat up, cross-legged with his knees at my ribcage and hip. He kept singing with his eyes closed. His left hand covered my heart; his right rested on my belly button.

  The song continued.

  Something more than sex was happening. I didn’t fully understand it, but I knew this about Ren: he'd said he wasn’t good at people, but he was good at me. I wanted to keep him, so I listened to him.

  I'd told him to be himself, and he was doing exactly that. So I closed my eyes, and I listened to Ren’s song.

  I let it fill me, with his hand on my heart and his hand on my belly. His voice was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard; so pretty it could melt stone and reshape it into starlight.

  I started feeling the notes, to sense them with all of my being. Ren filled me with his song, and I wanted to truly understand this man who seemed like a miracle.

  Ren heard a song from somewhere that I couldn’t go, and he shared it with me alone. I had sensory awareness now that was beyond human, and I used it to connect to my Ahtah, my only one.

  I focused on Ren’s hands on my body, and I felt the thrum of his voice within me. And I remembered a single word. The one that that had changed everything:

  “Open.”

  I imagined the most open thing I could think of. Me splayed out before him with my legs wide and my arms wide. “Open. I open to you, Ren,” I thought. My right arm was around his body, and my left hand covered his at my heart, but with my whole being I focused on opening to Ren.

  Then I felt it, oh! I felt it! His voice started filling my pelvis. And the tune changed; his melody rose.

  I could feel Ren's happiness overflowing, and his song went up my belly and through my heart and out my throat. Then he was on top of me, kissing me, moving against me.

  My eyes opened, and I looked up at him. Both of us were filled with wonder as ecstasy soared again. We paused there for a second, taking in the rapture on each other’s faces. Then Ren moved against me, and we both broke.

  And it was blue light again—no! Dear sun! It was pink and purple and green and gold. It was sunlight, moonlight, starlight and auroras. It was supernovas and every good thing beyond the Cosmos.

  I couldn’t see; I could only gasp.

  “Peydran! Peydran! So beautiful! It’s the Cosmos!”

  “It’s you, Ren! It’s you! I feel you! You’re in my body, and in my mind! I see your lights, all the colors! It’s your song!”

  “No, it’s you, Pey’o, it’s you! This is your song— no it’s us! It’s us, Peydran. This is our song!” And we laughed and laughed and joy rained down all around us.

  Ren stilled, and with his face against my neck, he fell asleep in my arms.

  I don’t know how long I held him, stroking his hair, his skin. Flesh on skin. Metal on skin. I just knew Ren was something special, and he was mine, and I was keeping him. And I would keep listening— to every note and every rhythm.

  For this was what had happened when I listened to Ren's song: I had opened, and he had poured himself into me. He had felt me, as I had I felt him.

  And for the first time in his life, Ren Crieve had felt understood.

  I'd do anything to make sure that kept happening. I couldn’t sense his mind or colors or songs while he was asleep, and I didn’t know how to do that again. But I’d be open, and I’d listen and see if I could.

  Ren’s breathing changed against my neck, gasping. He started kissing my skin again, but it was desperate.

  We were both hard, but Ren wasn’t okay. I could tell by the way he gasped and bit at my skin. Then he pushed his forehead into my neck, so I held him exactly as he had held me. Metal fingers pressing into the base of his spine, human fingers pressing at the base of his skull, holding him to me.

  He sobbed into my neck, tears wetting my skin.

  I didn’t know what was wrong, but I could guess. I had no songs to comfort him, but I had a voice. “Ren, I’m here, love. You can let go. I love you, Ren. You're mine now. You belong with me, and I'm yours. For always.”

  His breath came in gasps and slowly began to smooth and calm. I breathed in time with him.

  He lifted his head and looked into my eyes with raw vulnerability. Naked and exposed. I didn’t need to be anything other than who I already was to understand him. We were both spent; wrung out from a lifetime of loneliness.

  “I love you too, Peydran,” he said and kissed me, but he didn’t stop at my mouth. His touch turned from deep to lighter with a hint of a smile as he kissed his way down, over every tight muscle of my body.

  I was lean and toned like the blade that I had become, and he kissed every inch of me, every inch except those few that wanted it most. I felt him smiling against my right thigh.

  Then I was the one gasping for breath. Dear gods! Oh dear gods! His teeth scraped my cock, and I think I probably screamed. I’m not sure, I was so out of my mind. His mouth was over me; his tongue coaxing.

  I stopped him, my human hand at the back of his head, “No Ren, not alone. Not alone. Never alone again,” I rasped out.

  He understood, and whispered in my ear, “Wait for me."

  I nodded and focused on breathing, pulling myself back from the edge while Ren did something else. Then he pulled my human hand open and pushed it against the mattress.

  His thumb smoothed something silky over my palm and the scent of oranges filled the air. I smiled. Ren lubed my hand for me.

  “This one’s my favorite,” he whispered.

  “Oranges?” I asked.

  He nodded and took his time, kissing up my neck and massaging my palm with his thumb. Then he intertwined our fingers and rubbed our palms together.

  I groaned, “Fuck, Ren, that's good.’"

  He chuckled against my mouth, massaging his thumb into my palm. Hells, I wanted him to do that to my cock.

  I was about to tell him when he commanded, “Touch me, Pey’o.” I reached for him, running my thumb up his cleft just like he’d done to my palm, and he did the same to me. Groaning, we pushed into each other.

  “Look at me, Peydran.”

  I opened my eyes and saw pure joy on Ren’s face as we came undone together. There were blue lights for me that time. I don’t know what Ren saw. Probably the whole Cosmos again because he was laughing when he stilled against my neck.

  “Peydran, is it always like this with you? All these lights? What is this? Have you ever done this before?” Ren asked incredulously.

  I took a long, slow breath. “Ren, no. Not exactly like this. But Ryst is Talented, so things are a bit weird sometimes.”

  His head flew up. “What? Dr. Nova’s a seelee or something?”

  “Oh no, Ren, she’s sooooo much more than a seelee. And I want to tell you all about it, love. I need to tell you about Ryst in order to tell you about me.”

  I sat up, and he followed me, looking expectantly at my face.

  “Ryst has a lot of secrets, and I…”

  Fuck it. I hovered my pad over to us, pulled Ren in between my legs with his back to me and sent a video call to Ryst.