Chapter 125 – Domestic Issues

  “No, not two and a quarter outside, two and a quarter inside. Fucking ID and OD bullshit… pick one.” – Kurt to himself on his third trip to the hardware store.

  Over the years, Kurt had come to learn that there was a hidden counter on every project around the house. It was an insidious little thing, made only to absorb the most valuable of resources. This counter was naturally how many trips to the hardware store he would have to make before finishing the job.

  “Fourth fucking time is the charm I guess.” Kurt muttered as he trooped back into the kitchen of the coffee shop. He stomped his feet after entering, clearing the snow and slush that had stuck to his boots before walking further into the room.

  After checking that nobody else was going to need the room for a while, Kurt summoned his supplies from his ring. Several sections of pipe, a few couplings and caps for a clean-out were all neatly stacked along the wall where there was once a sink.

  Two days ago, when this project started, Kurt was there to unclog a drain in kitchen sink of the coffee shop. That had been a theoretically simple matter, one that shouldn’t take long at all. He only had to pop off the trap and run a snake down to help clear whatever was causing the blockage.

  Well, when he had tried to remove the first collar above the trap, it had been seized up and instead snapped off near the base of the sink. Not too much of a problem, all he needed was a new coupling and… the entire drain had broken away from the bottom of the enameled steel sink.

  While he was frustrated at the situation, he figured it was about time to upgrade the sink basin anyway. So, after taking a few measurements, and getting some input from Kate and Jamie, he hopped in his car to get a new one from the store.

  Once there and in the aisles, he realized that he wasn’t sure about the faucet so made a return trip to check and decided to upgrade them to a hanging spray nozzle that would be better for washing. Then back to the store for the second time to pick out the sink and faucet.

  After getting back and taking out the old sink, he discovered that there weren’t any shut-off valves in the water lines to the sink. Upon further inspection, the original plumbing was a complete mess and missing some bits that were now part of building code. That led to the third trip where Kurt had to swing by the house to get his tools for cutting and fitting the pipe he was going to use.

  After getting his tools and shutting off the water so he could install the new pipe and valves, he was finally able to start working. At first everything went smooth, almost like it was baiting him in by being cooperative. The sink fit perfectly in the opening in the counter, the spray nozzle easily cleared the shelves above and he even got all his measurements right the first time. No, the problem came when he moved to the drain itself.

  Kurt was by no means heavy handed when it came to doing things. He was usually cautious and very meticulous in how he approached a problem. That is why when he ran the semi-flexible drain snake down the pipe, he was surprised when it suddenly stopped.

  Naturally, he didn’t force the issue and backed the snake out a little before trying again. The second attempt ended in the same way, a snake that only went a few inches past where he could see with a flashlight.

  Growing frustrated after the several trips to the store, Kurt tried a little alternate plumbing and cast a cleaning spell, hoping to catch the blockage that way. He was actually rather proud of himself with that idea and was just about to pat himself on the back as the snake advanced further than it previously had.

  Before he could issue himself a crisp high-five, he felt a troubling sensation. Kurt wasn’t an expert plumber but he knew that there wasn’t supposed to be a crunching sensation followed by the sound of metal bouncing around down a pipe. Taking a break for some very choice words and cursing the name of whoever installed it, Kurt began to try and think through the problem.

  Looking at the wall, Kurt did a little mental geometry and found out what was on the back side of it. He followed the wall around to the little hallway that had three doors, two bathrooms and the door to the stairs. He opened the door and followed the hall until he found the back stairs. The steps descended down to another hall under the neighboring unit but also had several pipes in the wall, one of which had the business end of a drain snake sticking through the rusted-out elbow.

  It was in this stairwell that Kurt found himself, perched halfway up the wall on a small scaffold he set up with ladders and two-by-fours. He was busy with a Sawzall and a chisel, breaking out the remains of rusted pipe before fitting the new PVC replacements. He also had the foresight to put in a cleanout to help with future clogs.

  Despite the headache that came from the project becoming overly involved, Kurt felt a little happiness as he surveyed his handiwork. He always liked completing a project and being able to look at it from afar, taking satisfaction in a job well done.

  Humming a little tune, Kurt cleaned up his poorly constructed scaffolding and policed the bits of pipe that had been dropped unceremoniously to the stairs below. Once he had thrown everything in the dumpster, he went to finish hooking up the rest of the drain and putting the water supply fittings in place.

  “Oh, hey.” Jamie said when Kurt came back through the door. He had been wiping down a prep table and seemed startled by the sudden entrance.

  “Hey Jamie.” Kurt waved. “What’s happenin?”

  “Umm, nothing. Just…ah cleaning up.”

  Kurt barely registered the response, caught up in finishing his project. “Good, good.” He replied automatically while walking over to the new sink. Thankfully, everything was where he left it, and he only had to get his tools out to install the new water line fittings before reattaching the drain trap.

  Jamie, still in the kitchen, seemed like he couldn’t stand the silence. “So uhh, where did you learn to do this?”

  “Well, I mostly picked it up through books and YouTube- shit.” Kurt had dropped his screw driver and the bit had popped out. He thankfully was able to find it in the under-sink cabinet. “There you are. Anyway, then I did the bathrooms when I built my house. Did all the plumbing actually, other than drilling the well.”

  “Oh, right. I forgot you built the house.” Jamie then went silent for a moment as Kurt continued pressing the fittings together. After a few awkward moments, in which Jamie completely forgot he was supposed to be cleaning, he asked another question. “So, umm… you and Val and Kristi are all…”

  Kurt was only half paying attention as the young man trailed off, not finishing his question. He paused after realizing that Jamie had gone silent. Getting a sense that something was up, Kurt slid out from under the sink and looked at Jamie as he fidgeted.

  “Alright, look, you clearly have something you want to get off your chest.” Kurt began, wiping his hands on a rag that was hanging over the edge of the countertop. “How about you just spill it while I promise to hear you out?”

  “I-I umm…” Jamie started hesitantly before shutting his mouth with a click of teeth as he looked off toward nothing in particular. “Do your girlfriends… umm do they always… Fuck, how do I ask this without being a dick.”

  “Just spit it out.” Kurt sighed as he repeated himself.

  Nodding, Jamie took a deep breath before the words began to spill out in a rush. “Do they always stay human? I mean around the house. Not that I think they are human… but that isn’t a bad thing! It’s just I don’t know how I feel about living with someone that isn’t human and I know she isn’t but she only ever stays looking the one way and I don’t know how to ask about it like is it insensitive or am I doing something wrong what if I…”

  Kurt just let the kid rant for a few minutes as he paced in a circle around the table he had been pretending to clean. He often restated himself but otherwise seemed to completely forget that he was supposed to be explaining something to Kurt.

  “… I thought about asking Kate, but I don’t think asking my sister about my love life is a great idea.”

  “Jamie!” Kurt suddenly interrupted in a slightly raised voice. “Deep breath bud. I need you to actually ask a question or something here.”

  “Right.” Jamie seemed to finally catch himself and organize his thoughts. “Where was I?”

  Trying not to laugh, Kurt replied in a gentle voice like he was trying not so spook a bunny. “You were talking about someone not showing their para side.” He said in a soft but leading tone, rolling his hand over his wrist in the universal gesture to continue.

  “Ah. Ssssoo, um. Penny hasn’t showed me her non-human form. I don’t know if I should ask and I don’t know if I can handle it if she does show me.”

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  Kurt clicked his tongue. “Is there a question in there?”

  Jamie flushed and huffed a breath out of his nose. “How do I talk to Penny about her not showing her para side to me and my fear of what I will think when she does?”

  This really wasn’t Kurt’s specialty, and he was really wishing he had Val with him. His natural inclination was to just be blunt or ignore it. So, he considered very carefully how to respond. “Do you know what Penny is?”

  “No.”

  “Ok, not what I was expecting you to say.” Kurt admitted as he scratched at the back of his head. “So, the next question is naturally why do you want to know or why do you care?”

  That seemed to put Jamie back a few paces as he stopped and considered for a moment before answering. “I think it matters because I know she isn’t human. Wait! I didn’t mean it like that!” he quickly said as Kurt gave him a rather annoyed look.

  “Then how did you mean it?”

  “I really like Penny, and I think she really likes me.” Jamie said, speaking slowly and annunciating. “I also want a future with someone, and I think it could be her, but I feel like there is a lot I don’t know. I’m not saying that she can’t have secrets, but I feel like this is something fundamental to her and that we need to address it.”

  “Theres your answer.” Kurt said with a snort of amusement. “Why don’t you try telling her that. Go ahead and write it down now. Go on, get out a pen and paper and write it down.”

  Jamie quickly began scribbling on one of his slips on his order pad. After a few moments of writing, he looked up again. “Right, high points are I really like her. I think we could have a future together. I would like to fully know what she is so I can get my feelings in order sooner than later.”

  “There you go. Also, if you need some back up or get yourself in trouble, call the girls.” Kurt said and slid back under the sink.

  “Not you?” Jamie seemed surprised at Kurt pawning off responsibility.

  “Nope.”

  “Why?”

  “Do I really seem like the guy that gives good relationship advice?” Kurt chuckled at the ridiculousness of that statement.

  “Well, you do have two girlfriends…”

  “Jamie.”

  “Yes?”

  “Quit while you’re ahead.”

  Kurt thought he heard the kid swallow hard as he stammered. “R-right g-got it.” He began to walk away before stopping. “Do you know what Penny is?”

  “Yup.”

  A moment’s pause before Jamie spoke again. “Can you tell me?”

  Sliding out from under the sink a little way, Kurt looked at the young man. “I could but I won’t. It isn’t my business, and I don’t like to out people. Good night, Jamie.”

  “R-right. Good night.” Jamie quickly said and quickly left the room.

  Kurt watched him go for a moment before sliding back under the sink to finish hooking it up. “Good fucking luck, dude.”

  *****

  Well after dinner time, Kurt trudged back into the house. His quick fix at the coffee shop had been quickly turned into a nearly two-day project as he worked around the store’s hours. He was tired, mildly irritated, but most of all he was satisfied with a job well done. All that was despite the fact he found a few other things he would have to go fix sooner than later.

  He opened the door to the smell of something spicy having been cooked and both the girls sitting at the kitchen counter with empty plates and full drinks before them.

  “Oh, hey babe! Everything fixed?” Val called as she saw him enter the room.

  “Babe? Haha, yeah everything is how it should be according to building code.” Kurt laughed at her using a nickname. It was very unlike her but perhaps that was one of the things that was slowly changing.

  “I made dinner.” Kristi said while getting up and moving to the stove where she uncovered a still steaming pan. “It’s just a chicken curry but I think it turned out pretty good.” She scooped out some rice into a bowl before topping it with the curry.

  “Thanks.” Kurt said as he sat down and both the bowl and a glass of water appeared in front of him. “What did you guys get up to?”

  “Just some banking.” Val answered from his right. “I talked to Brad over at the bank and got set up with some investment accounts for us.”

  “Well, that’s nice. I assume he got you all squared away?” Kurt mumbled around a mouthful of the deliciously spicy curry.

  “Yup, I invested more of mine than you did since I don’t have a lot of overhead that I need cash for.” Val had a slight quirk in her lips that Kurt noticed. It usually signaled that she was telling him something in a subtle way but, for the life of him, he couldn’t tell what. The feedback he was getting from her necklace also wasn’t helpful as it just gave the general feeling of happiness.

  “Then we stopped and talked with Frank. He had some games that I was after, and we chatted for a bit before coming home.” Kristi finished recounting their day. “How did the repair go? I assume not well since it took so long.”

  Kurt sighed and began telling them about his multiple trips to the store and fixing the problem. Kristi seemed interested in the details and the actual work but didn’t interrupt. Val on the other hand just smiled and nodded. She seemed to know the basics of what he was doing but wasn’t interested in the process.

  “After I got the drain fixed is when things finally got back on track.” Kurt recounted. “I did get a little distracted by Jamie though.”

  “How’s that?” Val perked up, her fox ears somehow standing straighter and her tails stilling from their lazy swishing.

  “He wanted some advice.” Kurt wasn’t trying to be vague, but he also didn’t want to talk about other people’s business.

  “What kind of advice?” Pressed Val.

  Kurt should have known better than to try and withhold juicy details from the ever-inquisitive vixen. “Relationship ad-.” He stopped as Val suddenly seized his shoulders and turned him to face her.

  “WHAT?” Her eyes were wide and locked onto him as she gripped his arms.

  “Jesus, calm down.” Kurt tried to brush her hands off from where her nails were digging in. “He just wanted my opinion but all I did was listen to him ramble then helped him organize his thoughts.”

  Kristi’s head suddenly appeared over his shoulder and her hands gripped Val’s, prying them off as she spoke calmly. “Val, sweetheart, maybe let him tell you about it before you try and shake the answer out of him.”

  Having been released, Kurt began to recount the details of his conversation with Jamie. This time it was Val pressing him for details while Kristi just listened. Thankfully he was able to recall nearly every detail of the conversation thanks in large part to his elven mental capacity.

  He did have to stop on a few occasions when Val asked some rather esoteric questions. He wasn’t sure how to answer the ‘feeling of the questions’ or what the ‘mood of the sentence’ was but he tried his best. Eventually he was able to finish and get to the point where he told Jamie to make himself scarce.

  “So, you told him to just go talk to her?” Val clarified.

  “Yyyeeeess, I believe so.”

  “And he left?”

  “Mhm, yup. I think he did.”

  Val frowned. “And how long ago was this?”

  “Ah, probably a couple hours now.” Kurt didn’t know the exact time but it had been a while.

  Val glanced at her phone, tapping the screen to see if she had and missed messages. Seeing nothing, she shrugged. “I guess it’s going ok.”

  Kristi did the same, checking her messages before putting it away. “Strange that he asked you about it. I don’t think of you when I look for advice on relationship stuff. I mean, we barely talk about it as it is.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Kurt asked. He was secretly hoping that she would say yes. They had all been in a relationship for a while now and he was hoping that they were happy and would bring up any issues when needed.

  Biting her lip a moment, Kristi nodded. “Actually yes, I think I do. Val?”

  “I think so.” She responded and walked over to the couch, prompting the others to follow.

  After they had all sat down and snuggled in, Val got them started. “I can assume we are all incredibly in love with each other?” Seeing them nod, she continued. “Then let’s talk about where we want this to go. Just get it out there. What do you want out of the next few years or more?”

  Kurt went first as both of them looked at him, likely because he was in the middle. “I think I want it all. I want us to be together until death do us part, as it were.”

  “Marriage?” Val asked like she already knew the answer.

  “Kurt and I are already married. At least we are in the traditions of my people.” Kristi said. When they both looked at her in surprise, she elaborated a little. “We have bonded. By that I mean we have entered a relationship in which we express our love for each other and accept one another without exception.”

  Amazed at how simple a tradition it was, Kurt had to ask. “That’s it? No ceremony or blessing and all that?”

  Kristi shook her head quickly, her silver braid whipping behind her. “No. We would tell our family of our decision but other than spreading the word, there is nothing else. How we give our love is a very personal thing and not something that we put stipulations on other than our own. Do you do it differently?”

  Kurt, shaking off the fact that he was essentially married and had to break that to his parents, stammered a little before clearing his throat and replying. “Ahem, no, not quite. In this world there is usually a ceremony with a priest or similar person, and we share vows before our friends and family. Sometimes there are traditions to get the parents blessing before asking someone’s hand in marriage.”

  Val snorted. “Hmph. Good luck with that.”

  “Why?” Kurt turned to her, searching her face after feeling the… regret? Yes, regret, through the necklace.

  “In both my parents’ culture, children are more of a commodity. A dark elf or kitsune having a say in who they marry is rare. Though that marriage might turn into a loving relationship, it’s not a requirement for them.”

  “I thought you said your aunt had a harem? How does that work without love?” Kurt asked, stunned at the feeling Val was radiating.

  “Its because she had the political capital to do that. She is a rare case where she has a lot of power in her early life. My mother and father are… um, traditional in their viewpoint. It’s part of why I joined the Order. Well, that and I wanted something more than the cold and hateful treatment from the rest of my family.”

  “Don’t they love you?” Kristi asked, seemingly shocked by the revelation. She knew Val was rather distant from her parents but wasn’t aware of the reason.

  “Of course they do.” Val nodded with a smile. “But it doesn’t change millennia of culture and tradition.”

  “So, I need to get them to agree to us being together?” Kurt asked. He wished he had known earlier but at the same time knew it wouldn’t change his feelings.

  Ears flicking, Val responded with irritation in her voice. “I mean, you can. I don’t expect it, and I don’t care. I am with the two of you and that’s that.”

  Kurt smiled. “Good, but if it comes to it, I will talk to them. Besides, it would be strange if our kids didn’t know their grandparents, I think.”

  “Kids?” Val asked, surprise in her voice. Kristi also seemed to perk up at the comment, leaning in even more.

  “Well yeah.” Kurt said as if it was obvious. “I love you both and I really want to have children with both of you. As long as you want to that is.” He looked at Kristi as he said this, seeing her eyes begin to water a little. “And they will be ours, all of ours. The specifics don’t matter as long as we are together.”

  Kristi nodded at his words, sensing the resolve in his tone. He leaned in, wrapping her in a hug a moment later and murmuring into her ear. “And I won’t stop trying to find a way for you to have them too.”

  “I want that too.”

  He felt so many emotions coming from the necklace as Kristi nearly crushed him in the hug, even wrapping her tail around his leg while Val piled in from behind. She had heard the comment and naturally agreed, even having a little more insight into the subject than either of the others.

  After a few moments, Val pulled back. “Come on, let’s call it a night.” She said, standing and holding out a hand to both of them.

  “I don’t know.” Kurt said, getting a confused look from the kitsune. “I was told that I would be laying some pipe down when I was done with the coffee shop…” He grinned and watched as Kristi flushed while Val just smiled back even more. Soon they were all making for the bedroom, feeling more in tune after the conversation they had been putting off for so long.