Chapter 28

  Salesman

  "My word, a monster that dives at such speeds to attack?"

  Lord Oshu looks faint at my description of a falcon. I, of course, never used the word monster in that description, but through the eyes of a Tolestean, such a beast can only be conceived of as a monster. No mere animal could, in their perception, ever have such traits.

  "I'm more shocked at the bears," Lady Noya exclaims. "To think they are so smart as to just walk up and take what they want, yet so powerful as to shrug off attacks from even a group of soldiers!"

  That's true, I wouldn't want to fight a bear with a sword. But then, with everyone being superhuman in this world, maybe it would be a fairer fight. Then again, the bear would be superhuman, too. ... Superbear? Yeah, it would be superbear, that sounds awesome.

  Ayre, on the other hand, has heard of these animals before, and isn't nearly as impressed hearing about them a second time. "Wait until they hear about the spider venom that rots flesh, or the deer that can headbutt through the side of a carriage."

  The two nobles look horrified at that, but I put on my best hurt face expression as I turn to my companion. "What are you stealing my stories for, Ayre? Did I do something to you?"

  He's not buying it, of course. "Not at all, Remmi. I'm just starting to wonder if you have anything other than those four animals."

  "Oh, sure!" I set down my tea cup to hold up a finger for emphasis. "There's a bird that's taller than a man, runs as fast as a horse at full gallop, and a neighboring nation declared war on the entire species after they overran farms by the thousands. The nation lost. Twice."

  The table is dead silent. Even the servants in the corners of the room seem to be standing a little more rigid. Ayre, used to my antics as he may be, is still shaken at the thought of an entire nation losing to a single species, or maybe it's the sheer number of them. Probably some combination of the two.

  It's still Ayre that finds his voice first. "One of these days, Remmi, I'm going to learn better than to question if your tales can get any stranger."

  Of course, I can tell that's not what he really wants to say. I can see his real thoughts etched into his face. You keep saying you don't have any monsters, is what that face says, equal parts stunned and horrified.

  But it's true, Earth doesn't have monsters in the Tolestean sense, because we lack an Arcana or Essence Cycle. Monsters are species that have mutated into new, distinct lifeforms from the absorption of Arcana. More powerful in virtually every respect, their predecessor species go extinct and are forever replaced by their monstrous counterparts by simple competition.

  Even the humble horned rabbit, a creature so weak as to have a natural level of one, and a disposition so mild that they are kept as both livestock and children's pets, is a monster, physically superior to whatever once was the Tolestean rabbit.

  In exchange, Toleste's biodiversity seems far smaller than Earth's, presumably because evolution was interrupted by this shift relatively early on. It's even possible that modern monsters are descended from other species of monsters, rather than beasts. It's impossible to say for certain, at least with my knowledge of Tolestean paleontology, if there can be said to be much of such a field to begin with.

  As for why Ayre didn't just say as much, well, it's because we're not making it public knowledge that I'm not just from another country, but from another world entirely. It would just be too much more to explain, if the average layman, let alone a tradition-obsessed noble, could even wrap his head around it.

  "I can only assume that such a nation failed because they were not properly outfitted. Why, I can think of half a dozen items from our own catalogues that could make short work of such creatures."

  The table turns to face the new voice, a man dressed in robes nearly as fine as those of the nobles that are our hosts. I can immediately tell a salesman when I see one, and this man positively radiates, Boy, do I have a deal for you.

  He apparently rushed ahead of the servant escorting him to not be late in delivering the line, as said servant appears a moment later and inhales to introduce him.

  I can't help myself, however. I must stick and prod this excessive formality wherever I can make an excuse for it. I head the servant off, beating him to the punch as I stand to my feet.

  "Master Guire, I presume."

  While the servant flounders, the man before me isn't even flustered as he sweeps into a bow. "Lady Hero Remmi Lee, the missive warned me you were clever. And quick."

  Oh, a point to the staff's competency, then. That was far more than the very brief message that Lord Oshu had dictated. No doubt they are well-experienced in interpreting his brevity and relaying the necessary details. This also means that I have no idea how much he knows. I would do well to assume he knows at least everything Lord Oshu did up to that point, and possibly more from sources outside the home.

  He makes his way over to me with a smooth gait and bows again as he takes my hand. "It failed to warn me how lovely you were, though all the town is abuzz with that wonderful shade of yellow hair. It makes you stand out quite starkly in a crowd."

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  Yeah, he definitely knows about the fight in the square. There's no question in my mind about that now.

  The guards should have recovered from their paralysis by now, as well, though they aren't still there in the square. Lord Oshu sent for them to be recovered and detained in the estate barracks until he could speak with them. Almost makes me feel bad for them, but they did try to kill me, so ...

  I suppose pirate monsters did, too, and I didn't hold a grudge against them. But they were much nicer about it.

  Guire oozes enough charm that his flirtatious lines don't even come off as cheesy as they should be. If he has the slightest head for actual business, it's no wonder that he became one of the top merchants in the city.

  I put on my best smile and dip my head in gratitude for his praise. "In my homeland, my hair color is called Blonde, and I'm fortunate to have it."

  "Blonde," he repeats, the word foreign on his tongue. "I will remember that." Guire then turns to the Lord Mayor and Lady Regent and bows. "Lady Noya, it is always a good day to get even a moment within your presence. Lord Oshu, thank you for the invitation."

  Lord Oshu tosses his head back in a bark of laughter. "No honeyed words for me, old friend?"

  Guire smiles at what is obviously an old joke between them. "I remain of particular tastes, my Lord Mayor."

  "Well, you missed one." He motions across the table to Ayre. "Allow me to introduce you to Ayre, silver-rank adventurer and member of the Hero's party."

  Hey, he finally got to actually introduce someone, good for him! I give him a little mental applause for finally managing it for the first time since my arrival.

  "Ah, an elf!" He turns and gives Ayre a speculative eye before bowing again. "Your people are as renowned for your skills as much as for your eternal beauty."

  The compliment is less direct than it was for Lady Noya or myself, so I can't tell if he's guessed Ayre is a guy, or if he's just playing it safe. Or maybe it's just because Ayre is a potential customer.

  Ayre stands and bows at the waist back to him, a much more formal gesture than his own. "A pleasure, Master Guire. The Lord Mayor speaks highly of your acumen."

  "As, indeed, he should," he boasts. "There is no other enterprise in the region that carries the range of goods that Guirecraft Mercantile does, nor of such quality!"

  Lord Oshu waves a dismissive hand. "Save the sales pitch until everyone is seated, Master Guire. This is to be a casual affair, and besides, I understand they already have a list of their needs."

  Guire dips his head and goes to oblige, and even I wait until we're all sitting again and he's had a pull of his tea.

  "We do, for the most part," I confirm, "but it can be subject to change if it's something beneficial. However, I'm curious, are you only able to acquire goods from this region?"

  "Hmm?" he asks with a sparkle in his eye. "Got your mind on something in particular, then? I'm afraid your homeland may be a bit far away, but ..."

  I shake my head. "No, no, not that far away. I've become quite fond of the goods from the Serazin Province, but we've nearly exhausted them on our trip thus far."

  "Serazin, eh?" He rubs his chin, clearly running the numbers in his head. "Yes, it could be done. Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't want the opportunity to prove the worth of our own goods to you in their stead."

  "Spare no expense, old friend," Lord Oshu assures him immediately. "If she wants Serazin goods, go ahead and get them. You'll have time enough before they arrive to show off our own goods. She'll be staying here at the estate, after all."

  Guire nods back, then turns back to me. "Splendid! Then I believe I can accommodate you."

  "I'll write out a list, then," I tell him. "We'll take a proper inventory and have it to you before the day is over. Get it to Sacred Priestess Yorin in Dabun Village, she knows the sources I want."

  His eyes widen, as do those of the nobles. "You'd have me use a Sacred Priestess as a sales agent?"

  "It's not that," I assure him. "Rather, as a Hero, she's the priestess I'm assigned to. As such, she's in charge of most of the things related to me."

  He's rubbing his chin again. "I see. I was unaware of how the Holy Temple arranges things for the Heroes."

  "I can't speak to the setup for the other Heroes," I clarify. "The assignment was likely because of my foreign origins, since I came here knowing nothing of the Empire or its customs."

  His salesman smile returns in full force. "Well, you carry yourself very well for someone so young who claims to know so little."

  I match it watt for watt. "Good manners are universal."

  Ayre raises a hand tentatively, as if worried about being caught in the middle of some sort of battle. "Um, I would be interested in hearing about those items you mentioned for dealing with the monsters Remmi was describing."

  Guire breaks from my gaze with a smoothness that makes breaking feel like the wrong word and swivels his attention to the elf. "Of course, of course! Why, the first that comes to mind would be what I affectionately call the Bola Net Arrow. It's still in prototyping, but it's already garnering interest from nobility!"

  In other words, it's not working yet, and the only one to show any interest is Lord Oshu.

  I, of course, don't say this. Instead, I use another angle. "Bola Net? So it's a pair of arrows fired as one, with a weighted net between them that entangles the target?"

  He snaps his fingers and points to me. "Precisely, Lady Hero! A hundred archers could stop a thousand such monsters with ease with such ammunition!"

  "But wouldn't the extra weight and the arrow's aerodynamics completely destroy the range and accuracy of the weapon?"

  He falters noticeably. "These ... are issues we are still addressing in testing. I did not know you were an engineer, as well, Lady Hero?"

  I pull the Noodle Spitter from behind my shoulder and pass it to him. "I built this."

  He marvels at it appropriately for a minute, though I'm not sure how much of it he really understands. He'd probably understand it better if I broke it down into sales points for him.

  "A fascinating take on a repeating crossbow," he says finally, at least recognizing the class of weapon he's holding. "Is this typical of the weaponry your people use?"

  "It has some commonalities," I admit, "but no. It's a decent hold-out weapon, but it's much weaker than the weapons I'm accustomed to."

  He seems reassured by that. "As one would expect. A repeating crossbow just can't compete with a real weapon."

  Oh, now, I want to give him a demonstration. I grab up an apple from the fruit bowl, test it in my hand, then pass it to Ayre. "Throw this across the room for me."

  Ayre gets that bad look on his face and shakes his head slowly. "Remmi ..."

  I beam at my friend. "Please?"

  He sighs, then rears back and chucks it. In a blink, I've yanked the Noodle Spitter back from Guire and fired. It takes the rest of the table a moment to realize what just happened, then another to locate the fruit, pinned firmly to the wall.

  While their jaws are still hanging, I take the opportunity to fire another four bolts, dead center of the apple, to illustrate the consecutive firing of the weapon. William Tell would be proud.

  With the fruit sufficiently destroyed, I exchange the empty magazine for a new one from my belt and return the weapon to its holster. I don't say another word, allowing the act to speak for itself as I pick up my tea again and take another sip.

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