Chapter 4

  ("Friends become family, and losing a best friend is like losing a sibling." )

  To my dearest friend, Mandy

  Your death was probably the most unexpected thing that happened today.

  It was even more unexpected than that pop quiz me and Annie had to take in Mrs. Rayas class.

  I think now, as I write this into my notes app, I’ve been in the bathroom for 15 minutes.

  I got a call 20 minutes ago

  I wasn’t sure who it was from at first until Annie told me she recognized the number

  When I asked who it was, she simply said “The hospital.”

  I was upset that I had declined

  So when they called again 5 minutes later, I quickly ran here to answer

  In the back of my mind, I knew something had happened.

  But…

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  I wanted to ignore those feelings

  I mean-

  …

  I thought that maybe it was just going to be another call about you wanting me to visit during the school day.

  I had hope.

  But then

  They told me you were dead, Mandy

  They told me you died

  You’re dead

  I couldn’t help but scream, Mandy

  I’m sorry.

  I think I scared someone when I did.

  You would’ve been mad at me for that

  And in that moment

  I would’ve been ok with you being mad at me

  I would’ve done anything to just hug you and cry

  But here as I sit in this stall

  I cry alone

  I wish you were here

  I wonder why Annie didn’t come.

  Maybe she just didn’t want to think of the possibility of your death.

  Or the possibility that something bad happened to you

  I don’t know.

  I just wish I weren’t crying alone.