-Arc 1-

  Chapter 5

  “Reflections”

  *?*?*?*

  Seraphine had gifted Eris the mercy of not having to assist in making dinner. Rather, it was Eris who requested for a pardon. Seraphine wasn't pleased, but she could see the exhaustion on her. Aqua’s presence was also most likely a factor in convincing Seraphine.

  Seraphine: “Sorry I took a bit longer. I didn't have a second chef in the kitchen this time…”

  Seraphine glanced over at Eris not so subtly as she said that.

  Still, the table was filled with plates of widely different contents. Roasted meats, salads, fruits, breads and soup. Spreads of sauces and jams, and baked deserts.

  Of course, seeing the wide range of options single-handedly prepared by Seraphine, Eris had to wonder if her presence in the kitchen would have made a difference at all.

  Most dishes before her were unfamiliar. Of course she knew what meat, salad, fruit, bread and soup were. But the dishes themselves, their taste, and the experience of having them in front of her— they were not left in her by the author.

  Carlos: “Very good, very good, dear. Thank you for your hard work!”

  The Count, owner of the house and master of the servants, sitting at the far end of the table, spoke warmly to Seraphine, who was finally sitting down herself.

  Eris did find it a bit strange that Carlos, a man of his status, Lord of the manor and Count of a province, would eat together with his servants. Perhaps he felt lonely, as a single man. Or he wished to foster more community and closer bonds between master and servant.

  Carlos: “Of course, thank you all for your hard work today.”

  Carlos clasped his hands together, elbows on the long table. And while adjusting his black hair, he looked at Eris directly.

  Carlos: “Why don't we all share a toast for Eris? Celebrate her… first day on the job.”

  He winked at her. Eris felt her throat dry out, but still she smiled.

  Eris: “Oh, thank you… but I don't think I really deserve something like that.”

  Carlos: “Nonsense! It’s customary to give a toast when we receive a new guest, servant, or whomever…”

  Petra, who was sitting next to Eris, placed an encouraging hand on her shoulder. Giving a wordless smile, Eris nodded.

  It hadn't been long since Eris met Petra, but she could read what her green eyes were trying to say. As if to say “just let him do it and get it over with.”

  Eris: “Very well then…”

  With Eris's permission, Carlos raised his glass of white wine into the air. Following him, the girls also raised their glasses. Some of water, some of wine, some of juice or milk. Regardless, they came together, and with the brief resistance of hesitation, clinked together with the closet person’s drink.

  Carlos: “To Eris!”

  Everyone: “To Eris!”

  Having her name be hailed like so sent chilly goosebumps— and not good ones— up Eris’s skin.

  Eris refrained from saying “To Eris!” or “To me!” herself. Not only did she feel it would be poorly mannered, but in bad taste.

  She was not ‘Eris,’ and to celebrate Eris’s arrival would be to celebrate ‘Eris’s’ disappearance, would it not? To celebrate her presence, which caused pain to others, would be unkind.

  She remembered Aqua’s speech to her hours prior. Of course, she latched on to what she had said.

  Aqua: “... but we care about Eris too, so…”

  Even if that was true— even if the maids cared about her— and that may be the case— it seems that way, at least for Aqua and Petra to be so, that would not excuse Eris for annexing the life of ‘Eris.’

  Gazing up and down the table, Eris took in the faces of her comrades. The other maids’ faces were grim. Their glasses clinked without passion, and the dining hall was drenched in silence.

  To them, the toast for Eris was a funeral for 'Eris.’

  Then, without any further disruptions, Carlos reached for his silverware. Upon doing so, the maids did the same. Soon the dining table was turned into a free for all, everyone scrounging for their meal under a wave of forks and spoons.

  Eris, unprepared and unfamiliar with such darwinistic dining, was left behind. It wasn't to say she could not find anything to eat, but rather she was forced to have the remnants of dishes not already sliced or ripped off. Basically the parts which were hard to eat or not as palatable. The end pieces of bread— the fatty pieces of steak— the skinny pieces of turkey leg.

  Looking down at her plate, she couldn't even feel disappointed. She knew that even if she had first pickings, her plate would look the same as it did now. She would not be able to take the best pieces for herself when the others, more deserving of them than her, were there.

  Still, Seraphine’s skill shines through. Even the end pieces of bread were warm and soft. A perfect balance between fluff and firmness.

  The fat parts of the steak melted in her mouth, oozing a series of exceptional flavors. Unknown flavors. Untasted flavors.

  The turkey, of what little meat was on the bone, was tender and juicy. The skin a perfect combination of spices.

  Her sides too, potatoes, and some sort of sweet and tangy pasta, were delectable.

  However, despite the flavors, Eris’s plate soon dwindled. By now, most of the food had been scrounged up from the neatly set table.

  Eris initially believed that dinner would be a bit of a problem before she sat down because she did not feel hungry.

  Even in her first meal, lunch, she had just eaten without putting much thought into it. She barely remembered the taste or texture. It wasn't out of hunger but out of obligation.

  However, after finally putting food in her mouth for the first time since lunch hours previously, she realized the true extent of her hunger.

  Only after finishing her plate, did she understand it.

  What had Aqua said? That she “had her breakfast in liquid form.” Eris figured that meant that during her period of unconsciousness which bridged the gap between ‘Eris’ and Eris, she was being fed on a liquid based diet. One which only an unconscious person, lacking the awareness to taste, could digest.

  For how long, she wasn't sure. But it made sense that it wasn't as filling as a true solid meal.

  Petra: “Eris, do you want some of mine?”

  Eris turned her gaze to Petra next to her. She had a meatball on her fork, dripping with some sort of white sauce.

  Of course, Eris’s mouth was watering. But she shook her head.

  Eris: “Oh, no. It’s okay—”

  Petra: “It’s okay, I’m full anyways!”

  Not allowing any more words of rebuttal, Petra pushed her fork towards Eris. She had no choice but to take what was pushed towards her. Biting off Petra’s fork, the warm meatball seemed to chew itself. The flavors coated her mouth. She delighted in the balanced tastes between the creamy, herbal sauce and natural meat.

  Aqua: “Eris, ya should try this! Sera makes it for me ‘cause it’s food from ma homeland. But’cha should get ta know my native cuisine!”

  Turning to face Aqua, who was on her other side, she immediately had something stuffed into her mouth. It was hot, a type of soup with long, soft noodles. It was almost sweet, with an intense savory seasoning that was reminiscent of a mild fruit.

  Having no choice but to savor the taste, something overcame her mouth. A tingling sensation. Heat as if she had placed magma into her mouth. It only grew hotter, seeping into her tongue and roof of her mouth.

  Forcing herself to swallow, the sensation from the noodles spread down her throat. Eris covered her mouth, her lips being assaulted by the same fire. She slammed her hand against the table, having no other way to express what was going on in her mouth at the moment.

  She looked to Aqua, her face beat red.

  Eris: “What is that?! Is it poisoned?”

  She choked out. Aqua let out a bright laugh.

  Aqua: “Oh, Whoops! Sorry ‘bout that! I forgot it’s ‘pposed to be spicy!”

  Even her saliva felt as if it was burning.

  She reached for her glass of water, but a hand moved out to stop her.

  Aqua: “Woah, now. That’ll only make it worse!”

  Eris: “Huh?!”

  Petra: “Try this.”

  Eris was forced to drink a glass of milk. The coolness soothed the flames, but even the aid of milk did not fully extinguish the tingling heat.

  Eris: “What did you feed me?!”

  She panted out, wiping her mouth of both milk and the white-hot tingling that lingered. Aqua let out another giggle.

  Aqua: “I’m really sorry! Really, bless ya heart. I forgot it was spicy. I was just excited for ya ta try the food of my homeland.”

  Eris gathered her breath, taking a sip of water despite the warnings. It did sooth her for a moment, but immediately the burn returned once more.

  Eris: “It’s… okay… I just didn't expect it…”

  Aqua pushed her blue hair over her shoulder bashfully.

  Petra: “I guess amnesia can't change your taste buds, huh?”

  Petra spoke friendly words, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. Eris knew Petra wasn't trying to hint at anything, but even so—

  Eris: “What do you mean?”

  Petra: “You’ve never liked spicy food.”

  Aqua shot Petra a glare, causing the latter to tilt her head in confusion.

  “——”

  —*—

  The dining hall was full of plates clattering and the clink of silverware. The maids were tidying up, with the exception of Seraphine, who gets a pardon for cleaning dinner since she cooked it. Eris, with a stack of empty dishes in her hand, rocked her arm back and forth in an attempt to keep the tower’s balance.

  Aíma, a girl significantly shorter than Eris, her hands empty, appeared before her. Wordlessly, she stood on the tips of her toes and as with the emotion of a stone wall, took the stack of dishes from Eris’s straining hands.

  Eris: “W-Wai—”

  Carlos: “Ah, my dear Eris!”

  Eris: “Huh?”

  Eris spun around, witnessing the vogue Count standing beside her. His violet cloak over him, he appeared like he was a shadow himself. Eris cocked her head to make eye-contact with the slender man.

  Now fully comprehending the origin of the voice, Eris realized that her curt ‘Huh?’ was an undisciplined expression to utter before her employer.

  Eris: “My apologies, Master Carlos!”

  Attempting to correct her mistake, she lowered herself into a bow. Her gaze to the polished floor, Eris only heard a bright laugh.

  Carlos: “Apologizing for what, dear Eris? Please, raise your head.”

  Eris obeyed, returning her posture and looking up at Carlos into his black eyes. Eris stumbled over her words. It wasn't as if she was particularly nervous or intimidated by this man, but rather she had no idea of what was expected of her in this interaction.

  Mercifully, Carlos took the burden of controlling the conversation.

  Carlos: “Well, anyways-anyways… My dear Eris, how was your first day in my manor?”

  Eris: “It was c—”

  Carlos interrupted her with an outstretched, gloved hand.

  Carlos: “Actually, don't spoil me. I’d like to hear it from you in private, if you wouldn't mind?”

  Eris’s breath disappeared from her throat as if the oxygen was dissolved mid-breath.

  Eris: “In- private?”

  She choked out, using a brief breath to supply her lungs with the bare minimum amount of air needed to speak.

  Carlos: “I realize now that that may have not come across how I intended! Haha~!”

  Eris blinked at him.

  Carlos: “Well, I would just like to have a little chat with you without the worry of your comrade’s scrupulations.”

  Eris’s hands brushed over the poofy skirt of her uniform. The word ‘scrupulations’ was not in the dictionary provided to her.

  Eris: “That’s… alright, I suppose.”

  Carlos clasped his gloved hands together.

  Carlos: “Splendid! Why don't you prepare us some tea? I’m sure one of the girls will be happy to take you to my office when you’re finished.”

  Though Eris previously made the observation that she was not afraid of Carlos, she began to reconsider that thought.

  If not afraid, then certainly unsettled by him.

  Eris: “I’ll do that. Thank you, master Carlos.”

  As Carlos parted, Eris gave him a smile. It wasn't a smile that came easy, and she had to force her lips to obey.

  Eris glanced about the dining hall for someone to assist her. It was far calmer than when the clean-up initially began.

  Having to be assisted for everything— making tea, navigation, learning to clean and cook, left a bad taste in Eris's mouth.

  For a moment, Eris’s mind wandered to the thought of; “I wish I had ‘Eris’s’ skills.” But she physically shook her head to remove that thought from her. If she had her skills, then what would she be good for? If she had nothing to learn, nothing to experience, then why would she need to be at all?

  Aqua: “In my opinion, if ya’re gonna do somethin’, you should putcha all innit. It’s fine if ya use magic, but I think it should be on somethin’ that really earns the use of it.”

  Aqua’s words to her during lunch time played in her head. While pondering this, she caught the glances of Caelia, who was staring at her. Not only her, but next to Seraphine by the kitchen island, Aqua was watching as well.

  She decided to ask Petra to help her navigate to Carlos’s office, and Seraphine for tea.

  —*—

  Petra gave Eris an apprehensive glance as she led her to Carlos’s office. The hall was familiar. After all, it was the same one that had been taken down earlier. She remembered the walls, but not her way around.

  Eris was holding a tray of tea, which Seraphine helped her prepare. ‘Manatree leaves,’ apparently, was the type. Apparently also ‘Eris's' signature.

  Petra: “I’m not really sure what Master Carlos wants to speak with you about, but whatever it is I’m sure you’ll handle it well.”

  Eris: “Handle it well?”

  It was obvious that Petra assumed whatever conversation Eris and Carlos were soon to have was not going to be a positive one.

  Thinking back on it, Caelia must have some reason to be so vehement in her questioning of Eris. And whatever reason Aqua had to question her as well must be somewhat meritorious.

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  Taking those two in consideration, Eris pondered the idea of the conversation being negative.

  Petra: “Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

  Still, Petra’s emerald eyes were one of unease as she stopped in front of a door. Eris of course recognized it as the door of Carlos’s office.

  Eris: “I’m sure too…”

  Eris said that to reassure Petra. In reality, whether she was ‘sure’ was not really a consideration. She had no negative expectations of the impending conversation, but the positive ones were also snuffed out. She knew her unease about Carlos’s behavior itself was, so far, unfounded. So logically she had no reason to fear him.

  As such, she did not have anxiety about the contents of their discussion, but rather the social interaction that came with it.

  Of that, she wasn't so sure.

  Petra gave a smile to Eris, to which she reciprocated. Then, Petra opened the door for her.

  Inside the office, it was still cold and dimly lit as it was in the morning.

  Eris: “Master Carlos?”

  Eris let out a tentative voice as the door shut behind her. The light from the hall was gone, and now only the faint candles illuminated the room.

  Sitting in the center of the room, surrounded by the strange odds and ends, was a dark figure with his hands clasped.

  Carlos: “Ah, dear Eris. There you are. Please, sit.”

  Carlos’s silhouette pointed to a chair opposite him.

  Eris obliged, stepping cautiously through the darkness. With all the trinkets on the shelves, she feared tripping over something unseen on the floor.

  As she took the seat gestured too, she laid the warm tray of tea in her lap.

  “——”

  Eris: “Ah— would you like me to pour you some tea?”

  Carlos: “Why don't I get it for us?”

  Eris: “Huh?”

  Carlos’s gloved finger extended towards an unlit candle, and wordlessly, a small golden flame ignited the wick.

  The orange flame had illuminated the entire desk, but the room beyond that was still shrouded in dusk.

  The curtains were drawn as well, so that the vermillion light of the real dusk was quarantined off from the cold room.

  Carlos extended out his hands, which had just produced flame, towards the tray on Eris’s lap.

  Eris heeded his request, passing it over to him. Though, it was awkward to watch her employer pour tea for his servant instead of the opposite way around.

  With a steaming cup placed before her, and a likewise steaming cup before himself, Carlos placed his thin elbows against the table, interlocking his fingers.

  Carlos: “In trepidation of creating tension, I’d like to ask…”

  Eris watched with a blank expression.

  Carlos: “How was your first day really?— And of course, there is no worry about disappointing your comrades or upsetting me. I truly am eager to hear your experience.”

  Carlos brought the steaming cup to his lips, and while he sipped, Eris contemplated her answer.

  In trepidation of creating tension herself, Eris had to make her pondering quick.

  She hadn't had anything else to compare her first day with, so to call it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ would be unfair categorization.

  She hadn't, up until this point, truly considered what she thought about her first day. She had considered her own actions in relation to the maids, and how they were affected by her amnesia.

  But she hadn't considered her own opinion in the big picture yet.

  Eris: “I suppose it was… stressful… But, I think it was necessary. After all, I learned a lot. I’m glad to have made friends… Petra and Aqua are very kind. I’d like to mend things with Seraphine if I can, and of course get to know the others as well…”

  Carlos: “Uhahaha, I see~! Yes, that is an answer that suits you well, dear Eris.”

  Eris nodded in response, giving a slight smile. Though mustering any more than that was hard. Faking crucial emotions like a smile was not right.

  Carlos unlocks his fingers and leans back in his chair. Taking another sip of his tea, he crosses his long legs. All while holding a grin along his thin lips.

  Carlos: “My next question is one I’m sure you’ve been asked multiple times over the course of the day. I’m sure it’s also one that is not easy to answer, so if you wish to abstain from responding, that is fine… However, do not worry~ for I am not asking not out of loss and expectations but rather for curiosity. So don't concern yourself with putting it on me easy for platitudes.”

  Eris already knew what Carlos wanted to ask as he mouthed the beginning of the first sentence. His long winded and overly verbose disclaimer was, though slightly comforting, quite unnecessary.

  For whatever reason, compared to the maids, Eris was far less concerned with hurting Carlos’s feelings than theirs.

  Carlos: “What do you remember, if anything? Of course, we discussed this in the great hall this morning. But here you are free of expectations and pressure.”

  Eris: “Aside from everything after waking up this morning, I remember nothing.”

  Carlos, still holding his grin, held himself unchanged as if a smug statue.

  Carlos: “Nothing?”

  Eris: “Absolutely nothing.”

  She said that without hesitation.

  The Maids of

  Count Schwartzhardt's Manor

  Carlos nodded, again, his grin unchanging.

  Carlos: “I was initially planning on asking you if you still intended to stay here after working here for a day, however…”

  “——”

  Carlos: “After hearing the way you spoke of the girls, I’m sure of your answer.”

  Eris: “Yes, I’d still like to stay.”

  Carlos: “Yes, that is what I'd like too. You are needed here, after all, dear Eris.”

  Eris’s breath paused, and she had to force herself to keep breathing.

  Eris: “Needed here?”

  Carlos: “Why, yes~… the maids wouldn't be able to get on without you, dear Eris. Dear Seraphine especially.”

  Her thoughts naturally fell onto Seraphine. The image of her collapsed on her knees in tears was burned into her, and she couldn't picture her with another face.

  Eris bit her lip.

  Was it Eris they needed, or the shell of ‘Eris’ that she represented?

  She tried to resort to Aqua’s consoling words, however, they could not dissipate that overwhelming feeling.

  She gazed back up at Carlos’s candle lit face.

  Eris: “In that case, I have no choice but to reconcile with her, do I?”

  Carlos: “You’d do well to attempt it~. Though, I’m not sure what happened between you, already on the day of losing your memories.”

  Eris: “——”

  She hoped she would not have to answer that question. It didn't feel right to speak about something so personal with Carlos.

  Carlos: “Have you noticed anything about your comrades? I know it may seem a strange question~, but… well, to be honest, I am a bad employer. You see, though they live in my home and I eat with them and they do my laundry, I still don't know much about my servants~.”

  Eris: “...I see…”

  Thankfully, Carlos hadn’t pressed her about the Seraphine issue.

  But somehow, this next question was more concerning. If he hadn't provided that clarification, she wouldn't have thought anything of it.

  Eris: “Noticed anything? I’m not sure… Can you be a bit more specific?”

  Carlos: “Ah~ yes, my apologies, dear Eris. My question was a bit vague. I suppose I'm just trying to get to know my servants a bit better.”

  Eris glanced down at her tea, which was no longer sipping. She had forgotten to drink any of it. So she hastily did so.

  The tea was still warm, but no longer at a steaming temperature. She expected to love the flavor, since it was ‘Eris’s’ specialty, but she contrarily found it to be only ‘alright.’ It was neither delicious nor disgusting.

  Eris, wiping her mouth of the residual tea, looked up into Carlos’s candle-lit eyes.

  Eris: “Wouldn't it be best if you got to know them yourself?”

  She said that with a polite grace, but Carlos’s unchanging grin seemed to change. He never lost his smile, but she noticed an alternation in his facial muscles.

  Carlos relaxed his shoulders, nodding.

  Carlos: “Ah, perhaps you are right, dear Eris…”

  He broke up his sentence with a sip of his tea, which was still steaming.

  Carlos: “I’m sure you would know how difficult it can be to break the ice, though…”

  Eris was well acquainted with that struggle, but she kept it to herself.

  Carlos: “Oh well… Thank you, dear Eris… You have wisdom despite your years~.”

  Suddenly she was reminded of passing words by Eris. That Carlos was over four hundred years old. His face only looked about thirty.

  Carlos: “It’s as they say; survival of the fittest.’ Though putting it as survival here, when speaking on the topic of breaking the ice with your servants, is a bit extreme, isn't it? Uhaha~!”

  Eris: “I didn't mean it in a rude way… I just think it would be hard to get to know somebody second-handedly.”

  Carlos leaned forwards, nodding.

  Carlos: “Indeed~ it is.”

  “——”

  Carlos suddenly stood up, flapping his violet cloak. He placed his tea back onto the plate, and reached out to Eris’s own tea.

  She didn't move to stop him, though she found it a weird gesture.

  Carlos: “Your tea has gone cold. It is quite chilly~ in here isn’t it?”

  Eris: “It is… but, it’s fine…”

  Carlos: “No, no…”

  As Carlos held his gloved hand over the tea-cup, steam slowly began to curl out from it.

  Eris: “Ah.”

  A sterile realization came to Eris.

  Eris: “You have an orange rune as well, don't you?”

  Carlos, looking down at her with a wide grin— wider than she’s seen it before, nodded.

  Carlos: “Very good~. It’s true that I am considered one of the most splendid fire-casters of the nation.”

  Eris: “That is… not wholly unexpected, I suppose.”

  Carlos winked at her.

  Carlos: “Well, dear Eris, I’m sorry that I have to cut this short. Truly, I am… but I have something to consider. I need some alone time.”

  Eris raised an eyebrow automatically, and lowered it once she realized she had done so.

  She stood up from her chair, and Carlos placed the tea-cup and tray in her hands.

  Carlos: “Don't take it personally. It’s nothing~ about you! It is rather urgent, though.”

  Eris: “Of course, master Carlos.”

  Eris tried to bow, but risking knocking over her tray, she was forced to cut it awkwardly short.

  She was guided down to the doorway, and soon she had stepped out into the cream colored walls and scarlet carpet of the hallway.

  It felt much warmer in the hall, having adjusted to a frigid temperature in Carlos's office.

  She turned her gaze, her vision filling with vermillion.

  Seraphine: “Since you asked Petra for help getting here, I figured you’d need some help navigating back.”

  Seraphine’s voice was startling, despite Eris having seen her first.

  Eris: “That would be great, actually. Thank you, Seraphine.”

  —*—

  Seraphine: “What did he want to talk about?”

  Seraphine posed that question to Eris as she led her down the hall. The redhead walked alongside Eris at a slightly uncomfortable distance.

  It was just far enough for an unknowing bystander to be excused for thinking that they were complete strangers.

  Were they?

  Eris: “I guess he only wanted to ask about my first day here. He gave me the option of leaving again…”

  Seraphine: “And what did you say?”

  Eris: “Of course, I said I’d stay.”

  Seraphine: “Oh, good…”

  “——”

  Seraphine smiled in response, but her gaze was only held for a short period of time, and Eris could not read her.

  Eris: “He told me he wanted to get to know us better…”

  Seraphine raised her eyebrow towards Eris.

  Seraphine: “Get to know us?”

  Eris could only shrug in response. She had only repeated what Carlos had said, and with no way to peer into his true thoughts, she could not elaborate on his intentions more than that.

  Eris: “That’s what he said…”

  Seraphine shrugged as well. There was no other response that could be made for the maids. It was a bewildering statement from Carlos, which had no clear explanation.

  Seraphine: “Eris?”

  Eris’s breath hitched. The last time Seraphine began a sentence like that, it was scarred into her memory.

  The two of them stopped before the door of ‘Eris’s’ room, where her life had started.

  Eris: “Y-yes?”

  Seraphine: “How was your first day, really?”

  Eris released a sigh. It didn't appear as if Seraphine would break down here, so the major source of stress was gone.

  Of course, there was still the pressure of navigating the answer without hurting her.

  She had been asked that already, though previously with the explicit reminder that she was ‘under no pressure.’

  She thought she handled Carlos’s question well, but would it work for Seraphine as well?

  Eris: “It wasn’t easy, but I think it was really important. I’m glad I got to meet all of you… Well, get reintroduced, I should say.”

  Reintroduced. She chose that word for Seraphine’s sake.

  Seraphine: “I see… That’s good… that you enjoyed it. It's good to take your time.”

  Though ‘enjoyed’ wasn't the word she would have chosen, Eris was given the response of a friendly smile. She searched Seraphine’s face for a quivering lip or watering eyes, but found no evidence.

  Eris could reply with an unburdened smile as well.

  Seraphine: “Take your time… you’ll come back to us. I know you will...”

  Eris: “H-heh~?”

  —*—

  Eris had lost count of how long she stared at herself in that mirror. The crimson setting sun had dipped below the horizon and turned to black. Pale moonlight shimmered between the clouds onto the pristine manor grounds.

  And still Eris stared.

  In her time staring, she barely had considered anything but her reflection. By now, ‘Eris’s’ face was burned into her irises, and the blank face began to grow distorted and warped.

  She turned her back on the reflection.

  “Fables of Rigel” was the book she pulled from the shelf. She examined the hard leather cover. Ornately engraved with an intricate pattern, the golden embroidered letters spelled the title of the book.

  She traced her fingers over the calligraphy of them.

  The book was heavy in her hands, though that was only from the many pages and sturdy binding.

  It held no significance to her other than the energy she expended holding the book up with her palm, and with her finger to trace the letters.

  She slid the book back into its place on the shelf.

  Barry, stuffed gray the can't-sleep-without. Sown ears, lifeless eyes. She held the wool of its fur between her fingers.

  She could sleep without it, so she placed it back in its place.

  ‘Eris’s’ shelves were cluttered, but everything had a place. Calling it organized would perhaps be erroneous. However, every item and furniture fit like pieces of a puzzle.

  Every item— every book, every heirloom, trinket, and decoration. They all were alone. They sat there without an owner. Nobody cared for them. Eris could not force the burden of being that person for them. She felt heartless, but her heart was occupied with other things currently.

  Eris made a full circle around the room until she was making eye contact with ‘Eris’ again.

  Vibrant crimson eyes. Cascading, pure white hair like snow. A beautiful, well shaped face.

  She remembered asking that person in the reflection earlier; “who are you?”

  She still did not know, but now she was less curious. She was fearful of knowing.

  Aqua: “Well, ya can't blame ya-self for forgettin’. Ain'tcha fault. I c’n only imagine that to you it feels like ya just woke up this mornin’ for the first time to a big mess n’ people you just met actin’ like they know ya.”

  She can blame herself. It was easy to. It was right to. It was natural to. It was expected to. It was required to.

  If not herself, then who?

  It can’t be ‘Eris,’ as she had no choice in the matter of her death.

  Someone must take the blame.

  If not—

  Then the faces of grief, the tears shed, the words screamed, the despair felt…

  Would all go unconfirmed. That was not an option. She must be the one to confirm their grief. It was the one thing she could do.

  Petra: “I guess it really is Eris's true nature.”

  Perhaps it was her nature. Eris knew Petra was speaking of ‘Eris’ here, but two people can share traits. It can be in her nature, but even so, it doesn't change the fact that it had to be done.

  Petra: “You never change, Eris. —Well, maybe a little.”

  She hadn't changed. She hadn't been able to change Seraphine's tears to laughter. She hadn't been able to change Caelia's vicious grief into recovery. She hadn't been able to change Petra’s fake smiles into real ones.

  Aqua: “We care ‘bout ‘Eris’ a lot of course. We’re all sad she’s gone... but we care about Eris too, so…”

  Aqua was the only one that she felt she hadn't hurt. But even then, she owed her. Aqua had done so much for Eris over the span over a few hours. She had given her insight on an admirable work ethic. She had consoled her aching heart when hers was surely aching more.

  Yet, she tore apart her consoling and was spiralling in her reflections now.

  Caelia: “Don't hesitate. It makes you look guilty.”

  She was guilty. There wasn't a way she wasn't. She had to be. As the killer, she had to take the burden of the body, for nobody else needed to be burdened with it but her.

  Caelia: “Eris… you were so clever.”

  She was. The ‘Eris’ Caelia thinks she is talking to— was. Eris wasn’t clever. She had done nothing clever in the act of murdering the owner of the body she inhabits. She had chosen the wrong girl. Someone with attachments and people who were attached to her.

  She should have stayed unconfirmed.

  Caelia: “I don't believe you.”

  Caelia was the only rational one amongst them. Why should she believe a liar? A liar who lived in the skin of another and acted as if she was her. She was right to be angry. Why weren't they angry? They could be angry. They should be angry. They should hate her. They should hate her like she hates her.

  Eris replayed those memories in her head, reflecting on them in order, as she stared through that reflection.