vharlan03:
hey guys
quick question
Lee:
Did the Jenglot get out of its cage?
vharlan03:
no that’s still locked up
apocalypse averted and all that
i just had a question about the app
Lee:
What app?
vharlan03:
the one we’re on right now
HARL33:
lmaoooooooo
Lee:
Right.
Shoot.
vharlan03:
well, i tried to send a screenshot of a chat to an old friend of mine from high school
but instead of the chatlog
he got a baklava recipe
HARL33:
oh lucky him
could’ve been way worse.
vharlan03:
way worse how?
HARL33:
vell did u even read the user guide?
vharlan03:
what user guide?
Lee:
It’s a little question mark icon in the top right.
vharlan03:
I don’t see it
HARL33:
hmm
did u ever find that student handbook btw
vharlan03:
no
HARL33:
okay
u r possibly being haunted by a ghost who hates instruction manuals
but we’ll deal with that later
vharlan03:
cant we deal with it now?
HARL33:
no
lee explain the app thingy to him
Lee:
Very well.
As you are no doubt aware, Vell, the vast majority of commonly used chat apps are run -and monitored- by large corporations.
This created a rather unfortunate situation in which those companies would subtly rewrite their terms of service to allow them to use ideas which were discussed in their apps.
And then they would monitor the chats of Einstein-Odinson students, stealing any profitable ideas from conversations among classmates.
vharlan03:
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
sounds about right
HARL33:
yet another reason every mfer in silicon valley can catch these hands
Lee:
Quite.
But the problem was addressed when a student programmed their own chat app and distributed it to the students of the college.
The code is collectively run and updated by students in the programming department, so there’s no evil corporate overlords involved.
vharlan03:
neat
but what part of that explains why a chatlog turned into a dessert recipe
Lee:
We’re getting there.
In order to prevent other instances of chatlog hacking or any sort of internal espionage, the chat app has its own security features.
Namely, trying to send (or take) any info from the chat app causes the file in question to be replaced with a junk file from a folder of random data.
HARL33:
anybody in school can send something to the junk folder
so as u can imagine
it is often literally a junk folder
lotta penises in there
vharlan03:
oh geez
Lee:
Quite so.
Oh!
Vell, you should add something to the junk file!
It’s something of a rite of passage around here.
HARL33:
just PLZ dont add a picture of ur dick.
and like
thats me saying that
vharlan03:
weirdly enough i wasnt planning on taking a pic of my junk
HARL33:
good
im sure u have a very nice penis but plz keep it to urself until the time is right
Lee:
I am begging you to stop talking about penises.
HARL33:
okay lesbian
vell
what ARE u gonna add tho
vharlan03:
idk ill think about it
HARL33:
would it help if we explained what we added first
vharlan03:
it usually does
Lee:
Learning from example is one of the best ways, after all.
I simply submitted the text of my favorite poem.
“Learning the Name” by Ursula K Le Guin.
HARL33:
now see this is why i don’t like doing the comparison thing sometimes
cuz you go and talk about your poetry
all fancy and refined
and then i gotta tell vell that i put in a picture of my dog’s butt
and i feel silly
Lee:
The world needs sophisticated art and crude comedy in equal measure.
Besides, your dog is a corgi.
Everyone loves corgi butts.
vharlan03:
you’ve had a corgi this whole time!?
HARL33:
hold ur horses vell its my fams dog
hes not on campus
vharlan03:
aww
HARL33:
ill send you some pics
but for now
what you gonna add to the junk folder
vharlan03:
idk
i think my mom still has some of my like, fingerpainting stuff from grade school?
maybe something like that
HARL33:
aww that sounds cute!
ill trade you corgi pics for pics of your fingerpainting
vharlan03:
deal
Lee:
I have neither corgi’s nor art to trade but I would like to see both of those, please.
HARL33:
of course!!!!
anyway now i gotta text my parents for corgi pics
ttyl
Lee:
Tell your mother I said hello.
HARL33:
will do!!!!!!!!
do u wanna say hi to my mom too vell
vharlan03:
does your mom even know who i am?
HARL33:
ofc! i tell my parents all about you guys
do you not tell ur mom about us?
vharlan03:
sometimes
im still figuring out how to separate the whole time loop apocalypse stuff from our like, daily hang out stuff
HARL33:
lmao right
ull get there
Lee:
for reference, I have told my parents nothing about you, Vell.
vharlan03:
that’s probably for the best.
Lee:
Unfortunately.
