For the love of the gods… why is nothing ever simple. This was going so much better than I anticipated… now there are orcs involved… just once… just once, can we please just have a break.

  Gideon: “Sorry, deal’s off. We need to evacuate.”

  Gideon jumped out of his chair and began to shout orders at the other goblins in the room.

  Gideon: “Greta, get the boats unloaded as quickly as possible. Keith, make sure the children are ready to go at a moment’s notice…”

  Smutisha: “Darling! You don’t need to evacuate; we can handle this! Let us show you how well this alliance can work!”

  Gideon: “You are four people, and no offence lady, but you don’t exactly look like a seasoned battle veteran.”

  Smutisha: “I’m not, darling. But I do have a large group of men under my command nearby who will happily assist if we can get word to them. As for my friends here. Dwynfel has a magic sword and recently took down a corrupted incubus. Farrow is absolutely not to be trifled with on the battlefield. And my towering and rather imposing friend Damecus here, well, I have been given cause to believe that he is quite adept at leading on the battlefield. I simply ask that you give us a chance.”

  Gideon paused. He gave a pensive look before addressing Damecus.

  Gideon: “If you’re the big battlefield leader, give me your assessment.”

  Damecus: “Orcs are highly aggressive. Despite this, they are not stupid, they will not continue a battle that they do not believe that they can win. We simply need to intimidate them and convince them that our forces are greater than theirs. So, I have three questions. How many are they? How many are you? How many boats do you have?”

  Gideon gestured to the goblin that had run in and shouted about the incoming orcs.

  Goblin 1: “They looked to be slightly over one hundred.”

  Damecus: “A standard raiding party then. And my other two questions?”

  Gideon: “We are seventy in number. But 19 of those are children. As for boats, we have three decent sized boats and one skiff.”

  Damecus: “We shall need the skiff. I assume that the boats are your means of evacuation.”

  Gideon: “Yes.”

  Damecus: “Then get the other three boats ready with the children in them in case we fail. I am confident in our victory; however, caution is always warranted.”

  Gideon: “What exactly do you need the skiff for?”

  Damecus: “To get Farrow to our forces further down-river. While she obtains reinforcements, I shall stall them.”

  Gideon: “How many men do you have exactly?”

  Smutisha: “Back at camp, sixteen.”

  Gideon: “So we are still drastically outnumbered.”

  Smutisha: “We’ll be fine, darling. We have sound tactics and a magic sword to fall back on.”

  Damn it Smutisha… stop bringing up the sword. I may carry it around, but I still don’t know how to work the damn thing.

  Damecus: “We do not need to outnumber them. We just need to make them think we are more than we are. I need anybody that you have who can work a bow up on the battlements. Tell them to show themselves when I give the signal and not before.”

  Gideon: “What signal?”

  Damecus: “Undecided, but I shall make it obvious.”

  Damecus turned to Farrow.

  Damecus: “Once you get back to camp, arm up and head straight for the fort. Attack from their rear and panic them.”

  Farrow: “Oui.”

  Gideon: “Follow me miss. Our dockhand Sonya will help you with the boat.”

  Gideon, Farrow, and the other goblins disappeared from the hall and went off to prepare.

  Dwynfel: “Lady Smythe… why did you tell them about my sword?”

  Smutisha: “Because it is true, darling. Is it not?”

  Dwynfel: “Technically… yes. But I don’t know how it works. I haven’t felt any magic from it since the ball. Maybe it was a single use thing.”

  Smutisha: “Nonsense, darling.”

  She drew the sword from the scabbard on my back and placed it in my hand.

  Smutisha: “Have a go, darling. See what happens.”

  I held the sword in my hands. I concentrated as Phoenix had told me at the ball. I slowed my breathing and tried to remain calm and… nope… nothing… nothing at all.

  Dwynfel: “Sorry… but I’m not feeling anything here.”

  Smutisha: “Maybe it only works when your life is threatened. Anyway, they just needed a little boost in confidence. Now off you go, darlings… you have a battle to win.”

  Damecus: “Lady Smythe, I advise that you head to the docks with the goblin children. Then you can evacuate with them should we fail.”

  Smutisha: “Oh, darling. Don’t be silly. I’m going to get to know my new husband. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

  Gods, I appreciate her confidence in us… but she is going to get herself killed one of these days. She really needs to start playing things safer.

  Damecus took the sword from my hand and placed it back in the scabbard for me. I can’t actually do that myself while the scabbard is on my back… I only carry it there because everybody tells me I should keep it with me. I can barely wield the thing and without the magic it is pretty much useless to me. But you know, got to keep everyone else happy.

  We went to leave the hall. As we did, a goblin appeared in the doorway, looking frankly confused and nervous. We walked past him and headed for the battlements where goblin archers were getting ready.

  Dwynfel: “What exactly do you want me to do?”

  Damecus: “Be visible from the battlements. When I give the signal, you loose the first arrow. When you fire, the others will follow your lead.”

  When we reached the top of the battlements the orcs could be seen approaching the fort. They were simply heading for the front gate, making no attempt to conceal themselves. They are clearly confident that they can win. They are carrying a battering ram… so they must think they can just smash in the front door, kill everybody, and raid the place.

  Damecus put his club and shield down, climbed over the side of the battlements, and began slowly walking down the outer wall.

  Dwynfel: “Umm… won’t you need your weapons?”

  If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  Damecus: “Meeting them unarmed will unnerve them more. It will make my brute strength more apparent. And Dwynfel, do not open the gate under any circumstances.”

  Dwynfel: “Understood.”

  The Bracken archers took up their positions behind the battlement walls and obscured themselves, ready to pop out at the right moment. Damecus reached the ground and simply stood in front of the gate, waiting for them to approach. They got to about two hundred meters from the front gate before they stopped. Then, what I assume was their leader stepped forward to speak to Damecus.

  I could see the river in the distance and I could see Farrow and a goblin on the small skiff… slowly and quietly floating down the river. Damecus’ presence had distracted the orcs to the point that they didn’t even notice her. The leader reached Damecus, pushed his chest forward and roared, loudly in Damecus’ face.

  Orcs have a reputation that is even worse than that of goblins. Probably due to their size making them more of a threat. They are almost as tall as lizardmen and almost as aggressive as the Rakk. And fucking hell do they have viscous looking tusks. You really do not want one of these insane fucks to bite you.

  Damecus stepped up to his adversary, pushed his chest forward to the point that he bashed against the heavily armoured orc, and let out a fierce roar of his own. The orc snarled in response.

  Damecus: “I am Damecus of the sawtooth clan. This is my fort. State your purpose here!”

  Orc: “I am Blackfoot Bizal. That fort is to be ours!”

  Damecus: “Try and fucking take it!”

  Fucking hell… they are so loud. I can hear them perfectly clearly, even all the way up here. This must be doing Damecus’ ears in.

  Blackfoot Bizal: “Scout said this was a Bracken fort!”

  Damecus: “They are my Bracken. What of it?!”

  Blackfoot Bizal: “Never heard of lizardmen keeping Bracken. Why?!”

  Damecus: “Goblins breed fast, gets me a work force quickly. My men can’t afford to waste time on menial shit. That’s what the slaves are for!”

  Blackfoot Bizal: “Scouts never saw any lizardmen. Your kind are hard to miss. I think you lie!”

  Damecus laughed.

  Damecus: “Fucking try me! My men are all over this fort. Your men will be dead and having their skin used to make furniture within the hour.”

  Blackfoot pushed Damecus back and roared at him again.

  Damecus: “Touch me again and I will snap your fucking neck!”

  Blackfoot looked up at the battlements. Likely trying to see these men that Damecus talks of.

  Blackfoot Bizal: “All I see is one pathetic Grim!”

  Pathetic? Bloody charming.

  Damecus: “I have many species under my banner. Anyone can be tamed with enough force… on second thought, I might just kill your men and keep you as the new camp bitch. The goblins do enjoy having something to fuck in their downtime!”

  Fucking hell, Damecus. Is that why he wanted me visible on the ramparts… to make that threat? Just… fucking hell. Blackfoot did not like that… he began stamping from side to side and snarling in an increasingly aggressive manner.

  This gods-awful, and quite frankly abhorred exchange went on for at least twenty minutes. Like… I never knew Damecus could be so… well… vile. I know he’s just playing this role in order to stall the assault… but… just… fuck… I am at a loss for words.

  Blackfoot Bizal: “Enough of your bullshit. I have yet to see a single thing to back up your claims!”

  Damecus: “Then maybe you should turn around!”

  As he did Farrow, Sonya and the human forces began their charge from behind. How the absolute fuck is Farrow doing that? She has three swords floating by her side. They move in tandem with her arm. As she swings her arm the swords slice clean through anything near her. They have this creepy green glow. This is magic that I have never seen before. Blackfoot turned back to Damecus.

  Blackfoot Bizal: “What the fuck is this?!”

  Damecus: “I told you! I have many species under my banner, you dumb fuck!”

  Blackfoot raised his hand as a signal to his men.

  Blackfoot Bizal: “Smash the fucking door in! We can defend easier from the inside!”

  He lunged forwards and tried to headbutt Damecus. Which Damecus dodged with ease.

  Damecus: “Wrong choice!”

  Damecus grabbed Blackfoot’s head and snapped his neck in an instant. He picked up the corpse and threw it at the incoming orcs with the battering ram, before turning and running up the battlement walls.

  Damecus: “NOW!”

  I loosed my first arrow at the leg of one of the orcs holding the battering ram. As I did this, the rest of the archers popped out from the battlements to take aim at the enemy. The orcs were now stuck between the approaching forces, led by Farrow, and the entrance to the fort that they were desperately trying to smash open. Of course, they could also escape to the east from whence they came… but they still seem to think that they can win.

  The Bracken archers aren’t great. But that doesn’t really matter. The orcs are getting closer and closer and they are quite bunched up, so most arrows are hitting someone. Farrow’s forces are really decimating the orc ranks at the back. Although that is mostly just Farrow. The rest of the men are more focussed on just pushing the orcs towards the walls of the fort. To be fair to Sonya… she is doing pretty well for herself, even if she is just holding a shield and barging into orcs at random.

  Farrow is an absolute beast though. She’s so nimble, she’s just gliding through the orcs, slicing them open as she goes. No matter how many swings they make against her, she just dodges them with ease. She puts my agility to shame.

  Damecus reached the top of the battlements and picked up his club and shield.

  Damecus: “Is the gate holding?”

  He ran to the steps on the other side of the battlements. The sound of the battering ram smashing into the gate was terribly loud. The wood could be heard splintering and giving way.

  Goblin Gate Guard: “It is holding for now, but it won’t take much more of this!”

  Damecus: “Fuck it!”

  Damecus turned back to the battlement walls. He climbed back over the wall, positioned himself above the gate, waited for the orcs to take several steps back in order to get a run up with the battering ram. As they did, he jumped off the wall and smashed his club down on the battering ram with tremendous force… snapping it in two. The orcs who were holding it all fell to the ground from the impact. As Damecus stood up, he roared at them and began swinging his club down on the nearest orcs, absolutely destroying their faces.

  It was at this point that the orcs seemed to decide that they were outmatched. One of the orcs ripped a horn of Blackfoot’s corpse and began to blow it. As soon as the sound of the horn rung out, all of the orcs began to leg it to the east.

  Damecus: “Don’t go! I was just getting started! I’ll kill every single one of you!”

  He is really embracing this role isn’t he. Once the orcs had retreated out of sight, Farrow and the rest of the men arrived at the gate.

  Farrow: “Bien joue.”

  Damecus: “I do not know what that means. But those are some impressive skills you have there. Could not have done this without you.”

  Smutisha emerged from the main hall, followed by the nervous goblin from earlier. As she walked towards the gate, she shouted up to me.

  Smutisha: “Well, darling. Is it all over?”

  Dwynfel: “I believe so.”

  Smutisha: “Good, then open the damn gates so we can get on with the wedding.”