At the edge of the universe is a place best known for its fried Voogins. It is a small little stall that orbits a rather hostile and vulgar planet. The residents are quite friendly, however.

  The stall resembles the food trucks of the planet Earth, just cleaner and healthier. Its specialty, at least for now, is fried Voogins. A rather unique creature.

  On its homeworld it almost went extinct. Not from hunting, predators, or natural disasters. No. See, this creature is an utter moron and can go for days, sometimes weeks, without eating. Not for lack of food, mind you. They just forget to eat.

  Anyway, the owner of the stall, Girry, was visiting the Voogins' planet in search of ingredients. And, on one particular day, he smelled something amazing. Something he had never smelled before. So, he followed the smell.

  It led him to a volcanic area reeking of sulfur, and in a pool of lava, lying on its back, was a perfectly cooked Voogin.

  The smell of the creature was intoxicating. He stared at it, mouth watering and dripping to the floor, evaporating. At first, he was a bit apprehensive about eating it. Mainly due to its appearance.

  Not the most gorgeous of creatures. It walks with a limp, has a hump, has green patchy hair, and has a head the shape of a pear. Their entire lives are spent either mating or dying. In unique ways. One such death actually involved a rock, a leaf, and a bit of moss. You wouldn't believe the mess.

  Well, Girry had eventually steeled himself and cut a few chunks of meat and ate it. It was unlike anything he had ever eaten: salty, sweet, smoky, fatty, and very stringy. Immediately, his head was filled with all kinds of ideas, from salads to sandwiches.

  While daydreaming of customers, he ate his fill. An hour later, he walked around to find more.

  A big herd was actually not too far from the lava pool. So, he rounded up a few, led them to his ship, and crammed them inside. Pleased with himself, he left them with a bit of food, which they forgot to eat, and went out again to find other ingredients.

  While searching, he came across a variety of flora and fauna. Trees that wiggled, bushes that vanished underground when approached, flightless birds with scales, and slow lumbering herbivores the size of houses. The rocks, however, were very grumpy and had even shouted at him. He kicked them and moved on.

  It didn't take long for the sun to start setting, so before it got dark, he returned to his ship and left the planet. It took him only a week to get back to his stall. Once there, he wasted no time building a pen to house the Voogins. Once inside, they promptly started breeding. Apparently, they breed just as fast as they die.

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  In just two days, their numbers had doubled. Then promptly declined due to starvation. Girry also noticed that they matured extremely fast. This was perfect for him since it meant that he didn't have to slaughter them. He just had to wait, gather the corpses, chop them up, and cook.

  This cycle of mating, maturing, dying, and cooking went on for a few days. In that time he tried all sorts of recipes, some of them his and others from his grandmother. From boiling to solar radiation baking, he tried them all. Ultimately, the best-tasting recipe was a simple one. Deep-fried Voogin.

  With his dish set, he opened his doors.

  Word of the dish spread through the universe at faster-than-light speeds. It was so loud and fast that it startled a flock of migrating asteroids. A few of them collided with each other, causing minor injuries. Mildly upset, they filed a complaint the next day.

  Even the culinary planet, Zao, heard of the dish. So, they shrugged, spat, and carried on cooking.

  A few years went by, and the popularity of the dish didn't die. In fact, it got more popular. Money flowed, and business was good. Girry was able to pay off his stall, house, swimming pool, and his single gold-plated sock. The other one got stolen by a creature called a Migy.

  Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

  Not from fires, competition, or even disgruntled ex-wives taking half his business. No. Complaints. Girry had finally caught the attention of radical protesters. All eight of them gathered outside his stall, chanting mindless slogans.

  "Voogins are not food!"

  "Voogins have eyes!"

  "Voogins are just like us!"

  Well, those are a few of the things they shouted. Technically true, but still rather incorrect. Voogins didn't even realize that they were being eaten, so they aren't like the other species. At all.

  But the universe is a cruel place, and threats started piling up. Things were being said like, "I hope you have a bad day!" And, "I'm going to steal your underpants!" That was unnerving for Girry since he only had one pair of undies.

  Weeks later, he finally accepted defeat and released the Voogins, who promptly meandered into the nearby sun. All eight protesters watched in horror; they cried, they screamed, and mindlessly ran in after them. Apparently, they had forgotten that a sun is very, very hot.

  Girry watched, shook his head, and decided to take a trip to another planet. Mainly to relax after all the chaos, but also to find something else to cook.

  It didn't take him very long. On a planet about eight light-years away, he found a species of crab that actively tries to boil itself. They were perfect for him, and over the course of a few days, he refined his capture method. Step one, build a fire. Step two, put a large pot on top to boil water. Step three, add veggies. Final step: sit back, ring a bell once, and wait.

  Crabs will come crawling from every nook and cranny straight into the pot.

  They don't resemble Earth crabs, though. They have eight legs, four eyes, soft red skin with fur, hands with claws, and spikes protruding from their back. So, why the name 'crab'? Well, because they crawl on and around rocks. Obviously.

  Anyway, with his new ingredient cooking away and new ideas for meals, we'll leave him here for now with his crabs, pot, and toilet paper.