Inscribed below are the good and inconceivable deeds of Sir Ophelius the Fool and his nameless squire.
- Fought back against the waves of the Andromadia, whose bodies were left in clean pieces and ruined souls. Ophelius was said to have been in the bathroom the whole time.
- Aided in the search of and rescue of the Jackalope prince, who was found drunk in the bottom of a mermaid’s cove on the 31st floor. Rumors mention both old Ophelius and his squire were even drunker.
- Bargained with The Goblin Congloration for the return of access to the dungeons of the 170’s floors. Coincidentally, the beer reserves of the Urroho Kingdom went missing. Audits have been demanded that have led to dead ends and lost people.
- Found the Celestial Baby after a thousand years of going missing (Squire - Old man Ophy was sleeping the whole time and I found the child by a floating store buying sour thumbs. I got a bag too.)
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- Traversed through the Mazes of Rahmuya, the Serpent of CHAOS, where it is said that his squire bargained with the local pixie-clan for safe passage with stories of paths he traversed and meat-bits.
- Won the Centennial Arm Wrestling Tournament of the Boroo Giantkin. Even Bob was impressed. (Old Bob - He beat me too… that Ophelius now can best any human man in wrestling, probably that title he received, Kin of Khan.)
- Fed the Missy Cat Hordes that rampaged through mid tier floors until they stopped and took a nap. It was reported that Ophelius chucked pieces of meat to the hordes for a week straight, while his squire cut up divine beasts without pause with floating cleavers.
- Rode a rainbow scaled dragon through the tides of Time and Cheese (Squire - Ophelius held the reins, ask him. All I did was ask the dragon for a ride.)
- Freed 7 cities from slavery caravans and now its people speak of “paths not walked” and hopes of new discoveries.
- Led Orrion the Blasphemer of Herakes back to the light.
All hail Sir Ophelius the Fool, honored warrior, protector of the old and the innocent, and friend. A hero to all floors and the symbol of chivalry and honor. I wish I had more men like him. - Signed Old Bob. (His squire asked to not be written about in detail but asked to emphasize that a path with no end is a good and just goal. Sometimes its ok to bake bread for eternity, as long as it makes one fulfilled.)