Now that I came to terms about my… preferences? Whatever you may want to call it, it didn’t help me sleep that night. It was already morning and I had yet to fall asleep. Well, that’s not totally true, I did fall asleep a couple of times. It’s just that having Violet sleeping by my side was… very stimuting to my dreams. We ended up snuggling after we got in bed—quite soon after, I might add—and being so nicely held by her, feeling her scent, it made my sleeping mind imagination go wild. I would then jolt awake right as it was getting to the good part. It’s not like I wanted to dream about my friend. I just wanted to sleep, that’s all.

  As I id there, staring at the ceiling, I passed the time thinking about all the things we did together until that point as I listened to Violet’s breathing in my ear with half her body on me. It all felt so nostalgic, even though it had been only four months. It was amazing how we grew so close in such a short amount of time. Maybe because we needed each other? Although, now there was this situation of me potentially needing Violet more than she needed me. But I didn’t want to keep worrying about that, so I went back to my sweet memories.

  Violet moaned and shifted in bed, grasping firmly my clothes. She was with a slightly troubled face and I thought she might have been having a nightmare. With another moan, she started opening her eyes. She proceeded to lift her body, putting it to rest on her arm while she rubbed her eyes with the other.

  “Morin Abby,” she slurred in a half-awake state.

  “Morning, sleepy head. It’s still too early for you to wake up.”

  Violet commented she was having the weirdest dream before asking what time it was as she squinted towards the clock dispy. It was to be six in the morning in a few minutes with her only needing to get out of bed an hour after that.

  “It’s way too early.”

  “Yeah, that’s why I told you to go back to sleep.”

  She went back to y her head on the pillow.

  I thought she had gone back to sleep when she asked me if I wasn’t going for one of my morning runs.

  I would feel bad leaving her alone and I was too tired for that.

  “You? Tired? Didn’t you sleep?”

  “Yeah, It’s one of those nights.”

  “Is it because I’m here?”

  When Violet asked me that, in my sleep deprived state, I thought she meant something else. When I looked at her worried, dimly lit face, I knew what she actually meant. Violet was thinking I was fussing about mum.

  “Don’t worry. You being here doesn’t worry me one bit.”

  “I see,” she said as she shut her eyes. “You should try to sleep, even if just for a bit.”

  “I will. Although, if I stay awake, I can watch you sleep.”

  “…That’s a creepy thing to say.”

  “Hehe. Sorry. I’m just kidding.”

  “…Would it help if we snuggle?”

  We are already doing that and it is making it worse.

  Of course, that’s something I wouldn’t say to her face.

  “It’s fine. Just go to sleep already.”

  “…Hmm. I think I’ll just keep talking to you.”

  She’d prefer talking with me over sleeping? Apparently, yes, since we wouldn’t be able to hang out much during the holidays. We could always give each other a call though.

  “…It’s not…the same.”

  “… I changed my mind. I want that cuddle,” I said as I heard a switch flipping in my mind.

  “Sure… I was feeling a bit cold.”

  That didn’t feel like an excuse. I could feel her cold hands through my clothes. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed her hands, pced one under my arm and the other between my face and pillow.

  “Thanks, but… isn’t it uncomfortable?” she asked, her breath hitting my lips.

  “You will be warm in an instant so, don’t bother with it.”

  “Fufu, thanks,” she said with a pleased look. “You are always so warm.”

  True, I wasn’t someone who suffered from the winter cold. But in this situation, I felt like my normally high body temperature wasn’t the only cause for my warmness.

  “What have you been doing all this time?” she asked.

  “Just going through my memories of us in these st few months.”

  “Hmm,” she hummed. “Anything good?”

  “Do you even have to ask?” I teased. “Actually… I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Is it something embarrassing?”

  “I don’t know, maybe. Remember that time you said you were wrong about me? What was that about?”

  She opened her eyes and gave me a regretful expression.

  “I’m sorry, Abby…”

  “It’s ok,” I reassured her. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  “That’s not it,” she mumbled. “Since you are always teasing me, at the time I thought you were mocking me and talking about it to your friends behind my back… I’m so sorry for having ever thought that about you.”

  “It’s ok. If I look it from your perspective, I can see why you’d think that.”

  “…I’m still sorry.”

  I pulled myself a bit out of the covers, my chin now levelled with her nose. I was going to try something which would be a nice way to make her feel like she paid back her… “offence”, and I’d get some fun out of it.

  “In that case,” I whispered as I pnted a kiss on her forehead, “I’ll be having this as your punishment.”

  At first, Violet went wide eyed and, even if I couldn’t see it clearly, fully flushed. But when she went and rested her head against my chest sobbing, my heart gave an audible crack.

  “I’m so sorry, Violet! I didn’t mean to go too far!” I excused in a panic.

  She moved her head side to side, giving little sobs as she tried to form words.

  “I-t’s like…like mum… like she used…”

  She couldn’t finish her sentence, but I understood immediately. I made a memory of her mum surface. A gesture of kindness and love she probably had forgotten until that moment. Were we, mum and I, ever like that?

  I just held Violet tighter as I patted her on the head until the arm that told us it was time to get her out rang.

  She murmured a thank you when my arm rested back on her side. I didn’t quite get what she was thanking me for, so I asked her that.

  “I don’t have many memories of my mum. So…”

  My previous guess was right, and to test the waters, I asked what she was like.

  “I’m told she was a very kind, warm person,” she spoke weakly.

  Seeing that she seemed willing to talk, and having my curiosity peaking, I carried on with the inquiry, namely if she was as pretty as Violet and what was her name.

  “I only saw a couple of pictures of her, but she was beautiful. Way more than I’ll ever be. And her name was Charlotte.”

  I was going to say something about Violet probably being as beautiful as her mum, but I took too long.

  “I have her st name, you know?”

  “Hers? Not your father’s?”

  “They never married. Dad always wanted to give her a proper marriage, but they never had the money for it. And dad says Evergreen suits me more than Miller.”

  “Violet Miller… Violet Evergreen… Yeah, Evergreen suits you way better.”

  She lifted her face to look into my eyes.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “You are always trying your best, no matter how hard it is for you. It also has a very nice ring to it.”

  “…Thanks,” she spoke as she went back to resting her head on my chest.

  “That’s it? No arguing back?” I said jovially, trying to lighten the mood.

  “You’d just make a counterargument I couldn’t refute, so…”

  “Hehe. You are starting to know me well, huh?”

  “I guess I am,” she said with a soft giggle.

  We id there for a long while. I didn’t think she had fallen asleep, but it was a bit strange for us to stay wrapped in each other like that without her trying to pry away. I considered calling her a couple of times, but if she had indeed fallen asleep, I’d feel bad to wake her. It was a hindrance to our pns of sneaking her out, but if pushes come to shoves, I’d hide Violet in my bathroom until mum left.

  “Are you free today, Abby?”

  “Ye-yeah,” I replied, a bit startled by her sudden words. I have about two more hours I added after checking the time.

  “I’m sorry, but could you come with me somewhere?”

  This was the first time she had ever asked me out. Up until that moment, it had always been me. That got me extremely happy, way more than what I’d have guessed. That was tempered with the fact she was saying sorry. That was weird.

  “Sure, Violet. I’d like that very much.”

  “…Thanks,” she simply said.

  “So… where are you taking me?” I asked a bit anxious.

  “It might be weird, but I’d like to introduce you to my mum,” she said solemnly. “If you are ok with it, that is.”

  ???

  We were walking side by side, Abby just slightly behind me. We didn’t talk all the way to the cemetery. We were both in too deep of a thought for any kind of conversation. I was told this was the first time she had ever been in such a pce and as a result she had no idea how to behave or what to do, so she’d be following my example. Just what should we do after we got to my mother’s grave? Should we knee? Should we pray? Or was it like the movies and we should just say something to the picture in the gravestone? Should she put a hand on my shoulder and give me some comfort? Those were questions she could possibly be mulling over and I could have answered, had I thought about any of it before we got there.

  “We’ve arrived,” I said as we stopped while facing a grave.

  It was a simple grave. The stone had Charlotte Evergreen written in white letters, contrasting with the dark stone. Above the name was a picture of her face. It was a little bit bleached by the sun, but we could still see she was a lot like me; or rather, I was a lot like her, only younger. Doing a little math, Abby commented her age, almost twenty-five when she passed away… so young. Just what had happened? She most likely wanted to know, but I didn’t want to bring up such a sad subject and upset her even further. She didn’t ask me either, either out of consideration, or understanding my thought process by a look alone.

  “Hello mum. I’ve brought someone with me whom I want to introduce to you.”

  I made Abby a sign to come closer and, surprising us both a little, grabbed her hand when she stepped forward.

  “Her name is Abbigail Gardener, but I just call her Abby. She’s my fr… my best friend.”

  I was now starting to sound emotional. Abby gave my hand a soft squeeze that I thanked with a quick smile.

  “I have a friend now so…erm… you don’t have to worry… erm…”

  My eyes started watering. There were so many things I wanted to say, that I had pnned to say, but now… now I just couldn’t. Those words wouldn’t come up.

  “Miss Charlotte,” Abby started a bit awkwardly. “Like Violet said, I’m Abby. Your daughter is a very nice person. Erm… Every day is a lot of fun with her. Even when I go a bit overboard, she is still patient with me. She is also a bit of a pain to deal with at times, but even so, we have fun together. She is very supportive when I need it the most, even though we don’t know each other for that long. Erm… I really l-like her.”

  We didn’t say anything for a while. After her speech, I could feel my expression lightened up. Somehow, she was able to say some of the stuff I had intended, along with some more I was sure mum would have been happy to hear.

  “Let’s go, Abby,” I said with a soft tug on her hand. “Goodbye mum. Until next time.”

  “Goodbye Miss Charlotte,” she said.

  We were now walking with no defined destination. Even if cold, it was a beautiful morning. We still hadn’t spoken a word since we left mum’s grave, but I was satisfied with the results. I was also slightly flushed. It was cold, so there was that, but the fact we were still holding hands when people started walking about in their daily lives was getting to me. The hand she was holding had its fingers a bit cold, contrasting to how warm hers felt like. Warm and tiny. Delicate. It was really hard to let go.

  “I’m surprised you are still holding my hand,” she stated. “Is it because it’s cold, or are you actually enjoying it?”

  “…It’s because it’s cold,” I said as I gained a bit more colour on the face. Mostly I spoke almost inaudibly.

  “Should I also hold the other one?” she joked.

  I ughed, asking how we were supposed to walk if we did that. Her solution was us inverting the grips and one would walk facing forward with the other following. That was just silly, and me picturing that made me ugh again.

  “Speaking of walking, we’ve been doing that for a while but I have no idea where to. Have you pnned something?”

  Like I said, I didn’t.

  Still in a joking mood, she asked if we should stop somewhere and if I wasn’t getting tired?

  I might not exercise like she did, but my part time demanded me to stand and walk for long periods of time, I told her, trying to sound annoyed. Whether I was able to fake it or not, I couldn’t tell. She was still grinning impishly at me anyway.

  “And when will you let me visit you at your workpce?”

  “Oh, that’s never going to happen.”

  “Why not? I promise I’ll let you be,” she whined.

  “I have no doubts you would. Still, I’d be too distracted with you there.”

  “Aww. Are you that self-conscious with me around?”

  “No! I’d just be even more worried about messing up and look like an idiot in front of you!”

  She ughed for a good bit due to my outburst. I also accompanied Abby with my own ughter. It was the most I’ve ever heard myself doing so, and so was she as an extension.

  “You know, your ugh is really nice,” she said, hugging my arm.

  “I-is it?” I asked, noticing she was being serious.

  “Mm-hmm. It’s soft and pleasant to the ear. I’m being dead serious.”

  I knew she was even if she didn’t state it. Whenever she started acting fluffy and telling me that kind of stuff, she was always telling her true thoughts.

  “How about we keep doing this until lunch time?” she suggested. “That’s what I’d like to say, but I have stuff to do today.”

  That was such a shame, to tell the truth. I had the day open until my night shift, so we could have had the whole day were it not for her mum’s arbitrations.

  “Haah, I wished I’d be able to have lunch with you. Another one of those stupid business visits I must attend for some reason.”

  I said it was a shame, feeling sorrowful and not hiding it. But why couldn’t she just not go?

  “My mum told me way more times than I can keep count it’s so I have an idea of what I’ll be doing career-wise.”

  “You want to be a businesswoman?” I asked fbbergasted.

  “You know me well enough that your own reaction serves as my answer.”

  Yeah, of course Abby didn’t want to be a businesswoman. She was too cheerful and restless for that.

  “Erm… what is it you want to do when you grow up?”

  “I have no idea. Anything but that, that’s to be sure. How about you, Violet?”

  Hmm. I had thought I might try and go full time where I’m already working, but I didn’t really know if that’s something I wanted to do professionally since I can get seriously exhausted emotionally when dealing with people. The pce also didn’t look like it was doing all that well either.

  “Yeah, I see what you mean. Well, you might get better at it, but still—”

  I suddenly stopped, causing her to be yanked in a way that made her almost fall. I didn’t apologize for it because I had something very important to tell her before any of that and have the conversation derail and causing me to forget.

  “A PE teacher!” I excimed enthusiastically.

  “Don’t get me wrong, but that might be a bit too much for you,” she said trying not to sound too much of a downer.

  “Oh no! Not me! You!”

  “Me?!”

  I nodded vigorously. So much so, I could feel my gsses wanting to go flying out of my face.

  The way she looked at me was very immersed in thought, but slowly turning into enthusiasm.

  A PE teacher?

  Well, she was good at sports and her scores were the highest in css, either perfect or so close they might as well be. She’d also get to do something more physically active. I was aware it wouldn’t be just fun and games. We both were. There would be times she had to take care of evaluations, school meetings, dealing with parents and all that jazz. But honestly, I didn’t think she’d mind it all that much when all things considered. In fact, even after I pointed that out to her and the more she thought about it all, the giddier she got with the idea. Yeah, that sounded awesome to us both.

  She stepped forward and wrapped her free arm around me a bit too forcibly, completely buzzing with excitement.

  “You know what? You are right! That does sound like something I can do and like. Thank you! Thank you!”

  “I’m happy I was useful but Abby please! You are hurting me!” I squealed.

  “Sorry, sorry,” she said as she released me. Not my hand though. “It’s just… I don’t know…”

  “Gee, Abby. You’re always so excitable,” I said as I tried a stern voice, but the smile I had ruined the illusion.

  She made a decision in that instant. As soon as she got home, she would talk with her parents. She had done what they wanted for her whole life, it was only fair they now at least listened to her request. We both hoped it would also make her mum mellow out about her, and they could get along better.

  We didn’t tell each other that, but without a doubt, it was our hope as we stood there in the street.