And so, I find myself sat in Madame Laurent’s… sat next to two Bracken… who look to be an unfortunate combination of excited and terrified… as well as surrounded by topless women.

  Damecus is sat opposite us, next to Agaroth… who is being straddled by Big Bertha… it seems that even after all these years, she is still his favourite. At least her breast isn’t actually in his mouth this time. Probably because he is trying to have a serious conversation with Damecus. Even so, he still rubs his face in them frequently.

  Nomius is sat to the side with two guys that I assume are Olly and Dolly. He sat over there on his own initially but they seem to have appeared out of nowhere and are chatting to him using a little blackboard. I have no idea what they are saying… but I assume they are introducing themselves and explaining that Kiyui said that he may be willing to teach them how to sign.

  To be fair to Kiyui, they seem nice and Nomius certainly seems to be getting on with them. Although it is disconcerting to look over and see Nomius being so casual with them, given their state of dress. Other than some earrings, they are pretty much wearing nothing… apart from some tiny little sets of underwear… they are basically little pouches that their penises barely fit into attached to them by… well… what could barely be classed as more than strands of thread. Their full arse cheeks are on display… and Nomius is just chatting to them as if everything is perfectly normal.

  Fucking hell… now one of them has sat on his knee. Just what the actual fuck? I know lizardmen are generally less bothered by nudity than most… but still… come on. Goblin culture isn’t bothered by nudity either, but the Bracken seem to be at least mildly perturbed by this situation.

  Agaroth: “Don’t look so fuckin’ terrified boys. They don’t bite… unless ya want ‘em to that is.”

  Thomas: “Do you not find this odd? I’ve spent years looking at naked women… but this… it’s like pornography that can see you?”

  Here we fucking go again, why does everybody keep using words that I don’t understand?

  Keith: “I know what you mean. It is one thing wanking off to porn, but here, they can see you. They know exactly what you’re thinking, it’s unsettling.”

  Dwynfel: “Okay… what the hell is pornography?”

  Keith: “Surely you know that? It’s sexy paintings and drawings.”

  Like the stuff that was hanging all over Smutisha’s room at the manor?

  Dwynfel: “Why would I know that?”

  Keith: “You live in this society. All the porn that we’ve found was made by these people.”

  Dwynfel: “Yeah… but I’ve never come across that before.”

  Thomas: “To be fair to you. It is usually quite well hidden in rather unassuming looking books. Unless you know what to look for in the titles, you’ll probably miss it entirely.”

  Dwynfel: “And how do you know this? I thought you said that reading books wasn’t your thing.”

  Thomas: “It isn’t… but I would scarcely class pornography as reading books. There isn’t much reading involved, if you catch my meaning.”

  Dwynfel: “Hang on… you said sexy paintings and drawings… what classes as sexy exactly? Because loads of world-famous artwork could be considered sexy.”

  Suddenly… either Olly or Dolly sprung up from Nomius’ table… I assume Olly on account of it was almost like his ears had pricked up at the sound of a topic he knew about. Anyway… the one who wasn’t sitting on Nomius’ knee. He moved over to where we were sitting in a few swift strides.

  Olly: “That entirely depends on who you ask. What is classed as pornography is a subjective issue, because, what one person finds sexy somebody else may find relatively banal.”

  Dwynfel: “Is it really that complicated?”

  Olly: “Oh, you have no idea. Some people consider anything with any kind of nudity to be pornographic. Even if it is simply a bare breast… or some children playing naked in the river.”

  Keith: “That’s ridiculous. How is a bunch of children playing in a river pornographic?”

  I am inclined to agree with Keith. Tadwick spent most of his time across the sea completely naked. From what I gather, pornography is supposed to be sexual. And there was nothing sexual about Tadwick flouncing about with nothing on. So, I scarcely see how some kids playing naked in a river could be considered pornographic.

  Olly: “Some people consider any and all nudity to be offensive and pornographic.

  Keith: “They need their heads examined.”

  Olly: “I agree. Bodies are bodies. Finding nudity offensive is beyond stupid. However, there are some people who go very much in the other direction. They argue that even depictions of the most outrageous of sex acts isn’t pornography, but is in fact art.”

  Thomas: “Surely porn is just porn?”

  Olly: “Of course porn is porn. But you could argue that porn, in itself, is an art form. There is definitely a wide variety. And the quality varies massively. But denying that something of that nature is porn to begin with is just plain silly.”

  They are taking this conversation incredibly seriously. I was really expecting my question to be answered in a quick sentence and then move on… but nope.

  Olly: “If we ignore the obvious smut for a moment and just focus on actual famous artworks. The ‘Portrait of Madame DeBeviaire’ by Alfonse DeRue…”

  Keith: “Oh, I know that one. I read about it in a book on fine art that I found.”

  Olly: “It is a very famous piece, and for good reason. The precision of the brush strokes, the realism of the image, etc. It is truly magnificent. But there have been campaigns to remove it from the public art display in Vardan.”

  Keith: “Why?”

  Olly: “Because she is topless. Some people consider breasts to be too erotic to have on public display. Some people argue that seeing breasts can be damaging to children.”

  Thomas: “What?”

  Keith: “But that is literally who breasts are for. The whole purpose of breasts is to feed children… that… that just makes no sense.”

  Okay, once again I am inclined to agree with Keith there. It is pretty moronic to suggest that seeing breasts is damaging to children. Although, I do understand why people consider breasts to be erotic… because fucking hell do I find them erotic.

  Olly: “Again, I completely agree. I find it fascinating where different people draw the line. Some people are offended by all nudity. Others are mortally offended by child nudity but fine with adults. Others don’t bat an eye at naked children but are disgusted by adult nudity. Some people are fine with casual nudity but draw the line at an erect penis or an open vagina. Others don’t seem to have a line at all.”

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  Thomas: “What’s wrong with an open vagina?”

  That does seem like an oddly specific place to draw the line.

  Olly: “Apparently, if they are open then they are inviting sexual congress. Which kind of makes sense, but also doesn’t. There are various reasons why a vagina may be open that don’t involve sex. It’s the same with erections… not all erections are sexual. Small boys get erections all the time for absolutely no reason. Hell, that isn’t even limited to small boys, penises have minds of their own sometimes, most men wake up with an erection, I often get an erection if I really need a wee. There are situations where these things occur in a non-sexual context, but because we as a society link them to sex, people have trouble separating these things from the actual act of sex.”

  He is really getting into this debate isn’t he. He must have spent a lot of time thinking about this stuff.

  Olly: “Personally, I think the people who are panicked by non-sexual nudity have some serious issues themselves. They simply aren’t mature enough to deal with their issues, so they thrust those issues onto other people so that they feel justified in having them.”

  Well, I feel personally attacked by that last statement.

  Dwynfel: “But this place makes a living out of nudity and sex… so there is definitely a connection there.”

  Olly: “I never said that there wasn’t a connection. What I am saying is that the connection is situational. This place is very much a product of our society. Society convinces everyone that these things need to be covered up and hidden and that just makes people way more interested in seeing them. That’s why people are willing to spend large quantities of money in places like this, even if it is just to see some nudity. If nudity wasn’t so frowned upon within the city, then people wouldn’t be flocking in here so much.”

  I am willing to concede on that one. If all the women outside were topless, then nobody would come in here and pay to see a woman topless.

  Dwynfel: “Given that your income mostly comes from this stuff… shouldn’t you be promoting the idea of censoring nudity? It boosts your business after all.”

  Olly: “The house makes the most money from nudity. Nudity draws people in to spend money on the other services, like food and drink. I make the most money from sex acts, because only ten percent of that goes to the house. I don’t get a cut of the food or drink money at all. And as I’ve been saying, if people didn’t link nudity with sex and nudity was more common and less frowned upon in the city… that definitely doesn’t mean that people will stop coming in here and paying for sex. No matter how happy society becomes with nudity there will always be a demand for sex workers.”

  He does have a point. I can’t imagine the likes of Agaroth would stop coming in here for sex just because he could see some breasts outside.

  Keith: “He’s right ya know. Even at our camp we have goblins that trade sex for things.”

  Olly: “Anyway, we were talking about art. When it comes to the debate of, is it art? Or is it porn? There or many cases where the line is a bit more debatable.”

  Well, I am now firmly of the belief that those paintings that Smutisha has on her walls are of the pornographic variety.

  Keith: “Such as?”

  Olly: “’The Whore of the Hells’ by Eric Vandervald for example. The whore in question is completely naked, labia on show, but the vagina is closed, she is surrounded by several devils, all with penises on display, but none of them with erections. She is beckoning them towards her.”

  Thomas: “That does sound a bit more on the porn side.”

  Olly: “This is where the debate gets a bit more interesting, because people argue that the whore in question is beckoning the devils towards her in a bid to bribe her way out of the hells using sex acts. But the devils are unmoved because they have seen it all before, hence the lack of erections. It is argued that the piece is more about the philosophical implications than arousing the onlooker. It is supposed to encourage thought, not masturbation.”

  Dwynfel: “I have to say… you are very knowledgeable on this subject.”

  Olly: “I have a real passion for art. I look up as much information on it as I can. I find it fascinating”

  I am willing to admit that I do find what he has been saying interesting… and he clearly has a passion for it. I feel kind of silly… but I never really thought about these prostitutes having interests like this.

  I wonder what other areas of interest some of them hold. Do you think any of them are into normal things… like fishing? Or crochet?

  Olly: “Then of course you get the more obvious examples… like ‘The Cunt of Mount Savant’ by Jeave Alo. That is just an extreme close up of a vagina being penetrated. Fairly clearly pornographic. ‘Twinks at Play’ by Kazt is a bit less close up but those twinks are certainly playing with things… and of course the infamous ‘Bears in the Woods’ by Unterwalen.”

  Suddenly Agaroth piped up and shouted in our direction.

  Agaroth: “Ha… ‘Bears in the Woods’… I’ve seen that one! Its fuckin’ filthy! It’s hilarious watchin’ the snooty twats have a panic attack when they walk in the viewing room, hahahaha.”

  He returned to playing with Bertha’s breasts and talking to Damecus. I really wish I knew what they were talking about.

  Olly: “Anyway, sorry for taking over your conversation there. It’s just, it’s an area of interest to me. Can I get you boys anything before I go… some beers? Some snacks? A blowjob?”

  Dwynfel: “Drinks are fine, thanks.”

  Thomas: “Oh, can we have another one of those weird fried onion flower things? The last one was great.”

  Keith: “Would this blowjob be from you… or?”

  I looked at Keith with confusion. To my surprise, he also got a questioning look from Thomas.

  Keith: “What? If it’s an option, I’d prefer the lass wi’ the big tits over there. But I don’t know how this works. I don’t have any money to pay for anything. I don’t even know who’s paying for all this. But if our friendly art expert here is free then hell, a blowjob’s a blowjob.”

  Whilst I understand the sentiment, I am still surprised that he is so open to such things. He’s only been away from home for a day and he’s already more comfortable with this stuff than me.

  Olly: “I am afraid that nothing is free here. Your friend Agaroth has been footing the bill so far.”

  Dwynfel: “I thought you Bracken were supposed to value your racial purity.”

  Keith: “Well yeah, when it comes to having kids, but last time I checked, nobody got pregnant from swallowing… plus, he’s a guy.”

  Agaroth: “Oi… I’m paying for beers, food, and the floorshow… I ain’t paying for anythin’ beyond that… if you want your dick sucked you can find your own way tae pay for it!”

  Keith: “Guess it’ll just be the beers and weird onion thing then.”

  Olly: “Shame…

  Olly leaned down next to Keith’s ear and spoke very gently.

  Olly: “…I’m interested to know what you taste like.”

  And with that he kissed Keith on the cheek and toddled pff to the bar to place our order. Keith looked visibly uncomfortable.

  Thomas: “Are you okay?”

  Keith: “Is everyone around here that forward?”

  Dwynfel: “They really aren’t… a whorehouse probably isn’t the best place to take you if you want to observe standard human interactions.”

  Agaroth: “But it is the best place tae go tae see the fuckin’ interesting ones.”