Reed stood before advisor Salvat and could not believe his ears. Salvat sat in a chair, hands folded on the table, burning Reed with his gaze. Deep inside, Reed rejoiced. If he were an idiot, he could have killed Salvat right then. He had spent so much time waiting, trying to find out who this Salvat was and how he lived, and now Salvat had found Reed himself and provided unrestricted access to his old self. For someone like Reed, even a couple of minutes would be enough. Yet Reed was no idiot when it came to murder.
Salvat had assigned Reed to Rene not for protection. Or rather, not just for protection. Rene's safety was the last thing the advisor was concerned of. He wanted Reed to watch her, every step and every word, and warn him if Rene thought of doing anything suspicious. He wanted thorough supervision and total control. The secret of Rene's rage was suddenly clear. Apparently, back then only Reed did not understand why the healer needed an escort.
Another question stood then. If Rene had nothing to hide from Salvat, then why be angry at a forced escort? Reed knew that those who got something to hide are the angriest when being watched. And Rene, apparently, had just stopped inspiring trust in her master. It only remained to find out the reason. The picture was gradually coming together, but details were still scarce.
"I want your report if anything gets suspicious with her. If try to lie for her, I’ll have you hanged. Is it clear?"
"Of course, my lord," he bowed, pressing his palm to his chest.
Salvat waved his hand, making it clear that the conversation was over. And Reed finally breathed freely that night.
Heading to the barracks, his mind returned to Meredith again and again. To her eyes, smile, and lips. Memories of her had an incredible ability to return the peace he needed so desperately. He longed to see her again and hated the King, the castle, and the advisors because they all were the reason that Meredith was so far away from him. Before, he would have taken such a job better, but now that Meredith had won even more space in his heart, Reed could not help but strive for her. Perhaps in the whole world there was no one whom Reed desired to see so much.
Adrian met him with loud laughter and another offer to play cards, as no one else wanted to play with him anymore. Reed brushed him off and fell into bed to lose himself in long-awaited sleep.
***
Days began to blur together again, and Reed stopped even counting them. Whether one Moon passed, two, or three, they were all the same. By Salvat’s order, he continued to accompany Rene and report on her behavior, while Rene continued to see Reed as an enemy, and to some extent, she was right.
After some time, he figured that Rene was not in Salvat’s service voluntarily. There was no need to spy on voluntary allies. If there were an opportunity, Salvat would have replaced her with someone more reliable, but he did not. The conclusion suggested itself: Salvat needed Rene specifically, or rather her skills. In any case, replacing her was not so easy, and she did not burn with a desire to help. Reed could see it on her face.
Understanding why she kept on following every Salvat’s order was also simple to draw. When it came to games of such magnitude, there was just one reliable way to get what you need from those who don’t want to cooperate. Blackmail and threats.
Reed heard only snatches of conversations between Rene and Salvat, and the more he heard, the more he was certain that Salvat was using that very same old, proven method. That was precisely why he ordered spying on Rene and why she despised the advisor himself and Reed who was just carrying out the order.
Winter was in full swing when the Captain notified the guardsmen of high alert. The King was preparing for a holiday. After a long absence, the most loyal advisor Merit was returning with his young wife. The King planned a major celebration, and a celebration, as a rule, does not go without fights and additional problems for the guardsmen in the castle. Many were revoked from patrols in the city, and now the castle was busy with preparations.
And Rene was angrier than ever. It was already late evening, and Reed accompanied her to the dungeon. He knew he’d just sit on the steps for a while and then go back. They almost did not speak. Rene considered herself above someone like Reed. Reed held a different opinion, but grew bored of annoying her quickly. Nevertheless, she no longer tried to show authority. She remembered his threats all too well, and considering the reason Reed accompanied her, the threats felt too real to dismiss. After all, he could simply say she had planned something foolish and he was trying to stop her. And who would prove the opposite?
When they had already approached the door, Rene suddenly stopped. She crouched and burst into tears, covering her face with her palms. Reed was at a loss. For all her flaws and venomous nature, she was still a woman. Sometimes he even felt sorry for her. Hadn't he been the same way when he was caught by Morioka and burned? He was lucky to have met Meredith, but Rene had no one.
Reed sighed, sat down beside her, and cautiously put his arm around her shoulders. At first, she tried to push him away, but then she sobbed even harder, shrinking into a pathetic little bundle in Reed’s arms. He was glad to be her temporary island of safety, even if she would despise him again afterward. Reed did not know the reason for this impulse himself.
Finally, she calmed down enough to manage a few words.
"Thank you," she sniffled, pulling back slightly. "Salvat doesn’t like to wait. And you will have to explain to him why we’ve got delayed."
"You’ll feel better in time," Reed said, examining Rene.
"What you mean?" She frowned sharply, as if a lever in her head had switched her mood.
"All this," he pointed at her tear-stained face.
"Don’t pretend you understand me! You understand nothing at all! You don’t know me!" she growled, standing up.
"Merit," Reed stated curtly.
"Heard all the rumors?"
"Tell me I'm wrong."
"Even if you aren’t, you still know nothing about me."
"Oh, quite an effort. You are just the biggest mystery in all of Emeron," Reed snapped gloomily.
Rene snorted.
"Fuck you! As if you know anything about love or pain. Look at yourself! It’s easy to wag your tongue when you have never been in someone else's place."
In a way, she was right. Reed did not look like someone capable of loving, nor someone who could be loved. Nevertheless, her words stung, awakening old doubts.
"Don’t forget to wipe your nose when you start working," Reed chuckled, glancing at her. He felt tired. It was like that every time he saw Rene. She drained him. "You will make your own way back. You won't drown here, will you? Good."
Reed stood up and walked away. Of course, he did not risk getting in trouble with Salvat. He still needed this connection with the advisor. He only wanted Rene to think that he had left. When the door closed behind her, Reed sat right on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. The image of Meredith arose in his memory again. What if Rene was right and it was impossible to love him? What if he himself had been right when he said that Meredith loved a fantasy and not his true self?
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***
It was the dead of night when Reed stood in the main corridor of the Southern Wing and looked out the window. Outside, snowflakes swirled in whimsical dance.
No matter how long the winter lasted, Reed still could not get enough of it. Everything around looked clean, while he remained dirty. Sometimes he wanted to become a part of this landscape, a refuge for the falling snowflakes. They would not melt upon touching him. This way, Reed could get closer to their cold beauty, at least for a while.
Somewhere far away, Meredith was perhaps also watching as the swollen clouds shed the snow. Maybe she was also thinking it’s been almost a year since they’d last seen each other.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Reed did not hear Prince Arne approach. He seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Yes, Your Highness." Reed turned abruptly, bowing. The Prince only winced tiredly, waving his hand.
"Sometimes I wonder how rich nature's imagination is," Arne said, stepping closer to the window.
"And for that alone it is worth loving. It knows how to help us survive, yet can be cruel sometimes too. But beautiful. Like a true lady." Reed didn’t look at Arne as he spoke.
The Prince smiled.
"I feel that I should not speak with you so often, Your Highness," Reed said, fnally glancing at Arne.
"If no one saw it, it did not happen," he cut off. An awkward, strange silence hung in the air, and then Arne asked, "And what would you do if you found out that the people around were plotting a crime against this very nature?"
"I would try to stop them," Reed shrugged.
"Really?" Arne asked with curiosity.
"And wouldn't you?"
"Aren't mages also part of nature, then?"
Reed was at a loss. A look of horror crossed his face, but he quickly turned away, trying to force his face back to its former expression.
"It turns out they are. People didn’t create magic, so it was a gift of nature. Nature often creates dangerous things, such as snakes and spiders. It imbues plants with poison, too. If something exists, it means nature willed it so, and we can only live with it," Reed said and regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth.
"What if someone tries to strip a snake of its venom or forces flowers to lose their scent? What if someone is trying to disrupt nature's designs?" The Prince spoke so quietly that Reed could barely hear him.
"That is not for me to decide, Your Highness. Forgive me, I overstepped." Reed bowed quickly, realizing that the conversation had taken on dangerous undertones. When he straightened up, he was met with Arne's smile.
"There is something to think about, huh?"
The Prince cast a final glance out the window, and soon Reed stayed alone, staring at the snow.
***
On the day of advisor Merit and his wife Victoria’s arrival, it was snowing again. The entire parade ground was covered in a snow-white icy sheet, making the approaching carriages look even richer. There was simply no contrast.
Reed was at his post and felt anxious. The conversation with Arne would not leave his head. Since that night, Reed spent every day waiting to be seized and led for interrogation. Yet days passed, and no one came for him, which made things even more unsettling. On the other hand, Arne did not look like the kind of person who would approach a random guard without a reason. Reed was sure there was another reason hidden behind this conversation. The one he failed to see.
The carriages stopped right at the steps. The first to step out was Merit himself. He wore expensive furs and a red cloak and seemed joyful. Victoria followed, a beautiful embodiment of bohemia. If that word had a human form, that form would belong to Victoria. A dark burgundy cape with white fur covered her rounded shoulders, and the train of a long, light peach dress trailed along the snowy steps. Victoria had a full, soft body and a generous chest tightened by a corset. She had long, curly hair and a round, almost childlike heart-shaped face. She, more than anyone else, looked like a princess. Even if she wasn’t one.
Arne stood in front of the group of guards and as Victoria approached, he offered her his hand, kissing her gloved palm. Victoria smiled and, without saying a word, disappeared into the castle’s main hall. Merit gave commands and greeted people, while Reed was dying of boredom.
Only after several hours of standing in the cold in iron armor did Reed and his brothers-in-arms receive the order to take their posts in the Hall of Repose. Reed hid behind a large pillar and watched. At the head of the feast sat the King. Salvat sat on his right hand, and the Prince sat on his left. The King looked pleased, while the Prince seemed depressed. There was something remotely familiar to Reed about his face, but he still could not understand exactly what it was. The musicians huddled between the pillars. Some guests were dancing, some were stuffing their bellies, and some were already drunk.
Glancing across the hall, Reed saw Rene. She was sitting at the table with a look as if she had been brought to a penal colony. She was all tensed up, and her face was slightly flushed because she was holding back tears. Reed no longer cared about her tears. Now he dispassionately observed everyone present. Rene cast fleeting, offended looks at Merit, while the angry ones were meant for Victoria. From time to time, Victoria glanced toward Rene, and when their gazes met, Rene huffed with anger while Victoria grew sad. A shadow of regret appeared on Victoria’s face then. She did not speak to her husband, barely looked at him. She also ate nothing, only drank wine, one goblet after another. Watching Victoria and Rene, Reed made a simple conclusion: Victoria did not want the marriage with Merit and was acquainted with Rene. What kind of relationship connected Rene and Victoria was something yet to be discovered.
The King stood up and delivered a long, tedious speech, thanking the Three for the return of his loyal servant, and when he sat back down, everyone present burst into applause. Reed was almost sure they were clapping not because they liked the speech but because they were glad that Arden had finally shut his mouth. Salvat leaned toward the King and spoke something quickly, and Arden nodded contentedly, looking at Rene. His senile, clouded gaze swept across the hall and found Reed. Reed looked down, pretending he had noticed nothing.
The celebration was in full swing, and Reed was already tired of it. He could only leave after it was all over. Looking at the richness of the feast, he was surprised and indignant at the same time. There was much more food than all those present could eat. And people like him and Meredith had hardly ever seen so many dishes, let alone tried them. Everything that remained would go to the waste, and the very thought of it filled Reed with anger. Some were literally surviving while the King’s minions lived in luxury, knowing that not everyone would have dinner tonight. After so many Moons in the castle, Reed was beginning to understand Maró.
Everything ended close to midnight. Reed’s legs trembled with fatigue as he trudged to the common barracks. The guards walking beside him discussed the dishes, the guests, and their own exhaustion, and Reed agreed with every word, but he did not want to get involved in a conversation about things that were already clear. He wanted solitude. Only now, mindlessly walking in the crowd of kreyghars, did Reed realize how tiring they were. He missed his simple, uncomplicated life. Even if that life was difficult and sometimes even dangerous, Reed had chosen it. Only after giving it up he realized that he actually liked it. He liked that life not because of the killings but because of the freedom he had in abundance. And Reed could see Meredith then. There was nothing in the whole world that Reed desired more.
"Will you walk me?" A high female voice called out to Reed. He had not noticed how he had drifted away from the crowd of guards and was now trudging down the empty corridor alone.
"My Lady." Reed pressed his hand to his chest and bowed. Victoria, flushed with wine, smiled.
"It’s all the wine..." She pressed her palm to her glowing cheek.
Reed smiled silently and offered her his hand. Victoria clutched his forearms, stumbling. She awkwardly pursed her lips, murmured something like an apology, and stepped forward almost confidently.
"Do you remember where your room is, my Lady?" Reed asked.
"I remember," she sighed. "I probably should have had more wine."
They walked in silence. The longer their path became, the slower Victoria walked, as if she wanted them to reach the chambers at dawn. Finally, she stopped at one of the rooms. Reed never been to that part of the castle. Apparently, the most important kreyghars lived there.
"Is everything alright?" Reed asked, looking at Victoria. Her face contorted, but she did not cry.
"I want to wake up in the morning and realize that this is all a dream." She shook her head.
"A bad dream, isn't it?"
"Oh, yes. Though, seemingly, what have I to complain about? You probably think I am just a girl who simply needs a rebellion because the age tempts me to?"
"Everyone needs a rebellion sometimes," Reed squeezed out.
Victoria laughed.
"I have acquired everything a woman in my position could desire, but I have lost more than I would like."
Reed remained silent, not knowing what to say. And who was he to talk about such things? Everything Reed could talk about was too far from the problems Victoria was fighting against.
"Just like each of us," he finally said. Victoria's eyes gleamed in the dim light.
"What are you doing in the guard?" she asked.
"Uh... serving the King, my Lady."
Victoria giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. Without saying goodbye, she slipped into the room, and Reed stayed alone.
On the way back, he went over everything he had seen and heard. The picture seemed clear enough though the only missing detail was the connection between Rene and Victoria. Guesses were not enough. If Reed began to act at random, he could frame himself. Yet if he were smart, he could use it when sending Salvat to his gods.
But one thing he knew for certain: Salvat would die, and Reed would not be blamed for it. He wanted to cover his tracks, deflect suspicion, and stay on the sidelines when things got heated, but the plan needed refinement. He was so close to triumph that for the first time in so long, he felt that he had moved from a dead end.

