Well..this is gonna suck…

  I open my eyes to a new life… again, the by now familiar natural background hum of birds and bees and ethereal laughter of sprites..or pixies or something. Well.. looks like another fantasy world again, no sense complaining it wont help, I could try screaming in rage but that wont do anything but scare away small game animals and attract undue attention from a magic being or a robber or something; and at this point I just don’t care anymore. Man… I really wish id got a tech world..

  at this point I suppose I should tell you why all that matters and how getting isekied isn't special anymore. So here goes.. ( I do care,and quite a lot actually.)…

  Once upon a time, on a normal and very boring Wednesday,specifically in May. ( to really nail down that “upon a time” thing.). I picked up bro from college. That's it ; nothing special.

  Just a dude picking his brother up from college, a very boring literary and literal vehicle to make the story happen.(2009 honda civic, im so broke even my fantasy cars have to be affordable)

  Behold this hapless idiot,this unfortunate soul,this..poor shmuck. My name is Ben Pennyworth and that is first and almost the last time my last name is relevant. My brother’s name is THE GREAT BROSKI...THE INDOMITABLE WALL..THE FURY OF PARKATH !!!( yes the last one is usually yelled) although there are some that call him….Tim, Tim Pennyworth according to the IRS and DMV. Although don’t ask why we aren't taking his car. Dude let his friends drive and they totaled it just enough that he couldn’t afford to fix it. So...me an my car gonna pick up his broke butt and take it back home for the weekend. Anyways lets hit the gas on this story cause the dragonballZ fanfic behind me is honking his horn and yelling something about the speed limit being “OVER NINE THOUSANNNNDDD!!”

  We thenceforth went hence with mine siblings baggage and proceeded at pace on the road till we cameth to a local eatery whence forth my sibling did sayeth:”bro you wanna get some white castle?” and verily this one did sayeth: “yeah”. So guttburgers in hand in those little cardboard sleeves;we were back on the interstate petal to the metal , we had an hour and a half to go and we were in fine form, crackin jokes and making plans for the weekend, fortnite,cod all that stuff.

  We had just entered a stretch of highway I had dubbed THE MOST BORING ROAD ON THE PLANET when stuff started to go wrong, radio started acting up and turned itself on, and when we turned it off it came on again! I started seeing graffiti on the road signs, which was nothing new but this stuff was glowing and hurt your head to look at then it started moving onto the road and it seemed to be following us and always seemed to be closing in no matter how fast I went. You think I slowed down to take a look?! Nah bro I floored it!!;and that was apparently the wrong thing to do cause it started to go faster and eventually we were neck and neck and the stuff was gaining!

  This was I thought, the most scared I have ever been in my life, but I had as yet not accidentally said “ I wish…” while looking into the eyes of a fae or caught the attention of a manifestation of a eldritch being when I told it to go home. I have seen much since that day in the civic and not much scares me but… fae and eldritch beings.. THEY REMEMBER ME !!

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  So back to the car. We had topped it out to the blinding speed of 85 and anything faster than that no matter what was indicated on the speedometer was wishful thinking on my part and false advertising on honda’s part. We had until about 85.5 before the limiter kicked in and dropped us down to like 60 mph because import taxes are higher on sports cars and they only gave this thing four cylinders so temper your expectations. The glowing graffiti which could if one admitted what was happening might be called “RUNES” closed in and started flowing over our bodies and smooshing themselves all over our eyeballs, the headache was incredible and indescribable and I have since discovered this usually means that some soon to be dead(if I can) mage,witch,shaman,warlock,or reincarnation..thingy was ripping my soul from my body.

  This is..as the dentist would say,a slight pinch.

  Well, reality started turning into spaghetti and I finally blacked out.

  Kansas we ain't in Toto no more..

  I want to say that we had a meeting with a local deity who exposition dumped stuff for us and let us choose a cool cheat power with a flowery name but no if there was a god to that world they apparently didn’t think we rated an explanation or a choice, and instead decided to dump us in blind and also for some reason they liked my brother better than me. Or maybe I wasn't supposed to go or he was but we will mangle that part of the chapter when we get there.

  In a fit of inspiration I would say that this summoning was 5/10 as generic as they came not even the robes on the mages were interesting, a dull gray that was almost monk like in how plain it was. The room was basic medieval castle ugly could have been a summoning room, could have been a pantry. If it was a dedicated summoning room they must have been highly adept at Meh Magic.

  The floor was..fantasy floor number 2 asset, and soft as a bed of rose petals, no..duh it was hard like it was made of stone or something. Okay floor done room done, mages dissed , now for the princess….non existent. She couldn’t be bothered to show up. Instead we got the sales pitch from a fat balding forty something mage dude who I later found out was the local ORDER OF THE GRADIENT MOON representative, a mages guild which was the equivalent to a magical raytheon. They made magical weapons and every 50 years magical people weapons. In their heavily guarded and patented summoning ritual. Summoned people get powers others don’t.

  All this was told me by my brother who was taking all of this better than me.

  I was chill guy on the outside but I was freaking out on the inside, or maybe he was just like me.

  Okay so for him all of this was in english but to me it sounded like Japanese except slightly off,like they were faking knowing Japanese to make fun of weebs(us) and were doing it all sarcastically.

  This dude had garlic breath BAD like he was just eating cloves like an apple.

  (here comes a hard part im not great at dialogue )

  He was talking to my brother with that used car salesmen aura you get at particularly scummy dealers and decided to say something to me, not sure what but it had a lot of “Heh” sounds in it.

  My eyes were beginning to water when I said to him finally: “could you please back up sir your breath stinks.” He looks shocked then offended in that order.”smooth move you idiot.” I thought to my self “way to win friends and influence people.”He recovered his composure and hid his irritation but you could tell, dude was ticked. “welcome chosen of the blue flower goddess!”

  Please assume that my brother is translating from here on out cause for him this is english.

  I have in my many attempts at life been called many things, monster,brute, and many other hurtful words, but this I actually will try to kill you for, no lie, you could be in a heavily armored mech and I could be naked with a very cheap plastic spoon and I would still try. I will get into why later.

  “no time for more idle chatter ,we need your help chosen !!” the mage cried and swept us off to meet the king and queen...