CHAPTER 21

  "Did you think I'd crumble?

  Did you think I'd lay down and die?

  Oh, no, not I

  I will survive

  Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive

  I've got all my life to live

  I've got all my love to give

  And I'll survive

  I will survive, hey, hey"

  -Gloria Gaynor

  ...

  Penny wiped her eyes and looked back at Carl. His eyes were open.

  "Carl! You're awake!"

  She held his hand, his eyes slid from the pictures of his family back to Penny. He could feel the flutter in his chest, he wanted to cry, to scream, to tell her about the life they had lived together.

  He stayed silent.

  He would not let grief take him again.

  This was grief for a life that didn't exist. Why did it seem so real in his head?

  He couldn't speak to her about it.

  It didn't matter.

  This was real.

  This mattered.

  "How long?"

  "Just over eighteen months."

  A year and a half. That can't be right.

  "No."

  "I'm afraid so Carl."

  "What happened?"

  "You dont remember?"

  He closed his eyes and tried to think. His thoughts were a mess. He was just at the races with Steve...but he wasn't.

  Remember real life.

  Remember.

  The barn. The corpses. The basement.

  "Rift eight."

  "Yes."

  "I remember coming back, my apartment was too hot...then, nothing."

  "Thats okay. We've been waiting for you."

  "Andy? Is he okay?"

  Penny looked at him, pain on her face.

  "No!"

  Carl sat upright as he yelled it, everything ached.

  "No, Carl, he's still alive. Look, when youre feeling better, all will be explained."

  He laid back down, his eyes locked onto her ice blue eyes.

  He wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her. His eyes slid back to the pictures on the ceiling. Penny saw him staring at them.

  "I thought you would want to see them when you woke up. Nano gave me copies."

  "Nano."

  "I'm here Carl."

  He looked down, on his arm was a silver bracelet.

  "Where's the rest of you?"

  "On a mission."

  "Oh, thats where Andy is."

  Penny squeezed his hand.

  This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

  "No. Andy was infected with you."

  "Well, who..."

  "Carl. I agreed to keep working with Phillip and the team under one condition. Only Steve could wear the suit. He is the only one I knew you fully trusted besides Penny."

  "Steve is...really?"

  Penny smiled and laughed a little.

  "Its hard to believe, but he really stepped up. He did it for you."

  Carls eyes welled up.

  "Steve is the best."

  "Yeah, hes pretty great."

  "Why didnt you put on the suit?"

  "I'm not built for that sort of thing."

  Carl looked down at his thin body.

  "I guess I'm not anymore either."

  "You will be again."

  Carl gave her a smirk that told her he didnt believe that.

  "Trust me Carl...you're going to be ok."

  She squeezed his hand again and started to get up.

  "No, dont go..."

  Penny looked at him and smiled, she sat back down and took his hand again.

  "...just a little longer."

  "Ok Carl."

  It might not have been real, but he wanted to hold on to it just a few moments more.

  Penny pushed his wheelchair up to the conference table. Carl was leaning to the right, his body atrophied.

  He felt awful.

  His muscles ached, it felt like he was trying to swallow cottonballs, he had bruises on his arms from the IVs. He raised his head to look around, the only member of the team besides him and Penny was Andy. He was also in a wheelchair and Carl was taken aback at how much weight he had lost. Andy used to be built like a football player. Now he looked like a light breeze could pick him up and fly him away.

  "Andy...how are you?"

  "I'm here. You?"

  "Same."

  The room went silent. Penny cleared her throat and sat down.

  "They'll be here in a min..."

  "CARL!"

  Steve ran over to Carl, he was still wearing the suit. He stepped backwards and he and Nano seperated. He leaned down and gave Carl an awkward hug.

  "I've missed you buddy."

  Carls lip quivered and he took Steve's hand and patted it.

  He just didnt have the words.

  "Hey, you're going to be ok."

  He stood and sat next to Penny.

  Carl was impressed.

  Steve had been hitting the gym apparently. He filled out his shirt now. Steve hadn't just stepped up, he had committed.

  Matt walked in followed by Royles.

  "Its good to see you again Carl...I've got good news!"

  Royles put a hand on Matts shoulder.

  "One thing at a time."

  "Oh, right."

  He smiled at Carl and took his seat.

  That left Royles standing next to him.

  "Sir."

  Royles knelt next to the chair.

  "There have been some changes since you and Andy went into a coma. Changes for the better. Changes that needed to happen because I screwed up."

  "What?"

  Royles looked at the floor, then back at Carl.

  "I'm sorry I failed you. If you can find it within you to forgive me, I know I can earn your trust again."

  Carl stared at him. He was trying so hard to remember. There was just nothing there. What could Royles have done?

  "Sir...I have always trusted you. You're a good man."

  Royles stuck his hand out. Carl started to reach for it, then stopped. He slid his feet off the chair, used the table to pull himself to his feet. His legs and feet hurt something awful. He didnt care.

  He took Royles hand and pulled him into a hug. Royles didnt move for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around Carl. For the first time, the whole team saw Royles, not as the infallible leader, but as the man trying to hold them all together. Matt said what they were all thinking.

  "So Royles is human after all."

  There were some chuckles. Carl and Royles ignored them.

  "Whatever happened, I know you were just trying to make the right choices."

  "Thank you."

  Royles helped him back into the chair.

  Then turned away and wiped his eyes.

  He went to the head of the table, sniffed and cleared his throat.

  "We have a lot to discuss."

  "Outside of the inquest, no one has seen these tapes. After today, no one ever will. I want you to know the truth though. People talk, rumors get started. I don't want you wondering. Carl...this won't be easy to watch."

  Carl stayed silent.

  "The footage had been edited together to show the full events of that night."

  Royles pressed play.

  The screen showed Andy walking unsteadily down the hallway. Halfway to his room he collapsed. He lay there a moment then crawled to Penny's door and hit it weakly. Penny opened the door, she saw Andy and immediately got him up, throwing his arm over her shoulder. She yelled for help...

  ...Nano had Carl pinned to the wall. Royles limped over to them. Carl grabbed Royles by the neck. He struggled a moment then jabbed the syringes in Carls chest. Royles body went limp. Carl was still growling and snapping at Nano. He started to slow, finally he went slack and Nano lowered him to the ground. Two Gov-tac agents ran over and used tentacle cuffs on his feet and arms. Nano then lifted him and walked to the science wing. The camera switched to Matts lab, Nano placed Carl in the tank in the corner. Matt ran in, he fiddled with some stuff on his shelves until he found a bottle, he started mixing things. Royles hit the stop button.

  "After that, Matt filled the tank with a heavy sedative gas. We kept you there until we could get the medical team to place you in a medically induced coma."

  Carls mouth hung open. His eyes were wet again.

  "I'm sorry."

  He said it quietly.

  "Carl."

  He looked up at Penny.

  "You dont need to apologize, because it wasn't you."

  He understood the logic. It was the infection.

  It sure looked like him though.

  This was a nightmare.

  Maybe he was still dreaming.

  He shifted in the chair, every muscle screaming at him. It didnt feel like a dream.

  Fuck.

  "Matt, you're up."

  Matt nodded at Royles and turned to Carl.

  "Promise me you won't get mad, ok? Hear me out and you will understand."

  Carl said nothing.

  Matt had a stack of papers and folders. He picked them up, walked over to Carl and placed them in front of him.

  "I synthesized some of the serum. It was easy to reverse engineer. So I mixed it with some of your blood and I think I have a compound that will get you on your feet in no time."

  He stared at Matt. He wanted to be angry. Hell, he wanted to be scared, if that serum got out on this world he'd be responsible for screwing something else up. Matt was just trying to help though. Matt was a good guy. His eyes landed on the papers, then he looked at Andy.

  God, he looked pitiful.

  "What about Andy?"

  "I tried...I can't make it work without giving him powers, and thats not my decision to make."

  Matt looked at Royles.

  "Thats not my decision either. Andrew is a military veteran and a damn fine agent. I trust him. Its up to him."

  Carl looked at Andy.

  "I'm not taking it if it leaves you broken. We come back together."

  Andy and Carl stared at each other for a long time. Carl wasnt uncomfortable though, he meant what he said. It was only fair. He let Andy search his eyes, never wavering. Finally Andy asked.

  "Does it hurt?"

  "No."

  "Then I'm in. I can't live like...this."

  He looked down at himself then back at Carl.

  "I know."

  Matt got up and retrieved the papers in front of Carl.

  "Alright bud, I'll need these a bit longer then."

  "What is that exactly?"

  "Every bit of research and notes on the serum. I admit as a scientist, its hard for me to let go of this discovery. It doesn't belong to me though. It belongs to you. Once I finish mixing up a serum for Andy, its all yours. Keep it, burn it, whatever you decide, your secret is safe with me."

  "Thank you Matt. You understand why I don't want that getting out, right?"

  "I do."

  Carl nodded.

  Royles got up and walked to Carl and set down the vial of anti-serum.

  "I pocketed this, so the investigators never saw it. The only people that know are in this room."

  "I appreciate that."

  "Its yours to do with as you like, but after we've taken care of you and Andy, I strongly advise you to destroy it."

  Carl picked it up with shaky hands. The little vial had been a curse, now it was his savior.

  "I agree."

  "There are policy and procedural changes we need to go over, but that can wait. I know both of you are uncomfortable. Let me finish this up, so you can go rest. Nano has been working overtime for us, even when hes not on a mission, hes been helping us go through evidence. I alternated between the two of you, for who was clocked in. It allowed me to keep your apartments empty and for both of you to continue collecting a paycheck. Its not exactly policy, so It would be to everyone's benefit if that remains between us. Any questions?"

  Carl raised his hand.

  "Yes?"

  "The serial killer case..."

  He looked at Penny.

  "...how did that shake out?"

  She grinned at him.

  "Remember us talking about that red truck?"

  "Yes, I think so."

  "That was the key, you helped me catch him."

  "You did the work, i appreciate you including me, I'm just glad hes caught."

  "Well...killed."

  "Oh. Well, I saw those photos. The world is better without him. Now, umm, anything else? I'm in serious pain and I'm sure Andy is too."

  Royles stood.

  "No, you're all dismissed."

  Penny was wheeling him through the lobby, back to his bed in the infirmary.

  "Can you hold up a second?"

  Penny stopped.

  "Whats up?"

  "Can you take me over to Winston?"

  She wheeled him over to the guard booth.

  "Hey man."

  "Hey Carl."

  "I'm really sorry."

  "Oh, its ok. Royles had a big meeting with everyone that was there that night. We know it wasn't you."

  "Still, I never wanted to hurt anyone."

  Winston stepped out of the booth and came around to Carl. He put his hand on Carls shoulder.

  "We're good Carl. I'm just glad to see you out of bed."

  "I'm actually headed back now."

  "You know what I mean."

  "I do. Thanks Winston."

  "Are you sure you dont want any help?"

  "No."

  Carls arm shook as he pulled himself to his feet, he still had his superstrength, but it was no good if his muscles hurt too much to use.

  He was sweating now.

  He heard Penny sigh behind him.

  "Please let me help you Carl...it doesn't make you less of a man."

  He laughed.

  "You're sweet, but no. I need to do this."

  He kind of fell forward onto the bed, rolled over and painfully pulled his legs up. The sweat was dripping off his nose now. He finally got himself situated and looked at Penny.

  "See. I'm good."

  "Fair enough."

  She walked to the bathroom, found a washcloth, wet it and returned. She wiped his sweaty face.

  "Thanks."

  "Youre welcome."

  "I mean it. Thank you for everything. It was your voice that pulled me back."

  She smiled at him. She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

  "I'm just glad you're on your way to recovery...we all are. Now get some rest. I'm gonna turn in for the night."

  "Good night."

  "Night Carl."

  She left the room. Andy was the only other person in the room and he was asleep.

  He turned his head into the pillow to muffle the sobs and Carl finally let it out.