I knew it was a dream, but every detail was so accurate, so painfully faithful to reality, that it just felt like more than just a dream, it was a re-enactment, a memory brought to life.
My ability to recall things in such vivid detail often comes across as a blessing, but in moments like these, it was nothing short of a curse. The metallic scent in the air, so thick it was almost suffocating, dragged me back into that day. My mind began to blur at the edges, overwhelmed, teetering on the brink like a volcano about to erupt. And then, as always, the eruption came, chaos unleashed, only to be silenced by the cold, unforgiving strike of a sword. Pain followed, searing and sharp, stabbing through me until I, as always, jolted awake from the nightmare that haunted me over and over again.
***
I jolted awake, gasping for air, my hand instinctively patting down the areas of my body where I had just felt the sword cleave through me. The lingering sensation of the blade vanished as reality slowly came back into focus. I looked around. I was still in the newly discovered dungeon, the cold concrete floor beneath me a stark contrast to the dream. How long have I been here? A day? Two? The lack of sunlight had completely skewed my sense of time. I only knew I’d been awake for more than 24 hours because I’d felt hunger at least three times already.
It was during one of those hunger pangs that Dungeon Master 07 and I decided to set up camp. I closed my eyes, just for a moment, and then that same dream claimed me once more.
Dungeon Master 07 was seated a few meters away, his back against the wall, polishing his greatsword. Without looking up, he asked, "That nightmare again?"
He was familiar with my nightly battles. We’d traveled together long enough that he knew how often they plagued me. I nodded, wiping the beads of sweat from my forehead. He didn’t say anything more, just handed me a , which I accepted gratefully.
The silence stretched between us, comforting in its own way. But eventually, Dungeon Master 07 broke it, his voice breaking through the quiet with a question that felt out of the blue. "Missing Dungeon Master 09?"
I overanalyzed his question immediately, my mind spinning into high gear, searching for the reason behind his sudden mention of Dungeon Master 09. I came to one. But I decided to play along. "I suppose," I replied, then added with a genuine chuckle, "I’m particularly missing how adept he is at breaking any lingering silence."
"I’m not so sure about the ‘adept’ part," he responded with a smirk. "He does always manage to kill the silence, but he’s... usually too clumsy about it."
"Don’t blame him," I said with a smile, but my words trailed off as I added, "He’s just a chi—" I caught myself before finishing the sentence.
He’s just a child. That was what I was about to say. The words were true, but they felt wrong. Dungeon Master 09 was a child, yes, but he was also a Dungeon Master, an equal to me. I couldn’t bring myself to see him as just what he appeared to be—especially not in front of Dungeon Master 07.
The silence returned, heavier this time. I wanted to break it, to change the subject like Dungeon Master 09 would, but I hesitated, remembering how Dungeon Master 07 had just criticized his clumsiness. After a moment, I decided to go for it anyway. I looked at Dungeon Master 07, who immediately noticed the resolute expression on my face and frowned.
"Say, Dungeon Master 07," I began, confronting him, "you mentioned Dungeon Master 09 because I mentioned name while dreaming, right?" I put strong emphasis on .
He looked at me with an apprehensive glare, as if I was laying a trap for him. After a moment, he just nodded.
"I see," I said, letting the words hang in the air.
"...You did today," he began. "Just like you do every time you have that nightmare… Let’s just say it always happens. Dungeon Master 09 can confirm that."
"Hahaha…Well, that’s embarrassing..." I muttered, trying to hide my face, feeling the flush of shame creep up on me.
After a pause, I asked him, "Has it ever occurred to you to ask about it? Ask whose name is it that I’m always calling?"
He hesitated again, and I could see apprehension again in his eyes.
After a long, drawn-out pause, Dungeon Master 07 finally spoke. "I can’t say I haven’t. I just felt like even if I were to ask, I wasn’t going to get an answer," he explained, then looked directly at me. "Is it going to be different if I ask now?"
"Well, since you insist that much, what can I do but explain?" I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. "I omitted to mention it that night when we tried to catch up on one another, but when I spoke of my first incarnation in Fiendfell, I wasn’t just the daughter of a woman with questionable taste in men. I also, because of her poor tastes, became an older sister to a little boy. His name was Leo, uninspired, I know, just the male version of my own back then."
It came out in one breath. I avoided Dungeon Master 07’s gaze as I, feeling that I had to, continued, a small, nostalgic smile tugging at my lips.
I told him about Leo, my first incarnation’s and Liana's little brother. Told him that since our house was far from the city and our mother, despite her poor taste, wasn't jobless, she was mostly absent during the day, trying to put bread on our table. So, it fell to me to take care of him.
I told how Leo loved berries, particularly the blue ones. Not for any pragmatic reason; he just liked that color best. I told how Leo was a little tornado, despite being frail compared to the Verdenkind I was. Told him that there were at least two instances where I had to put his dislocated elbow back in place because our mom wasn’t there. I told him how Leo loved playing with our dog, Bufford, and how he cried so much when we buried that old dog, making him a grave behind the house.
I told Dungeon Master 07 all this, and so much more. Yet the moment I raised my gaze to finally meet his, all I saw was a frown as he asked, "why are you telling me all this?"
Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.
I leaned back against the concrete wall, trying to come up with an answer. Eventually, I just shrugged and said, "To be frank with you, I'm not sure myself. What do you think? What does it look like I’m doing?"
He narrowed his eyes, considering. "Snitching on yourself?"
"Snitching on myself," I echoed before bursting out laughing.
That was certainly one way to see it. I really was snitching on myself. Telling him all this was like laying out a list of my crimes, because that’s exactly what it was, what I just admitted to having developed attachment. And attachment, to us Dungeon Masters, was a crime. That, along with giving in to revenge, were the two things we had to avoid at all costs, and here I was, confessing to one of them.
"I don't like the sound of it. 'Snitching.' Makes me feel like a rat. I think 'confessing' sounds better. Yes…I was confessing to you."
"What are you confessing for?" He frowned.
I shrugged again. "I don’t know... maybe I was... hoping for punishment for this great sin, your Divine Emissary." My voice was part serious, part teasing, but from his unchanged expression, I could tell he only registered the serious half.
He remained silent for a long, drawn-out moment before he casually replied, "If that's what you're expecting of me, you might be asking the wrong person."
"What do you mean?"
He met my gaze steadily. "I may not scream it from the rooftops like you just did, but I, too, have committed that 'crime.' I, too, had people I cared about, people from this world."
I was taken aback, strangely, not because I was surprised that he had people he cared about, but rather because I wasn't all that surprised by his confession.
"Oh," I said in a teasing tone, the only way I could think to address it. "Who were these people? Friends? Lovers? Something like that?"
"No," he denied immediately, with a strange chuckle, "nothing like that. Much simpler, parents."
"Parents..."
"More precisely, mothers. You, of all people, should relate to that feeling. Your first mother, while, as you said, being a woman with questionable taste, was still a very respectable and lovable person, right?"
I nodded, unable to agree more.
"Well, it’s like that," he said, a genuine smile forming on his face. But when he noticed me staring at him, he slightly avoided my gaze, and I could identify the hint of embarrassment.
In a very noticeable attempt to ward off his embarrassment, I could tell, Dungeon Master 07 continued, "I don't have your memory; I don’t…I’m not even sure I faithfully remember their faces but when I think about I’m happy to have had them as parents… I think we never got to feel that in our old life, but there’s something about the way I realized I was being loved that… You know what? What I’m trying to say is that while I never went as far as to admit it, I think I genuinely cared about them. So tell me, how am I supposed to judge you?"
I paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. While it didn’t make my case any better, there was something reassuring about knowing you’re not the only one in deep shit. That’s what I felt here, company is comforting, whether in good times or misery. Especially in misery.
I smiled, one that Dungeon Master 07 didn’t miss to notice.
"You're thinking I’m as terrible as you, aren’t you?" He pointed accusingly.
"I can’t deny that it’s something along those lines," I admitted.
"Just so you know, while we may be equally terrible in that one aspect, I, at least, don’t have any burning desire for revenge."
"I don't either," I replied, trying to sound convincing.
He looked at me, clearly not believing my words. "Am I supposed to believe that?"
"If it's the bandits, as I told you, I exterminated them to harvest their cursed memories, not because of what happened in that one incarnation."
"That wasn't the reason I said that."
"Then..." I pondered, then added, "if it’s because of what I did with the traitorous handlers, that wasn’t technically my revenge... I mean, even if it was, I didn't kill them, they did. Anyway, my point is: it wasn’t revenge."
He shook his head resignedly. "It wasn’t that either. I'm talking about what happened the other day, when you and your…that Wei? met. I wouldn’t go as far as to compare you to that one lunatic but from the way you glared at him back then, I could easily picture you killing that Wei?, if not doing worse, to him out of revenge if you happened to have the power to."
"You really think I want to kill him in revenge for what happened to my family back then?"
"So you're telling me that if given the power and the excuse, you wouldn’t exterminate that family?"
I raised both hands as if to absolve myself. "I mean, when you put it like that..."
He sighed, took a pause as he always does, then said, "I will say it once, and only once. If you really want to go down that path, I can help you, both with the power and the excuse."
I blinked, surprised. Truly surprised. His offer was clearly to help me eradicate the Wei? family. That was literally the last thing I expected to hear from someone as uptight as he was.
"Dungeon Master 07, unless I'm misunderstanding, you’re offering to help me exterminate the Wei? family, right?"
He took a moment to seize me up and down, before answering, "You could see it like that, but from my perspective, what I’m offering is a way to get rid of a problem that’s going to keep haunting you. Who knows? Maybe with the entire bloodline gone, there’ll be no nightmares anymore."
Chuckling at that grim but quite warm suggestion, I stared at the serious Dungeon Master 07, considering his offer. It didn’t take me long to come to a decision.
"I might be a case, but I’m not that far gone. I, admittedly, hate that family to my core, but I’m still objective enough to know that there’s no point in exterminating them. They’re, kind of, innocent of what happened back then. If I wanted revenge, true revenge against those that truly deserved it, I lost my chance decades ago."
I smiled at him and said, with genuine warmth in my voice, "But thanks for the offer. I really appreciate it... like I appreciated how you made him kneel the other day."
He responded with a dismissive wave. "It was nothing. You could have been making him kneel yourself if you were stronger."
"Unfortunately I wasn’t, but It's coming along," I replied, summoning my status interface into the corner of my vision, noting my newly acquired stats.
It’s only been a day, two if I’m being generous, and although I haven’t leveled up yet, with the pace I’ve been accumulating experience, I reckon I’ll hit the next level in another day, maybe less. Dungeon Master 07 and I have slaughtered hordes of spawns, well, mostly me, to the point I’m starting to worry whether there will be enough left to get me to the level I’m aiming for: somewhere around level thirty. That’s the tier of level where he and Justaff are, but I’m not deluding myself. I’m already level 27, a Highbreed. Something like me would be a god among men in the world I came from.
Heck, it still is, even here in Fiendfell. Anyone who makes it past level 10 is already considered elite even in lines of work that highly value levels, like being a Handler. I’ve come to accept that I won’t be leveling up as quickly as I used to. The experience comes fast, but the experience requirements are reaching astronomical heights. It’s going to get more and more taxing from now on, all the way to level 50. But that’s so far away. One might be tempted to think that since I’m at level 27, I’m halfway there, but that couldn’t be more wrong. Numerically, it’s right, but with the experience requirements growing exponentially, so yeah so far, further down the road.
Staring at those numbers, and foreseeing how much higher they’ll get, I realized something. No, that’s not right. I’ve known it for a while, but now it feels more urgent than ever.
As I’m lost in my thoughts, Dungeon Master 07 interrupts, "Say, Dungeon Master 08, one last thing."
"What is it?" I asked, closing the status display.
"I’ve noticed it for a while now. While you were explaining yourself earlier, I was hoping you’d confirm it, but you didn’t. It’s about Dungeon Master 09. Is there something in particular about him that reminds you of Leo?"
"Oh," I say, the understanding dawning on me. A smile tugs at my lips, followed by a chuckle, partly self-deprecating, partly because of the thick layer of laughable irony that coated the answer. "It’s not really just a particular aspect," I begin to clarify..
"It’s everything. The face, the voice, even the age."
Dungeon Master 07 doesn’t seem all that surprised. It’s as if my words just confirmed a theory he already had. "I see," he says simply, nodding slightly.