The goddess Nerffe looked over Creation and WAS NOT PLEASED.

  Least beloved and most feared among those blessed with the knowledge of her existence, hers was the role of Adjudicator, She Who Balances The Scales.

  The weave of Creation approached perfection, yet gaps existed, holes the lucky or clever attempted to squeeze through from time to time. Her task was to handle those who exploited oversights. She gently smacked the innocent offenders on their bottoms while coming down hard upon the malicious ones with her vorpal club, else those who flew too high, too fast, would inevitably crash and burn, taking all of fragile Creation with them, forcing Creation to begin anew.

  The Balance she so carefully maintained had been set awry once more, a wobble in the weft, a fly in her soup, a pea under her mattress, a child Outsider claiming power unearned, power somehow given within the agreed upon Framework thanks to his Outsider technology and ideas, building power enough to someday challenge even the most minor of gods.

  This WOULD NOT STAND.

  The Outsider didn't belong, yet its entrance to Creation had been perfectly Balanced, following ancient rules she helped set for a game played among her lesser peers in an age long past. Should she— Hmm. The game was still afoot, it seemed.

  What went wrong?

  Ah.

  Wonderful.

  How lovely.

  She TOLD the Others these Bonds were too much trouble. Humanity failing against the monsters, near to dying out and taking half the unimportant gods with them, didn't seem like an acceptable reason to intervene, to her. Humans defied Balance far too often for her tastes. The monsters would develop their own gods, given enough time. Life would find a way, for those strong enough to deserve it.

  But she had lost that vote. Which was fine.

  Now she spent all her time cleaning up the others' mess and restoring Balance. Which was fine.

  Perfectly FINE.

  The Outsider managed two—TWO!—mechanisms by which to gain unearned Skills, one entirely unchecked, without limit. That had to go. As for the other method, how lovely. It came balanced, doubtless why the Outsider abused the unchecked method.

  And all these other Skills? No. NO. NO! They all had to go. All but one, it was part of the others' game. Anything else unearned, it could pay the proper price to gain again.

  She sighed and spun off a fragment of herself to approve its future skill gains.

  That had better be the end of it. If the Outsider drew her attention a second time, she would make certain there could be no chance for a third.

  Ah, the game seemed likely to come to a swift conclusion. That was for the best.

  Lifting her dreaded club, the vorpal Unmaker, she carefully took aim and swung across the fabric of Creation.

  Silas almost blinked the unexpected window away without reading it. He'd just sold the guard a stack of anchovy pizzas, after extracting a second promise that the guy would talk to his boss about the impending dungeon escape and communicate Silas's request to speak with someone more important today, though the guard carefully hadn't made any promises as to whether anyone higher up the food chain would deign to respond with any sense of immediacy, or ever.

  After reading the message he wanted to feel anger and rage, but… Yeah. He got it. Not like this was the first time he had a character build nerfed into oblivion. He learned to accept that devs constantly made games, recently released games in particular, less fun for "balance" reasons a long time ago. Just, this time his life was on the line.

  He couldn't even argue. Once he picked up Natural Fighting everything sort of spiraled out of control. The skill somehow removed his agency and sort of went to town picking up more and more skills. Abusing an exploit like that is how you get nerfed, you muscle-brained skill!

  Good thing he was already sitting down, as a rush of weakness flooded through his body.

  Before he could pull up his Status to assess the damage, a new window popped up.

  Whatever. He didn't like that nasty skill anyway. Besides, he already assumed it lost.

  He made a minor change via Interface then pulled up his status to assess the damage.

  At least he still had his laptop.

  Losing Mana Magnet hurt. He should grab it again ASAP, assuming the admin would allow it.

  As for the rest… Inventory and Universal Translator would be nice. This place has magic, though. They probably have bags of holding, spatial rings, and translation magics. Seems a waste to use his limited skills on something a magic item could cover.

  There was an idea.

  Create Magic Item?

  He focused on his SP and asked to buy the skill, just to see if the admin would allow it.

  Hmm. Two points put it on the same level of power as Pestilence, else the increased cost was just another nerf. Also, they added in a word. Utility. Meaning, not for combat. Why did he see that as a challenge?

  Maybe he should check out the help page before buying a skill for once.

  How about not?

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  Would they even let him get Mana Magnet back?

  Again with the two SP, the jerks. It was a fairly OP skill though. Without it he couldn't keep his laptop summoned.

  He bought Mana Magnet and felt the mana around him begin to stir.

  He had to acknowledge the effectiveness of magic versus hitting stuff with his fists. He didn't want to be anywhere close to the fighting. Heck, he didn't want to be fighting, period. He just wanted to be left alone to play games.

  Could he just summon up something and channel mana into it? Be like Tatsu and wave at it indifferently, while saying, 'Go. Play.' Something suited to the situation. He could—

  Actually. He was on the edge of an idea.

  Versatility. Summon. Play. Channel mana. His Laptop Bond.

  Hmm.

  Gaming Necessities' power came from his Bond. Probably. It certainly allowed for a wide range of uses, even after the nerf.

  His Bond came from wanting his laptop, wanting everything on his laptop, what everything on it represented.

  What he needed was a skill that let him use what his laptop represented. A skill that let him have fun and play while someone else did the hard work. A skill that kept him safe. A skill that let him do what he loved doing. A skill that let him play with his favorite characters of all time. A skill limited by his mana expenditure, for Balance reasons.

  He needed…

  Three?! That was half of what he had left!

  Thinking over the price of his purchased skills, his stomach sank. He didn't dare voice his concerns, even in his own head. Maybe he was wrong? Maybe he just had to pay more for powerful skills now. That would be fair and balanced.

  Better look under the hood before this purchase, in any case.

  Governing Attribute?

  Silas scowled at the windows, then looked up at the ceiling of his cell. "Really?" he asked the invisible admin.

  He couldn't even argue with the logic. Might ordering a minion around improve his Charisma? One can hope.

  He accepted the skill.

  Next, between Obscurity and Rapid Regeneration he'd take both to ensure his personal safety.

  Obscurity came first, though. It came with mental protections, and the idea of someone messing with his mind really freaked him out. Meanwhile, he had any number of characters to call upon for some healing.

  Truly, the terror of Fibonacci was nigh.

  He ran a hand through his hair and considered who he could summon to help him chat with the locals. He knew who he wanted, but for that he might need to level the skill up a bit.

  Who should he summon to help improve his Charisma?

  Hmm.

  A possible squeak in the distance reminded him of his upcoming appointment with the local rats. With his inventory lost, he had some cheese to summon.

  Ah, but it wouldn't hurt to have a translator in case the rats wanted to talk.

  He had a level two druid from a 5e oneshot they had limited to stuff from the SRD just for fun. Hopefully he could sustain that with his mana.

  He focused on the spell and the character.

  A column of mist formed and faded away, leaving behind a scruffy dwarf wearing leather armor and carrying a battleaxe.

  Silas had a whole backstory for the guy, how he ran away from home and was raised by wolves. So, of course he named him… "Woof."

  The dwarf looking around the cell nodded at Silas. "Sir. Orders?"

  "I need you to act as a translator between me and some rats. They might be confused because I could talk to them before. It's a whole story."

  Before he could continue, Woof interjected. "Er, I need a long rest before I can add Speak with Animals to my spell list, sir."

  "Of course you do. And that will take…"

  "Eight hours, sir."

  Silas sighed. "Next time, then. Can you go ahead and prepare it? And, uh, your healing spell."

  The dwarf shrugged. "Dunno."

  "If you can, then." Silas checked his Status then dismissed the dwarf.

  The level two druid being out had consumed four of his twenty mana. His regen would improve, but… yikes.

  He wanted a 5e couatl, it was only challenge rating 4, meaning a challenge for a party of four level four characters. Those could speak any language and had telepathy. Yet, there was no way he could keep one of those guys out yet. Those flying snakes were kind of strong. He'd need better numbers all around before that could happen.

  Which left with countless options, he was sure, yet all he could think of was a 5e pseudodragon, it being challenge rating 1/4, meaning somewhat weak, yet it had a rather limited form of telepathy in which it could project simple concepts and images. He could work with that.

  He hadn't made a character with one as a familiar before, but he had more than one ebook detailing the creatures on his hard drive.

  With a mental push, a tiny brown dragon emerged from a puff of smoke, looking around with interest. It sent him a sense of joy and a question. Orders?

  "I dub thee…Vox, because for now I need you to be my voice, as I speak neither rat nor the local lingo. Don't eat the rats when they show up, Vox. I'm selling them cheese. Want some beef jerky?"

  Vox did.

  As Silas conjured food, he decided he was happy. The nerf hurt, but it got him thinking straight again, too. He'd help with the dungeon, but he'd make sure to have an escape route as well. If the local government wasn't taking care of the dungeon and ignored his warnings… Well, he'd help where he could. Maybe he could find a character to deal with the dungeon, but he'd also be trying to figure out who could evacuate as many people as possible, soon as he secured a way to get himself to safety. Various characters came to mind, but he'd need to find an "affordable" option.

  As for evacuations, he could think of more than a couple game characters who could open stable portals back to set locations. Something like that might work, if he could get far enough away himself, if he could sustain the magic long enough.

  He would need to do some research.

  Instinctive Reflexes, sort of took control of his decisions. They were the ones needing all those skils in chapter five, but that wasn't super clear, and after I posted the chapter I started to really regret the entire concept.

  needs skills." And we all know what happened then, lol.

  5e - Fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons, released in 2014 and the current latest edition.

  oneshot - a short game of Dungeons and Dragons, usually intended to be played in just a few sessions, as opposed to a longer campaign that can go on for months or years depending on the group.

  SRD - System Resource Document, a way for certain D&D content to be free for others to use under their OGL, Open Gaming License, thus allowing me to refer to certain creatures and spells here without fear of copyright lawyers coming down on me, as long as I include a copy of the OGL in anything I publish, I do believe.

  couatl - a big flying snake of lawful goodness with several OP non-combat abilities. Telepathy, knows all languages, can shapeshift into any humanoid or beast of its challenge rating or lower, plus a handful of healing and other utility spells per day.

  pseudodragon - a tiny dragon