Charlemagne, Bridget, and Phatagin were transported into the “Super Hell” difficulty version of the Lippity Dungeon, two of the three making the transition very much against their wills.

  The mosquito nestled as deep into Charlemagne’s feathers as she could as she reached out with her extra sensory abilities to scan for threats.

  There are lifesigns EVERYWHERE! she exclaimed, throwing two of her limbs as high into the air as they would go. Plus, there’s a ton of that energy that Phatagin is super allergic to…the, uhhh, radiation.

  Bawk, the rooster noted.

  No, we’re not fine! In case you didn’t notice, you’re still missing an arm and a leg, and Phatagin is out cold.

  Bawkk.

  Oh, he is? Oh, he is!

  To Bridget’s immense relief, the pangolin stirred himself and stretched out to his full length slowly. Then, he curled up into a ball and pretended to sleep.

  Phatagin, wake up, we need to talk! We need a plan! Bridget yelled through the mental link, being careful not to attract attention by talking out loud.

  Have we shuffled off our mortal coils? The lazy pangolin responded.

  Well, if I understand you correctly, then not yet, but…, the mosquito began to explain.

  Please wake me when we have, Phatagin cut in, and proceeded to send loud snoring sounds through the Party link.

  Bawk! Charlemagne ordered.

  Yes, yes. Please be patient for a moment while I collect my thoughts, the pangolin answered, immediately sounding more alert. There was, in fact, a short pause before he continued. This Dungeon is called the ‘Lippity Dungeon’ because it’s completely filled by rabbits. I need to obtain a sample of the boss’s flesh in order to unlock a mutation that will allow my species to become an order of magnitude more fertile. Once I have obtained it, my Deity will be able to propagate this beneficial mutation to other pangolins. I’ve been told that, since the rabbit is a mammal, that only mammals can benefit from this particular process. It seems as though the mutation isn’t going to help either of you.

  Baawk? The rooster asked.

  No, I do not know why a Dungeon filled with rabbits is called the ‘Lippity Dungeon’, the pangolin admitted.

  Oh, I know that one, boss. Bridget cut in. That’s the sound that rabbits make.

  I beg your pardon? Phatagin said, clearly skeptical. And how exactly do rabbits make the sound ‘lippity’?

  No, it’s not like that, big green, the mosquito answered. That’s what happens when a rabbit moves slowly. You know, when they are just kinda hopping slowly rather than running at full tilt.

  And you know this, how? The pangolin demanded.

  Bawk, added the rooster.

  I mean, I just…It’s common knowledge okay? Ask around, anyone will tell you!

  Bawwk, Charlemagne declared.

  Fine. Whatever, maybe I’m wrong. But that doesn’t make this Dungeon any less populated by rabbits that apparently thrive in an environment that is filled with radiation. And we’re in a difficulty setting that is literally off the charts. And, despite Phatagin being conscious again, you’re still missing half your limbs!

  Bawk, the rooster answered.

  I see that they are starting to grow back, Bridget agreed. But there are rabbits heading closer now! What are we going to do?

  I say, is the temperature in here rather toasty? Because I feel like it’s too hot in here. And the ground appears to be spinning, Phatagin interrupted. Oh, look, I gained the ‘radiation resistance’ skill while I was unconscious. And it came with an Achievement. And it’s just leveled up again…which means that…

  Uhh, boss, Bridget said. I think that big, green and scaly over there is getting sick again. But don’t worry! I gained the ability to manipulate radiation while you were out of it! I can just take the radiation out of him and put it in you, sound good?

  Bawk! The rooster responded.

  All right, let me just…wait, what? Why aren’t you letting me help him?

  Bawwk Bawk, he explained.

  Well…that is rather harsh. But the world is not a very comforting place. I guess it will be good training for his new skill. But are you sure he’s going to make it?

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  Bawk.

  Savage…so what are you going to about the rabbits? I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out just how many there are, but the largest group is straight ahead and just a bit to the left. We gonna fight them here?

  Charlemagne heard the mosquito just fine, but he had already turned his focus inward. His body was brimming with potential energy in the form of radiation. Each passing second, more and more of the mysterious, deadly substance entered his bloodstream, only to be trapped and pulled into his mana channels by his Skills. Every pulse of his Ember Core converted a bit of the radiation into mana. Every circuit of the mana within his body healed it just a little more. And slowly, ever so slowly, his wing and his missing leg were regrowing.

  But not fast enough.

  Charlemagne could hear the rabbits now, out there beyond his limited visual range, a limitation that seemed to have nothing to do with how much light there was but must have been some feature of the Dungeon. It was probably there, the rooster guessed in a surprisingly accurate flash of insight, to prevent someone like Francois from just standing really far away from all the enemies and throwing things at them until they were all dead.

  The rooster refocused on his Ember Core and the thick bands of radiation that were moving inside his mana channels. His Radiation Manipulation skill was fused with his Ember Core, and it was because of this synergy that the mystical organ was able to process the radiation automagically. But it was slow. Inefficient. There was so much radiation in the air that wasn’t doing anything for the rooster.

  That was what Charlemagne was attempting to change.

  The rooster bent all of his willpower to forcing the radiation inside his body to transform. Radiation, as he understood it, was just another type of energy. The heat flowing through his Ember Core was another type, and mana itself was a very useful third. Charlemagne knew that he could do so much with raw mana: it strengthened his body, sharpened his senses, healed his wounds, and slayed his foes. He had utilized radiation before to defeat his foes, but that only worked on enemies that weren’t inured to radiation, and it seemed like the incoming rabbits could survive a high concentration of that particular energy. What the rooster was attempting to do skirted the line between what was permissible by the System and usurping its authority.

  All at once, the free flowing radiation inside Charlemagne’s Ember Core began to disappear. A large area around the rooster was affected as well, purging the harmful rays from the air, ground, and even the other life forms. The trace amounts of radiation that remained in Bridget’s body vanished. The larger dose that was wreaking havoc on Phatagin’s system disappeared. Even the particles flowing through the rooster’s bloodstream went missing. Something big was happening, but neither Bridget nor Phatagin could sense what was going on inside Charlemagne’s body.

  What’s he doing? Bridget asked her Party member as she fled from her shelter among the rooster’s feathers and perched on top of the pangolin’s head.

  He’s…I confess I have no idea. I feel much better, however. Wait, look at his wing!

  The flesh beneath Charlemagne’s barely-healed nub began to roil, and before the astonished eyes of his Party, the rooster’s wing regenerated in all its glory. His leg, likewise, practically burst forth from its stump, regenerating faster than ever before.

  But that wasn’t all that was going on.

  Charlemagne’s focus remained inward. He was dimly aware of his Party members huddling together in the shelter he provided from the oppressive cloud of radiation. He was also cognizant of the enemy that would overrun their position in mere seconds. Already, he could see them approaching. His Identify skill told him that they were level 25 Carnage Cottontails. Behind them came the Atomic Thumpers, which had levels ranging from 27 to 30. The entire Dungeon seemed to be converging on their location. The thought made the rooster’s blood run even hotter. He wasn’t exactly sure what had happened to him while he was asleep, but he knew one thing: he was going to get stronger so that it couldn’t happen again.

  The rooster pushed again, forcing his Ember Core to accept huge volumes of radiation with each pulse. His Core hadn’t originally been designed to convert radiation into other energy types. The previous, low efficiency conversion had only worked because he not only had the Radiation Manipulation skill fused into the Core, but he also possessed Pyro, a skill that allowed for the manipulation of fire. And what did fire produce? Radiant heat. Charlemagne doggedly smashed these two somewhat incompatible concepts together inside his bird brain, straining with all his willpower to make his vision become reality.

  It shouldn’t have worked.

  But it did.

  Huge quantities of radiation flooded Charlemagne’s Ember Core, where they were converted directly into mana. So much magical energy flooded the rooster’s system that he began to grow. He doubled in size, then quadrupled. And yet he kept growing.

  Get behind him! Phatagin yelled as the rabid, rapid rabbit vanguard closed in on the trio. He wasted no time before following his own advice, putting the enormous chicken between him and the incoming danger.

  Charlemagne kept growing until he felt that he would burst from within. His biology was never meant to handle its own weight at this size, and it was only the powerful flows of mana that kept his bones from breaking under their own weight. And still, more radiation was being sucked into his Ember Core as his command over the elusive energy grew. It felt like he was emptying out the entire Dungeon’s supply. He hoped it would be enough.

  The first of the Carnage Cottontails leaped straight forward like a bullet, its chisel-like, deadly incisors ready to shear through his defenses. Another dozen followed suit. It was time. Charlemagne opened his mouth wide.

  The enormous ball of blazing hot mana that had been gathering in the rooster’s throat burst forth in blinding glory. It was fifty times larger than any attack that the rooster had previously summoned. The very fabric of reality appeared to warp around it, making the gigantic energy blast seem more dimensionally heavy than ordinary light. The sheer amount of heat that bled off the attack was so staggering that it singed Charlemagne’s party members.

  “Gahh!!” Yelped Phatagin, as his scales sizzled a bit from the heat. “What I wouldn’t give for a pineapple right now!”

  “What?” Bridget yelled back.

  The pangolin didn’t have a chance to answer before the incredible attack flew forward at reckless speeds, slamming into the mass of charging lagomorphs and utterly breaking their lines. The ball of mana then screamed off into the distance, disappearing into the unnatural gloom of the Dungeon. There was a moment of eerie silence. Then came the explosion. When the dust settled, everything was quiet again.

  Then the squiggles arrived with a message.