Sor?n

  I miss you, and I wish you were here; this past month has been quite difficult for me. The weight of my responsibility, my purpose, has fallen upon me as hard as I have fallen for you. All I can feel is the pressure of the people who look at me for guidance and crushing glares from millions of eyes. I miss when the only eyes focused upon me were yours.

  Father passed away on the 10th. Doctors said of apoplexy—this is bleeding in the brain, my dear carpenter. I find solace in the fact that he passed in his sleep, a painless way to go that I feel would be best. We have told Mother he has simply gone to visit the court of a distant city. We are planning on making a smaller dining room specifically for her; she is too much, far too much. We don’t know what to do. I feel terrible enough about it already, all the medication the Blumavars have been giving her since Tyes’s death, and now I’m going to make her eat alone. I don’t know what’s worse, being trapped in the past like she is, unable to come to terms with everything, or seeing the family the way it is now. Managed to get out of her bedroom the other night; around 3 in the morning, she was running down the halls shrieking and screaming for Athalric and Tyes. Luckily, Viola sedated her quickly, though she managed to wake a lot of the staff; Farren said it scared one of the new maids half to death.

  I’m sure you would have assumed this after reading that Father has died, but I’m now the queen. I’m sure this must grant you bragging rights in Athanon—a woman so exotic she’s a queen. When was the last time they had one of those? Have they ever? The coronation was extremely unenjoyable; being deprived of air is only really enjoyable when you’re around; I nearly drowned! Now, did High Priestess Seliani say that it was dangerous for petite, wittle me to do the ritual? yes. Did she tell me twice? also yes. Did I do it anyway and end up a cold, sopping wet mess, coughing up rainwater on the college floor? yes for a third time. Luckily, it was only a day.

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  Dyder and Ilsenila are getting married—on my coin, but I don’t mind. I hate to echo my father in the context of someone as close to me as Dyder, but someone who is as close to me as my headguard I need to keep loyal, though I have never once questioned his loyalty. His father, on the other hand, decided that my act of kindness was offensive, an attack on his honor and the Dornytter family name. I’m giving your son an advance on the dowry; how is this an attack? I haven’t given this much thought since the argument with Romyll—he requested that I dock Dyder’s pay by fifty percent until I’m paid back, something I most certainly will not be doing—as I do not want grow my best military official to grow to resent me so I need to get myself back into his good graces, but this will be something for tomorrow ?nnywella to ponder as it is now 00:30. You are probably enjoying a lovely autumn evening by the sea right now, aren’t you? Lucky you.

  Your lack of response to my previous letters is shameful; you have the most powerful women in your homeland pining and waiting on her knees for your return. I can have any man I want, and yet I wait for you.

  From she who detests you,

  ??