She was walking aimlessly at this point. Meandering through cobbled streets that all looked the same, Vic felt her feet move on their own, leading her nowhere. Her footsteps felt hollow to her. She didn’t know this place. Her fingers dug through her scalp a few times, but before soon, her hands were back to lightly swinging with her every footstep. Her fists were tightly clenched.
She was just back right where she’d started. In the very first place, she’d just come to this city to sell her loot. Nothing more. Perhaps the thought of taking a break in an inn or something had roamed her brain an eternity ago, back when she’d been walking to this pointless, good-for-nothing waypoint of a city. This whole thing had served no purpose. She’d wasted time at worst. She didn’t even want to find an alchemist to sell off her loot now. She didn’t think she could find one.
Fuck! Fuck. FUCK.
She kicked a wall in frustration. She was so tired of this. Fuck!
She heard pebbles fall from high above. Cabrón. She couldn’t even kick a wall without the wall threatening to crumble back. Stupid. Stupid weak surroundings. Stupid shit. Stupid everything.
She’d just wanted to get about five common golds for her loot. That’s all she’d expected. That’s all she’d wanted. Nothing more.
How was it possible to want so little and to get even less than that?
Vic kept walking up and down streets, dodging expertly the piss some crone had thrown out her window once. She avoided thinking of the contents of the puddles she’d been purposefully walking on for the last forty metres of this curved, downtrodden, unevenly cobbled narrow street. It looked like habits died hard for those citizens. So much for having a sewer in a city if people didn’t use it. Maybe it wasn’t being used around the old part of the city. She pushed on. She barely registered that she’d entered another type of district as the street she was walking through started being occupied by some buildings that were less decayed than before. There were clothing workshops. The distinct disagreeable sound of clicking looms could be heard from some of them. She passed by clothe stores, but she couldn’t find it in herself to buy herself that new cloak to replace her old frayed one. There was a taste of dust on her tongue.
Her stomach grumbled, but the hunger felt hollow. She didn’t want to eat. Not now. Not until she got something done. Her stamina bar wasn’t even that low too. She didn’t care, she didn’t care.
She ignored the warning notifications from the game system that implied she had edible food to eat in her inventory.
At a certain point where walking led to exhaustion and didn’t lead her to any specific place she had in mind, something like numbness took the place of that awful feeling slithering out of her guts. Yeah. Yeah, this had all been that fake god’s fault. Always the gods and their puny followers playing with things they couldn’t ever understand.
She chewed her lips. Maybe it had also been partly her fault.
Just maybe.
Once she’d walked back down to streets where children with naked feet played around, shoving each other before scurrying off, Vic jadedly ignored them and bought a couple of meat skewers from a street vendor who’d probably laugh off any soldier asking him for his “permit”. Her newly acquired meat skewers looked suspiciously like they hadn’t been made with pig meat despite what the street vendor had just claimed. She didn’t care. She didn’t care that it was rat. She carried on. She ate until her stomach left her alone, throwing the leftover skewers right at the side of a broken barrel. One more crime to her long list wrongdoings: littering. All that was leftwas one meat skewer and her sticky fingers still dipped in the sauce they’d been cooked in. She strode along while lightly holding it between her thumb and index finger. The notifications from the game system had faded on their own, too. There was just numbness now.
She put her arms over a handrail. She held the meat skewer nonchalantly, passing it dexterously between her fingers, all while she stared blankly at the view she had on the sunlit city and its upper districts. At its feet, a river surrounded by cobbled docks could be seen. Far above, the warm, golden sunlight pooled around the tall walls of the big divine palace that clung to the mountain like a patronising wart, its dark blue towers springing up like mushrooms desperate to strive. Wind softly went through her hair. The absurd similarities between the canterlot castle from my little pony and the one from this jackass became too strong.
Vic chortled, then she began laughing until all that came out from her lungs were boisterous cackles. Vic laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
A noise. Vic’s head snapped to it. The tall hooded guy right at the corner froze. The hand he had over his curved knife retreated slightly beneath his cloak. Vic stared at him numbly. He had an ugly face, a crooked nose from a fight he’d most likely lost while also having healed it wrong, and the sort of fish stare that a crook would give after being caught up redhanded right before attempting to rob some lost tourist walking in the underbelly of this petty kingdom’s capital.
The crook wasn’t moving now. Vic wondered if pouncing on him would be any kinds of worth it. He was staring back. Vic stared back. She wasn’t even smiling. She just wanted to see what he was going to do. She’d take anything, really. She didn’t want to be the first to act. Reacting was all she would do. All else would be consequence, all else would be consequence. She needed this.
She needed him to step forwards.
The crook stared at her blankly. She stared back. His left foot ever so slightly moved back. Oh. He didn’t even want the fight. She called out to him with a smile but he didn’t reply. He abruptly rushed to leave her eyesight and disappeared behind the corner he’d come from.
Vic didn’t pursue. She brought a hand to her face, covering it, before dragging it down until she reached her mouth, which she opened. She intensely pushed down on her lower teeth.
That was pathetic. Not even robbers wanted anything to do with her. Rejected by criminals, her, little Victorya. How low could she get? Could she even manage to belong to the city’s underbelly if she tried?
Vic stepped away. She pushed on. Things felt dizzy. Her legs didn’t even hurt from the strain. It was something else. Maybe she should still get that cloak. Vic tried to find back that commercial district from before. It should be easy enough. The distinctive smell that imbued the air would be a good enough lighthouse of sorts.
She was passing by another shop in a street dedicated to leatherwork and fabrics, the ones close to the pyres near the river’s docks, when her footsteps came to a stop.
“Oh hi there,” she said, still a little numb and disinterested. It didn’t quite sound like herself. She meant to say it with a tone that implied that she was poking an interest of hers. No, no. This wasn’t to distract herself. Or was she?
The star student turned her head to her slowly.
She’d been right in front a very fancy clothing shop, eye-shopping.
“You. Victorya.” she said, too neutrally. Her tone sounded like she was pointing a finger at her but was too noble to actually do that.
There was a gaping hole in her guts. It hurt, too.
Ah, fuck it.
Vic bowed deeply, dramatically swinging back up to her full height while rising a finger back towards the elf. “And you, Thalis the mage,” she said, pointing at her, then swiping her finger towards the sky for the sake of theatrics while removing all the impaled meat pieces with her teeth and gobbling them down in one supple movement. Her other hand that had been holding the skewer did a swirly dramatic gesture before throwing it away. One more account of littering to put on her burdened shoulders. “The renegade necromancer,” Vic said with a full mouth, before swallowing in one gulp, speaking clearer, “The prodigy of Elkroth. Pathetic name of a backwater city, I must say, honestly you could do better.”
The elf glared at her, reddening.
“I don’t know what you are playing at, but I will not be entertaining you,” Thalis said, coldly. Sheesh. That was just mean. Vic didn’t do mind games. She was literally doing the opposite of what all of those bastard gods did. It was fine, the girl didn’t know. It wasn’t meant cruelly in that way.
Vic snorted, dusting her shoulder.
A very light, barely perceptible layer of grey dust came off of her coat. Vic squinted at it. Now that was insulting.
“I’m playing at nothing. I’m not feeling playful,” Vic said honestly, looking back at Thalis. Hm. Maybe she needed to open up properly to be trusted. “Right. I’d like to apologize.”
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The girl stared back at Vic, blinking, opening then closing her mouth.
“…And what might you be apologizing about?” the girl said, staring at Vic in a way that she didn’t know what to make of. Vic looked away. She scratched the back of her head.
“…Everything?” Vic said. That should be enough.
The girl stared back straight into Vic’s eyes. Then the way she stared at Vic turned haughty.
“Of course you are. I think then that it was for a good reason that I was advised not to seek you out at best and to ignore you regardless of what you tried,” she said. Her arms were very straight at her sides.
Vic let out a dry chuckle.
“Well that’s just cruel. Who told you that? And me who thought you’d enjoy some healthy competition,” she joked. It didn’t come off as her jokes usually did. She was tired.
The elf snorted.
“Principal Lunbumster also didn’t explain to me why you were allowed at the academy.” she said, staring down at Vic. “He told me that as a bright student, I would figure it out. There’s a lot you’re hiding, now isn’t there?”
Vic laughed, openly and true. A shopper came out of the shop, the bell’s door tinkling. Someone was about to pass them by.
“I hide nothing. It’s your god that does,” Vic said, smirking mirthfully, right as the shopper, an errand-boy, passed between them. “Peek-a-boo, as he’d say,” Vic said right as she disappeared from the girl’s sight.
Once Vic reappeared in her line of sight, Thalis stared back at her like her god would certainly not be the kind to say that.
Whatever, the burden of proof was on her. Gneh gneh gneh.
“He’s not my god. A patron, at best,” Thalis said, readjusting the lapel of her jacket so that it covered her mouth from Vic’s angle of view. Thalis looked away. “You nearly ruined my finances, I’ll have you know.”
Vic blinked.
“Oh?” Vic asked. “So you were just betting on getting the prize money to keep living the way you do?” Vic frowned. One hundred golden honours. Five hundred golden coins. That was a lot. Enough to buy a nice house, probably, or a very excessive amount of quality enchanted equipment. How could she need that much? And damn, the contest didn’t happen once every five years. Was she living the lifestyle of a princess or something to need that every year? Huh, that was kind of assuming that she’d been winning the contest in first place every time. Maybe she wasn’t that good. Should she ask? No, perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to do that. Still, it had to be a lot of money to have to spend…
“I need it for my research. It doesn’t matter,” Thalis said abruptly, shaking her head. Oh. Had she reacted like this because of the way Vic had been staring at her? “It all worked out in the end, thanks to the connections I cultivated within this Church. You cannot imagine where I come from and what I started with. But at long last, it paid off. I just signed a blood contract for my research to be fully financed.”
“Oh you fucking didn’t,” Vic said, gobsmacked. That also couldn’t be Vic’s fault. She began giggling, no, guffawing. “What? You signed one of those bloody blood contracts? Did you not read the fine print before getting steamrolled into being contracted into joining their shitty cult? Do you have any idea what you’re getting into?”
“A few years as a court mage is nothing to scoff at,” Thalis haughtily said. “Once I’ve finished my studies, of course, that is. It was a good offer. Many would kill for it. My prospects have always been great.”
“You can’t just smile after signing your life away,” Vic chortled. “You had other ways out, you know? You have to know that. There’s always another way. Well, there isn’t anymore for you, but still.”
Vic briefly glanced at the sky. It was a beautiful day, with not a cloud in the sky.
Thalis rolled her eyes.
“What a way to show sympathy, if it’s sympathy you’re showing,” she said. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been sent here to attack this city in the first place.”
Vic pointedly ignored that last comment. The girl didn’t even mean it in the ways that would actually hurt. To be honest that girl’s opinion would have to be taken with a dozen grains of salt. She was proud to end up becoming a court mage without even realising that she’d been tricked into it. A court mage, she’d become. A perfectly still, unmoving, entrapped court mage.
The girl was still staring at her like she wanted Vic to say something.
“What, what am I supposed to say?,” Vic asked. “Sorry, for being better than you. I’ll try less hard next time.” Vic blinked and frowned. “There won’t be a next time,” she added quickly, batting her hand. She really didn’t want to jinx herself. She was never participating in contests again. At least not for a full year.
Thalis’s face had turned fully red.
“It seems it wasn’t the brainwashing that made you taunt, deride and sneer at everyone,” Thalis said through gritted teeth. “It just seems you’re not a good person after all, Victorya.”
Victorya stared, and abruptly snorted.
“Oh tell me more. I know that already. You have no idea how much those upper crust cultists deserved it. They deserved all of that awful person I am,” Victorya said smoothly, smiling. “All these high and mighty dignitaries are liars, you know that? You also come from another city. You weren’t born here. You know how much the truth is fabricated in this fucked up place, don’t you? You must be aware of that. You must know that.”
Were they kindred spirits? Ah, fuck no, who was she kidding.
The puddles nearby were all muddy. Maybe it’d rained a lot while she was forced into that artificial sleep by the inner core of this cult.
Thalis stared at her.
“The morals may be different here,” she said, looking down on her. “I’ve adapted to them. For my own freedom, for my own sake, for my own good, because I wanted it. There’s compromise, here, for my research. There’s a new path to be found, something you can’t find elsewhere, no, something you can’t find anywhere else. This is the promise that this capital holds” Thalis faltered. “They’re not necromancers. They still have ethics. They’re nothing like the counsel of necroarchians.”
Vic stared back. Huh. If they were anything like that ancient lich she’d defeated, maybe they really did suck a lot. Though that guy seemed to have been a loner, and not the redditor kind. Vic grimaced. Perhaps Thalis didn’t have a good point of reference on what “good morals” were.
“My sympathies, then,” Vic said. Thalis didn’t react. Oh. Vic wasn’t trusted. Of course.
“You know what? Were you buying yourself something?” Vic said, and grabbed her backpack. Yeah, maybe she’d do a bit of charity. Thalis suddenly looked aghast. “You remind me of a wet cat. Maybe I can-”
“I don’t fucking want your pity money!” Thalis said, fists clenched tightly on her side.
“Wow. Okay,” Victorya said, putting immediately her backpack back in place, at her back. What an overreaction.
“You’re infuriating, you know that?” Thalis said. Vic stared back. She felt empty. Maybe. Maybe she was. Maybe she was infuriating.
“Were you buying yourself clothes?” Vic asked. Maybe that was a fairly mundane question to ask. Inoffensive. Unabrasive. Something that wouldn’t hurt a fly.
“It doesn’t concern you!” Thalis said, once more fully red in the face.
“Well I was just curious,” Vic said, “my bad,” she added neutrally, more quietly.
Thalis stared. She did look pissed. It was weird that she hadn’t yet stomped off. Most people wouldn’t have had that patience.
“You’re not curious. You’re so uncaring. You’re so…” Thalis said, then grimaced, “so infuriating.”
Vic blinked.
“I am,” Vic admitted. “I really am.”
That was true.
“I am infuriating,” Vic said outloud, bringing a thoughtful hand to her mouth. Huh. Maybe psychologists back on earth were unto something. She’d heard of “I statements,” once. Was that what they were all about? She remembered that stuff from a series she’d watched. Hm. Food for thought.
“I am.” she suddenly affirmed. Something settled in her.
She looked back at Thalis.
“Sorry for that,” she said. “So? Were you buying fancy clothes? For your… research?”
Thalis stared. She looked nearly murderous.
“Dye.” the girl said, dejectedly.
Wow, that was a bit mean, but not undeserved.
“Eh, for a death threat, I give it a 3 out of 10, star student. For the effort, only. You’ll get better at it down the line,” Victorya said. “Train three times a week and in no time you’ll be able to put kids or adults to tears, trust me, it’s easier than it looks-”
“NO! No,” Thalis said. “No, I meant… Dye. The dye. To dye my hair.”
Vic blinked.
Oh.
Okay.
“So… oh. Right, you do dye your hair,” Vic said. Huh. She tilted her head at Thalis. “Huh. Your roots are showing.”
“Shut up,” Thalis said abruptly. She then leaned in close. “You really stink, you know that?” she softly hissed in her ear.
She smirked back. Vic could never really right her wrongs, now could she?
“Oh, you have no idea, sweetheart,” she said, gazing down on her.
Thalis reddened again from embarrassment, stepping back.
“In no way do you grasp what you’re suggesting, Victorya,” Thalis spat, head tilted slightly sideways.
She turned her back on Vic with all the conceit and dejection of a high-born teen and walked away with her poised posture. Victorya snorted, and turned away too, hands in her pockets. Better to leave her behind, just like she was doing to Vic.
That was more like it. People stepped away from her. People slammed doors on her. Because she was incapable of speaking right. Because she couldn’t ever settle things right. Because if she ever stayed too long in one place, she’d inevitably fuck things up. This? That was more like it. This was the safety of familiarity. She’d embrace it. That loneliness. No one needed to stay at her side on her quests. She wasn’t any good for the world, even when she did try. Not that she’d tried, recently. She would bathe herself in self-loathing until it became a sweet nectar to her tastebuds.
Maybe she didn’t even need to return to Earth. It’d be the same back there. It would all be the same. That hadn’t changed.
Some things never changed. Her mom would still be dead. She’d still have no friends at school. She walked away with a bitter, giddy smile. Some things never changed.
Vic abruptly dodged sideways right as she turned around the corner. It’d made her take three steps back. She’d nearly brutally slammed her nose head first onto someone coming right there and she grimaced while looking back up, half-crouching.
“GAH! NOT YOU AGAIN!” Vic yelled, pointing up at him.
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