Episode 5 – “Time’s Up, Actually.”

  [INT. COSMIC LIMINAL REALM – UNKNOWN TIME]

  Rudy awakens floating in a void-like kaleidoscope of shattered universes, her eyes flickering with reflection after reflection. The sky turns into VHS static. Below her, infinity loops like a M?bius strip made of TVs showing alternate Happy Towns.

  Rudy (confused, yawning): “…What did I eat last night?”

  A loud ticking echoes. A massive hourglass with a hat drops from the sky. It lands with jazz music. Pentuis is dancing.

  Pentuis: “Time’s an illusion, kiddo. Lunch doubly so. Welcome to the Realm Between Realms, Trademark Pending!”

  Void floats silently beside him, black like a starless hole, occasionally blinking out of existence. He then snaps his fingers, the realm lights up.

  Rudy: “…Who are you and why does your friend look like a haunted donut?”

  Pentuis (bowing dramatically): “PΣП?ЦI?, God of Time, Hourglass of Eternity, Master of Funk. And this is Void. Don’t ask him to sing. He ate an opera house once.. and its universe.”

  Void “blinks”. A scream echoes faintly.

  Rudy: “Sentient… black hole.. you know black holes aren’t actually holes? They’re just really moody stars that gave up being polite and decided to eat everything—including light. Honestly, same…”

  Pentuis: “Okay.. I’m bored! I waaaaassss gonna turn you into a frog… but…”

  [MONTAGE – PENTUIS CAUSES ABSOLUTE NONSENSE]

  He plucks Rudy’s shadow off the ground and wears it like a scarf.

  Makes 10 versions of Rudy arguing with each other about breakfast.

  Turns Happy Town into claymation, black-and-white noir, and then a fighting game.

  Launches Quibble and Wade into a 1950s sitcom. Wade is suddenly wearing a bowtie and questioning his existence.

  Wade: “What the helli hell?!”

  Pentuis: “AHAHA! With Creation, I can do anything! And no limits… heheh..”

  [INT. QUANTUM HALLWAY – TIME IS MELTING]

  Quibble (to Rudy, softly): “You know, for a girl who punches demons and fights timelines… you’re kinda amazing…”

  Rudy: “Quib… Are you confessing… while time is literally being unraveled behind us?”

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  Quibble (blushing, cartoon steam escaping): “…Whaaat? N-n-nope. Just appreciating the… chaos. Yep. Totally not crushing. That’d be weird! Ugh!”

  A version of Rudy behind them whispers: “He totally is.”

  Pentuis (Laughing): “AHAHA!!! He fell on the peel!! Sooooo funny… heh.. ahhh..”

  [INT. COSMIC PLAYROOM – BACK TO PENTUIS]

  Rudy (annoyed): “WHY are you doing all this!?”

  Pentuis: Scream! scream! SCREAM!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I’m such a good person, ain’t I?”

  Pentuis (floating upside down in a chair): “I got bored. Time’s a flat circle, Rudy. Sometimes you gotta squish it like a pancake and see if it screams. You catch my drift??”

  Rudy: “…You’re insane.”

  Void (for the first time, calmly): “He is the only sane one left.”

  Zora tried entering his mind and reshaping his dreams—only to be kicked out and return with her mind insane and looney, gaining schizophrenia.

  Zora: “Wait, what’s happening? Anyways, let me get out of here in my car!”

  Note that Zora has a car but right now, there isn’t one.

  [INT. VOLCANO – CUT TO PRINCESS]

  Princess (waking up, stretching): “What in the eternally microwaved marshmallow fluff is going on!?”

  She looks around, sees a volcano-sized statue of Pentuis wearing her crown. She SCREAMS—

  The scream is so powerful it vaporizes the entire volcano and 13 minor gods who weren’t even in this dimension.

  Pentuis (covered in soot, monotone): “Welp. That’s my cue!!”

  [INT. NORMAL HAPPY TOWN – DAY RESET]

  Everything returns to normal. Houses are rebuilt. The sun is back to being 3D. People are back in their original poses like nothing happened.

  Wade (drinking tea): “I hate Mondays.”

  Stix (sighs): “I liked the part where we almost died. Builds character.”

  Pentuis (floating above in a portal): “Love you all, see you in six realities!”

  Void: “Tick.”

  [They vanish.]

  [EXT. MEADOW OUTSIDE TOWN – PICNIC TIME]

  Everyone gathers under a big cartoon sun. There’s a picnic spread. Sandwiches float. Princess is angry but chewing. Zora is telling a story. Quibble sits beside Rudy, unusually quiet.

  Carrie (smiling): “That was… unusually weird, even for us.”

  Stix: “Speak for yourself. I sold my soul to a jellybean for a soda.”

  Zora (grinning): “Best. Week. Ever.”

  Rudy: “That was chaotic… he turned me into a… flower..”

  Quibble: “I bet it was pretty too..”

  Rudy: “Huh?”

  Quibble: “Huh?”

  Princess: “I feel like we’re missing something… nah never mind! Oh wait… the secrets that the government doesn’t want to tell us is that the reasons we people can’t die is because—“

  [CREDITS ROLL – with weird happy ukulele music.]