[05:30] [05:29]

  The numbers in the sky were massive, burning red against the black void, counting down to the end of the world.

  "Keep running!" Kai screamed, his lungs burning. "Don't look back!"

  "I must look back!" Gideon yelled, pounding along beside him. The Knight was surprisingly fast for a man carrying a sugar-coated pumpkin and forty pounds of plate armor. " The forest... it is being unmade!"

  Kai glanced over his shoulder. Gideon was right.

  The "Server Maintenance" wasn't a storm. It was an eraser.

  Behind them, the Spaghetti Code Wilderness was dissolving. The wireframe trees didn't burn or fall; they simply turned bone-white, stripped of their textures, and then disintegrated into sparkling binary dust. The ground was vanishing, leaving nothing but a stark, white abyss.

  "The Nothingness pursues us!" Gideon roared. "It eats the very earth!"

  "It’s deleting the cache!" Kai wheezed. "If it touches you, you're gone! No respawn! Just... poof!"

  "I do not wish to go 'poof'!" Viscount Pigglesworth shrieked.

  The nobleman was struggling. His velvet slippers were not made for cross-country sprinting. He was red in the face, clutching his teacup to his chest like a holy relic.

  "This is unacceptable!" Pigglesworth panted. "I did not sign up for cardio! I demand a carriage! Or a sedan chair!"

  "Run now, complain later!" Kai grabbed the back of the Viscount’s jacket and hauled him forward as a tree directly behind them turned white and vanished.

  [03:15]

  "There!" Clippy chirped, popping into existence right in front of Kai’s face, nearly causing him to trip. "You have reached your destination! The Temple of Terms & Conditions! Please rate my navigation 5 stars!"

  "Move, you rusty metal twist!" Kai swatted the paperclip away.

  Ahead of them, rising out of the glitchy forest, was a massive structure.

  It didn't look like a church. It looked like a courthouse built by giants. It was a monolithic block of grey stone, imposing and utterly featureless, save for a massive set of double doors that looked heavy enough to hold back an ocean.

  "The Sanctuary!" Gideon gasped. "We are saved!"

  They scrambled up the stone steps, collapsing onto the platform in front of the doors. Kai checked the sky.

  [02:00]

  The white void was closing in. It had consumed the river. It was eating the forest. It was a mile away and closing fast.

  "Open it!" Kai yelled. "Gideon, get the door!"

  Gideon charged the massive stone doors. He braced his shoulder, gritted his teeth, and shoved with all his might.

  The doors didn't budge.

  "It is sealed!" Gideon grunted, straining against the stone. "There is no keyhole! Only... magic."

  "It’s not magic," Kai said, looking at the glowing barrier shimmering in front of the wood. "It’s a prompt."

  Floating in the air, blocking the entrance, was a massive, translucent scroll. It glowed with a soft, golden light. It was filled with dense, tiny text that stretched down to the floor and curled up in a pile.

  [USER AGREEMENT] [To enter the Safe Zone, you must Accept the Terms of Service.]

  "A test of faith," Gideon whispered, staring at the glowing runes. "The Gods require us to recite the scripture before we may enter."

  "It’s a EULA," Kai groaned, looking at the wall of text. "We have to agree to the rules."

  "Then we shall agree!" Gideon declared. He stepped up to the scroll, cleared his throat, and began to read aloud with the booming voice of a town crier.

  "Article One!" Gideon shouted. "The User acknowledges that they are a temporary guest in this reality and agrees not to reverse-engineer the cosmos." Gideon paused, nodding solemnly. "A fair request. I have no knowledge of engineering."

  "Gideon, stop," Kai warned.

  "Article Two!" Gideon continued. "The User agrees to waive all rights to privacy, dignity, and the structural integrity of their avatar." He frowned. "My avatar? Does he mean my honor? I suppose... for survival..."

  "Gideon, seriously, stop."

  "Article Three!" Gideon took a deep breath. "The User accepts that 'Physics' is a suggested guideline and not a guarantee."

  [01:30]

  "We don't have time to read it!" Kai screamed, pointing at the sky. "Look at the scroll, Gideon! Look at the bottom!"

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  Gideon looked down. The scroll didn't end at the floor. It passed through the floor, seemingly infinite.

  "It is the Endless Word," Gideon gasped in horror. "It would take a lifetime to recite!"

  "We have ninety seconds!" Kai looked frantically around the doorframe. "We need to scroll to the bottom! Where is the bar?"

  "The bar?" Pigglesworth asked, looking hopeful. "Are they serving drinks?"

  "The Scroll Bar!" Kai spotted it.

  On the right side of the massive doorframe, there was a heavy iron lever set into a vertical track. It was currently at the very top, high above their heads.

  "Gideon! Boost me!"

  Gideon didn't ask questions. He cupped his gauntleted hands. Kai stepped in, and the knight launched him upward.

  Kai grabbed the iron lever. It was heavy, rusted, and cold. His weight dragged it down a few inches.

  WHIRRRRR.

  The text on the floating scroll sped up.

  "It moves!" Gideon shouted. "The scripture flows like water!"

  "It’s too heavy!" Kai grunted, dangling from the handle. The lever was stuck. The text was scrolling, but slowly. "I need more weight! Pigglesworth! Grab my legs!"

  "I certainly will not," the Viscount huffed. "I am not a piece of luggage."

  [01:00]

  The white void reached the edge of the clearing. The sound of the world being deleted was a high-pitched, digital screech.

  "GRAB HIS LEGS!" Gideon roared, grabbing Pigglesworth by the back of his velvet coat and lifting him up.

  "Un-hand me, you brute!" Pigglesworth flailed as Gideon slammed him into Kai’s legs.

  "Hold on!" Kai yelled.

  Pigglesworth grabbed Kai’s ankles in terror. The added weight broke the rust seal.

  CLUNK.

  The lever plummeted.

  WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  The text on the glowing scroll became a blur. Thousands of lines of legal gibberish flew past in seconds. Liability waived... Arbitration mandatory... Soul ownership transferable...

  "Faster!" Kai screamed as the ground shook.

  They hit the bottom of the track with a bone-jarring CLANG.

  The scrolling stopped. The text settled on the final paragraph.

  [Do you Accept the Terms?] [ ] YES [ ] NO

  "We are at the end!" Gideon cheered, reaching for the glowing [YES] rune.

  "Wait!"

  Pigglesworth let go of Kai’s legs, dropping to the stone floor. He stood up, adjusted his monocle, and pointed a trembling finger at the final paragraph.

  "I cannot sign this," the Viscount declared.

  "WHAT?!" Kai dropped from the lever, landing beside him. "Pigglesworth, the world is ending in forty seconds!"

  "Read it," Pigglesworth snapped, pointing at the glowing text. "Article 9, Section 4. 'The User agrees to surrender their sole to the Administration upon entry.'"

  "So what? It’s standard boilerplate!" Kai yelled. "They own your soul! Big deal! We have no choice!"

  "Not my soul, you peasant," Pigglesworth hissed. "My Sole. S-O-L-E."

  Kai squinted. Pigglesworth was right. It was a typo.

  "They want my shoe?" Pigglesworth looked aghast. "These are velvet slippers, hand-stitched by the royal cobbler of Westphalia! I will not surrender my footwear to some bureaucratic dungeon! It is robbery!"

  [00:30]

  The white void was at the bottom of the steps. The stairs were vanishing one by one.

  "Pigglesworth," Kai said, his voice dangerously calm. "It’s a typo. They meant soul."

  "Then they should hire a better scribe!" Pigglesworth crossed his arms. "I refuse to enter a contract that is riddled with errors. It shows a lack of attention to detail. I am holding out for an amendment."

  "Gideon," Kai said.

  "Yes, my Lord?"

  "Throw him."

  "With pleasure."

  "Un-hand me!" Pigglesworth shrieked as Gideon grabbed him by the belt and the collar. "I demand to speak to your legal represen—"

  Gideon hurled the Viscount through the air. Pigglesworth slammed face-first into the glowing [YES] rune.

  PING.

  [Terms Accepted.]

  The massive stone doors groaned. Ancient gears ground together. Slowly, painfully slowly, they began to crack open.

  [00:10]

  "It’s too slow!" Kai yelled. The white void had eaten the stairs. It was touching the edge of the platform.

  "Squeeze!" Gideon ordered.

  He grabbed Pigglesworth off the floor and shoved him through the narrow gap in the doors. Then he threw his pumpkin inside.

  [00:05]

  "Go, Gideon!" Kai pushed the knight.

  Gideon turned sideways, scraping his armor against the stone, and tumbled into the darkness of the temple.

  [00:03]

  Kai looked back. The world was gone. There was only a wall of blinding white nothingness inches from his face. He could feel the static on his skin.

  He dove.

  He hit the stone floor on the other side and rolled.

  BOOM.

  The massive doors slammed shut behind him, sealing with a heavy, final thud.

  Outside, the countdown hit [00:00].

  Silence.

  Kai lay on the cold stone floor, gasping for breath. He was alive. He wasn't deleted. He checked his hands. They were still solid.

  "We... we made it," Kai whispered.

  "I have lost a button," Pigglesworth announced from the darkness. "And I believe I have pulled a hamstring. I shall be drafting a letter of complaint regarding that door mechanism."

  "The Scripture was long," Gideon murmured reverently. "But we were faithful."

  Suddenly, the darkness of the room was pierced by a single, red spotlight beaming down from the ceiling.

  A mechanical, synthesized voice echoed through the chamber.

  "IDENTITY VERIFICATION REQUIRED."

  "PLEASE PROVE YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT."

  Kai groaned, letting his head hit the floor. "Oh no."

  "I am not a robot!" Gideon shouted at the ceiling, drawing his sword. "I am a Knight of the Realm! Show yourself, coward!"

  "I am a Viscount!" Pigglesworth added, dusting himself off. "And I am... wait."

  Pigglesworth looked down at his feet.

  He was wearing only one shoe.

  "My slipper," Pigglesworth whispered, horrified. He looked at the sealed door. "The contract... it was binding. They took my sole."

  Kai started to laugh. He couldn't help it. He lay on the floor of the sanctuary and laughed until his ribs hurt.

  "Welcome to the Terms and Conditions," Kai wheezed. "Read the fine print next time."

  actually read a User Agreement? Or do you just scroll and pray like Kai and myself?