[ NEW S.T.A.T.S — STRENGTH: MAGICAL=20 - PHYSICAL=19 — TENACITY: DEFENSE=20 - SPEED=19 — APTITUDE: MANA=20 - STAMINA=19 — TILT: CONTROL=20 - LUCK=19 ]

  [ NEW COMMON C.L.A.S.S. TOGGLE: ARCHERY / VISUALIZE TRAJECTORY — EFFECT: SEE THE PREDICTED FLIGHT PATH OF ANY PROJECTILE SET TO COME WITHIN 8 METERS OF YOUR BODY FROM THE INSTANT THE DECISION IS MADE TO FIRE — COST: MINOR MANA DRAIN — WARNING: DOES NOT ACCOUNT FOR MIDAIR PROPULSION OR HOMING EFFECTS ]

  [ NEW COMMON C.L.A.S.S. ACTION: ARCHERY / SUMMON ARROW — EFFECT: SUMMON A BASIC ARROW TO YOUR HAND — STRENGTH SCALING: PHYSICAL — RESTRICTION: HAND MUST BE AN OPEN AND EMPTY PALM — COST: TINY MP ]

  [ NEW COMMON CORE PASSIVE: KNOW YOUR ENEMY — EFFECT 1: AUTOMATICALLY TARGET THE SOURCE OF ANY DAMAGE TAKEN — EFFECT 2: IF YOUR CURRENT TARGET IS NOT THE SOURCE OF DAMAGE, YOU MAY MAINTAIN IT WITH CONSCIOUS EFFORT — WARNING: STEALTH EFFECTS MAY BYPASS THIS SKILL DEPENDING ON CONTROL S.T.A.T. ]

  I spot her as soon as she walks in the restaurant.

  I wave, ignoring the meaninglessness of such a gesture in a tiny alcove with no other tables or customers.

  At least it has a great view.

  Jessie doesn’t acknowledge the wave, but does walk over, smiling to herself all the while. “Sometimes, you don’t realize how badly you need something until you have it…”

  Proclamation made, she sits down.

  Was meant for me, or… “Come again?”

  The girl seems to finally notice I’m also in the room. “What? Oh, nothing. Just a Skill I got.”

  “What Skill?”

  “It’s called ‘Central Air’.”

  “That’s… A Common Core passive, right? I saw that one. Didn’t take it myself, but it seemed interesting. How is it?”

  Jessie lights up. “Oh my god, get this shit. It’s like everywhere’s air-conditioned all the time.”

  I was just feigning interest to be polite, but my jaw slackens and eyes widen at her explanation. I’ve never heard of ‘Central Air’. I didn’t realize…

  But I still remember Einhorn’s air-conditioned office. It was so long ago that I don’t even remember why I was called there. But the room itself? Unforgettable. Made me wish I got in more trouble just for that.

  Hands shaking, I navigate the system menus that thankfully don’t need hands. Finding it right away in my alphabetized list, I kick myself for not having actually read the description, even as I don’t hesitate to use one of my only two Skill Points.

  [ COMMON CORE PASSIVE GAINED: CENTRAL AIR — EFFECT 1: PERCEIVED AIR TEMPERATURE WILL NOT RISE ABOVE PRESET (DEFAULT 70o) — EFFECT 2: ADDS CUSTOMIZATION OPTIONS FOR MAXIMUM TEMPERATURE, HUMIDITY, ETC — NOTE: THIS DOES NOT AFFECT OPPOSITIONAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE OR DEBUFFS ]

  As it kicks in, I crumple into my chair like discarded laundry. “Oh my god…”

  Jessie smirks, having clearly guessed what I just did. “Right?”

  I bask in the blessedly cool, yet somehow room-temperature air. “My god… This is amazing.”

  Eventually wrenching myself out of the trance, I belatedly remember to lean forward and meet her eyeline as soon as she arrived. “So Jessie… You know why I asked you here?”

  “N-no? I mean I hope not. Obviously, there’s the standard suspicion when an old guy asks you out. But I really don’t think that’s what you’re going for with this whole ‘befriending me’ thing.”

  I feel my cheeks heating up. “Oh. I didn’t… Well, I mean… Thanks? But no. I asked you here because this place is expensive, runs on tokens, and each token admits two guests. So it felt like a waste to just go alone.”

  “Speaking of which… Where the fuck are we?”

  “The Restaurant.”

  “Oh… That explains everything. So this is THE restaurant, huh? You know, I always expected it to be wider.”

  I genuinely laugh for the first time in… How long? “Alright, here’s the deal. ‘The Restaurant’ isn’t a generic name or franchise or anything. It’s a singular place. That door you just walked in from connects to every system-recognized town or city or village or whatever across all of Humanity’s territories.”

  I pause to straight-up guzzle the whiskey I ordered. “There’s gotta be thousands, if not millions of people eating here right now in an instance of the same room. This room. With a table, two seats per token, a second door for the food to come through, and a window out of a skyscraper somewhere in Central. If the size and scope of the city weren’t a clue, you can tell where we are from those concentric rings up there.”

  At that, Jessie finally seems to notice the window spanning one entire wall. “Oh yeah…”

  As though in a trance, she gets up and goes to press her face against it.

  “The Restaurant is actually a pretty high-class place. They’ve got just about every type of food from Earth’s history. I just happened to receive some tokens as an apology for… Actually, nevermind. The important part is, other than the token itself, all the food and drinks are free. So by all means, order as much as you want of whatever you want. Even if you don’t, the token gets consumed once we leave. Apparently, this place prevents digestion. I’m not sure how that works. Or why. But there you go.”

  Jessie absentmindedly calls over her shoulder as she takes the city in. “Probably so people don’t wait to get hungry again and stay for a bunch of meals off one token.”

  I shrug, momentarily ignoring the chicken fettuccine alfredo set in front of me. “Good an explanation as any, I suppose.”

  And then she asks the very question I didn’t want to answer. “Sooo… I mean this is cool and all. But why me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’ve only actually met a few times, right? And I spent the last half-week hole up in a hotel room with no human contact. You’ve had all that time to make all sorts of new friends. Not to mention the ones you made before I jumped into your life. So, I mean yeah… Why me?”

  I really was hoping to avoid this topic… Nothing for it now. “Because you, my girl, are the only one in this whole place who will talk to me anymore.”

  Jessie stiffens, turning from the window, back to me. “No… What? Why, even?”

  “You know the whole Oneshot incident?”

  “The first or second?”

  “The one involving other people.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “Actually, the fact it was your second encounter is key to the problem.”

  Jessie gives me a blank look. “Wwwhyyy..?”

  “Because you’re the only one. Nobody else in town, or Outset as a whole for all I know, ever actually saw him before. Not even the mayor. Not before last H-Day, at least.”

  “I don’t see the issue.”

  “The issue… Is that right after we talked and you ran off back to that dungeon, I went around town and got that big group together. I picked the meeting spot.”

  I throw back some all-you-can-drink alcohol. “I identified Oneshot. And I antagonized him. And then they all died. Lost an item, too. Each their best one, if you can believe that. Which I can’t. Not that it mattered after word got around. Really, only Sennefer, Steven, and 12743226138 will even give me the time of day anymore.”

  Oh look, my glass is full. “Never mind that he killed me too. Never mind that I haven’t interacted with Oneshot before or since. None of it mattered in the face of the fact that they were all there because of me. And I wasn’t exactly a long-term resident. When all was said and done, the general consensus landed on me working with probably Heaven’s most notorious Wandering Maxlevel in a scheme to rob them, arguably the least affluent people in the world, of what little they had.”

  Jessie looks stricken. “But… But that’s so stupid. How could they think that? And what was that number you said? Twelve-billion-something?”

  I somehow manage another laugh. “Y-y-yeah… You’ll learn sooner or later that an angry mob is only smart as its stupidest member. And I didn’t exactly recruit for intelligence. To answer your other question, 12743226138 was my first real friend in the world. You kind of brought us together, actually. I spent a lot of time with her last week. But then I got suspended for a year. Care to guess who’s to blame for that?”

  “Hold up. Oneshot got you suspended from the orgy place? Why? I mean how? But mostly why?”

  I blanch. “Oh. So you do know some things…”

  She starts to giggle. “Wait, I just realized… Did you lose your token? To Oneshot? And now he has your ticket into any of those orgies? Oh my god, that’s hilarious. Do you think the Admins will snatch him up as soon as he even sets foot in one of those places? Oh fuck, will they snatch you up too?”

  I give her a moment.

  The giggling only intensifies.

  I make it a point to frown so as not to catch the admittedly contagious laughter. “You’re welcome for the food by the way.”

  Jessie side-eyes me through her hopeless laughing fit, eventually calming down enough to force out a clearly distracted reply. “Wow, that’s… A lot. So what’re you gonna do about it?”

  Absentmindedly stirring my food, I stop once I realize how gross that sounds. “What else is there to do?”

  I keep talking through a mouthful of pasta. “Imma get outta dodge.”

  Jessie makes a clearly concerted effort not to be grossed out. “You’re leaving?”

  Not being a ‘complete’ asshole, I take the hint and stop eating before I keep talking. “Have to. I’m not in the habit of hanging around where I’m neither wanted, nor have any business. And now that my business is done, there’s nothing left for me there but bad feelings.”

  Jessie seems to take that as some sort of implication. “And what business would that be?” The wrong one, as it turns out.

  Nonetheless, I smirk.

  [ GUILD / MICH: HI JESSIE ]

  Jessie barks out a laugh of congratulations.

  [ GUILD / JESSIE: HI MICH ]

  A moment of silence passes as I bask in the ironically depressing level of impressed surprise coming from the girl.

  [ GUILD / LUMBERJILL: FASCINATING ]

  I bark out a laugh of my own. “I barely made it to level four in time. I had to work around the clock just finding XP sources. Even went and tried that dungeon you mentioned. But I died.”

  Jessie looks almost hurtfully shocked. “Really? Without running and getting crushed by the boulders? I know I found a good loop to maximize DPS, but was the boss really that hard?”

  I wince. “Boss? No, I didn’t even make it past the spider swarm.”

  “…Wait, really? You?”

  I can’t help being a little offended now. “What do you mean-”

  I screw up my face and adopt a squeaky, Jessie-esque voice. “-Me?”

  Jessie seems to remember where she is and who she’s talking to. “Oh… Nothing, I guess?”

  She looks down at her plate. “Sorry…”

  “Don’t be. I get it. But I’m an ‘Archer’, remember? I’m sure I’ll get splitting arrows or exploding ones or some nonsense later on. But I’m not particularly effective against large groups like that. Not until I get a solid AoE, anyway. And there’s nothing like that below Rare.” God knows I checked…

  “Sorry, it’s just… Four is a ‘large’ group?”

  I’m a little offended. In all my time doing anything, I’ve never fought that many hostiles at once. Not alone, anyway.

  Might as well toss out everything I know about long-distance combat if I’m outnumbered four-to-one at melee range. “Yes. In real life, a fight like that is called a ‘beatdown’.”

  “I dunno man, I cleared that thing a lot. But I technically can’t say I disagree. Except… You don’t think this-”

  She raises her eyebrows and gestures all around her to the infinitely instantiated, fully automated food dispensary looking out at, in more ways than one, an impossible city. “-counts as real life?”

  As ridiculous as her example is clearly meant to be, I’m legitimately taken aback by the reality-check. “No, of course it is. On Earth, then. But I take your point. That isn’t ‘real life’ anymore, is it?”

  I groan. Shit… “I think I might suck at combat in real life… Or maybe you just don’t? I know which one I prefer, but…”

  Jessie takes an oddly contemplative stance at what I meant as a self-deprecating compliment, nonetheless clearly reaching some sort of conclusion. “I mean it’s all luck of the draw, right? What were your starting STATs?”

  “What do you mean? I started with Sixteen across the board. Same as everyone.”

  Jessie’s face goes completely blank. “Y-yeah… That’s right.”

  She didn’t know that, did she?

  Or in other words, an opening. “So, maybe I’m not particularly weak. Maybe you’re just particularly strong.”

  Jessie actually blushes. “Sure… I guess…”

  But I have to admit… “It also miiight have to do with my complete lack of interest or experience in archery of any kind.”

  “Oh? I mean me too, actually. But I didn’t pick an Archer CLASS. And there’s no reality where I would. So why did you? Seems kinda counterproductive to choose a powerset you don’t even like.”

  Shit. Walked right into that one, didn’t I? Well alright, let’s just go ahead and re-open that wound.

  In a well-practiced motion, I down half of my newly refilled whiskey. “So all my ‘Earth life’ combat expertise was with ranged weaponry. That’s years and years of training and practice and risking my life that wouldn’t be especially relevant with, for example, a katana. But I can’t do guns. Not anymore. As soon as I even think of it… Well, this happens.”

  Fighting all my instincts to think about literally anything else, I lift my hands above the table. Even that much is hard with how badly they’re trembling.

  “I can’t hold a gun anymore.” I belt out a laugh at myself this time. “I can’t even think about them.”

  “Wow. But why archery then? I can’t imagine the only ranged options involve bows or guns. What about, like, I dunno… A wizard? Is that a thing here? With fireballs and stuff?”

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  That actually does sound better. Except… “I’m really not sure what you’re getting at. The only options I had for a Long-Range Attack Specialty were Sniper, Gunslinger, or Archer. That’s it. So I went with the one that didn’t require holding a gun. Not much of a choice, but it’s what I had to work with.”

  Jessie looks like she’s thinking hard about something. “Wow, the Specialty options were that limited? I never looked into ranged stuff, so maybe there’s just less going on there than with melee? That doesn’t sound right for some reason… But what Subclass did you go with? That was the layer with all the choices.”

  I rack my brain to recall which ones I considered. “I picked Chinese for my Subclass. I remember there were a few others, but they seemed distinctly worse. So I just went with the obvious choice.”

  “How’s that obvious?”

  “Not much of a history buff?”

  Jessie just laughs in my face.

  “Thought not. Well, if you were, you might notice that nearly all of history’s most notorious archers were Chinese.”

  “So Chinese people are just better at archery then? Isn’t that kinda… I dunno… Racist?”

  That’s the moment I remember I’ve been talking to a teenager. “No, no. It’s no more genetic than with any country with a thing they’re famously good at. China has the longest tradition of integrating bows and arrows into martial combat. Of course they’d have a leg up on anyone else historically.”

  I smugly take a bite of pasta and down it with the other half of that whiskey. “But that’s the point, isn’t it? The Skills are what’s important. And those are derived from that same history. An exaggerated version at that, since Heaven doesn’t seem to distinguish what actually happened from what most people believe.”

  “If it’s so good, shouldn’t you have kicked the spider’s asses, then?”

  I shake my head. “I never said it was a good option for me. I said it was the best one I had. But you’re right. The CLASS itself isn’t bad. The matchup though? The Chinese tradition of archery has a lot of options when it comes to ranged combat. But none for melee. They had other weapons for that, each with their own traditions separate from the bow. Like halberds and things. I guess I could’ve tried stabbing them with arrows, or used the bow as a makeshift staff. But neither of those things are very good at that compared to an actual spear or staff. Or a bayonet. But bows don’t have those. At least none that I can afford…”

  “So why didn’t you bring another weapon?”

  “In retrospect, I probably should’ve taken a dagger at least. Those can be equipped in a secondary slot. But it’s not like I have dagger training either. So I don’t know how effective that’d be.”

  Jessie snickers at me. “You think I have katana training?”

  “You don’t?”

  “I’ve never even seen one.”

  I eye the one she’s wearing.

  “Not in ‘real life’, I mean.”

  “Then how the hell did you kill all those spiders? And you said there was a boss?”

  “Admittedly, the System held my hand a lot. I have this Optimal Damage Multiplication Skill that kind of carried me through it.”

  “Optimal damage… Multiplication? What in the bullshit..?”

  Jessie immediately goes on the defensive. “Not like it’s a passive or toggle or something. I have to trigger it as I draw, deal some damage, resheathe without taking any myself, and then the multiplier hits.”

  “And you have… Absolutely no swordsmanship training?”

  She shrugs. “Not like I need it when all I do is take it out, smack some spiders, and run away before putting it back.”

  She seems to think for a moment. “Although the whole thing would’ve probably taken like ten times the smacks without that Skill.”

  My eyes flatten of their own volition. “‘Smack’… With a sword. And that actually worked? Amazing…”

  Jessie blushes, clearly mistaking what I thought was ‘amazing’. “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty good. I thought Heaven of all places would’ve been more balanced, but maybe some CLASSes are just straight-up better than others?”

  Seeming to realize something, her face brightens. “Say… When you were looking around at all those weird clones of yourself, did any of the options… Glow?”

  Clearly sensing the incomprehensibility of her own question, Jessie hurries to amend. “A different color from the rest, I mean?”

  Leaning back in my chair, I try to remember all the little details of that whole CLASS and CRAFT selection that I admittedly didn’t pay much attention to. “Do you mean the different colors for the Lane, Archetype, Specialty, and Subclass?”

  “No. I mean yes? I mean were any of them colored different from the rest in the same group?”

  “I… Don’t think so?”

  “Huh… Guess you would’ve noticed. I take it you didn’t get a message saying you added any skills or anything to the system?”

  Is she messing with me?

  I narrow my eyes. “No. Of course not. I’ve never even heard of such a thing. Did you get a message like that?”

  Jessie looks sheepish. Embarrassed even. “Yeah… I added a Skill. Or maybe a bunch of Skills? I’m not really sure. There were a lot of different colors and options, and I was really tired and I didn’t exactly get to look around before it made me move on.”

  “What? Why not? Sounds like you hit some kind of jackpot or something. What did you end up picking then? It must’ve been pretty great if-”

  “Anime.”

  I drop my fork. My jaw goes with it. “…What?”

  Jessie flinches back. “What?”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because… I love anime?”

  “What? Why would you… What are they teaching kids these days..?”

  She folds her arms. “Oh, is this because of BFS again?”

  “Yes it’s because of BFS again! What, do you also take inspiration from Rudolf von Alt?”

  “What the fuck is a roodoff vonalt?”

  “He’s-” But the fact she doesn’t know is my whole point…

  This is going nowhere and I already have a headache. “Never mind. So you just went and chose anime of all things… Not only that, but you didn’t even look at your other options?”

  This seems to make Jessie just the kind of frustrated I was trying to avoid. “Not like I had an actual fucking choice. The CLASS and CRAFT selected themselves practically as soon as I glanced their way. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with what I got. I even think the system took my initial excitement as confirmation before I could even consciously consider what I wanted.”

  I pick my fork back up. “Did it now..? Can’t say I’ve experienced that myself.”

  “Were you ever really excited about any of your system choices?”

  “Well… The air conditioning…”

  Jessie rolls her eyes. “Which you bought with a Skill Point as soon as I told you what it was. Because of course you did. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t. But I mean were you ever psyched for a choice you didn’t make right away?”

  My smile stiffens.

  I really don’t want to say out loud that I haven’t been psyched about much of anything since the boat… “No… No, I haven’t. Not since…”

  Jessie’s entire posture droops into a sudden depressive slump, staring down at her food while she aimlessly stirs it. “The boat…”

  “…What?”

  Jessie’s head jerks back like she just remembered there was anyone else in the room. “Sorry… Kinda fell into my own little world for a minute there. What were we talking about?”

  My own wide-eyed stare is still present and accounted for. “You were saying something about…”

  Try as I may, I can’t help but gulp. “A, uh, boat?”

  Jessie keeps her posture, but stares back down. “Oh yeah… Boat… I died on a boat. I was just thinking about that.”

  She chokes out a dark chuckle. “Hard not to, you know?”

  I try to keep my voice at a respectful register and resist the urge to scream. “I do know what you mean. But that’s only to be expected when it keeps feeling like it only just happened. How did it happen, by the way? If you don’t mind me asking…”

  Damn, that was blunt…

  But she doesn’t seem to mind as she goes right into telling me all about the boat. About her brother. About everything.

  Or at least she starts to.

  I’m not sure what else she says after my worst fears are immediately confirmed.

  Oh. My god. OhmygodohmygodOHMYGOD!!! It’s not that she reminds me of her. She is her! What do I do? What do I not do? Does this change anything? Shouldn’t it change everything?

  I don’t interrupt. But my heart rate does skyrocket while I pretend to listen. On Earth, this definitely would’ve been a heart attack. And the stillness with which I’m sitting gets harder and harder to maintain.

  But I do. Somehow, I maintain it. It was her. She’s… A monster. “You… You’re a mon-”

  But no… Not at all. She doesn’t see it like that, does she? In her own little world, she’s the good guy. She’s the hero. And who am I to argue? Isn’t the fact that she’s here, all the evidence either of us should need?

  And… It was safe. She could’ve gotten away. If I just told her the truth… If I hadn’t shot… Everything would’ve turned out different.

  And this kid… She’s just so goddamned earnest about it. About him. About me.

  I shake my head clear of the bad idea. No. She doesn’t need to know. The best possible result of this mess is for that memory not to be tainted. I’m no psychologist, but I can see that plain as day. She’s stuck with it forever, after all. And where should redemption take place if not in Heaven?

  At a certain point, Jessie just watches me in extended silence before eventually seeming to get fed up and breaking it herself. “Okay, what’s up?”

  My eyes refocus as I remember there was anyone else in the room. How long have I been sitting here? “Oh. Sorry… What’s up with what?”

  Jessie looks like she’s staring down a serial killer. God, why is that where my mind goes for a comparison? Oh that’s right… “Not much… It’s just that I told you the thing that’s been haunting me for over a week now, will haunt me forever from the sounds of it, and then you just sat there for like three minutes before you went all-” She lowers her voice and does a pretty solid imitation of the way I’m sitting. “You… You’re a mon…”

  Her posture goes back to normal. “And then total silence while you just stared into the middle distance until I said something. What, exactly, am I supposed to do with that if not wonder what, the fuck, is up?”

  For my part, I still don’t know what to say. So instead, I stutter out a half-baked excuse. “S-sorry, my mind was elsewhere, I guess.”

  But does she really not know? How can she not know?

  How do I even ask about it without giving up the game? “Have you ever done something you truly regret?”

  She blinks at me. “Oookay, that’s a hell of a change of topic. I mean… Yes? I regret dying pretty hard. But I’m equally sure that’s what got me into Heaven. So ‘regret’ isn’t exactly my prevailing emotion about the whole thing.”

  Don’t I know it… “My own death has everything to do with why I don’t use guns. And good for you, by the way. To make it here unbroken as you are.” My ass…

  Jessie chuckles darkly. “I dunno… Wouldn’t go that far…”

  Nor would I. But I also know a conversational atom bomb when I hear one. And we’ve been skirting way too close for my liking as it is.

  Time to actually change the subject I think… “So Jessie, you spent the last half-week recovering from… Burnout, was it?”

  Not seeming to mind the change herself, Jessie smiles sheepishly. “Yes? I mean maybe..? Close enough, I guess. Yeah, I’m feeling better now. The air conditioning helps more than I would’ve thought. Ever since I picked that up, it’s all been a lot easier to cope with.”

  I have a few theories about that myself.

  But I stay silent to avoid what is, after all, the very subject I’m trying to veer us away from. “So what’s next for Jessie?”

  Said Jessie shrugs. “I dunno… I had a goal. I even thought I was there. But now it seems hopelessly distant. I mean I still wanna kill that guy. But I don’t even know where to begin with that… What should I do next?”

  “I think you’re forgetting something important here.”

  “…What?”

  “This is Heaven, remember?”

  “Oh yeah, I forgot. What’s your point?”

  “The unemployment rate is through the roof.”

  “Okay… So, what, I should get a job?”

  “Not at all. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

  “And that would be?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  Jessie seems to really think it over. “Well… I wanna get stronger, I guess…”

  “That’s a good first step. A lot of ways to go about it, though.”

  I gesture out the window. “Weren’t you saying you wanted to go to Central? Seems like that’s even where the guild wants us.”

  “I was kinda thinking of walking there…”

  Now we’re getting somewhere… “So when do you wanna head out?”

  Jessie shifts noncommittally in her seat. “After this, I guess?”

  “Want company on your trip?”

  “I… Wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to something along those lines. Just the two of us though?”

  I do my best pout. “I’m not good enough?”

  Jessie spoon-flicks some sauce at me. “You know what I mean. Even if nothing ‘happens’… It’s just awkward, you know?”

  I resist the urge to wipe my forehead dry. “The more the merrier. I’m sure we can pick someone up along the way. But I’m basically shunned by the local community, so any recruiting in the venerated Town of All Beginnings, will have to be a ‘you’ job.”

  Jessie scrunches her nose. “Oh… Yeah, no. Fuck that shit. I’m perfectly happy letting you handle all the socializing in what I really thought was gonna be a solo thing.”

  “You’re up for it, then?”

  Jessie crosses her arms. Then uncrosses them. Then crosses them again.

  Then she sighs. “Fuck it. Yeah, I’m in.”

  I can’t hide my own excitement at finally getting to leave. “Have you bought your own bed yet?”

  Jessie looks nonplussed. “What? No, that’s so random. Why would I buy a bed?”

  “Because they work like chairs is why. You can deploy them anywhere. And even the worst ones are better than sleeping on the ground. Unless you want to sleep on the ground? I don’t get it myself, but I know there are plenty of people who-”

  “No! No, fine, I’ll go buy a bed. Fuck… I was just gonna go from inn to inn or whatever.”

  I fold my own arms this time. “What exactly do you picture this trip being? Because unless it’s just a straight-on sprint from town to town until we get to Central, then I’m sorry to tell you that won’t work.”

  “What’s wrong with my plan? Seems pretty sensible for a road trip, as you called it.”

  I just throw her a vacant stare for a few moments before answering. “Let me put it this way… You’ve played video games, right? I seem to remember that about you.”

  Jessie blushes for some reason while rolling her eyes.

  “Specifically, have you ever played any of those big, sprawling open-world RPGs?”

  Jessie’s still blushing, only now with a defensive underpinning. “You know I have. What’s your point?”

  I don’t quite know what to make of that. Did we ever talk about that? Or does she mean Immortalia Online?

  But that’s well within the danger zone, so… “Okay, let’s say you start one up. And at the very beginning, the story quest wants you to go to the opposite end of the map. Do you just head straight there as fast as you can? Or do you explore? Do you delve into caves? Or temples? Or any number of things littered throughout the world?”

  Jessie seems to think for a moment. “Yeah… I always just head straight there.”

  “Wait, what? Seriously?”

  “Theoretically, all the best stuff is locked behind story progression anyway, right? So I’ll just go straight there and skip the rest until I can actually access all the best doors and stuff. Besides, then I’ll be so overpowered for all that other shit that it’s basically God-Mode. Which is, of course, awesome.”

  “We are so different…”

  “You don’t say…”

  “But not horrible logic, all things considered. So if that’s your philosophy on how to RPG, then why not just take the train?”

  “I don’t wanna take the train?”

  “Why not? That’s the quickest path to progression. Once you get an Attunement, everything will be easier. Then you can just overpower everything you’d struggle against today.”

  “Because I wouldn’t get a Mythic katana that way.”

  “I got the same offer, remember? Who says you need to check into the guild right away? You could just go get your Attunement, level up while you do it, and check in later.”

  “Okay, what the fuck is an attunement?”

  “Agni, Boreas, Calypso, Deimos, Eos, Fulgora, Gaia, or Horus.”

  “Gazoontite.”

  My mouth twitches. “Fine then. You’ll find out more in Central if you’re gonna be an ass about it. The main terminal is apparently littered with propaganda about them. Can’t miss it since you’ll have to go there first anyway.”

  “But the guild would know I did that, right? Doesn’t that kind of go against the spirit of the deal?”

  “Does spirit matter?”

  “Doesn’t it? I didn’t get a quest when Steven laid it out for us. I could technically go to Central and just not check in. But it’s meant as a challenge, right? Couldn’t they just refuse to award it if I did that? Not that I’d blame them…”

  I gesture grandly at the door. “Town’s through there, Jessie. So is Steven, I bet. It’s still E-Day morning, so you can probably find him in the Quest Hall-”

  Jessie pounds the table. “No!”

  Grumbling under her breath, she re-assembles the burger she just toppled.

  I smile warmly at the outburst while I wait for her to elaborate. Not the best outlet for that repressed rage of hers, but a clear improvement over keeping it bottled.

  Jessie finally reassembles both burger and composure. “I don’t want to do that. I told you. I wasn’t really thinking it through back then. But now, I definitely wanna walk there. If for no other reason than to figure out what I’m actually doing with all this anime sword shit before I decide what arrangement to apparently commit to.”

  “Attunement.”

  “Gesundheit.”

  I glare at the shit-eating grin across from me before eventually just ignoring it. “Not the worst plan. You can change Attunements, but the Blessings you get from that are apparently far worse if it’s your second choice. Let alone third and beyond. So it’s in your best interest to get it right the first time.”

  Jessie solemnly bobs her head. “Sounds like I was right all along, then.”

  Yeah, well, be that as it may… “Why do you really want to walk all that way?”

  “I wanna be careful and take it easy and…” She seems to notice how complete my lack of belief truly is.

  Then she slumps in her chair and stares vacantly out the window. “I wanna take in the beauty of this place before the other shoe drops.”

  “You’re afraid that… What? You’ll be disillusioned?”

  Jessie scoffs. “Afraid..? No, I know I’ll be disillusioned. Right now, minus one shithead, this whole place seems like the kind of idyllic paradise I’ve always dreamed of. But I know that’s wrong. The underbelly has to be all fucked up and corrupt. I can practically smell it. You said ‘propaganda’ earlier. That alone confirms it.”

  “Confirm what? That new people would be actively recruited for the different sides?”

  “No. That those sides are governments.”

  I try very hard not to flinch. “Who said anything about governments? ‘Sides’ can refer to anything the least bit competitive. I could be talking about sports for all you know.”

  “You said ‘propaganda’. Not ‘ads’. Or ‘flyers’. Or anything that could possibly be associated with anything but politics. I don’t even know who the factions are. And I don’t know who they discriminate against. Probably each other. Probably Central. Probably anyone from the Adventurer’s Guild. Probably me. And probably a bunch of minorities arbitrarily sprinkled in there too.”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t know. But once I do, I’ll never be able to look at the Gamesphere the same again.”

  She can’t keep the snicker out of her voice as she says that. But it fades all too quickly. “I just kinda wanna… You know… Keep it going for a bit.”

  “That’s a bleak view to take of Heaven, of all things.”

  “Am I wrong?”

  I can only sigh. “Probably not… Like I said, I don’t actually know all that much about the different sides. Or factions. Or governments. But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t any in play.”

  “So you’ll give up on convincing me not to go?”

  “It was never about that. This is Heaven. You can go wherever you want, whenever you want. And no one, least of all me, should be able to stop you. I just wanted to know your reasoning.”

  “What are you, my therapist?”

  I stiffen. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing, isn’t it?

  At that realization, I put the metaphorical car into literal reverse. “Not if you see sense and buy a bed.”

  “Yeah, sure. I guess I see your point. It’s not like I even have a full set of Equipment yet. I shouldn’t just be skipping steps when I don’t even have the basics.”

  “Glad to hear it. Ready to get going, then?”

  Jessie looks at me like I just let out a big, wet, sloppy fart. “What? No, I’ve hardly even eaten anything. I still need to stuff my face as much as possible without digesting or whatever.”

  So she does.

  Shrugging, so do I.