As always, everything goes wrong. My hopes resolve themselves, but always in the worst possible way. I'm starting to doubt that this isn't divine intervention. But again, maybe it was to put myself to the test.

  Now, as usual, I was obligated to bear and deal with it.

  “Hero, you were there?! Don’t worry. I’m aware of your situation, and I will save you. You thugs, your price will be mine, so don't waste time negotiating. How much?”

  The voice’s owner was well known to me. She was a young adult in an expensive Victorian dress with slender proportions. She had long, wavy, almost white-blond hair and gave off a feeling of greatness and kindness.

  “Ahem, Lucies, I’m not a prisoner anymore, technically speaking. But how the hell were you aware of my predicament?”

  “... State secrets. … Well, something like that. I was spying on a certain someone and heard rumors about your being.”

  “This someone wouldn’t be a depraved oily fat baldy, perchance?”

  “So you know of him already?”

  “Yup, I could attend one of his ‘situation reports’ thanks to our dear friends here. Lucas, let me introduce you to Lucie, the key to all your present problems.” And the future binding lock of mine.

  “Hi, nice to meet you. Princess Lucie, at your service. <3”

  Can’t you be normal? We’re not in a show, and there is no crowd to look at you. Why do you have to wave your hand like that? Well, anything would be a facade anyway. Why am I bothered? It's not like this childish air will affect anyone.

  “Hey, hello, missy. Are you a gift from heaven? Or was it sent to you personally? Otherwise, how could our names be so similar? I’m Lucas, a handsome thug in redemption of mature age, a bit perverted but caring, and most importantly, celibate and ready to found a family. Would you be interested by any chance?”

  Or not; my bad, it did. Nice play; you just get yourself yet another fool to your feet already. If I had water in my mouth, I would have choked. Fortunately, I had none. Instead, I was suffocated by brutal acid reflux caused by an irresistible urge to reject all I could, as I couldn’t deny what I just heard.

  “Yuck! You! Are yo-uugh-, are you kidding me!!!?”

  …

  Nearly throwing up, It took me a good minute to recover from Lucas's idiocy before redoing the scene from the beginning again.

  “Sorry, let’s start over, Lucas. This is Lucie, the princess, Lucie Remania Olest, from the famous south kingdom of… well, Remania. Family name is Olest, from the actual current ruling family. She is the real deal, not a missy, even less a girl of our level, so could you please not be so familiar?”

  You are at least twice as old. I knew you were a pervert, but is that your type? Noble délicate and clumsy princesse?

  No wonder you are still a brigand. She’s not something you would come upon with another profession. Anyway, a gift? She’s more like a curse. Despite her innocent appearance, she has more blood on her hands than most professional murderers would, and that’s not the worst about her.

  “Oh…. Sorry, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Your voice sounded delicate, and your face was enchanting. Please pardon my rudeness.”

  “Excuse accepted. I’m not petty, and your compliments go straight to my heart. Sadly, I’m not as unreachable as the hero said, but I’m already into someone right here. But I’m happy you’d ask; frank and direct speaking is what we miss the most down here.”

  “By here, you mean…”

  “Yes! She’s into me, doesn’t pay attention, she’s like that and already knows my answer. ”

  “So you finally resolved yourself! Good, I’ll tell Father to prepare for our grand wedding behind closed doors.”

  How do you wish to have both a grand wedding and a closed-door one? Do you want to display it openly while disguising yourself for another?

  Not gonna happen. You’re not even crazy like the other two, just downright stubborn and addicted to the impossible. You, from every single possibility on this planet, won’t ever make my heart move, nor my body. I just can’t, and you know it.

  “NO, I DIDN’T. Please refrain from any more jokes. I’m already married and devoted to my wives.”

  I wish she would stop there. Besides the recent addition of Anna, my new pursuer, I have already had my hands full with Lily and my mysterious first wife. It's getting tough. I can't cope with more until I resolve Anna’s unknown attachment toward me.

  “So, what is the situation? I thought you required help and was so happy to save you, for you would’ve been indebted, but it seems you’re fine. From which issues am I supposed to be the solution? Still about our piggy friends?”

  “Yup, besides, you seem to know him well, an executive of your kingdom?”

  “Nah, if only that’s our minister of external affairs.”

  “... Seriously?”

  “I’m dead serious.”

  “I assume you are aware of his… trend and inclination? ”

  “And not just a little.” She’s on ne peut plus sincere. Why the fuck do you have this animal working as a minister?

  “He’s good at his job and stupid enough to let us use him against other countries. Well, he was. Recently, we found he was a tad more shabby and scummy than we thought?”

  ???? He reeks of dishonesty and ill intention, and his whole being is a display of malice and depravity. Just… How? Were you not a genius who always knows everything about your and everyone else's country?

  “Well, I knew, of course, but he really was a good pawn, with atrocious fetishes, but still usable. All I needed was to make sure he didn’t fall any more than that and get him the girls he lacked, all spies on my payroll, willing and well remunerated.”

  And how did he get the chance to sink that much?

  This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

  “That, I don’t know. I didn’t expect it; it was troublesome indeed. One day, I mean, over the years I spent by your side, he became his current self as if out of nowhere. Upon my grand return, he was changed.”

  Can you please stop reading my mind? And don't say anything that could be misinterpreted.

  “I didn’t read your thoughts. They’re all painted over your face. And then? Are you gonna deny all the time we spent together, hero?”

  Princess, please become my wi--

  “I accept!”

  SO YOU DID!

  “Ahem, s’cuse me, your majesty, but could you stop this crazy monologue? I don’t have the capacity to speak with the mind as much as I would like it.” Lucas, who seemed totally lost but had waited patiently until now, finally understood what was going on and allowed himself to remind us that we were not alone.

  “You don’t have to. I’m joking; I do have this talent, but it requires the presence of both parties to work. The hero is just too easy to read. ”

  “Sorry, Lucas, she's the queen of manipulation, so I got caught as usual. Although I have doubts about the last part.” Was I that easy to read?

  After a brief interruption, wondering if I was imagining things, I continued. “Never mind, so what was that all about?”

  “To be honest, I only have theories. But I’m pretty sure my minister is no longer himself. I don’t know who and how, but he seems to be another person since at most 4 years ago.”

  “What makes you say that? Couldn’t it be that he just had an existential crisis?”

  “Some clues don't lie. That man’s fetishes are way too different, and he used to be a hardcore M… Now, he harshly trains illegal slaves, and he doesn't stop himself from hurting them. He doesn’t go as far as torture, but that’s about the only thing they are spared from .”

  ... I see

  “Soon after my return, I became wary of him, but he became hard to manage. My spies were all gone or thanked for their service and fired. He obtained a whole training facility from nowhere, and he now has his own source of staff. It has been a pain in the ass to try and send in a new spy. It’s only been a while, and I found out, among other things, about you, hero, nearly as soon as I succeeded. If that's not a sign, you should reconsider my marriage proposal.”

  “Yes, yes, I will, when we would be the only two beings still alive in the world, and yet my answer will not change.”

  “How cold… Anyway, when I heard of you, I hacked his means of communication, and here I am. I don't know much more. The rest is still under investigation. What about you?”

  …

  In the end, the most knowledgeable person was still Lucas. Once again, but without the wine and the unnecessary interruptions, he made a quick summary, explained our situation and plan, and our slave problem. Then followed an exchange of information, and by exchange, I mean where Lucie asked, and Lucas answered.

  It was supposed to guarantee his survival, but because she was delighted to put her hand on that gold mind effortlessly, she gave him her royal word to keep him alive, regardless of his crime.

  She would consider an adequate punishment later on.

  Luck was definitely on his side because she went as far as to propose employment to him once he finished. For the next few years, he will help her dig into what was hidden behind all this, allowing him to redeem himself.

  She had an eye for talent, and Lucas was indeed a perfect tool she could use. Clever and knowledgeable, he was already working on the file.

  I wish he could make her busy enough when it would be all over. At that time, I would need her to forget me for a moment. A few minutes, perhaps an hour, would suffice for Lily and me to escape her grasp and a week to flee outside her area of ??influence.

  …

  The next couple of days quickly went by. Fortunately, Lucie's intervention was helpful, and she had a proficient mage on hand, capable of breaking or altering contracts. She gave the order and sent him to our location.

  Her man should have a problem arriving on time and will wait near the bandit hideout for us to do the cleaning before stepping in. Moreover, she would send spies to the town to uncover those of others.

  Lily and Anna were informed of the situation immediately after our unexpected call, and Lily used her available time to recover almost entirely from her injuries. As for Anna, she made preparations and modifications to the shifting plant and assignments of the working staff so as to gather the other slaves together in multiple closed places.

  This would prevent them from hindering us and guarantee their safety. It was also necessary to prevent them from fleeing if one of them ever received the order to contact his master in the case of an unexpected event.

  As for me, me? I chilled out, or rather, I worked hard not to lose my cool and change my thoughts before the fateful moment. Causing a scene now or later and falling into lust would endanger the operation. Indeed, I would be fighting alongside the captives soon, and since they were almost naked, I was doomed to receive a series of irresistible visions.

  As if my current situation wasn't already unbearable enough...

  It had been a while since I had the opportunity to touch a girl, and from the moment I met Lily, my life had been nothing but a sweet nightmare. By her side, I was under constant voluntary and involuntary teasing, and I had made great efforts to build resistance to her advances. But recently, the situation worsened and became more precarious than ever.

  A new troublesome foe named Anna joined forces with Lil, and their attempt only intensified even while we were prisoners. Moreover, I was surrounded on all sides by mature, beautiful ladies who kept all their charms and young, pretty girls in their prime.

  I may say that I was about to become a monk, but it was a close call between this ending and becoming a ferocious beast. Now that I was about to reach one of these two states, I could see very well the limit between enlightenment and madness was thin.

  To tell you the truth, peace of mind and serenity weren’t my thing. I had been struggling all day to keep my mind calm and not give in to my imagination, so I might have been even closer to the bad end than I thought… My willpower was drawing near its limit, and I feared losing my temper.

  So, I was meditating.

  I had to stay calm and preserve my means so I would be ready at any moment since we couldn’t forecast what might happen. After a few days, we would proceed to fight our way out of this cell and start the hostilities, but before that, I had to ensure nothing would come to disturb our plant.

  It wasn’t the time to indulge myself in orgies, be it hallucinations, wet dreams, or acts of insanity. Furthermore, I didn’t know how much time I would be forced to keep holding back since I was unlikely to continue my adventure on a path free from pitfalls called Lily and Anna.

  Besides, now that I think about it, I have a bad feeling… Something’s telling me only troubled water is awaiting me. Deep and muddy, but above all, as far as the eye can see. I hope that Lucie doesn’t have in mind what I have in mine because this princess was fairly capable of getting people to work for her against their will and free of charge.

  I’m sure she had already considered using us to clean her Ministry of Foreign Affairs. I'll have to run away and hide again after this. There's no way I’m gonna be tricked by her once again! I still haven't recovered from the first...

  ***

  “My name’s Lucas, only two letters apart from Her Majesty’s. Our first encounter was like a thunderbolt, but not dictated by love. Although I did find her marvelous at that time, that wasn’t what I meant, even if I asked her for her hand on the spot. Everything was but an error, only a side effect of her greatness and mesmerizing figure.

  I quickly realized my stupidity, but she gently rejected me without letting me make excuses, without laughing or making fun of me. She even used her love as justification not to hurt my feelings and apologized instead. Her face was pure, and her golden hair crown radiated all over the dark room, filling it with light.

  She was still only a princess then, yet she already had a Queen aura. I won’t display what brought me to come face to face with her because it’s not worth it. All you need to know is that I was a bad guy, a villain, and I had never done anything deserving of good treatment.

  But it didn’t prevent her from giving me forgiveness without knowing my past or wrongdoings. On a whim, she changed my life, gave me a job and a goal, and accepted me as I was. To this day, she never asks me to correct my bad sides or habits, and I continue to serve her loyally because of this.

  I Will forever remember that day when I met our majesty. She was like a god, predestined to rule me and this kingdom’s people.”

  Between human and god, the silken ruler - testimony of greatness. unknown author

  taken from witness report transcript, by OAM (Our Almighty Majesty) Fanclub