"Those are my nunchucks," he said, reaching out as the three of them tumbled out the back door.

  To Shilloh's surprise, Birch handed them back without some convoluted game of keep away.

  "They weigh nothing. Why are your nunchucks made of bitchy-bitch papier-mache?" the impish woman asked.

  "Aluminum," the bane corrected, not seeming bothered as he closed the door behind them.

  "Why aluminum? Doesn't even feel like you could smite a single traitor to the sect."

  Scotty nodded and checked the alley they were in as he spoke. "These aren't for foe smiting. I got them so I had something to do with my hands during long conference calls."

  "That's… fair," Birch said, grudgingly.

  "Yup," and the man spread his arms, motioning them to exit the alley. "They're great at bars. Usually good for a laugh. Ten out of ten, highly recommend."

  "Whoa there," Shilloh said, holding up her hand to stop him as he tried to chivy them out of the alley. "I wasn't just helping from the goodness of my heart. Wade sent us. Said I might be able to talk you into giving me some bane training."

  She didn't think Birch spotted it, but, for just a sliver of a second, the thin man's stance changed. It wasn't much; just a tiny flinch as he held back the instinct to bring his outstretched arms in close to his body and a subtle change of weight as he centered himself over his feet like he was about to spring.

  His face didn't change, though. He readjusted his glasses and went back to standing with his hands on his hips. She noticed that, with the baggy fabric of his shirt pressed in close to his body, there were a few faint lines around his waist that might indicate other weapons.

  "I'm sure someone did send you my way, but it's probably just a practical joke. I set up snares, keep records, and occasionally charge extra to clean a gun. I'm not a training montage kind of guy."

  If this had been a casual conversation, she would have bought it. But the way he had positioned himself to put his hands closer to his weapons made her think that there was something else going on.

  It was hard to think clearly, though. Her heart was still pounding, and she had a strong suspicion that the man was deciding if he needed to shoot his way out of this situation. Usually, she would bail anytime shooting was even a distant possibility. But something in her said that this was a critical moment.

  The question was, how did she use her tact, grace, and social wiles to convince him that she wasn't a security threat or mole? What was something a charming non-spy, normal person, who you wanted to spend your free time training would say?

  "Wade said you're the biggest nerd he's ever met in his whole life."

  He didn't even blink. "Yeah. Obviously. I mean, have you seen me?"

  "Fair," Birch muttered.

  Alright. Take two. Tact and social graces.

  "Yeah, but that came from a gear-sexual who carries a handgun so big that he could compensate for an entire table of men who think that only 'beta bitches’ would use moisturizer or take hot showers."

  "Again, fair. But I'm not taking disciples. Find your kung fu master elsewhere."

  He tried to shoo them out of the alley one more time, but Shilloh wasn't having it. Her heart was only just now slowing down enough that she could feel an ache in her ribs from where someone had probably elbowed her. But she still took a deep breath.

  "I'm sorry. I'm still a little out of sorts. Bar fights aren't my scene." She shot Birch a glare even as the other woman opened her mouth.

  Shilloh powered through before the agent of chaos, who had become her friend, derailed things further. "Wade told me that I should mention that Birch and I are both willing to pay you by helping you with a piece of media of your choice."

  "Oh," Scotty said, blinking. "Well, why didn't you lead with that?"

  "Why do you make kung fu sounds when you taze people?"

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  "Battle quips are dumb and impractical. It's never going to happen if I don't practice hard."

  "I like him," Birch said. "We're taking him from Wade and keeping him."

  Scotty eyed her. "Slow down, short, dark, and crazy. I'm open to a date and figuring out if you want a whirlwind romance. But I'll warn you, I'm a fucking catch, and I will be treated like it."

  "Romance? Gross."

  He shrugged. "Eh, different strokes for different folks."

  Before the banter could get any further, Shilloh stepped up and held out her hand. She introduced herself and Birch. Scotty returned the favor and once again tried to move them out of the alley.

  They had delayed too long, though.

  There was a flapping-canvas sound from the air above them. Birch looked up, but as a cartographer used to being in the wild, Shilloh went for her weapon first.

  The skinny bane's hand closed around her wrist as fast as a viper. She hadn't even seen him close the distance.

  "None of that," he ordered, face devoid of humor.

  Everyone froze as what looked like a black cat with bat wings swooped into the alley. It landed on top of a dumpster and reared up on its back legs. The cat's body went from being whole and completely functional to deflating and being shrugged away like a bear skin mantle hung on a Viking's back. In an eerily smooth transformation, the creature became a small, purple, humanoid figure with tribal tattoos and an onyx silk cloak.

  It chittered at Scotty, and he reached out for it even as the creature put a hand to its side and stumbled.

  The poor thing was wounded.

  Shilloh took a step forward, and suddenly Scotty had a gun in his hand. It was tucked tight to his body in a retention pose, and his free hand looked like it was ready to stiff-arm her away.

  He started to say, "No closer!" even as she snarled, "If you shoot him, I will fucking gut you!"

  They stared at each other.

  The silence stretched.

  The bane spoke first. "You," he pointed at a Shilloh, "think that I," he pointed at himself, "am a threat to him?" he moved his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the hurt creature.

  "Are you not?"

  "No. We're pals. He gives me news."

  "Oh." She looked at Birch, who had frozen as soon as the gun came out. "Well. That's good."

  The thin man smiled, his weapons disappearing smoothly, "Yeah, it is, isn't it. Saves you the trouble of, from the look you had on your face, gutting me and hiding the body."

  Shilloh moved carefully towards the injured being, her hands out to show she meant no harm. But she stopped and made sure to meet the bane's eyes, "To be clear. This is no mindless thing. It's a person. Even if it wasn't, if you tried to hurt a helpless, innocent creature in front of me, then hiding your body wouldn't trouble me at all."

  Rather than being intimidated, the man just laughed. He shot a look at Birch, "What about you, my forlorn, abandoned love, you have any issues with sentient cryptos?"

  "Bro, I just want to get drunk and make sure whatever deal we make doesn't fuck up book club."

  "Book club?" Scotty asked, moving towards the creature. With deft hands, he applied first aid. Which, in this case, meant he used a Band-Aid from his pocket and a small plastic packet of honey that looked like it had been taken from a chain coffee store.

  As he doctored the creature whose height was not even the full length of his arm, he chit-chatted with Birch about the book club. To Shilloh's horror, he recognized some of the titles.

  "Ahhh," he said, "I see that you are a woman of culture."

  "I'm working to become one," her friend said demurely.

  "Good, good. If you want any visual media, just let me know."

  "No, thank you. I'm a lady, I read my porn."

  No matter what she threw out, the man didn't flinch, and she could see the building smile on Birch's face as she evaluated what probably looked like an amusing challenge.

  Eventually, they left the alley. Scotty borrowed her jacket to bundle up the small being. Birch had tried to get a rise out of him by lying and saying that she was 'free ballin' inside her onsie, or she would have offered to hide the little man in there.

  Scotty had only nodded, put a hand on her shoulder, and conspiratorially whispered that he, too, was naked underneath his clothes.

  As they meandered towards what was, presumably, the direction of his house. He asked why she wanted training.

  She explained the job offer, alluded obliquely to a very revealing adventure with Wade, and he seemed to get much more engaged.

  'Alright, here's the deal. Since you're already engaged in fine literature, I will charge you a pittance for my tutelage."

  His eyes sharpened. In fact, his entire posture became more alert. Having just seen a fight, she put her guard up.

  "You'd better not be getting ready to sell me on how cheap a few thousand dollars is a pittance for people who care about reading and the acquisition of knowledge."

  He snorted, "I don't need your money. I'm looking to trade you something more valuable."

  Shilloh tensed.

  "I'm offering you a new career and a way to extend your life. In exchange, I think it's only fair for you to extend the life of something else."

  It was all she could do not to start shaking. The phantom feeling of needles under her tongue made her mouth start to water.

  If it weren't for Birch's presence and Wade's assumption that she would be part of the deal, she might have tried to run. But, still, if he didn't want her blood, but he wanted two young women to help with extending lives or helping careers...

  "As lovely women of discerning taste and a well-developed appreciation for art, I will require a mere three movies."

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