The following morning, Drim went to sort out the vending machine incident with the hotel manager. However, it seemed the manager instantly recognized him and went into a panicked state. When the boy brought up the incident, the manager got down on the ground, sobbing and begging for forgiveness. He promised to comp their rooms and do anything the FIend asked in order to be spared. Drim left some money on the ground and walked out of the room slowly.
They rendezvoused with Mallea shortly after, and she flew them back home. When they landed, the leader gave everyone the day off. He told them to take care of any business they had before tomorrow, since they’d be away on their next job for quite a while. Then he proceeded to Nathym’s workshop where the two of them stayed holed up for the rest of the day, working on plans and devices they’d need to achieve Drim’s plan.
Phon immediately took off as well, stating that she had something to take care of. Even though they had the time to do with as they pleased, Kada and Xard came to an agreement. Not wanting to leave their assignment incomplete for a long time, they decided to try their best to finish moving the mountain. The pair was quite close already, and it’d probably only take them a few more days at their normal pace. Filled with determination, they teamed up to get it done.
It was almost midnight when they’d finished and returned to the shed. Drim was waiting for them and congratulated them on a job well done. He also told them that Nathym was going to build their permanent housing while they were away, and said they should think of any ideas they had for their rooms and any other features. Though he also asked them to hold off on their requests for a few days, since The Engineer would be pulling an all nighter on their trip preparations.
The Vixen also hadn’t returned, seeming like she’d be gone for the night as well. They all took turns guessing what she was up to, since she hadn’t even told her brother where she was going. Drim woke up early the next morning to talk to Mallea and told her what he expected of her while they were away. The butler made an argument about why she should go along, but ultimately lost to her boss’ wishes. Phon returned soon after with a box in hand and went to go pack her things. Once everyone was wide awake and ready to go, they headed over to Nathym’s workshop.
“Morning everyone,” the exhausted tinkerer yawned as he sipped on a cup of coffee, watching a machine work.
“Your yawns are pathetic, Assistant. Experience true exhaustion, then try again.” Everyone jumped when Ahvra suddenly appeared from the elevator hidden behind a tool rack which led into the secret lab.
“Ahh, it’s Ahvra!” Kada squealed. “She looks so adorable just like always. Can I have a farewell hug?!”
“Oh right… I honestly forgot she joined us,” Xard commented. “This is legitimately my first time seeing her since she arrived.”
“I wish every day that were true,” Phon sighed.
“Well, Useful One and Butler Maid are the only among you who have come to visit me,” Ahvra chided the group. “You all should be more social. Moving on. From what I’ve heard of your plan, Useful One, it is foolish, dangerous, and convoluted. Robbing every bank in the world can only be described as such. However, it is a grand venture, inspiring, and I can’t deny I’m a little envious to not be a part of it. Think of all the data I could attain traveling the world!”
“Erm, how do you know any of his plan?” The Engineer wondered. “You haven’t left the lab in days.”
“The first thing I did upon my arrival, after everyone went to bed, was install monitoring equipment all over the compound,” The Witch admitted. “I may not be social, but I do like to be kept in the loop. Plus, if something interesting happens with your Curses, or any other Fiendish aspect, I want it recorded for unlimited observation.”
“That’s an extreme violation of privacy,” Phon accused, causing everyone to stare at her, dumbfounded at the irony of her statement. “I’m annoyed I didn’t do it first.”
“Phon, you’re already a walking violation of privacy,” her brother remarked. “It’s fine that you did that, Ahvra, but try not to hide things. Please send us access to the feeds when you get the chance.”
“It’s not like I was trying to hide it, it just never came up, and didn’t seem important,” Ahvra defended herself. “Anyways, that isn’t why I’m here. Take this please.” She pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Drim. “I would appreciate it if you would procure these for me on your trip. Nothing on there is completely essential, just something that would be nice and I’d like to have.”
“Oh, a list of souvenirs?” the leader speculated when he took the paper. “That’s unlike you and... The only thing on here is a bunch of various regions.”
“Yes, please obtain the blood of indigenous civilians from those regions if you can,” Ahvra requested with a straight face. She then lifted her arms and failed at making her eyes plead. “It would make me sooooooooo happy. Ideally, I would like their whole bodies, but I understand carrying corpses with you over such long distances would be smelly, and they likely wouldn’t keep, so just the blood will do. I know this is a selfish request, but it will also benefit your master plan too... for reasons I’ll explain after you get the blood. Personal reasons is only most of why I want it.”
The Witch left them all speechless as she returned back to her lair without clarifying anything. Nathym took a huge swig of his coffee then let out a loud sigh. “If you think that’s weird, try living with her. I’d say you get used to it, but I haven’t, even a little bit.” The machine next to The Engineer beeped and he stood up to tinker with it. After placing a tub beneath the machine’s hatch, he opened it and thousands of small discs poured into the container.
“Well, they’re finally done,” Nathym let out a sigh of relief. “I got tired of making them by hand, so I just made a machine to make them. It’s probably a waste of materials to make a machine with only one use, but maybe I can modify it for something else. Plus, if I stuck to making those all night, I wouldn’t have been able to make that other thing. I call them ‘Sings’ by the way. I’m not sure why, but the name just came to me when thinking of the blueprint.”
“Now I have to ask one last time before I do it. Are you sure this is what you want to use this technology for, Drim? The materials needed for the synchronization agent are crazy rare. It would take months, or maybe even years to get this much again. Once I sync them, they can’t be used for anything else. This plan of yours is a great one, but it’s a bit far-fetched since the origin came from an annoying encounter with a vending machine.”
“Yup, I’m committed,” the leader stated firmly. “I know the Central Peace has been in talks about something similar. But if we leave it to them, we could be waiting for decades. This will also serve as a foothold in the infrastructure we plan to build. Plus, that vending machine really pissed me off, and I need to see for myself if there’s any merit to what my mother said.”
“Welp, that’s all I need to hear,” Nathym shrugged. He picked up a remote and turned its dial, then pressed the large button in the center. All of the Sings lit up for a second and then faded back to normal. “It’s done, the signature is locked. They’ll only work on currency, so if you don’t put it near a lot of it, it’s just a waste. I’ve already explained to Drim how they work, so he can show you once you all get to a bank. Now then, the next piece.”
The Engineer walked over to a massive object covered in a tarp and grabbed the corners of the sheet. “I honestly didn’t need to hide it, but what can I say, I’m a stickler for big reveals.” He pulled the tarp off, showing off the vehicle underneath. It was a sleek and slightly futuristic-looking car. The chassis was also armored, similar to a tank, while still maintaining its mobility. It was painted silver, with blue trim and accents all along the frame.
“This is the all purpose vehicle Drim asked me to make, specifically detailed with Kada in mind,” Nathym presented it with a showy gesture. “It is all terrain, and will automatically adjust to its surroundings. Whether it’s sandy deserts or snowy mountains, it can cross them. This is its default setting, but it can change into various other styles: a convertible for leisure, or a bulkier tank for combat. It can also collapse into roughly the size of a briefcase for convenience, though it will be quite heavy.”
“It will also automatically turn into a boat when submerged in water, with further ability to become a submarine if desired. In the future, I can modify it to be a skycraft as well, but I didn’t have the parts or time… Actually, that’s a complete lie… I could have done it easily, but since Kada doesn’t know how to fly one, I figured I’d prevent the temptation. If she gets certified by Miss Mallea or someone else in the future, I’ll consider it.”
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
The silver in Kada’s eyes were shimmering splendidly. “Man, being forced to take driver’s ed and being the only one with a license has really paid off! You’re amazing Nathym, I’ll take good care of him.”
“Him? Aren’t most vehicles considered to be girls?” the car’s creator wondered.
“No, a car like this is so manly, and he needs a cool name!” Kada pondered for a moment. “I’ve got it, The Vagabond!”
“That’s way too long, none of us will say that each time, and the way it would be shortened is just, well…” Drim muttered.
“Besides, a name like that is too cool for you anyways,” Phon’s insult was teeming with snark. “You’re more suited to something like… the annoying tourist.”
“Well everyone, time to load up in The Tourist,” Xard suggested, forcing the naming matter to come to an end as he grabbed his bag.
“Wait, I’ve got something to take care of before we head out,” The Vixen interrupted their departure. She opened the box she had brought home with her, revealing several smaller color-coded boxes inside. The woman tossed the matching color to each person respectively. “New crime cards! Customized for each of you. I also had the designer give me the templates, so we can print out any more we need on our own. Ah, I got ones for you and Ahvra as well, though I doubt you’ll use them much,” she said to Nathym.
Phon explained a bit more as they each tore into their boxes. “You all probably aren’t aware of this, but Kada and Xard now have their own aliases on the popular forums. The designs for the cards are based on those. I won’t say what the stupid alliteration. If you want to know it, look it up yourself. I’ve included a booster pack of ‘breaking and entering’ and ‘grand larceny’ cards as well, since we’ll be using them a lot on our trip. Also, here’s what my card looks like since I know you’re curious.”
She held up one to show them. On the front was a crime, listed as usual, but on the back it said ‘The Vixen’ at the top with ‘Phon Drazah’ printed at the bottom. In the center was a picture of what appeared to be a zoomed in depiction of her wanted poster, but in a more abstract, noir style. She was also holding the mask she used to wear a few inches from her face.
Since Drim’s title was already known to be ‘The Slayer’, there was no speculation, but he showed off the design of his card as well. It was a pile of skulls from various sources: human, animal, and monster. Protruding from the very top skull was one of his black and green roses.
“Oh wow, I love it. They couldn’t have picked a better name for me!” Kada gushed. ‘The Mermaid’ was written at the top. Her picture was clearly inspired by one of the options she had tried for her wanted poster. It depicted her as a mermaid sitting on a rock at sea. On it, she was kissing a half melted skull.
“I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it’s not bad I suppose,” Xard accepted the new brand given to him: ‘The Artillery’. His picture was a pointing arm, seeming to command the several firing tank guns above it.
“No surprises here, but do I have to be the one to give this to Ahvra?” Nathym complained. “She’s going to be furious… I think… It’s really hard to tell with her.” The man had taken the liberty of opening hers as well and was holding up one of each. His ‘Engineer’ card was a complex design of circuitry and gears, while Ahvra’s ‘Widdle Witch’ card was a small girl wearing a witch costume. It looked like Phon had decided to include The Witch’s alliteration.
“Oh yeah, I’ve got a set here for you too burden- I mean dead weight- I mean Mallea.” The butler had been loading all of the Sings into a special container before she turned around, confused. “I looked it up, and you’ve been issued the same criminal act we all have for just being members of the Fiends For Hire. The clever people on the forums have also deciphered your identity and given you a nickname as well. So it just felt right. Welcome to the group, I suppose, and enjoy being a wanted criminal.”
Mallea caught the box tossed to her and her eyes went wide. “What’s this? A gift from Phon that wasn’t secretly meant to torment me?! Everyone, the apocalypse is nigh!” After belting out her crazing ramblings, she opened the box. “‘The Jackal’? I’m afraid I don’t get it.” Her card’s picture was a jackal standing on a desert plateau, howling at the night sky. Surrounding it in a clock-like circle, were several small symbols each depicting a trade or speciality. A few examples include an anvil, a chef’s hat, a dagger, a saw, and more of the like.
“Apparently it’s short for ‘jack-of-all’ as in jack-of-all-trades,” The Vixen explained, “Or it could be because you’re an annoying wild animal. I’ll leave it to your interpretation.”
Now that all business had been concluded, everyone took care of their final preparations. Phon wandered off to use the bathroom and to grab a few more snacks, Drim and Mallea began loading The Tourist with the Sings and everyone’s belongings, Kada explained in great detail what she wanted for her room to an exhausted Nathym, and Xard decided to look up the alliterations Phon had mentioned earlier. Apparently the nosy people on the internet seemed to know quite a bit about the inner workings of their lives, even nailing Mallea with hers. They were the ‘Melting Mermaid’, ‘Altruistic Artillery’, and ‘Jumbled Jackal’.
Drim was just about to slam down the vehicle’s trunk, having finally loaded everything, when Pox appeared at his feet. He was toting a plastic grocery bag filled with his ‘belongings’, though it appeared to just be a bag full of trash. The boy knelt down next to him and put his hand on the animal’s head. “I’m sorry buddy, but you’re not coming with us.”
Pox had an astonished look on his face, and then Mallea butted in. “Give it up Box, if I can’t go, you certainly can’t either.”
The creature's eyes began to well up, and for the first time that any of them had seen, he started to cry. His wails were heartbreaking, even Kada poked her head around after hearing them, starting to tear up herself. “I’m sorry Pox,” Drim apologized remorsefully, “But you wouldn’t be happy being cooped up in that car for so long. I also heard how you saved this place when we were gone before, so I’d feel a lot better knowing you’re around to take care of it. Can you do that for me?”
Pox wiped his tears and stared at his owner with new resolve. “Thanks!” Drim picked him up and gave him a hug. “I’ll miss you.” Pox hugged him back, and licked his face. The boy then handed him off to Mallea and requested, “Try not to let him get caught by Ahvra. I shudder to think what would happen if she got a hold of him. She’s a bit obsessed it seems.”
“No I’m not!” a yell came from the direction of the secret elevator as the tool rack slammed back into place, the prying eye vanishing as well.
Once everyone was finally ready to go, Drim addressed Nathym and Mallea. “I know you guys will work hard, so I’m not worried at all, but I still have to ask you to be safe—wouldn’t put it past the CP to try something, especially once they wise up to what we’re doing. We’ll be back in a month. There’s actually no real time limit for this, but I feel if we don’t set one, we’ll be gone forever.” The two waved them off as The Tourist embarked from the compound for the first time.
◆◆◆
The Fiends’ first stop on this long journey was the Bisomote bank. It was a good starting point because there was only a single bank in the entire town. The bank itself was also pretty low-tech, not even a single camera located in the vault. Though the security didn’t really matter since Phon had already teleported them inside
Drim took out a Sing from his pocket and placed it on one of the walls of the vault. He pressed on the center, then the device lit up before turning entirely invisible. “Super easy, right?” he asked rhetorically. “The Sing will take care of itself if it’s found out and will move on its own if someone comes near it. I doubt it will ever be an issue since it’s not detectable by anything we know of, except for maybe Phon’s Curse. I also had Mallea develop a quick app for us. It shows all the banks in the world, and whether or not a Sing is active in each of them.”
“And don’t forget to drop your crime cards on the floor before you leave,” The Vixen reminded them. “If we don't do that, these people will never know they’ve been robbed, or rather ‘pre-robbed’. I know it sounds counterproductive, but we definitely want them to know we were here. The final stage of this will be a lot harder otherwise.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Xard agreed. “If we can’t get them to believe and accept it, the transition may not go smoothly, and we may inadvertently cause the collapse of the economy.”
“So what if we do get caught in the act? I assume you don’t want us fighting a bunch of security guards,” Kada asked for clarification.
“If it can be avoided, yeah,” the leader followed up. “They’re just innocent people doing their jobs, so try to rope as few civilians into our scheme as possible. The less injuries, the better. It’s fine if you provoke them for more buzz, we do want as much attention as we can muster like Phon said. You could also do something like waving at the camera or graffiti if you’re feeling up to it. Try to spend as little time in each bank as you can, though. Remember, we’ve got a ton of these to get through.”
“Just how many banks are we talking about here, exactly?” Xard questioned.
“A few thousand,” Drim gave a rough estimate. “The less densely populated areas, especially the eastern hemisphere, have a lot less. That’s why we’re going to start there. While we do want buzz, we don’t want people chasing us our whole trip. We’ll start by heading to the northeast corner, work our way south, then make a giant loop back to here. I’ll warn you, there are quite a few places that are much less developed than what you guys are used to, even some without electricity, and some even still have caste systems. Try to avoid culture shock the best you can.”
“Man, this is gonna be a long month,” Kada groaned but then immediately perked up, cheering at her friends. “It’s a good thing we all love each other enough to get along! Right guys?!” Everyone stared at her blankly, and Phon teleported them back to The Tourist without a word.
As they drove out of the town, the co-leader made a new post on the Fiends For Hire website. 『Have you wanted us to do a job for you but don’t live close by? Good news! We’re going on a world tour. Post your job regardless of where you live, and who knows, we may just take it! You’ll be able to track our location soon and predict where we’re heading, just keep an eye on the news.』
Discord, , and Amazon Release (Pending), can be found on the Fiends For Hire .
Which game piece would you pick?
