(“We regret the things we don’t do more than the things we do”)
Amanda H. Giovanni
Date of Death: February 26th
Time of Death: 12:09 PM
Cause of Death: Clinical tumor progression
I feel sick.
Really sick.
I went to work today as tired as ever.
The stress I’ve been feeling lately combined with the 4 hours of sleep I (surprisingly) managed to get really wasn’t a good mix.
The plan for today was supposed to be as follows
- Go to work
- Leave at 4:30
- Drive over to the hospital to see my daughter Amanda
My workload for the day wasn’t as bad as usual. All I had to do was look over some documents and plan a few meetings for my boss.
Simple enough.
It wasn’t intended, but a few weeks ago my boss ended up finding out why I’ve been so stressed as of late.
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“I know your daughter has a brain tumor” he said to me in passing.
“Take your time with work, Marie.”
“I’m not here to rush you”
“I’m here to support you.”
Today was supposed to be better than most days.
I was planning on buying Amanda her favorite snack; Chocolate covered marshmallows
I wanted to see her smile the way she used to before this whole…mess
I guess the Lord had other plans though
Because at 12:13
I got a call.
I was sitting at my desk when I heard the phone ring
At first, I was under the impression that I would have to schedule another meeting for my boss
So I didn’t think much of it
But then
Like a bullet to my heart
I heard those words
Those criminally ugly words
“Mrs. Giovanni, we’re so sorry for your loss….”
Everything after that was a blur
But I remember one thing…
I was on my knees when I said it
My boss was holding me close to his chest
Through my aching heart and my heavy sobbing
I remember those words
“I never even got to say goodbye to her”
My sweet angel…
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry…