Fiora was rather happy with the way things turned out during her visit with Daegal. She got him talking, was able to learn some more about him, and even secured a second visit without complaint. On the other hand, she had a secret now, one that could very well prove to be damning if it was found out.
While the village didn’t have a large church, the priest was still devout, and Daegal was, quite truthfully, monstrous in appearance. It wouldn’t be all that difficult to draw parallels between him and the demons spoken about during mass. She had sat through many sermons, and the priest had warned about devils tricking people, offering deals and pleasure in exchange for your eternal soul. That behavior did not strike her as befitting of Daegal, despite his appearance to the contrary. Still, the horns alone would be condemning for him, so he would remain a secret.
As she arrived back at her house, her father was there, looking a bit worried. “Fiora! Where have you been? Why were you out so late?”
She had enough time to think about what she would say to him, if confronted, on her way back home. “Sorry Dad. I stopped for a bit to sit by the river. It’s quite peaceful out there. Well, peaceful when idiots aren’t prowling around.”
“It’s those ‘idiots’ that I'm worried about, Fiora.”
“I know, but that’s what the knife is for, right?” she said as she pat her hip where the blade was holstered. “If they ever show up out there again, the knife is the first thing coming out.”
Emil sighed. “I would very much prefer you not be in a situation where it needs to be taken out, or God forbid, used.”
“Yes Dad, I know. Leaving the house carries that risk every day, though. There’s not much that can be done about that.”
“And I hate how true that is.” He rubbed his face with exasperation for a moment before deciding to shift the topic of conversation. “So, you spent some time in the woods again. Is that part of your mysterious project?”
“A little, yeah,” she admitted.
“And you still won't tell me what it is?”
“Sorry, not just yet.”
“Right. It’s not dangerous in any way?”
“Yeah, most likely not.”
Emil raised a brow at her. “Most likely?”
Fiora sighed. “As in, there is no sign that my project is currently dangerous. Things can change, obviously, but right now it seems perfectly safe.”
“You know, a firmer stance on the subject would have done more to ease my concerns.”
“Would you prefer that I lie or give you a realistic answer? You were always the one that told me to be accurate and direct when describing something.”
Emil let out a slow exhale through his nose in defeat. “I suppose I did, and no, I do not want you to lie to me. Just promise me that if it becomes dangerous, that you will abandon your project.”
Abandon Daegal, he meant. The thought of doing that just felt wrong to her. Even so, she couldn’t deny the possibility that Daegal might become hostile to her for some reason, as much as she thought that it was unlikely. It would help ease her father’s mind too, so she nodded.
“Of course. If it becomes too dangerous, I won’t pursue it anymore.”
“Thank you, Fiora,” her father said as he stepped up to her, pulled her into a hug, and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before releasing her once more. “Now go on and get ready for bed. It’s already getting dark outside, and we have plenty of work to do in the morning.”
She headed her father’s suggestion as she made her way up the stairs and to her room. While she did get in bed, she didn’t immediately fall asleep. Her thoughts were preoccupied with the conversation that she had with Daegal. There were many aspects that she was picking apart in her head, but she just kept coming back to, and getting hung up on, his age.
No matter how she looked at it, or rationalized it, Fiora couldn’t help but think of Daegal as just a kid. For all she knew, he was an adult for his species, but to her sensibilities, he was still just a child. Knowing that he was still so young and living by himself made her worry for him; a strange concept considering how imposing he is. It cut a few hours out of her night, which she ended up paying for in the morning.
She was awakened for morning chores far sooner than she wanted to be, eyes heavy with sleep. Fiora did her best to live with her mistake, including splashing some cold water on her face first before getting to work. It didn’t stop the yawning, but at least she could focus enough to finish all her chores in a timely manner.
Once she was cleared of her daily obligations, she prepared another offering for Daegal, this time just a simple meat spread. She noticed that their meat stores were being drained faster due to her gifts. That might pose a problem that would need to be addressed later, but for now she would make do with what they had as she gathered everything that she needed for today.
As she was walking through the village on the way to the woods, she ended up running into someone she didn’t expect. Father Conrad, the priest of their little church, was in her path as he carried a basket with several loaves of bread in it. It looked like he had just come from the bakery, and the bread might have been for mass later. She felt surprisingly nervous about being confronted by the priest and had to remind herself that he didn’t know, nor should he suspect, anything that she was doing with Daegal. Her logic unfortunately didn’t help with the unbidden image of her being branded a witch and burned on a pyre popping into her head. She managed to keep her composure enough to not come off as strange to the priest as he addressed her.
“Ahh, Fiora, good morning to you. You’re off quite early. Doing more work for Emil? I would swear the man is always cooking up some concoction or another.”
“Oh, uhm, yes Father Conrad. I was going to see if I could find some rarer herbs in the forest today.”
“I see.” he glanced down at the basket of food she was carrying. “You’re taking an awful lot of meat with you.”
She tried to bite down on the nerves that sprang up again and managed to answer with a straight face. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone today. I want to be prepared just in case my search takes me afar.”
“A little overprepared, I would say. I’d be concerned about attracting wildlife to you.”
“Thank you for the concern, Father, but I'm sure that I can manage. If it comes down to it, I can use the meat as a distraction to make my escape from any aggressive animals.”
“Hmm, I see. I didn’t consider that. If that is indeed your plan, then it might be feasible, but I would still exercise caution, child. Also, be sure not to venture too deep into the forest. There are many unsavory rumors and foulness surrounding the woods. Paganism might be the least of our worries in that regard.”
You have no idea. She thought to herself.
Fiora nodded her head. “I will be sure to take every precaution that I can, sir. I am no stranger to the woods.”
“I am aware, Fiora. Just make sure that you do not succumb to the influence of the wild and uncivilized. Go with God, dear child.”
Fiora bowed her head to the priest as he went on his way. She felt relieved once he was out of sight, a concept that was confusing to her morality. The fact that she was avoiding and worried about Father Conrad made her feel like a sinner who was condemned by the church. She hoped that wouldn’t become reality for her as she went back to her original objective.
It was a nice day at least. The sun was out and helped to chase away the cold of early morning. She hoped that Daegal would be in a good mood today. It would certainly help her feel better if he wasn’t so combative this morning after all the stress and lack of adequate sleep.
Little did she know Daegal was currently sitting near the edge of his territory in anticipation of Fiora’s arrival. His nervousness and emotional indecision was evident in the way his tail twitched, and his claws scratched on the fallen tree he was seated upon. The soft bark of the tree gave way easily to his sharp claws, and he had dug quite a deep gouge into the wood already.
His insides felt twisted up. He didn’t feel annoyed or angry, nor did he feel particularly happy or excited in any way. Sitting there, he felt almost nothing. The only thing that he could process clearly was the ever-present concern of loss. Perhaps that in and of itself was the reason for the emotional dam inside of him. His heart and his mind, ever at war with one another.
Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.
He rubbed a hand over his face, the pressure over both sets of eyes at least felt relieving in some way. It did little to help the conflict happening inside of him, a conflict that only seemed to grow in intensity as he caught a scent on the wind. Fiora was back.
With a deep sigh, he stood from the log. He had to go and meet her as part of their agreement to keep her from wandering too close to his home. From the smell of things, she was at least keeping to her part of the bargain as she stayed near the effigies. It didn’t take long for him to travel to where she was at, and the moment he came into sight, Fiora flashed an excited smile. Seeing that smile made his chest feel tight. The last time someone looked at him with that amount of eagerness seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Good morning, Daegal. I’m glad that you were in the area. I was worried that I might have to wait a while.”
Conversation was a skill that had atrophied significantly over the last decade. “Hello, Fiora.”
“Did you get good rest last night? I had some trouble getting to sleep and now I’m paying for it today. I couldn’t stop yawning all morning.”
Her attempt at idle conversation was met with stupefied blinking from Daegal and a short reply. “That’s unfortunate.”
Fiora took it in stride though as she shrugged her shoulders. “It was mostly my fault, but hey, it isn’t like it will kill me or anything,” she said with a chuckle. Holding up the basket, she presented the offering of food in exchange for this conversation. “I just have a meat spread today, I hope that’s fine. If it’s a problem, I can always cook before I go to sleep.”
“It’s... fine.” Daegal accepted the salted meats awkwardly.
“Oh, and I brought my sewing supplies with me so I can work on your cloak like I promised.”
Daegal had remembered that promise and brought the piece that had fallen off with him. After removing his fur cloak, he handed it over to her. Fiora spread everything out in a manageable pile as she thought about how to handle it all. The crude stitching that currently held it together wasn’t likely to hold up in the long run. If she wanted to make it last, she’d likely have to redo much of the cloak. Working with furs was more difficult than cloth, but she had the whole day to get it right.
While she got to work pulling everything apart to redo it, Daegal ate the food she had brought. It was a little cold for him without the furs, but he had ways to manage in the meantime. It was about time for him to get cleaned anyway.
As Fiora worked, Daegal found a flat rock a dozen meters away and laid down on his belly. Fiora regarded him with a curious expression as she watched while he settled in.
“What are you doing there?” she asked.
“Waiting to get cleaned.”
She tilter her head slightly. “Cleaned?”
“You’ll see,” he assured her.
Fiora was curious, but she trusted that answers would come as she focused on her own work. It took several minutes, but she did get to see what he was talking about as a large bird, or more specifically, a corvid, flew down from the trees where it landed on Daegal’s back. The crow hopped around on top of him, seemingly without fear as it began to look around and even peck at his back. Fiora was flabbergasted as she watched the crow.
“What... how... why is that crow not afraid?”
“Because they’re getting fed. Please be quiet, I don’t want them scared off.” He spoke in a lower tone, emphasizing that he didn’t wish to spook the bird that was happily pecking at his back, digging its beak into the gap between his scales.
The crow was joined by another a minute later, and the two birds squabbled a bit on Daegal’s back before coming to a silent agreement that they could share. Fiora watched with fascination as the birds worked, digging between and underneath his scales. She wanted to ask many questions but remained silent as Daegal requested.
About fifteen minutes later, the crows had scoured every inch of his back and then took off back into the trees. Daegal sat up again, and Fiora took the opportunity.
“What was that? How did you get the crows to do that?”
“Do you know how hard it is to clean beneath scales? It takes me hours just to clean the parts that I can easily reach, and it’s impossible to get my back even remotely clean by myself. Bugs tend to take advantage of that quite frequently, but thankfully the crows were curious enough to help me. It was actually an accident as I fell asleep on a rock and woke up to them pecking at my back. It surprised me, but I realized what they were doing and let them continue. After that they learned that I wasn’t going to attack them, and that they could get an easy meal out of it.”
“Wow, you really taught the crows to help you like that?” She chuckled a bit. “Most of the people around the market just complain about them stealing food or anything shiny that is left lying around.”
Daegal simply hummed in acknowledgment while waiting for her to complete her work on his cloak. While he waited, Fiora filled the time with idle chatter and a few questions here and there. The longer they talked, the more normal everything felt to him. It was strange to be speaking with a human again, and the frustration that he normally felt was distant now.
Fiora had made good progress on his cloak, and she stopped working on it for a second as she asked a question. “What do you think of humans, Daegal?”
That question was rather abrupt, and he had to consider it before answering. Naturally his opinion of humans in general was rather unfavorable.
“Greedy, violent, selfish.” His answer was simple and to the point. Fiora sort of expected and answer like that, but even so, it still made her cringe a bit at the scathing review.
“Well, not all of us, right?” She gave him a sheepish grin, hoping that his opinion of her was different than the others.
When she said ‘not all of us’, his first thought wasn’t her, but Adelaide. When he redirected his thoughts enough to consider Fiora again, he was at an impasse. He didn’t know her all that well, but she didn’t seem like she was bad, perse. Annoying, stubborn, doesn’t have an ounce of self-preservation, but not bad.
“I guess not,” he finally said.
Fiora beamed a happy smile at being accepted by his standards, even if she didn’t know it was just barely. She got back to work on the cloak with a chipper attitude, humming a little tune as she restitched the various pieces of hide together. Daegal watched her work with that smile on her face, and he couldn’t help but feel melancholic. This whole situation reminded him of the days he spent with Adelaide as she worked on her drawings. The tightness in his chest increased at that thought, threatening to spill out. He spent so long wrestling with his own emotions that he failed to notice the passage of time.
When Fiora next spoke up, it startled him somewhat as she held up his cloak victoriously. “Ahh, there we go. Took more work than I expected, but this should hold up much better now. Try it on!”
She eagerly foisted the cloak back into Daegal’s claws, stupefying him for a second before he focused on the work that she had done. All his sloppy and crooked stitches were redone in nice, orderly rows. The segmented hides were now tightly woven together with no discernable gap between them. It looked far better than anything he could have done, and when he draped it over his body again, he noticed that it was a lot warmer than before.
“So, do you like it?” she asked.
Daegal pulled the cloak a little tighter around him, enjoying how it even fit better now. “Yes, it’s... quite good.”
“That’s great! I’m happy that it turned out so well. I was a little worried that I may have tightened it up too much and it wouldn’t fit properly.”
Her selfless act and good-natured smile were breaking through more of his defenses by the second. He felt his throat tighten as he struggled with his emotions before he forced the words he needed to say out of his mouth.
“I... Thank you, Fiora.”
She looked surprised for a moment as he thanked her, but then she smiled warmly at him. “You’re very welcome, Daegal.”
The few seconds that followed were a little awkward for Daegal, but they still felt nice. Eventually Fiora looked up and noticed how far the sun had moved across the sky.
“Darn, it’s already this late? I better get moving if I want to avoid an interrogation,” she mumbled that last bit to herself more than Daegal, though he could still hear it clearly.
“You’re leaving?” he asked, his heart stinging at the thought.
“I have to, I'm afraid. My cover story for coming out here was that I was in search of rare herbs for my father. I at least need to come back with something to show that I was looking or else there will be no end to the questions.”
“I... I see.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll come back to see you tomorrow as well, so long as my dad doesn’t find some reason to keep me in the house.”
He didn’t know if she somehow sensed his apprehension of her leaving, but whatever the case, it did help, just a little. She made sure she had collected all her things and then set her gaze to the surrounding forest.
“Well, wish me luck. Maybe if I collect enough of the normal herbs, everyone will overlook it if I fail to come back with anything exceptional.” She nervously chuckled as she gave Daegal a quick wave goodbye. “Have a nice rest of your day, Daegal.”
He hesitated just a moment, but then Daegal raised his hand, presenting a palm as he silently waved goodbye to her. She left after that, beginning her search for any useful plants to fulfill her obligations. Daegal stayed like that for a minute after she left, hand raised as if he was a statue. Eventually his hand did fall limply at his side as he numbly turned away and walked back to his home.
His thoughts were vacant as he moved, as were his emotions. The only thing that caught his attention on the way back was when he passed a small glade with wildflowers growing in it. He stopped to pick a few before continuing.
Once he arrived at his home, he let out a sigh as he relaxed a little. He glanced at his roommate, and the doll remained silent, just as it had since he yelled at them. It still hurt when he thought about it, so he tried to focus on the task at hand.
He moved to the far wall and kneeled by Adelaide’s drawings. Many of the wooden slabs were charred and blackened, the pictures that had been upon their faces barely even noticeable beneath the damage. Daegal didn’t care about their condition. He could remember exactly what each of them was meant to depict, and he could see them in his head.
Moving slowly and with reverence, he removed the older corn flowers from around the wooden slabs and replaced them with new ones. Once all the faded flowers had been replaced, he sat back with a sigh, looking longingly into the pictures and recalling every moment he spent during their creation.
Silence reigned for several minutes as he reminisced, and when he finally spoke, it was in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
“Adelaide... It’s been so long since I last heard your voice, and I need to hear it now more than ever. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I... I still feel so angry at humans, but when I face Fiora, I just can’t anymore. I’m tired. Tired of being angry, tired of being alone, and it scares me. I don’t want to feel the way I did when I lost you again, but I can’t keep living like this either. Everything is so confusing that I feel like I’m going mad.”
He let out a shuddering breathe and then smiled weakly. “I know you’d probably tell me not to worry so much, encourage me to be brave, try to push down on my head a bit after seeing how big I’ve gotten.” His chuckle was sad and melancholic. “I know you’d want me to, but I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.”
Daegal took a slow, deep breathe as he calmed his troubled heart. “You were always there for me, and I told myself I would do anything for you. It’s difficult for me to even think about letting someone that close to me, but I know what you’d say, and I know what you’d do, so I know what my answer must be.”
He swallowed a lump in his throat. “I’ll try, Adelaide.” His eyes were watering, and his heart ached, but even so, he kept his chin up as he put on a brave face.
“I’ll try.”
