I sat in the Pup, trying to recover from the nightmare I had just survived when a song started playing over the PA:

  “I’m Walking in a spider-web

  Leave a message, and I’ll call you back.”

  It was Spiderwebs by the band, No Doubt.

  “Elvis,” I said, irritation dripping from my voice.

  “Yes, Captain?” Elvis responded.

  “Kindly go fuck yourself.” I could hear CJ and Elvis both laughing over the comms. “Glad to hear the children are getting along,” I said and started planning how to handle the last 18 spiders.

  “Hey, Tiff. Quick question, why didn’t I get any experience for the 182 kills I already got?”

  Tiff responded over the comms, “Grind stations don’t give out experience per kill. You will receive ranks after completing the objective. Think of it like a mini-dungeon. The mobs are all similar in level and usually tailored to the combatant’s level. They will offer a challenge, but it will be easy enough that most people jump at the chance to get some easy XP. The higher your individual level, the more challenging the grind station will be. I would expect that you will need assistance on higher-level grind stations.”

  “I can help you kick some ass on the next one!” CJ yelled over the comms. “I’m ready to test this suit out. Elvis has been drilling me non-stop on this thing.”

  “NUB not ready, still not ready to fight,” Elvis offered.

  “Hey, what the hell, man? I thought I was making good progress,” CJ said.

  “NUBs first mistake was thinking,” Elvis replied.

  “Okay, enough with the dick measuring,” I barked, ending the bickering. “I need to finish off the last of these so I can get off of this rock,” I said. “Elvis, does the Pup have any sort of radar to show where the rest are?”

  “I made map of valley once spiders started moving. I used Pup’s sonar to map. I can ping the valley now that you are back inside the Pup,” Elvis said.

  “Why do I need to be inside the ship?” I asked.

  “Captain is familiar with sonar on Earth submarines?” Elvis asked.

  “I know what it is, but that is about it,” I responded.

  “Submarines emit sonar in waves of 235 decibels. If a human were outside the submarine at the time of ping, it would kill them. At 200 decibels, the vibrations would rupture your lungs. Above 210 decibels, the noise would be enough to cause hemorrhages in your brain,” Tiff chimed in.

  “The Pup has something similar. Sonar, as you know it wouldn’t work outside of water, but the PUP has an advanced photoacoustic sonar system. Think of it like sonar on steroids. If sonar is bullet, then Pup’s version of Sonar is heat-seeking missile!” Elvis said with excitement.

  I pondered that for a minute before an idea came to me. “Okay, I think I have an idea, Elvis. Ping the valley and see If you can zero in on the location of the remaining spiders,”

  “Pinging now,” Elvis replied before an audible ping rang out from the Pup. “Spiders are located in center of valley; they seem to be huddled together under one large mound.”

  “Okay, let me see if I can get their attention then,” I said, opening the pup’s rear bay door and walking down the ramp. This time, I grabbed a plasma rifle, just in case.

  “What is the plan, Captain?” Tiff asked.

  “I’m going to work smarter, not harder. I need to get the spiders to chase me back to the Pup, and then you will see,” I said, walking back toward the slope and down into the valley. With my increased stats, I could run much faster than I could before, so I used those stats and made a B-line for the center of the valley.

  “Elvis, tell me when I am close to the remaining spiders, I need to get their attention,” I said, panting through the comms. I wasn’t the fastest runner before, but I could pull a ten-minute mile on the treadmill. The center of the valley was about a mile and a half from the Pup, and I was on pace to get there in about 3-4 minutes based on the path that Elvis populated onto my mini map.

  As I ran, I thought about how amazing this was. Because of my level-ups and stat increases, I was stronger and quicker, my threat recognition and reaction times improved, and I retained knowledge and problem-solved more quickly than ever before. All of this was without even equipping my armor; with my armor equipped, my speed and strength were increased at ridiculous proportions, but I had to be wary of that 5-minute timer until I figured out a way around it. The stamina drain was something that could be an issue, but it helped to know I could replenish my energy and not be completely drained after the armor went offline.

  I ran straight to the large mound in the center of the valley. My plan was to approach, fire some rounds into the mound, get the spiders’ attention, and lead them back to the Pup. They were fast, but I was confident that I could outrun them. If I couldn’t do it without my armor, I could always just equip my armor and leave them in my dust.

  Unfortunately, my plan fell to shit pretty quickly. I stopped about 100 yards away from the mound and fired ten plasma rounds into it. Nothing happened.

  “What the hell? Are you sure they are down there, Elvis?” I asked, looking around to be sure the spiders weren’t flanking me.

  “Captain, get ready, spiders moving,” Elvis responded.

  What happened next was a blur. I expected the remaining spiders to start running up out of the mound, at which point I could pick a couple off them and run to the Pup. Instead, their mom joined the party.

  “Oh, my god!” I screamed as a monster exploded up out of the mound. It was about 15 feet tall, somewhat humanoid in shape, with two arms and legs, and the head of a spider. Out of each side of the head sprouted three-foot-long fangs dripping with some sort of viscous white fluid. The giant spider creature was black with coarse hairs poking out of its torso, but the torso looked more like the body of a spider. I think it was called the Cephalothorax, pulling some of the knowledge I got from my junior high natural science class out of my head. The abdomen protruded from the rear of the monster, hanging above its legs. White, fleshy eggs lined both sides of the abdomen. They were gooey, and slime dripped from them as the monster stood and let loose an ear-splitting roar that sounded more like metal scraping metal than anything that should come from a living being.

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  “Tiff, you said there wouldn’t be bosses at these grind stations!” I yelled as I stumbled backward and fell to my ass.

  “There usually aren’t,” Tiff replied.

  “Well, tell that to the giant pissed-off spider monster that just burst out of the ground!” I said in terror.

  “Patching into your helmet feed now,” Tiff said hurriedly.

  “Oh, damn!” CJ exclaimed, “Is that jizz on its fangs? That is just nasty!”

  “Enough with the commentary! I need a plan here, Tiff! Gimme a damn plan!” Scrambling backward, I managed to identify the monster:

  Spider Queen – Level 10

  Slay the Spider Hive queen to complete Grind station

  {Bonus objective provided to tutorial high performers courtesy of the System Master AI.}

  “Holy shit! It’s Level 10, Tiff!” I screamed as I got to my feet and started running back toward the Pup. “Fucking Randi, this was Randi!” I said, panicking. “That prick has it out for me. I told you he had it out for me!”

  “It makes sense. I didn’t expect to find a boss on a low-level grind station. That thing is way too high a level for you to fight right now. You need to run!” Tiff said.

  Running, I turned and fired at the queen. As the plasma rounds hit, she centered her focus on me and fell forward, placing her hands on the ground in front of her. She raised her head to the sky and screamed again as several of the eggs shot out of her abdomen, strings of thick, sticky goo trailing behind them. When the eggs hit the ground, Level 6 spiders immediately burst out of them and started chasing me. The queen screamed a second time as four more legs burst out of her abdomen, filling the holes the four eggs had previously occupied. The queen looked up with her multiple black beady eyes, clicked her fangs at me and started running toward me at a blinding pace.

  “My plasma rifle didn’t do anything but piss her off!” I screamed. “I have one more grenade. I’m going to see if that does the trick,” I said as I hurled my last grenade back toward the approaching spiders. There was about a ten-second delay from arming the grenade until it exploded. I threw this one immediately after arming it. The queen had emptied the rest of her egg sacs, and sure enough, there were 17 baby spiders now chasing me in addition to the queen.

  When the grenade landed, the queen looked over and made a chittering noise at a group of baby spiders; five of them took the grenade and started running away from the group. By the time the grenade went off, they were too far away for the blast to affect the queen. On top of that, the five baby spiders had jumped on top of the grenade to nullify some of the blast potential. The queen slowly turned her head from the sight of her dead babies and menacingly hissed in my direction.

  “Oooh,” CJ sucked in air at the sight of the queen. “That bitch is pissed, bro.”

  “Yeah, no shit! They are learning; they stole my damn grenade and ran away with it!” I said. “I’ve got to equip my armor; she is going to run me down otherwise.” I mentally equipped my armor, and as it materialized, I could feel my speed nearly double again. It wasn’t enough to get far away, but I would reach the Pup before the queen and group of babies.

  I fired a few shots off as I ran, hitting another two of the babies. I turned and fired a couple of rounds at the queen, but even the weapon provided by my armor seemed to have little effect on the queen.

  “Don’t waste your time shooting at the queen; she is level 10, and it will take something stronger than even your Havok armor at Level 4 to kill her,” Tiff said. “I hope you have a plan, Captain.”

  “I do!” I shouted as I continued running. “But I don’t know if it’s going to work on that thing! Elvis, make sure that damn bay door is open and be ready to close it immediately when I enter the Pup. Stand by for further direction!” I could hear the queen behind me. She was within 100 feet of me and gaining; her speed on open ground was just incredible. Luckily, I made it back to the slope, and I was no more than 50 yards away from the ship.

  “Elvis, get ready to close the bay door. I’m almost back to the Pup!” I shouted.

  “Understood!” Elvis responded.

  As I approached the Pup, I heard the queen roar again. She knew I was trying to get back to my ship, but she wasn’t ready to let me go yet. She launched herself into the air, over my head, landing 10 feet from the rear bay door of the Pup, I skidded to a stop; I was officially royally fucked.

  “She landed in front of the damn ship! What do I do now?” I screamed to everyone.

  “You gotta get inside that ship, Andy; that bitch is gonna rip you to shreds if you don’t. C’mon bro, use the old baseball slide and get under that crazy bitch!” CJ shouted over the comms. The ten remaining baby spiders were approaching my rear, and the queen stood 50 feet away, blocking my entrance to the ship. I didn’t have a choice; I had to get past her, and I had to do it now.

  I launched myself toward the queen, equipping my black hole daggers and holding them at my sides as I ran. The queen reared her top half up, her top two humanoid arms raised over her ugly spider head as she roared one more time. Running directly at her, I started to slide. The queen expected it; she raised up as high as possible and started to slam down, trying to crush me as I slid under her abdomen.

  Unfortunately for her, I expected this. The tactic I used here was a baseball slide. If you have ever seen a baseball player slide into a base and bounce back up to their feet, that is what I was going to attempt here. What I didn’t plan for and hadn’t tested was exactly how far I would pop up. With my armor and my additional stats, I shot up into the air, bounding over the grasping arms of the queen. With my increased dexterity, I flipped and swung the black hole daggers at her outstretched arms, cutting them both off at the elbows. Black blood spewed out of her arms as she wriggled and roared on the ground under me.

  I landed on the ramp of the Pup. “I’m in! close the damn door!” I shouted to Elvis as the bay doors raised and sealed.

  “What now?” Tiff asked.

  “Elvis, can you increase the output on that sonar?” I asked breathlessly, leaning against the bulkhead, trying to catch my breath. “Raise it to the max and let me know when it’s ready!” I said, running to the pup's cockpit.

  I could hear the queen banging on the hull of the Pup and the baby spiders landing all over the ship, scratching and banging, trying to get in.

  “Are all the remaining spiders here, Elvis?” I asked.

  “Yes, Captain! Time to kill!!!” he said triumphantly.

  “Then fucking kill ‘em!” I shouted as the ship’s ping sounded, rattling the hull and hurting even my ears.

  “It is done, Captain! Spiders are dead!” Elvis said triumphantly.

  “Way to think on your feet, Andy!” CJ shouted.

  “Good Job, Captain!” Tiff said. “Return to the Bloodhound now, and let’s get going.

  Grind Station Clear. Well Done!

  Experience Earned – Multiple Level ups achieved – Level 7

  (The Master System AI regrets to inform you that the investigation into the tutorial-level tampering is still ongoing. Results pending.)

  scrolled across my interface. I had gained three levels in total, jumping all the way to Level 7.

  I took a second to look at my new stats:

  Name – Andrew Timothy Dawes

  Race – Human

  Level – P-7

  Class – Havok Bringer

  Stats –

  Strength – P7 – 34%

  Intelligence – P8 – 12%

  Dexterity – P7 – 89%

  Defense – P7 – 17%

  Current skills:

  Make me feel good, Daddy – Health stim activation

  Baby needs his baba – Stamina Stim recovery

  “First, Randi is still being a dick. I have a feeling he is gonna try to prove his point again. Second, my level shot all the way to seven, and my stats all jumped, too. My intelligence stat is already at P8!” I said excitedly.

  “That was definitely a bit of quick thinking back there. The system rewarded you accordingly.” Tiff replied.

  I sat down in the cockpit, and Elvis displayed the outside of the ship on the panels in front of me. There were just puddles of black goo everywhere, with a few spider legs here and there.

  “I need a break from spiders for a while, Tiff,” I said as I settled into my seat. “This has got to get easier. Please tell me it gets easier.”

  “No, Captain, it does not get easier, but you did a good job today. Let’s enjoy it while we can,” Tiff said in my head. “We will all be waiting for you back on the Bloodhound. Get home safe.”