Yeju

  Tears fill my eyes. I blink them away before giving Lia her letter back.

  The words are raw and heavy with emotions. I knew about Eunice and what she did to Lia, but this letter shows just how much Lia has been affected—and how much she has been hiding from everyone.

  “You’re very brave,” I croak.

  Lia’s lips curl. “Not really. It’s just a letter.”

  “Yes, you are. I would’ve never been able to write something like this.” And I would’ve cussed the hell out of that woman too.

  Lia tucks the letter gently back into the envelope. “Thank you for doing this,” she whispers.

  “Of course. So, you ready?”

  “Yes.”

  I drive to the address Lia provided me with and watch her hop out of the car. After she drops the letter off, we head back to the apartment.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask.

  Lia lets out a long sigh. “Good. It’s like… another load off my chest. No matter what happens after, I’m gd I did this.”

  I hold out my hand. She csps it. Her fingers tremble against my skin, and I cast her a quick gnce.

  She’s biting her lips as tears wash her face.

  I turn my gaze back to the road, but the sight has already seared into my brain and pierced a million knives into my heart. I squeeze her hand, and we remain like this the entire drive back.

  ***

  “Hi everyone, thank you for coming to my thesis defense,” I say, putting on the biggest smile I can manage without falling apart. My heart is thumping so loudly in my ears that I can barely hear myself speak.

  The lecture hall is a lot more crowded than I expected it to be. There are a lot of strangers in the audience, and I am too nervous to figure out who everyone is. I know the most important people in my life are here though, and that is enough for me.

  Inhale. Exhale.

  Let’s do this.

  “Today, I will be telling you about what I’ve been doing for the past five years in the Song b. The development of an inhibitor against a gut genotoxin, colibactin.”

  I click the remote for the next slide. “There are trillions of bacteria living in and on the human body, far outnumbering the number of cells we actually have. And they have a significant impact on human health…”

  The rest of the presentation flows smoothly. It’s not difficult; I’ve practiced this talk about a dozen times, and I’ve spent five years of my life studying the information on every slide. Keeping my voice steady is the toughest part of the talk, but the more I speak, the easier it gets.

  And it gets even easier when my eyes nd on Lia. She is staring intently at my slides, nodding along every so often. It makes me feel like I’m doing a good job presenting, and it keeps me going.

  When I am done with the conclusion slide, relief floods through me. I click the remote for my very st deck of slides: the acknowledgments.

  “And now, I’d like to thank everyone who’s been with me during these five long years.” I gnce at the screen, and my smile widens. The long list of names on the slide fills my heart with gratitude. “This degree is really a team effort from everyone here. First of all, Victoria. Thank you for accepting me into your b and then mentoring me painstakingly. I know I’ve not been the easiest student you had, but you had my back every step of the way. Thank you for believing in me.”

  Another click and a few photos of my b members emerge. There’s a photo of me and Darren draping our arms over each other, and another with me, Gabby, and Harvey in front of a grill.

  “And of course, thank you to every past and present member of the Song b. Darren, in particur, and the rest of the ‘depressed crew’. Yes, I know people have named the office I sit in ‘the office of misery and depression’. Looking at you two, Gabby and Harvey.”

  Laughter erupts from the Song b members who are clustered in the top right side of the lecture hall. A few people are spping Gabby and Harvey in the arms. Darren, who took time off his job to come to this, gives me a thumbs-up.

  I chuckle along as I click to the next slide. Two photos appear—one of me and my mom, and another of me, my dad, and Chloe. My family might have split into two, but I don’t mind it now. It’s for the better, and I even get a new sibling.

  “I’d also like to thank my parents for supporting me financially whenever I need it,” I continue. “Especially Mom. Thank you for checking in on me and pushing me through these five years. And that’s Chloe, my half-sister, and our first Christmas together.”

  The next slide is full of pictures of the rest of my friends in the Ph.D. program. People in my cohort who joined other bs. Yuna and her friends. “Thank you to all my friends in the program. Some of you have graduated, some still have a few months or years to go, but I’m rooting for all of you.”

  I take a few moments of pause as I take in the entire room. Everyone is smiling, and their joy is infectious. Mom is taking photos of me; Yuna is ughing with Gabby and Harvey over something; and Lia…

  Lia is looking at me and smiling so radiantly. Her hair is tied up in her signature ponytail, her bright, round eyes are shining with delight, and her ivory blouse is flowy and elegant. She is so beautiful. So gorgeous.

  And I click the remote for the most important slide of my presentation.

  On the screen is a photo of me and Lia in the b. It was the day Lia grew her first successful pte of bacteria, and we took a photo to commemorate it.

  The lecture hall quietens. Lia’s mouth drops.

  “And st but definitely not least,” I say, “thank you, Lia. Thank you for not only bringing me the utmost joy over the past few months but also being the inspiration for that very st part of my project. Just to let everyone know, the st section in my talk about soil bacteria is actually Lia’s idea. I would not be defending my Ph.D. today without Lia’s help. I owe a lot of my degree to you, Lia.”

  Another click—and a chorus of ‘aw’s erupts from the audience.

  On my very st slide is the photo we took in the cat cafe. Our cheeks are pressed together, and our faces are as radiant as the morning sun. We looked like the happiest couple in the world.

  I fix my eyes on Lia. Her mouth is still wide open, but she is grinning from ear to ear.

  “I am so thankful that you came into my life. There’s nobody in the world like you, Ophelia Choi.”

  My cheeks are bzing with fire as I end the presentation. “And that’s the end. I’d- I’d take questions now.”

  The appuse is long and deafening. There are a few questions from the audience, but they are easy to answer.

  Victoria ends the public defense and gets everyone to exit the lecture hall. Only the professors from my thesis defense committee remain: Victoria, Chris Chadha, a professor studying yeast genetics, and Jennifer McCurie, a professor studying various gastrointestinal diseases. And my private Ph.D. defense begins.

  The three professors drill me with some of the toughest and most thought-provoking questions I’ve had to answer—a million times harder than the general questions I got from the public defense. When their questions slow to an end, I feel as though I’ve aged ten years.

  “You’ve done a fantastic job here, Yeju,” Victoria says, leaning back in her seat. “You should be very proud of yourself.”

  “Thank you, Victoria.”

  “So, Yeju, I have another question regarding your acknowledgment section in your defense.” Chris Chadha raises his brows. “Isn’t Lia the undergraduate student working under you?”

  “Lia is no longer working under Yeju, Chris,” Victoria answers for me.

  “But she was working under her, right?” Jennifer asks.

  “Well, yes, but—” Victoria frowns. “Wait, how did you two even know about that?”

  “We talked about it in our test departmental meeting. You should’ve been there; it was wild.”

  “What? Why are people talking about my b in the departmental meeting anyway? That is so inappropriate.”

  “Oh, so you want us to talk about funding and budgeting the entire time?” Jennifer scoffs. “Don’t be such a bore, Vicky.”

  “I very much do not condone sndering my students in a meeting meant for departmental—”

  “Now, now,” Chris chimes in, “no one’s sndering anybody. We’re curious, that’s all.”

  “Argh. You know you can just ask me.”

  “I tried to!” Jennifer quips. “Who’s the one rejecting months of my lunch requests?”

  “Jennie, it’s holiday season. Come on.”

  I watch the entire banter, aghast and speechless. This is like watching the interactions between Yuna, Gabby, and Harvey—but with older, tenured professors. People age, but they don’t change much, huh.

  “So, uh,”—I clear my throat—“do you have more questions for me? Did I- Did I pass?”

  “Yes, yes, you pass,” Victoria confirms.

  “Oh, thank you—”

  “Before this, Yeju, you were with a Ph.D. student under Mike Strasbourg, right?” Chris asks.

  “Uh…” I look at Victoria for backup.

  “Yeah, Yuna,” Victoria says. “She comes over often to chat with Gabby and Harvey in my b. They’re a boisterous trio; I can always hear them in my office.”

  I never knew Victoria finds them loud too, and I feel so validated.

  Also, why the hell am I still standing here listening to professor-gossip if I passed?

  The professors continue to chatter for another twenty minutes, catching up about personal news and ughing about gossip in the science community. When they finally set me free from this prison, my legs have turned into jelly. But I take in a deep breath and push open the door.

  I am officially Dr. Yeju Hwarng now.