Chapter 3: Twain Forest

  “Ugh… Cyborgs… Y’know they used to be Human slaves by the American Empire, right?” asked Gerard, riding Bite. “Honestly gross that you ate them…”

  She just growled, making a scoff.

  “Shit...” said Gerard, reaching the Twain Forest.

  The Twain Forest, basically an Ice Age oasis, is absolutely stunning, with warmth due to the Mutant Trees inside. He entered, and there, he smiled and immediately went to hunting.

  Bite charges into the forest, where Bite bites the neck of a Bison as Gerard decapitates it, leading to it falling to the ground.

  Gerard smiles, proceeding to cut the meat and turn it again, into pemmican. The huge portion, however, like half the bison meat, was turned into steak for them to eat, along with some Risotto he acquired from Shikakow.

  He smiled, making a puree as the pup, Fred, smiled and waddled on two legs toward Gerard. Gerard smiles gently and feeds the pup, silently, and the pup happily eats.

  Evening came, and Bite slept near the fire, wrapping her tail around Gerard and Fred. Bite is revealed to have made a nest for Fred to sleep in, as she sighs and roosts above them both.

  The trio slept the night, but that evening, little Fred heard something in the forest. He smiles and waddles out of Bite’s tail, falling face-first, but rolling over to take a look around. His fluffy fur and his two adorable eyes looked around, and he wandered.

  He smiled, waddling around, only for a giant, strange statue to just stare down at him, standing fully still.

  The pup stepped forward, and its eyes glowed red. The pup smiled with wonder, only for Gerard to immediately grab him and slap a blast away with his katana, only to be brutally burned in the arm regardless.

  The statue, with moss and vines all over, began moving, whirring, with a creaking sound of old rusted metal. The giant robot the size of three grizzlies whirred and roared before charging toward Gerard.

  Gerard zooms around the giant and cuts its heel, but the giant metallic statue just keeps roaring and stomping. “Taloses… One of the Old gods of the forest…”

  “In service of the United States Government, vested in us the power of authority. Stand down. Genetically-engineered hybrid detected,” it spoke in a deep voice so loud that it vibrated their hearts. On his chest said, “T.A.L.O.S.” Which stood for, according to it. “Technological American Lure Obtain and Salvage Unirt. Reporting for duty! President Doughnut Trumpet w-w-w-will surely be pleased! Oh me oh my! Eliminating threat to the good American people!” He kept on blasting at them. “Eliminat-nat-nating the threat of the good American people!!!”

  One of the blasts manages to shoot and burn the face of Bite, angering Gerard. “Geneteically-engineered threat, neutralized! Beginning Extraction!”

  Gerard roars and begins beating his chest, charging and scaling the creature’s leg, chewing the metal off.

  Suddenly, Gerard crashes into a tree as the TALOS Unit prepares to blast him.

  “Obtaining Genome!” spoke the Talos, only for a strange Cyborg to grab Gerard and his pup, blitzing away.

  Bite roars, as several other cyborgs grab her and pull her away. The Talos recognized these Cyborgs.

  “Ah! True Americans!” The Talos immediately saluted them. “Thank you for your-your-your arrival! Deactiv-...” He shuts down and collapses, leading to a loud, distant thud.

  Gerard wakes up, with Bite beside him, being tended due to her latest injuries. Gerard immediately stood and rubbed her belly, causing her to purr. “Who… Who are you people?”

  “We are the Salvaged…” spoke a Cyborg designated as 69. “I know. Name’s 69. Haha. Very funny.”

  Gerard smiles. “Not at all!”

  “Uh… Okay? You’re weird. Um… Yeah. I’m like… The leader of the Salvaged. We’re like… a bunch of Americans turned into these Cyborgs to blend in and not get killed by Taloses.”

  “Wait… I thought Taloses only killed Non-Sapiens…” said Gerard.

  “Untrue. Taloses are very powerful. Reason why no one except us resides here. Place is rich with resources, oil, whatever… And like… No one goes here. This place is swarming with those guys. The Taloses were like… overridden with this digital virus that turned them into like… machines that kill any known organism and stuff… So… Huge bummer, man…” said 69. “Now, we just survive with Splooge Cores. We’re… kinda immortal and eternally suffering so we just help around some guys who end up stumbling in this forest and stuff…

  “Oh… Can I go to Akteon now?” smiled Gerard.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa… For your own safety dude… DO NOT go there… I’m the leader since I’m the only one with a proper radio and speaker around here… right 32?”

  32 gives a thumbs up while applying medicine to Bite, who purrs.

  “Anywho… yeah… There was this other faction from us who were like… banished due to violence and stuff… Anywho… Um, like… Bro… Why do you wanna go there?”

  “To buy bread.”

  “Dude… That’s like… totally stupid, man…”

  “No! My uh… Dad… told me to go there. Bluford Ninjaheim. Well, he isn’t my REAL Dad… He’s-...”

  “Wait… You’re the lost child…”

  “Wait, wait what?” asked Gerard, as the pup hugged him out of fear from these strange-looking cyborgs with meat hanging from their metallic bones.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  “You’re like… the rightful heir to that Kingdom and stuff… And like… You can be King…”

  “Whoa… So… the bread’s free, then?”

  “No, dude. The bread was a lie. You’re like, going there to reclaim your throne and stuff.”

  “Um… That, my friend, is quite indeed bogus, since my father said I get to live my own life when I buy that bread. I’ll go back to Nueva Yorca, or maybe another country! Set up a tea shop! As I always wanted!”

  “Dude… You’re kinda civilzed for a Neanderthalensis Clone.”

  “Thanks! I don’t understand your words, but quite fucking indeed!” smiled Gerard.

  “Fine. Go. I mean, it IS your birthright,” said the Cyborg 69.

  “Um… Thanks! How?”

  “I’ll bring you across the forest, man… no worries… just… uh… I dunno… Uh… C’mon, bro…” He walked with a couple guards and Gerard and his steed followed out of the cave they were in, and into the forest…

  Chapter 4: The Blizzard

  Gerard looks in the distance, as 69 smiles and points to the horizon.

  “Keep goin’ there… See that like… gigantic forest in the horizon with those giant rocky mountains and stuff?” asked 69,

  “Yes?”

  “That place is called Coloradoyuta. It’s another huge oasis… Like the giant fucking forest we just crossed.”

  “We crossed that like… almost a month.”

  “Yeah. I kinda learned how much I hate you from that. Anywho, bro like… You kinda just like.. Go there.”

  “Really?”

  “Mhm. Straight ahead, dude.”

  “Like… This is where we part ways? Like, when you dry the leaves of tea from its rich fluid?”

  “I swear to fuck, if you talk about tea again, I will blow my motherboard out.”

  “Alright. Um… Very sorry, haha! Will… be going now! Straight ahead?”

  “Straight ahead.” 69 gives them a Splooge Cel. “Here.”

  “Wh… What is this white stuff?” asked Gerard.

  “Heh… You don’t wanna know.”

  Gerard mushed Bite forward, as the pup wagged his little tail and waved him goodbye.

  69 smiles and waves them goodbye back. “Heh… They’re gonna die…”

  One… month… later…

  “GAH!!!” Gerard and Bite growled, trying to fight the scathing blizzard by pushing forward.

  Bite began shivering from the cold, though bandaged, her injuries seemed to turn her feathers green instead of her pure reddish brown.

  Gerard’s eyes widen upon seeing this. He immediately looked every inch of the horizon before pointing to some sort of building in the distance.

  There, Gerard, Bite, and Little Fred stayed in. Here, this was, oddly enough, some sort of temple. It had blue walls and was spangled with white stars. Its pillars were white and red.

  Though unlike any temple seen by Gerard before, it was closed from the inside. This was strange, since temples and churches were open to all. This one was just shut off from the rest of the world.

  Gerard sighed and grabbed his two family members, turning their atoms into air, as they both phased through the wall. But much to Gerard’s delight and unsettle, he saw what was essentially a beautiful, hotel-like room with the entrance of a winding staircase in its center toward the bottom.

  Gerard and the other pair continued down.

  “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TEMPLE WAS BREACHED!!??!” In the distance, a couple of terrifying gigantic Remnants walked into the blizzard like it was just a soft breeze. “What idiot SAVAGE was capable of doing so!?”

  “I saw them, Frank. They just phased through!”

  “Ugh… Could be non-Americans, Melvin…”

  “Ugh… The stench of non-Americans drenches my nostrils with disgusted orgasm.”

  “Indeed. Perhaps let us pay these intruders a visit.” The taller, larger one of the pair, Frank, naturally enters the temple, which opens for them. Along with him was Melvin.

  Frank takes out a gigantic, deadly blaster, of which was the size of Gerard’s entire body. “Let’s kill the filthy Flippy!!! Y’KNOW WHAT THEY SAY!!! Any non-American is a Flippy!”

  “Damned straight, brother,” laughed Melvin. “Fuckin’ natural terrorists… Flippies… Ugh! Just the worst! With their creed? Remember that, brother?”

  “Hahahaha! ‘Kindness, equity, peace, hope-...’ Ugh! Makes me sick! Flippies are the worst! With their Pinoy leader, ‘Beatle Saint King!’ Thinks they’re Jewish or something!” Frank takes off his helmet, revealing a black man.

  The other takes off his helmet, revealing a Hispanic man. “Yeah!” Melvin laughed. “Fucking Outsiders think they suffered more than us! Hahaha! Who cares, right? They ACTUALLY THINK we colonized them!”

  “Absolute Baloney. America stands for freedom. The Philippines stands for WEAKNESS AND SAVAGERY!!!”

  Meanwhile… Gerard manages to find a healing station in one of the floors. He smiles and immediately applies some of the honey on Bite’s injury, causing her to grunt in pain.

  Sadly, the pup, Little Fred, began to whimper, seeing her in pain.

  “Shh…” Gerard cradled. “I know. I know. No worries, small chap. She’ll be ready in no time…” He smiled.

  Fred points to the strange tech and medications on the shelves.

  “No. That stuff seems to be… corrupt in some manner. Whatever it is, it isn’t natural… We are forbidden to touch that, according to Deeceephanism.Something atrociously unnatural.”

  Fred barks angrily.

  “Fred, shhh… This place looks like a temple that doesn’t welcome. Nothing ever comes good out of any religion that never welcomes.”

  Gerard’s eyes widen. He hears loud stomping down the staircase.

  Gerard immediately uses his speed to create a tripwire.

  He waits them out, and… they just… walk past it, tearing the metal wire with their legs.

  It’s the Remnants.

  “Brother… He’s a slave…” said Melvin.

  “Gaaaah! Darn it! I wanted to kill a Flippy!” sighed Frank. “Ah! Let’s do this thing! FOR THE REPUBLICAN CASINITE EMPIRE!!! Or… whatever…”

  Gerard backs away, shielding his two family members with his body. Bite even growls, keeping Fred behind her.

  He points his blaster at Gerard. “Listen… Uh… You phased in, so we’re deeming you as a Man Witch…” He chuckled. “Pretty gay, dude. Anyway! Uh… We’re gonna shoot you in the face, now. I really wish you can understand me.”

  “I CAN understand you, and please… We’re INJURED-!!!”

  “Bop!” He shoots Gerard in the face, horrifying Bite, who screeches angrily. “Heheheh. Look. I made his chicken all mad! Heheheh!”

  “Yo, Captain!” laughed Melvin. “Do the thing!”

  Captain Frank then moves slowly, not even viciously, and shatters her knees, causing her to screech and bite into his neck.

  Captain Frank just laughs. ”Wow! Feisty little cockfighter, huh?”

  “Yeaaaah!!!” laughed Melvin.

  Melvin grabs the pup, who screeches in fear, causing Gerard to roar, finally, muscles bulging, and proceeds to grab a shard of the glass he fell on, and stabs Melvin in the neck over and over.

  Melvin laughed and dropped the pup. “Aw! Somebody’s mad!”

  Melvin grabs Gerard’s arm and shatters his bones with a single touch. “Oof. Ah well. If I die, could you get the really hot Female 673 ready for my next Rebirth?”

  “Ah, sure Melv. No worries,” smiled Frank.

  Gerard kept roaring angrily at the inhumanity of these zealots, proceeding to stab him in the eye.

  “Ah, darn. Lost my eye.” Melvin laughed with Frank, before regenerating, horrifying Gerard. “Holly whoop!” Melvin slams Gerard into the vials that crush his spine, causing him to scream i horror as the pup kept on crying.

  Angrily, Bite roars and limps toward them, angrily screeching and bobbing her head, only for the two soldiers, to knock them out.