"I'm getting sick of your pathetic tries at humor, Mr. Lulu," Beelzebub said after looking stunned for a minute or two. Lulu was proud of himself for getting on his nerves, but the situation didn’t add up in his mind.

  "You know, Mr. Bird Lice, if you have this much money and this exquisite technology, why in Yatu’s different layers of purple microcosm do you need me? This starts to sound like either a sacrifice or some weird fetish thing. My mama warned me about corporate filth like that," Lulu noted wisely.

  "That’s actually an excellent question, Mr. Lulu. But I think you should meet someone first, and hopefully, you will have your answers," Beelzebub replied.

  The double doors behind Lulu opened with great timing, and within stood an old man—or what Lulu assumed was, some time long ago, a man. The old man was wearing a red vestment, and in his hands was a rusted metallic staff.

  Lulu gasped. "A priest!!! Oh nooo. This is definitely a fetish thing. I’m not ready for this extreme experience. I’m a virgin." Lulu stopped in his tracks. "Oh nooo. I made a mistake and made myself only more palatable for this damn predator." Lulu fell to his knees, fake sobbing quietly.

  Beelzebub was flabbergasted, his hand stuck in front of his mouth in shock.

  The old man burst into laughter. "I like this one. My name is Druj. I’m a scientist, not a priest. So I’m not only safe in that part—I’m a virgin too," Druj said between laughing himself to coughs.

  Lulu smiled ear to ear and said, "You’re a fun old man. This cockroach here is mentally blinded to anything fun-related. Plus, he kidnapped me."

  Druj looked puzzled, and his face wrinkled more than it was before. "Mr. Beelzebub, you assured me you’d find me someone WILLING to participate in my project. Should I remind you about ethics and how important it is to me as a researcher?"

  "He is a criminal, Mr. Druj. Criminals are willing to do everything their government says. That’s just how law works, and this little pup is deep in debt to the government, so there cannot be any sort of resistance or rejection," Beelzebub said, funnily enough, with a little bit of guilt.

  (*The roach was capable of understanding his faults—to a degree. Who would have guessed?*)

  "But that’s not how ethical research works, Mr. Beelzebub. You cannot get pseudo-consent from someone who isn’t capable of giving one because he doesn’t have free will in your city. I know you run the city this way, but this isn’t a matter of just your city. Our experiment could affect the whole of known Yatu, and if the metaphorical shit hits the fan, you want to have the cleanest possible background and research article. If that doesn’t happen, I guarantee you, someday one of the other powers—who actually believes or just pretends to believe in free will—will come running, and just for a lack of scientific name for this procedure, rip you a new one," stated Druj while stubbornly staring into Beelzebub’s eyes.

  (*Lulu really liked this old man.*)

  Lulu smiled ear to ear. "Do insects even have... you know, the backside part?" Lulu questioned him with mild curiosity and mischievous joy.

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  Druj smiled back. "Oh yes, indeed. Most of them have what we know as an anal canal, but some of them have a cloaca. It means that they use one canal for both s—"

  Beelzebub put a hand on Druj’s shoulder and stopped him from continuing his explanation.

  "Enough! The problem is that we don’t have any other candidates for this experiment that can show up in a timely manner, and shapeshifters are a tricky breed. The most powerful are far too rich to be swayed by money, and the less powerful are still powerful enough to fly under the radar. All I can do is give Mr. Lulu here a contract. If he cooperates with us, we will null his debt and give him a considerable monetary reward," Beelzebub said with a look of defeat on his face.

  Druj looked at Lulu with expecting eyes.

  "I need to know what this experiment truly is and why it needs a shapeshifter for it to work. Then, I can give you my consent," Lulu gave his reply, then winked at Beelzebub and continued, "And then negotiate for that monetary reward."

  Beelzebub was absolutely furious, but he kept himself in check.

  "So, you know that Ruuin is solidified magic! When magic becomes solid, it’s storable and not fleeting—unlike when it’s fluid and just sits between the fabric of space. But what keeps all these filthy rich bastards from using huge amounts of Ruuin to just supercharge any ritual into cataclysmic levels of power?" Druj paused for dramatic effect. He continued, "The fact that it’s hard to change. For magic to be usable, it needs to change from being solid; it needs to wash between the seams of reality. So, we need to change a huge amount of Ruuin into fluid magic in an instant for it to work—and that’s when you come into play."

  Lulu considered his words for a minute and replied, "I’m the essence of change, right? I’m a shifter."

  Druj smiled with delight.

  "So why didn’t you just grab my essence from my corpse after you killed me? Why do I need to be alive?"

  Druj had the expression of someone who tasted a really smelly cup of spoiled minotaur’s milk.

  "Well, first and foremost, I don’t kill for research. And secondly, there’s a particular problem with the essence of change. There’s not so much chance for change after death. It’s tremendously weaker than the original when they pluck it out of someone. So, I’m afraid that’s the only reason keeping my associates from doing horrendous things to you."

  (*Lulu had a lot to think about. So, the only reason his heart was beating right now was his essence. It was a hard thing to come by, but by all means, it wasn’t impossible for these moneybags to find another shifter. And now that he knew about all this super-secret experiment, what were the chances of them letting him leave with all of his pieces intact?*)

  Druj saw the conflict in Lulu’s eyes and, with a guilty look, said: "I certainly cannot give you the full assurance that Mr. Beelzebub or his associates would not harm you if you refuse to pay your debt, but I can tell for sure that I have little patience for the lack of manners and morality that my employer has shown." He paused for a second and continued, "There’s lots that can go wrong with this amount of power in a newly coined ritual, and I think Mr. Beelzebub doesn’t want his money, time, and reputation of Fire and Brimstone Industries to go to waste."

  Beelzebub clicked his—what Lulu hoped to be—tongue and pointed his finger toward Druj and said: "Although it’s unbecoming of me to revert to my old ways, let me make something clear for you two. You have no power over me or our company. We are the government. We are the literal system that gives you wage and sustenance. What happens when you anger the beast that feeds you because it needs you and not because of respect or fear? It either replaces you or breaks you in ways that make you compliant. I know that shifter scum here is lonelier than a demon who taxed their own mother, but you, Mr. Druj, have a very bright daughter who deserves all the support in Jaduq—and it would be a shame if her father started mouthing off the beast that feeds her."

  (*Lulu was beyond conflicted. In the span of seconds, everything went from bad to worse. He liked the old man. He was motivated, but he wasn’t a piece of shit like Bug Face over there. On the other hand, he was pretty sure that this experiment was not, in any shape or form, safe. Because they came for him—a low-tier shifter with barely any magic is not someone you use for safe experiments. He had "replaceable" written on his forehead in blood and gore. But it wouldn’t be that bad if Druj was willing to find someone that gave consent to this. He knew he was grasping at straws, but he didn’t want to be responsible for his shitty life and the life of the old man’s daughter getting ruined at the same time.

  The least thing he could do with his boring life was to do something cool like this experiment, and if it all came to an end, at least he was just ruining his own life, not another person’s. To be honest, he was never using his life to begin with. So, with these thoughts in his head, he made a choice.*)

  Druj responded by cracking his metallic staff on the very posh ceramic tiles of the room: "You will not threat—"

  "I’m doing it," Lulu said. He was nervous, but with all feelings unsavory, you should just push them deep inside and show the world your best shit-eating grin. So, he looked at Beelzebub and did just that. "I’m doing your awful experiment, you rat-tailed maggot."