I groaned as I felt my body again. Consciousness slowly but surely coming back. My head hurts. It felt like I just did another mental breakdown benders after being stood up at college prom again. The air around me still smelt like mints so whatever happened wasn't a dream.
Still, my mouth could only speak in growls and groans for the moment as the splitting migraine and what's probably some brain trauma scrambled my brain.
This was not fun at the slightest.
I tried moving my head but the splitting migraine worsened. I could feel my forehead get wet for a sec.
"Oh, hey you, you're awake." My mind got hit with the Skyrim intro. I couldn't help but inwardly chuckle at that, mind probably fried from blunt force trauma.
I looked around yet still my eyes sight was blurry.
How many times did this happen this day?
Once? Twice?
Honestly if this what brain trauma felt like, I would rarely headbutt anyone ever again unless I had protective gear on my head. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
What I found mildly ironic in this was if I could wish for another thing, I would want a redo as I regret wishing for this knowing that pain, o sweet painful pain was coming.
I slurred my speech as I tried to ask where I was. But all they could probably hear were slurred speech.
"You've got balls kid." The voice of the proctor who I probably turned sterile said. I turned my head to see the blurry outline of another bed next to me. So I was in some sort of hospital? Probably a semi private room considering there isn't any other smell of disinfectant, and treated gauss.
"You crushed my balls you know that." He said, voice barely containing rage. But then, the proctor laughed.
"You've got balls I'll give you that. No one in the history of the exam fought like you did. Most tried only with a weapon fighting not grappling and going in dirty into a fight. I'll admit you defeated me but that's only because you fought dirty. That is not a conduct of a knight." He said seriously but I sense a coming 'but'.
"But you have the mind of a soldier. Who dares, wins." The proctor said with a voice filled with mirth.
"To be completely honest, I was like you in my youth. For king and country. Dulce et docorum est propatria Mori."
Isn't the meaning of that 'It is sweet and fulfilling to die for one's country'? If I remember correctly that was discussed in highschool or elementary English and history class. Usually that came with the history of men dying for something they barely understand. I mentally sighed. I didn't want to die in a ditch like it was the first world war. To die alone, wretching for life and drowning on my own blood whilst I beg for my mother of father.
I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of that. I was already a wretch. People say 'oh people will look at you differently if you just prove yourself to them!'. What a load of bull. Most of the time that comes with envy and people are people, someone inevitably succumbs to envy. I've seen how my peers sometimes hated me. How some of their parents told them that they should be like me. If only they knew. I wanted to laugh and go on a diatribe at those parents but couldn't as it wasn't proper decorum and would most likely get me a beating.
Envy begets envy. A tale as old as human history. From the days of Adam and eve if that was true, to cain and able, to Samson and Delilah, to modern political history.
"In my youth I was nothing but a poor sap who's been born in the lowest echelons. People say that I'm just a nobody and will never amount to nothing. Hah! How wrong they were!" I felt a gentle soothing aura covering my head as the mind numbing headache started to subside. Slowly but surely my eyes sight turned normal.
"I became one of the Honor guard, the knights of the lake and a captain at that. Served at the war against the free kingdom of Versailles. Became a decorated war hero. It wasn't because I was honorable, no." He paused at that and turned his head towards me from his bed looking at me directly as if to make me understand that not everything was about honor. He seemed to think of me to be someone like him who wanted to be something. Seemingly convinced that I was someone who sought glory because he had something to prove. I was nought, I just wanted to live a life I could enjoy, surrounded by friends, and if I was lucky enough, with a partner. I wanted someone to be there for me and for me to be there for someone. A dichotomy of unhealthy codependency. God I knew listening to yandere asmrs were fucking my mental health up lower than rock bottom.
"I did everything and anything to protect my country. To serve with utmost loyalty to the country, even butting heads with my commanders. To many that would've been immediate court martial but I was proven right in my judgement, begrudgingly I was given medals for my loyalty to the country. Still many see me as dishonorable but fuck em'. Them' honorable whores are just assholes who think might makes right and to fight without honor is an injustice and an affront to their honor." Jeez for a knight this guy was talking like a gangster in the latter half of his long winded diatribe.
"You know, I fought in the plains of eidolon, against a company of men with only a sword, and a few Mana batteries. Fought in muddy plains bombarded with artillery, mechanized units like the TFC's, survived being shot with a rail canon, and barely survived after fighting off a battalion trying to overrun three companies of knights in the plains. I survived that hellish quagmire with hit and run tactics. I held off a couple of attempted breakthroughs with only 3 companies worth of allies. I saved 300 people and helped stopped a breakthrough and a potential encirclement. When many found out what id done instead of retreating and fighting them honorable with equal or more numbers, you know what they called me?" He asked. I tried slurring out a sarcastic remark.
"Ah dishohnable basard?" I slurred. The man couldn't help but snicker at the sarcasm and the way I said those words.
"Yes." He said with almost a straight face his lips twitching with great amusement. I couldn't help but twitch in annoyance at how he just said that.
"Haha, you should've seen their faces when I fought one particular dissenter In order prove that I was worthy of being put into the Avalon le fay's knights of the lake. His face when I beat him with tactics rather than directly fighting someone physically stronger than me. Oh you love to see that~" He said with barely hidden sadism. Oh god, one of the proctor's and potential teachers is a sadist.
Oh fuck.
He grinned at me as he seemed to be proud of someone who was seemingly like him, someone with something to prove.
"You did great. At first I thought you were a novice since you kept dragging your feet and hadn't used any proper stances. Props to you for having me underestimate you. You have the perception but not the reflex. You were put in a high stress situation against someone with more experience and stronger than you yet you still found a way to strategize. Honestly at first I thought you were a complete flunky that somehow managed to get through the academy's strict interview criteria for knight candidates but to my surprise you knew better than to fight someone you know is superior to you. Fighting dirty to win." He laughs with great joy.
"You passed brat. But damn, fuck you."
Fair, I did just crushed his ability to reproduce.
"You crushed my balls. You thoroughly brutalized my nuts to the point that the onsite surgeon had to do a 2 hour long surgery to fix it before having restoration magic heal the wounds quickly. Still, I still have phantom pains and can't walk properly till next week according to the doctors." I glanced at him sympathetically and muttered an apology but the guy just gave me a half hearted glare. Then, he gave me a stereotypical sadistic grin found in an anime or those stereotypical drill sergeants in skits I saw in YouTube.
My blood ran cold and wished the god that brought me here to have testicular torsion lasting months.
"In exchange, I will be one of your teachers, specifically, I requested to be your class' combat instructor."
My heart sank and cursed the gods. Cursed the heavens, and the hells for this. Cursed the devil that brought me here.
He gave another mirthful laugh.
"So brat, you'll be my personal punching bag. If you try that stunt again I will not hold back and hit you back harder than you did me." I gulp and whimpered to which the man just laughs even harder. His sadistic grin grew as he saw me in this whimpering state.
"God you look so cute when your afraid. Like a kicked puppy~" I wanted to run away to badly. If it weren't punishable by imprisonment, I would've done so earlier.
Then a knock came from the door.
"Hello? Umm... I just want to visit my friend. Can I come in miss nurse?" Asked the person behind the door. I turned my head towards the door and saw a white haired nurse with the stereotypical beautiful face typical of that of the VN/rpg game I was stuck in. If I remember correctly, in the lore the faeries had made clones of every staff working in the medical sector of society called homunculi so that every patient will be cared for and not left to die a needless death. One of the reasons why Avalon was one of the superpowers found in the planets inner world, the inner sea. As to why the pure white hair, it's supposedly because they do not have a true soul, only an artificial one. True souls according to lore can only have any other hair color other than pure white hair as no matter what they did, artificial souls had this taint as a product of creation.
As to why that was the case, if this was so helpful why doesn't the other countries do this? Honestly I suspect it's because of resources and the logistics of doing so. Keeping them fed or the mana needed would've been enormous. Faeries compared to normal humans have higher Mana reserves, creating homunculi as a human would've taken the entire reserve of a human and more to create one. In doing so it would take weeks or months before the one who had their Mana depleted recovered.
If need be, according to the lore, before the incineration of the surface the faeries used homunculi as soldiers. To them it was distasteful but needed as many species of phantasmals were stronger than them. Like the dragon kin, the true dragons, the fallen, and a plethora of others I don't fully know. Outnumbered and outgunned, the faeries used this to their advantage as they could just create countless soldiers. Problem was even with adult bodies at birth sometimes they would need a year to be ready for fielding as quite literally they were mentally like infants or infantile. The ones with a semblance of young adult mental faculties at birth was rate. It was like a gacha in the rates of the chances of getting a homunculi with the mental faculties of an adult or near adult human. Funnily enough in the game there was a mechanic where you could make a homunculi as backup for the story but you need atleast a hundred grams of Solaris and a Mana core. The Solaris supposedly acts as a catalyst for making a body and soul whilst the mana core is there to facilitate Mana generation in the body so it could exist. But in lore the faeries just needed cores and the catalyst their knowledge of how Mana and magic works. The Solaris part was for humans trying to create homunculi as the mana cost would be stupidly high if done like the faeries did.
I took a long exhausted sigh. The homunculi opened the door, seemingly letting the visitor in. A few seconds later a young woman, around 18 years old with bleached white hair, eyes the color of bronze, a face that would look good smiling at you whilst holding a leash connected to a dog collar on your neck.
God that sounded so weird yet so weirdly apt considering how her face looked. Her face looked like the stereotypical dominatrix or someone with unhealthy codependency issues big enough that I would find quite hot.
Goddamn, I sound like a creep thinking about this but Daaaammmmn, This gal is my type but knowing who I was, it was not meant to be. I would only hurt them. Who could love a wretch like me.
I couldn't help but mentally laugh at that thought. The guy everyone calls something akin to a wretch all his life, being found attractive by someone from the opposite sex. It sounded like some of the japanese manga I'd read just so I could comfort myself. A guilty pleasure meant to sooth the soul but only made me think I'm even more pathetic. Like someone like me, someone who was a afraid of touch could ever find love.
I sighed.
"Ugh.." finally, I can talk properly, oh how I missed not having my words slurred as the brain damage was healed by the homunculi earlier, if I had to guess it was the soothing feeling I had felt earlier when my sight slowly yet surely returned.
"Who are you?" I asked, not particularly good at talking to other people, honestly I could bet that this visitor was for the other guy in the room but a small part of me wished that this person was here for me. God, I am pathetic.
Her breath hitched as she seemed to be hurt by these words of mine. Oh god, I just hurt a maiden's heart. Oh wait, nvm, who could love a wretch. But I didn't realize that maybe, just maybe this person knew the vessel I was inhabiting. I was too self absorbed to realize that.
"You don't recognize me?" She asked, her voice seemingly shaking as she asked that.
"Do I know you?" I asked, not quite knowing who this person was.
"You don't remember?"
"Lady I just survived from what's probably internal bleeding and brain damage. You think I could remember everything?" I asked sarcastically and snarkily. Her face seemed so disappointed. Like a friend you deeply care about not recognizing you.
Honest, now that I thought about it.
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Ah fuck, I can't even remember my first crush, the teachers I had respected for being kind, and the names of my parents. Granted it's been a decade since I last saw them or thought about them in the middle former's case.
I-i...
I don't remember where I had gone to in preschool or elementary.
Most things I remembered were... The painful memories, recent memories, and the things ingrained deeply in my psyche.
Oh great, a trope, of all things popping up in my life. The amnesiac's curse.
Honestly if someone knew my thoughts right now they would ask if I was alright or if I was tweaking but the stress of being transported here, going to the exam, having my shit nearly getting kicked in if the proctor had he taken me seriously, and my future as the personal 'Character development' training dummy for said proctor that said he is my future training instructor in my combat classes. I had disassociated and thought that this might all be a fever dream developed in my mind after reading too much light novels, RPGs, and visual novels.
Honestly it was to be expected considering how I had been transported here. Anyone would've been susceptible for thinking like a self aware chuni.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice her eyes drooping, nor her whisper.
"Then what's your name?" She asked, I looked at her and noticed how beneath those eyes which looked composed, she looked like she just lost something important to her. I've seen that eyes before. I see them everyday, I goddamn see them everytime I go to the bathroom.
"Aggrian Bors." Her lips thinned as I said those words.
"Excuse me?"
"Aggrian Bors." I answered again. She sighed, the lips on her face twisting to that remiscent of someone trying to swallow whilst choking on something.
"I-i"
"I thought you were my friend. You looked so much like him. I'm sorry I inconvenienced you for a bit." But before I could say anything she bowed and walked away.
I sighed. The proctor watching the whole thing just sighs along.
"It's okay kid, it's not like you knew her, plus it's just a coincidence that you look like her friend." He said, trying to comfort me as my face did a grimace for an entirely different reason.
A thought came into my mind.
What if I just took her friend's body?
Did...
Am I the bad guy?
Ah! I'm such an ass.. I..
Damnit, I could've just played along and let her live a lie for a bit. Her eyes, it looked like a kicked puppy when I said those words. It looked so much of what I looked like beneath the fake smiles when I was younger. It felt like I was an asshole for telling the truth.
Deep breaths.
Deep.... Breaths....
I looked at the ceiling and the proctor didn't talk as he let me digest what just happened.
"God I felt like an asshole saying that to her. For telling the truth." The proctor sighs.
"You know kid, It's a normal thing. You wouldn't believe how many times I've seen things like this. I'd seen others feel the same thing you did. But for all it's worth, you said the truth." Said with the tone of that of an old man trying to pass down wisdom to the younger generation.
"It's better to let them grieve. She probably brought a photo of someone similar looking to you and got referred here by the nurse station since you probably look similar to the person she was trying to find." No, it's not that. I didn't want to say it. I didn't know if what happened to me is a taboo that would get me killed. If what I thought was the case. Then...
Oh...
I didn't ask for this.
"It's fine, pr-" I stopped for a bit.
"What's your name?" I asked, trying to extend the courtesy. It'd be an asshole move since I did kick him hard in the balls. Not even asking for his name and calling him proctor would be such an ass of a move. The proctor thought about it.
"The name is Cai ab Goch." What? Is that some sort of Welsh. The only thing I recognize was Cai which means Kay in Welsh. As to why I know that, I binge read The once and future king, a few books relating to Arthurian mythology, and a few movies trying to do research on the accuracy of Fate's king Arthur.
Trying to do so would be the height of idiocy. I mean who would research an anime...
I did. And I'm not saying sorry for it. It was a waste of time but slightly worth it.
Wonder if Excalibur exist here? I wonder how accurate it would be here?
I mentally shook those thoughts off.
"Okay, Kay, was it?" He nods.
"It's fine Mr. Kay." The man shakes his head as I seemed to butcher his name.
"You know what, sure. Just call me Mr. Kay or sir. Kay." He said as the both of us rested on the hospital bed till we were ready for discharge.
___________________
I had been discharged two days later alongside Cai. The proctor had given me a direction of where my classroom was, and time table of the subjects. Class starts a week from now. I sighed, and decided to go home alone.
'those innocent days, will soon fade away and I'll let you go~'
'i try to move on by I'm cursed to move still~'
'like flowers wilting amidst the midnight's glow, we fall, cursed to grow~'
'No matter how I hold, those days will fade~'
'but even so~'
'just like the love I can't quite reach, the words in my throat I could never say~'
'I miss the youth we threw~'
'i couldn't even whisper to curse the world~'
'I wish I could've told you what I felt then~'
I hummed the VN's opening theme that played when you first open it. On my hand was my keycard with credential codes made for me by the school. If I lose this, I'll have to pay a stupid amount of money. Like the equivalent of paying $5000.
Yeah... Not losing it.
Although the card doubles as a food pass, library card, and ID. Free food.
I snorted. God I kinda remember how college was, and this was heaven compared to that hellhole with the amenities the place had. I mean pool, an on school state of the art gym, literally an onsen, free food paid by the government, and free books filled with what's probably sensitive restricted info. I already had permission from the library to burrow this as this was a basic Mana control and introduction book. Anyone could buy this but I did get odd looks from the librarian though. Asking if I got in why I needed the book, I just gave some reviewer bullshit since I didn't own a copy of the book.
I sighed, and went to my home. Or honestly rented abode. I honestly don't know. Fuck if I know since, I didn't know what the hell this body did before I got stuck inside of it and forced to control it like some Mecha being controlled by an A.I except the a.i is just a human soul from another world who would flinch at any touch, and the mech is just a human.
God that sounded like evengelion.
Reaching home, I arrived and opened the door with as much fanfare as I did in my last life.
I took a deep breath.
"I'm home...." But nothing answered. Who am I kidding, no one is waiting for me. No one will.
Suddenly my stomach grumbled. I smiled slightly as i decide to cook something up for dinner.
Quickly opening the cabinets, and the fridge I couldn't help but have my lips twitch at how psychotic the labeling was.
Who the hell keeps things arranged by geographical alphabetical order? Especially food?
I found that quite hilarious honestly since only psychopath would be this organized save for extreme cases of OCD.
3 eggs, a can of corned beef, 200g of rice, this world's equivalent of MSG, salt, peppers, frozen veggies, soy sauce, and oyster sauce.
Oh lawd this is going to be gourmet.
I haven't cooked food with a lot of ingredients since I got hired as an IT sys admin. Most of the time I cooked basic stuff like cup ramen, steamed veggies, easy to make recipes, or door dash.
To my employed and sleep deprived ass, this was gourmet since I rarely get to cook food with this much ingredients. If I did cook the food I liked, I'd be too time consuming. I mean some of the recipes I knew needed hours of prep. I smiled slightly as I was doing some of my guilty pleasures In life
Crack eggs, mix thoroughly, add some salt, msg, and peppers.
Grabbing a wok that was surprisingly on a lower cabinet next to the stove, my lazy bum starts to heat up the wok on the stove and seasoned the wok with oil.
Within a minute or two, the oil was finally heated enough, and the scrambled eggs were dropped. When the eggs were cooked, I dropped the prepped corned beef and veggies. Cooking them together, after that putting the rice, and adding some spices and sauces. As a joke I started to do some stereotypical over the top flipping of the fried rice.
In doing so, I found it as fun as I remembered. A smile curled up on my lips doing so. When I finally ate my final product, it was honestly great.
The proper seasoning of the rice, the mixing of the sauces, and oh my lawd the veggies tasted better than the world I came from. Less bitter and more crunchy and savory akin to that of spicy scallops chili oil. I could get used to the veggies here.
After that I went to take a shower in the bathroom and saw that the basket in the corner where dirty clothes (I think?) were put in smelled like iron, and dried blood.
Opening the basket, I saw blooded clothes with a hole in the solar plexus area.
My heart sank.
This...
The owner of this body died didn't it?
My suspicions were confirmed as I tried to wear it only for the clothes to fit my body properly in a form fitting manner.
Then the last memory of this body came into my mind.
"I can't... D..ie....yet.... I.."
"I....ha...ve... s...o..." The owner of his body quickly threw the clothes it was wearing on the basket. Blood pooled on the owner's mouth and he looked down only to see he lost so much blood already. He grimaced and sat down on the toilet bowl. He quickly poured some alcohol and betadine on the wound then used recovery magic to knit the wound together. His sight blurred as the blood loss started to affect him severely.
"Damn...it.... I-... I can...t... Di..e... Yet..."
"The... Hospital ... Is... Too fa...r" he coughed out blood.
"Away...." Whilst his sight turned from black and blurry sights, he desperately used the spell to stem the bleeding. But it was too late. He lost too much blood. He bit his tongue when the wound finally closed and his mana went down drastically as it seemed the stab wound hit a blood vessel and a vessel connected to the kidneys. The spell used as much Mana as it could to heal the would including the damages to the organs as the connection to his left kidney was severed by the stab wound.
"Got... Mugg...ed.."
"This is why... I don't like walking in the... Night alone..." He mutters, his mind going in and out of consciousness.
Thinking that passing out in the bathroom would cause more problems like his head hitting the ground, he quickly went to the bed and passed out on the bed. Although...
The body stopped breathing after that. His heart stopped. And the world went utterly black. The body feeling cold.
I inhaled a sharp breath after that.
The....
The owner of the body is dead....
I took a deep breath.
I felt disgusted at myself. I was basically stealing a body that wasn't mine. A life that wasn't mine.
This...
This wasn't what I wished for....
I..
Ah damnit, I got monkey pawed. I meant that I wished that I could've been reincarnated in a life without the pain I experienced. Not...
Whatever the fuck this was.
My wish was to be reincarnated as someone else. To be born as a baby and be raised to experience a new life not take over the life of another. But as one particular jaded person said.
"Nothing goes right in this accursed world."
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths....
It wasn't my fault...
It...
It wasn't.
I shook my head and decide to sleep it through.
I quickly got out of the clothes and the bathroom and went to bed. Mind drifting to dreams of living a life I could've enjoyed. Lives where I wasn't just some pawn. But as some say, becareful of what you wish for.
The following days had me contemplating the situation. My mind reeling at the last memory this body had and my horrifying connection. It wasn't supposed to be like this. But it did. All I could do was to live. To.. to just die is to insult the owner of the body.
Still, the memory of the girl. Those eyes remiscent of the eyes that sometimes stared deeply and contemplatingly in the mirror. It made me feel so bad. Taking over the life of her friend. Wearing his face, and body.
God that's...
That's fucked up.
I imagined myself in the situation and I wished nobody would experience that. It reminded me of how Kenjaku took Kaori's body in jjk except I wasn't like kenjaku. This was all a cosmic accident.
I sighed.
Currently as i was contemplating things, I was studying the book. Basic Mana control.
Image Mana like clingy water. Mold it. Imagine it sticking and covering the body. Imagine it hardening.
[Mana Reinforcement.]
I opened my eyes and saw the faint lining of Mana on my hand like a membrane or viscous honey.
It...
It finally worked.
I smiled as it took an hour or so to do this. I already finished basic Mana release. The most basic control of Mana in which someone just forces out Mana off the body. The first part was easy.
This one..
This one was tough.
I tried again on my other hand.
The mana felt like water, I tried to control it with sheer will power but when I got distracted the mana dispersed into the air, mixing in into the natural background Mana noise.
I couldn't help but find it frustrating. They weren't kidding when Mana was controlled by will power, knowledge, and imagination. I had to give props to the people learning this stuff in books, anime, manga, and comics. This stuff was harder than the stuff illustrated in those series of fiction. I had more respect to them as this was actually quite hard.
I tried again.
Concentrating and coating my hands on Mana, I saw a film like membrane covering the both of them.
I tried punching a wall only for the reinforcements to shatter like glass or particularly brittle candy.
I tried again only for the same results to happen again.
And again.
Eventually three hours in, I grew frustrated. I couldn't do shit with basic reinforcement on the body. How about when in school with combat lessons? My body is so gonna get bruised...
The next day, I tried again. Only this time, I tried something different.
I believed on my skills. I had the knowledge, I had the mana capacity and control...
But something was missing. Confidence. Confidence and will to succeed. I always had a sinking feeling that it won't work.
Maybe that's why. That's why I couldn't properly get the spell to work.
Harden your mind.
Harden yourself.
Be like stone.
I will succeed.
I took a deep breath.
Oh wait. Fuck. I forgot that I didn't know if I own this place or if I had a landlady or land owner owning the place. I quickly tried to find a chopping board since that was rather cheap to replace.
I took a deep breath and reinforced my hands.
Be like stone.
I believe that I can do this.
I CAN do this!
I felt the mana reinforcing my hands and suddenly I felt that my hands were covered in something akin to cement and faintly, the mana seemed to have gained mass. Although the weight was just akin to boxing gloves with the texture of cement.
I smiled and punched the chopping board.
With the sound of a loud snap, the chopping board snapped in half like it was slammed into a rather heavy rock at high velocities.
I huffed and smiled.
I did it.
I... I actually did it!
I couldn't help but do a simple victory dance and smile similar to what hakari did in s3 ep6. A shit eating grin appeared on my face.
I finally got it.
The key was confidence, visualization, and knowledge.
"Ya baby! Yaaaaaaahhhh!!!" I said with giddiness clearly evident in my voice. I did it. I actually did it.
I tried it again with a knife. But to my surprise it just made it harder to break. I tried again, albeit altering the thickness and length of the sharp blade portion of the knife. After an hour of trial and error trying to alter the sharpness and the thickness, I finally found the proper thickness. Although.
I then tried to cut a piece of the cutting board into a smaller piece.
It did do as intended now but.
The reinforcement shattered after the cut happened.
A trade off. Basically if I made the blade thickness thinner, the more brittle the reinforcement was.
I then tried again. Made the reinforcement blade thinner on the edges but more condensed. The trade off was it needed more Mana to do so. I did the experiment again, and surprisingly the durability upped by a factor of 3. That said it meant that it would only survive 3 hits before the reinforcement shatters.
I decided to scurry the house and find some blades. I mean the guy who first owned the body was going to school and probably knew swordsmanship if he was so excited for the combat exams. There's probably a sword here.
So I scurried all over the house like a rat trying to find cheese. But the cheese in this case was a sword. After a while I found a sword hidden on a trunk that I had to break open since I didn't know where the key for the trunk was.
Holding the blade, it looked like normal longsword but the guard was remiscent of Excalibur from fate. Although I couldn't feel anything from it. It was just a normal blade with particularly thick handguards.
I tried test swinging it and it was fine for the most part. Honestly I couldn't tell since I wasn't that much of a sword smith or a sword guy. I sighed. I checked the calendar and saw that classes start in Monday which is a day from now. I sighed and decided to take a rest as my studies provided ample knowledge on beginner magic.
And for a long time, I was actually satisfied with myself. Although I didn't know how well I would fair against an actual trained knight in Kishi. But that's for Monday to worry about. I need a rest.
Still, I couldn't help but feel I didn't deserve this. But I guess that's just my anxiety speaking.
Then again I still remember how she looked at me. How that girl looked so betrayed. And it made me feel like shit. Like I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve this since I took her friend away. But to say that would be to insult the life said friend. To just let this body die and rot away would be an insult of the highest order. He was dead. The memory felt like he was dead. I felt his final heartbeat. He was dead and nothing I could do would bring him back.
I sighed and scratched my head.
I'm... I'm sorry random person.
For everything, I'm truly sorry.
But for all it's worth, you had a good life. Atleast I think so. Better than I did. I didn't deserve this but here we are. I will honor you memory or what's left of it. That's the least I could do for him. I will do my best and live a life I could atleast enjoy.
I'm so selfish aren't I?
*Sigh.*
